Why so long?


You, my average imaginary fan, must be wondering why I did not update this blog for so long. It has been five years and you probably thought that I was either dead or in prison. No such luck. I was not even depressed or ill and I didn’t update it due to boredom. Yes, blog boredom. It could be that social media allowed me to vent and disagree easier than a blog but I am not fed up with social media, or as our Prime Minister calls it, antisocial media. I agree with his description but in social media, if you want hate and destructive arguments then you will find it and too easily at times. I have blocked people, unfriend others and even taken down posts because it was causing turmoil among followers. Well, I am not here to lament social media too much but hope to restart my blog. Just wait and see if I can get into the habit again. TTYL

The Trinidad and Tobago Police Force are Bullies and the Government, Thieves


police

The Police Force in Trinidad and Tobago is a joke and a despicably bad one at that. It was easy for me and nearly every citizen in this country to come to that conclusion after the deliberate act of terror unleashed by Police onto the population in the form of nationwide roadblocks of Friday 20th March 2015 and Monday 23 March 2015. This caused people who had to go into Port of Spain for work to get there in 5 hours instead of the usual 1 hour or so. These roadblocks were meant to cause nationwide chaos and to terrorize the population, nothing else.

incompetent

The reasons for these acts of terror are not apparent but some say it was meant to send a signal to the Government and population by the Police Force that something like the July 27th 1990 coup is on the near horizon. Others say it was tied to the wage negotiation with the Government which is not going in the Bully’s favor. Regardless of the reason the deliberate act of terrorism by the Police Force it showed the country, in a most convincing manner, why crime is out of control in this country. It now appears that most of the Police Force are thugs, bullies and genuine idiots who are not interested in protecting and serving anyone but themselves and their Master. It now appears to the public that most of the members of the Police Force are either borderline criminals or practicing criminals and little else. They are much like the Government.

thief
It sounded like a joke to me but the Minister of National Security (not Gary Griffith) launched an investigation into who gave the orders to terrorize the country. This investigation will take two weeks which is a ridiculous amount of time to find out who is the Mr. Big of the Police Force. Would heads be rolling after the report is read and then understood by the powers that be? Would arrests be made and the Terrorists tried in court? I doubt there will be a productive outcome of the investigation since inaction by the coward Government is more their style. Maybe Kamla will stall, fumble and mumble and then call a Commission of Enquiry  so that friends of The Party could continue to fill their pockets with funds of the Treasury. It is this continuous enrichment of the chosen minority which has angered all of us and if this blatant “thiefing” by the People’s Partnership is not stopped and remedied then the uneasiness will continue. I hope this Government is able to understand what the writing on the wall is saying and it is not saying “thanks for all the box drains.”

Anyway, it’s too late for this Ali Baba so let’s elect another.

The New Carnival Mentality


Trinidad CarnivalFor too long the term Carnival Mentality was used in a very derogatory manner to describe the citizens of Trinidad and Tobago. When someone is described as possessing a Carnival Mentality it means that person is lazy, carefree, unproductive, promiscuous and prone to smiling too much while having the ability to enjoy oneself in the most genuine of ways. It meant the person or country with this mentality can achieve nothing meaningful in life even though they showed true signs of real happiness. I might have agreed with this statement several years ago but I can’t anymore.

Trinidad and Tobago is now a world Carnival powerhouse and to do so requires the country to be productive all year as such an event can not be created in a couple months. Carnival involves so many people from nearly all sectors effectively planning and producing in now what seems like second nature to the country.

The organizational abilities to pull off one small all-inclusive fete are tremendous much less the big ones like Beach House, Brian Lara, Moka and UWI. The Carnival big bands like Bliss, Fantasy, Harts, Island People and Yuma are now million dollar companies operating throughout the year and survive and grow using prudent and innovative business skills and not laziness as previously advertised.

The musical talent which Carnival produces is nothing short of mind boggling and I wonder if it was not for Carnival would there be so much young people taking pan, guitar, keyboard and violin lessons in Trinidad and Tobago? Machel Montano and Machel Monday is now a worldwide phenomenon which not only shows off musical talent but professionalism both on stage and behind the scenes. This is not a one man show but it involves hundreds working in sync towards the goal of perfection and a properly working sound system. This concert is nothing short of exceptional in terms of planning, organizing and enjoyment.

The Carnival Mentality has now given rise to the growth of the fitness and health obsessed in Trinidad and Tobago. These individuals are increasing in numbers yearly. The obsessed and not so obsessed now frequent gyms and reduce bar visits and hence drunkenness simply to look dynamite in a carnival costume. Sadly, this does give rise to highly egoistic people with a craving for tight clothes and loose eyes.

Carnival also drives the detractors to buying more books and it has produced a few book worms who are hopefully more beneficial to society than the scantily clad but the world needs the scanty just as much for it gives life purpose. The bookworms and noise-phobic make every effort to avoid the hedonist who revel and ogle at the revelers. It is only because of this Carnival Mentality they can now boast about their sense of moral superiority. You always need the bad to make the good look and feel better.

Without Carnival and the new Mentality it produces we would be just be another island in the sun selling rabid boredom to the rabidly boring.

Healdine Abuse, Sorry to Say


Trinidad Express

Trinidad Express

With all that is going on the political arena in Trinidad and Tobago, the Trinidad Express took the time to use its precious mind-swaying front-page to highlight a suspected personality flaw in the country’s top, home-grown, international Soca superstar, Machel Montano. Maybe it was because his alleged bad attitude took place at a town school fete is the reason it was given grossly exaggerated importance or some other ulterior or political motive – I don’t know.  I doubt the newspaper is being paid off by some Big Men with shares and money to distract the public from the real issues that are, and have always been plaguing the nation for some time – greed, dishonesty and wife-beating abilities of our elected and selected politicians. Maybe the newspaper is trying to tell the public that the thing we saw around the dark clouds was not a silver lining but the main ingredient in an orange juice shipment.

When I read the headline article I was sadly disappointed and enraged that the sound system was not up to professional standards. Also, that the reaction by the superstar, which seems to be a rejection of sloppiness, should now engage and enrage the normally weak minds of editors, journalists and other rum-oriented citizens via the front-page is unfortunate and even tragic. That Mr. Montano might be throwing temper tantrums all over the place for some very good reasons and a couple bad ones is not new, news or close to headline news. However, the discovery of a decomposing body which might be that of the missing Caribbean Airlines director is depressing and frightful thus should be fitting as a the main headline and a lifesaver given the need to alert unsuspecting visitors merrily flocking our shores for Carnival.

We are a country whose minds are shaped by our manipulative headlines and the chronic ignorance and bias of participants of talk shows rather than our ability to analyze anything beyond the superficial and emotional surface. If citizens of the land of the Humming Bird, corbeau and rotting corpses could see beyond their biases, hate and fear we would not have elected Team Manning and certainly not even give birth to, much less voted for Team Kamla and her band of smart men and thieves.

2011 in review – akalol.wordpress.com


The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2011 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

Crunchy numbers

London Olympic Stadium holds 80,000 people. This blog was viewed about 690,000 times in 2011. If it were competing at London Olympic Stadium, it would take about 9 sold-out events for that many people to see it.

In 2011, there were 57 new posts, growing the total archive of this blog to 713 posts. There were 189 pictures uploaded, taking up a total of 41mb. That’s about 4 pictures per week.

The busiest day of the year was August 27th with 8,271 views. The most popular post that day was Snooki Made Simpler.

Click here to see the complete report.

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Snooki Made Simpler


Snookie in Jersey Shore

Snookie in Jersey Shore

Who is Snooki – Sooki is an American, female celebrity who sometimes looks sexy to some

Where was she born – In Chile but was adopted at age six months by Italian-American parents

How old is Snooki – Age: 23 – She was born 11/23/1987 – November 23rd 1987

Is Snooki her real name – Of course not! Her real name is Nicole Polizzi

Snooki poses

Where did she get the name Snooki – From her friends in school

What is Snooki famous for – Snooki became famous mainly for her role in the popular MTV reality show, Jersey Shore.

Why – Why what?

Why is Jersey Shore popular – Please continue

Snooki

Is Snooki really short – Sooki is 4 feet 11 inches which is probably the same height as Shakira. Snooki is however thicker than Shakira so she looks short even when photographed standing alone.

What does thick mean – According to the Free Online Dictionary thick is an adjective meaning “having a relatively large distance between opposite sides; not thin; a thick book; thick walls; thick glass.”

Will she be famous for much longer – Nobody really knows. Snooki is a combination of cute and irritating so as long as the world needs these two in one compact, female package Snooki will continue to earn at least $US30, 000 per episode of Jersey Shore while continuing to address university students for a fee of $US32, 000.

Does Snooki Facebook, Twitter and blog – Yes – She Tweets – She Blogs – She Facebooks and She even Websites

So she is a bit like Kim Kadashian with some talent – Yes, but no sex tape.

Snooki signs something

1,000,000


Victoria's Secret Models

This Beach Called Life, the blog you are reading, finally received one million visits a few hours ago but this feat took over 3 years to accomplish. Some blogs do 1,000,000 visits in 3 months but this blog is not that type of blog despite efforts to become one. There isn’t much to say on reaching a million only that the second million will depend on even more luck as the competition for blog space and corrupt minds grows.  A million is just a number and like eight inches, might seem big, small or typical depending what you are familiar with.

A casual and even formal look at the visits per post shows that Victoria’s Secrets models are very popular and a Topless Latoya Woods did not do too badly considering the amount of time she was exposed for in this blog and in front of photographers. I am particularly happy for Zoe Saldana’s Star Trekking ways, Freida Pinto’s Pretty Face, Megan Fox’s Sex Symbol and the nudity shown by Jessica Alba and Kate Winslet. I am always amazed at how Lose Women in Tight Jeans and local porn can get people to come.

This blog contains 635 post so far and if  you are one of those who are curious which are the most popular post, here are the top 45:

  1. Victoria’s Secret – Models Exposed 104,433
  2. Megan Fox Sex Symbol Revealed 47,966
  3. Nude Body Painting 38,003
  4. Jesssica Alba and Kate Winslet – Nudity 29,909
  5. The Bikini in 2009 – Still Almost Naked 28,311
  6. Michael Jackson – “This Is It!” 27,140
  7. Life on Mars and Halle Berry25,583
  8. The Dark Knight’s Dilemma 25,100
  9. Sexiest Women Alive, Really20,632
  10. Trinidad Carnival 2009 Pictures 19,155
  11. Freida Pinto – More Than a Very Pretty F 18,317
  12. Angelina Jolie vs Jennifer Aniston 16,338
  13. Porn in Trinidad and Tobago – Something 14,900
  14. Zoe Saldana – Star Trek 14,171
  15. Maxim Models 13,564
  16. Lady GaGa Wants to Take a Ride on Your D 11,579
  17. Iker Casillas and Sara Carbonero – Spain 11,191
  18. Some Women Would Rather go Naked 10,032
  19. Everything You Wanted to Know About aka 9,640
  20. Fast and Furious – Loose Women, Tight Je 9,414
  21. Time Traveler’s Wife – A Male Butt Movie 8,659
  22. Rihanna – Umbrella – The Song To Change 8,581
  23. The Dark Knight vs Titanic 8,517
  24. The Photography 7,716
  25. Trinidad Carnival 2008 Pictures 7,303
  26. Sex, Celebrities and Sex Tapes – Why Lif 6,853
  27. Movie Taglines – The Untold Story…So F 6,080
  28. Latoya Woods Topless 5,754
  29. Porsche Cayenne – Hot Like Pepper 5,466
  30. FIFA World CUP 2010 – Waving Flag – K’na 5,101
  31. Miss Trinidad and Tobago Universe 2010 – 4,763
  32. Trinidad Carnival 2010 Photos3,996
  33. Psychic Predictions For 2009 and Beyond 3,724
  34. Why Golf Makes Men Horny 3,711
  35. Desirable, Sexy, and Beautiful Women 3,691
  36. Who Is The Iron Man And Do You Really Ca 3,465
  37. Latoya Woods – The New Miss Trinidad and 3,329
  38. Seven Pounds – A Weighty Movie 3,124
  39. Maria de Lujan Telpuk and the Playboy C o 2,981
  40. Aya Sugimoto Would Rather Go Naked… 2,824
  41. Kindle now available in Trinidad and Tob 2,656
  42. The Quest For The Golden Ratio 2,626
  43. Sex Tape – Trinidad and Tobago Style 2,601
  44. France Wins World Cup Exit 2,587
  45. Beyonce Good for Trinidad and Tobago 2,573
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How Not to Learn to Draw


early work by the former atrist turned blogger, aka_lol

early work by the former artrist turned blogger, aka_lol

I drew the picture about 5 or 6 years ago while learning to draw using the book, Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain by Betty Edwards. It was my attempt to reproduce a drawing from the book Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark. I wished I continued to learn since it is a skill I admire in those who can draw well. I also admire people who can write and those who can eat a wrapped chicken roti while standing without the roti suffering fatal structural damage and leakage.

Picasso, Nude Woman with Necklace 1968Recently, I saw a painting by the late Pablo Picasso and like the rest of the non-art world, I said, “What?” I have been saying “What?” about Picasso’s work since I have been seeing Picasso’s work. I suppose my reaction is typical and it is why he is considered a great artist though my reaction was initially one of “You call that art.” I am not here to argue if Picasso is great since popular opinion and auctions have settled that. I am only writing this post to encourage me to learn to draw as it will be my fallback position if this blogging thing doesn’t work out.

Art is never finished, only abandoned ~ Leonardo da Vinci

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Jumbie’s Watch and Trinidad and Tobago Bloggers


Click For Larger Image

Click For Larger Image

Comments from Jumbie’s Watch have made the printed Trinidad Guardian, probably not for the first time but it is the first time I noticed. Keep it up, Jumbie!

This wasn’t supposed to be a promo for Jumbie’s blog, which I regularly visit, but when a blogger‘s comments are featured so prominently in the printed daily newspaper then there is  cause for celebration.   Jumbie is on the outside looking in and he sees local happenings in sometimes a different light to those on the inside stuck in traffic. What may also surprise and excite Jumbie is that his comments were posted very close to a photo of The Minister of Finance.

I think blogs are the new media and it is not concentrated single source media but scattered and diverse. Not all blogs will find favor with everybody but blogs build communities and collectively, they can be a force to recon with. Global Voices has that concept and I think it is the right one. I am not suggesting blogs will replace traditional media but it brings a different life to issues that may never have been represented before.

I regularly visit many blogs by local bloggers but don’t always comment because sometimes I just don’t know what to say that would add to the blog. Sometimes I am just too tired. There are probably millions of blogs out there but I prefer local bloggers since  they are easier to relate to even on foreign topics. I list some of the blogs I regularly visit  in no particular random, alphebetial order below. I know when there are list the ones not listed are sometimes offended but the list is not complete and will be updated as I remember and/or shouted at by friendly, disgruntled bloggers.  Getting a point across is what bloggers should always try to do.

ban-d-wagonist

BCRAW

Four Fingers and a Thumb 2.0

Francomenz

The Freedom Chambers

Girlblue

Jumbie’s Watch

Lifespan of a Chennette – chennette.net

Lyndersay Digital

The Manicou Report

Mauvais Langue

Wordtryst

Words Unspoken

Wuzdescene – a take on life in T and T!

Click for larger image

Click for larger image

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A Blog Survey


This Beach Called Life - recent daily blog stats

This Beach Called Life - recent daily blog stats

People start blogging for many reasons but I think the main reasons are (a) because everybody is doing it, and (b) it’s cheaper than a short skirt. Soon, however, if we persist, we get very attached to our blog and it becomes a part of us just like our chiseled abs or our “Beyonce in a short skirt” desktop background. We worry about not posting and we assume once we write a post it becomes a significant part of the blog universe. We believe people read out blogs and hope it becomes a source of inspiration and envy just as our Nissan Almeras and women have become. Posting to our blog then becomes our fix.

beyonceThere is nothing bad about being addicted to blogging except it changes the way we look at the world causing us to go through life looking at every thing and every situation wondering if this could be our next blog post.

With this in mind, and in order to try to get a better understand the blogger’s mind, I developed a blog survey. I posted the questions below because I needed a fix but if you seriously want to help move blog science forward, then do the actual survey by clicking here.


1.0 Why do you blog?

(a)    It will be my legacy

(b)    I need attention

(c)    I need an outlet for my frustration

(d)    Sex

(e)   I am turned on by comments

2.0 Do you plan to sell the rights of you blog to a movie company?

(a)    What?

(b)    Once the price is right

(c)    Only if Megan Fox agrees to the lead

(d)    Yes, but the movie must contain no nudity during the intermission.

3.0 How many visits does your blog receive per month?

(a)    Over 30,000

(b)    20,000 to 30,000

(c)    Less than 20,000

(d)    Less than 100

(e)    What is a visit?

4.0 How often do you update your blog?

(a)    I am a freak of nature so I update daily

(b)    Less than 20 times per month

(c)    Whenever I feel lonely

(d)    Every time the government decides to build a smelter

5.0 Does your blog contain photos portraying tasteful or disgusting nudes?

(a)    It’s the reason I blog

(b)    No, I don’t believe in nudity so I shower with all my clothes on.

6.0 Will blogging ever replace parliament?

(a)    Never

(b)    No

7.0 Do you sleep in the nude or have arm pits?

(a)   Yes

(b)   No

8.0 Do you think Angostura Bitters adds to the taste of pelau or bland blogs?

(a)    What is pelau

(b)    What is Angostura Bitters?

(c)    No, since it makes the pelau taste like orange juice

(d)    Yes, since it possibly has small amounts of deadly poisons which can enhance the taste of pigeon peas and some bloggers

9.0 Have you ever blogged while eating?

(a) No

(b) Does food count?

10.0 What is your favorite blog?

(a) This Beach Called Life

(b) All of the above

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Michael Jackson – What His Life Really Meant


Michael Jackson - 1958 to 2009

Michael Jackson - 1958 to 2009

So, what happens to us after we die? Well, if we were any good we would have ten albums in the Top Ten at the same time. We would be on the cover of nearly every  newspaper in the world and we would be the subject of countless blogs. The news of our death would cause the big TV networks and small ones to dump their regular programming to carry the event. People would gather in large numbers at our home and the hospital where we died.  We would have the most popular, currently watched videos on YouTube and our music played all day on the radio. Our death would cause shock, sadness but a flood of happy memories. We would be idolized and our questionable side put into perspective. We would cause the World to stop dead in its tracks and celebrate our life rather than mourn. If we were any good, people would be singing our songs to fill an emptiness they can’t hide.

I suppose it is only after he died Michael Jackson knew what his life really meant.

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Megan Fox Sex Symbol Revealed


megan-fox-wallpaper

Megan Fox become a sex symbol seconds after she opened the bonnet of  the old, yellow, American car that was overheating in the movie Transformers. This bonnet-opening scene has since become a classic and permanently featured in the dreams of those fabled creatures called decent men. It was also the scene which pushed Angelina Jolie from the top of the sex symbol list and to get a tattoo upgrade. There were no special effects or cryptic back tattoos in that scene but only raw, sensual curves shot from all the right angles.  If there was ever an ad to promote sex symbolism it would be the Megan Fox Transformer overheating engine scene and nothing to do with Angelina Jolie’s back . I would argue that Transformers was successful only because of the hot Megan Fox and not because of the guy who also starred with her. His name fails me right now.

megan-fox-bra-wet-03For a girl to become a sex symbol there must be consensus by the mass media and especially by that new mass media called blogs.  Fortunately, this blog overwhelmingly votes for Megan Fox, not only to be a sex symbol, but to be the #1 sex symbol of 2009 and constantly in my wildest dreams.

I don’t think there is any one reason why the masses find Megan Fox sexy but certainly her easy to read tattoos help. Some women have their sex appeal enhanced by tattoos while others turn to body piercings and silicone. I would estimate that 90% of a woman’s sex appeal she is born with and 10% comes from highlighting the natural 90% on the screen, in night clubs, on the beach and in blogs. The paparazzi and blogs have contributed in a big way to the popularity of the modern celebrity and “leaked” photos and sex tapes have become part of the hype building.Megan-Fox

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What is Twitter?


twitter-logoIt is pointless. It is fun. It is one line. It is real-time. It is emotion. It communicates. It connects followers. It has no leaders. It encourages cleverness. It is stupidness.  It is short. It is sweet. It is tweet. It encourages slackness. It condenses thought. It can be global. It can be local. It is the new order.  It hurts the head. It numbs the brain. It causes migraine. It kills spam. It is spam. It’s made by man. It informs. It misinforms. It promotes.  It is a craze. It is a maze. It  may stay. It may go. It shreds language. It is a new language. It passes time. It wastes time.  It is addictive. It is restrictive. It is vast. It is personal. It is public. It is sexy. It is loose. It bonds. It is low-fat. It is light. It is life. It cures lice. It kills mice. It has no ticks. It can play tricks. It never shaves. It never bathes. It talks back. It is not a cat.  It is freedom. It is jail. It cannot get bail. It can make love. It needs no protection.  It cannot glow in the dark. It cannot take out a shark.  It’s on a Blackberry. It’s not a cherry. It can vibrate. It is sometimes late. It can be great. It can start a war. It can be more.  It conquers all. It’s like talking to a wall.

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The Firing of a Journalist or The Cover up


THE PLAGIARISTI have been toying with ideas for a short story but haven’t been able to come up with many plots. I am new to short stories and only know about blog post, which is a type of writing that is inherently bad, in my case.

However, sometimes ideas hit you when you least expect it, like when looking for something to read in a newspaper that was once interesting and credible. At least that newspaper gave me an idea for a short story which might be called The Firing of a Journalist, or The Cover Up. I might even call it The Plagiarist:

Idea and for a short story – take 1:

An exceptionally talented and brilliant journalist of a popular daily newspaper discovers that a person who is about to be appointed a member of a commission to oversee integrity in a corrupt, banana republic is a serial plagiarist. The journalist confronts the prospective chairman with the accusation and the accused admits to plagiarizing – mainly because the evidence was very strong.  The accuser still goes ahead and accepts the post of chairman claiming he told his appointer about the plagiarizing and his appointer said “no big thing.”

The journalist realizes something is amiss and decides to go public with the information. For rather strange reasons, the owners of the newspaper the journalist works for warn the journalist about going public and threaten the journalist with dismissal or something similar. The journalist, a man of genuine integrity, refuses to keep silent because he understands the consequences of this silence, and a rival newspaper breaks the plagiarizing news. The public is horrified that such a person of high public standing can be appointed to a commission of integrity despite his appointer knowing about the plagiarism. The newly appointed chairman resigns a few days after his appointment citing some vague law and conveniently not the plagiarism. The journalist is dismissed by his employers because of his integrity. The public likens the newspaper to being pro-corruption, pro-bullying, pro-clique, pro-hypocrite.

Disclaimer:

Any resemblance of the above plot to actual events in any country is purely, and even sadly, coincidental.

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Pro Max Apologizes After Removing Speedo


jesterPro Max finally took off his Speedo that he wore the whole time he was on his Mediterranean cruise and got down to writing his subjects a sorry letter. Ever since he heard how the people who paid his salary, but did not elect him, were calling for his head while he was on vacation, he thought of ways to keep his job. It was the best job he ever had and he wanted to keep it so bad. He loved his job even more than the country since it allowed him to vacation at the country’s expense. Pro Max thought if he wrote a three-page “I am sorry” note that he didn’t plagiarize he could get people to believe he wasn’t stupid. Stupid people write blogs not apologize, he thought.

ps3-mushroom-clownPro decided he would send the note after The Enquiry start back since people cannot feel two sets of pain at the same time. Pro couldn’t understand why the people were calling for his head since every other institution in the country was falling apart. Was he being victimized, he wondered. Pro Max thought even though he looked like The Guilty, sounded like The Guilty, and quacked like The Guilty, he would be seen as The Innocent once he admitted to being human. If all else fails admit to being human, was his motto. Pro Max felt if he avoided major issues like plagiarism and promises and instead talked about the next time and systems all would be forgotten. After all, he was having fun in Europe and didn’t want to come back home.

tt-speedoPro Max would blame his blunders and dishonesty on a few scapegoats and claim it was the dawn of a new era and debate. People always liked to hear about new eras almost as much as they liked hearing about booms and aluminum. Pro wanted to say the sky was not falling but that would be plagiarism. To appear humble while being arrogant is what Pro Max really wanted to do. That, and to wine up on his subjects.

Pro Max finally finished his sorry note and signed it. He hoped  the people would understand that even though he never said it, he was a Party Man and the Party ain’t done yet.