Jack will be History in the Future


jack-goneOur local history textbooks of the very distant future will say how Jack Warner was a somewhat good man but misunderstood by tens of millions worldwide, including Andrew Jennings, Camini Marajh and a several investigators. Jack would be compared to Robin Hood even though he never shot an arrow or stole from any one person. He would be portrayed in some books as an urban legend, a mythical figure who the skeptical skeptics would say, despite photographs, political speeches and audit reports, never existed. Such kindness and cunning could never lie in the heart of the same man, they would say. The books will present scores of photos showing Jack handing over cheque after cheque to delighted people who worshiped him as a God with money.

History will say he was a man known for his willingness to build box drains for the poor and downtrodden. The books will acknowledge that despite his many flaws and law suits, he would eternally be known for his ability to listen to the problems of the frustrated on a weekly basis and act appropriately, unlike the other Members of Parliament who rose to legendary dignitary status after winning an election. Jack Warner will be known as a man who did some right but no wrong locally.

Like all urban legends, Jack will linger on minds of both the mindful and mindless. His parting would be seen to be an aborted reentry by his friends and backstabbers alike since the Prime Minister could no longer fake ignorance of one man’s deeds twice in one term.

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Steve Jobs 1955 – 2011


“No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don’t want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because death is very likely the single best invention of life. It is life’s change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new.”
Steve Jobs -Stanford University commencement speech, 2005

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CHOGM – So What!


The Prime Minister has asked me and the other citizens to be supportive of CHOGM (pronounced chewing gum) which might include no negative blogging or making fun of it. The Prime Minister has also asked me, along with other gullible citizens, to look out for foreign investments after CHOGM as investments might be so small we all have to keep our collective eyes open for it. Even if we don’t get CHOGM investments because of traffic, crime, flooding and school children regularly killing each other with 10-inch kitchen knives, we will be happier because of CHOGM starting Monday. Some citizens have already benefited from CHOGM with carefully orchestrated economic activity thrown their way. “Just get it now, I don’t want to know the price. The Queen  coming, and Sarkozy too” one organizer was heard whispering on the phone to a friend. “Sarco who? But anyway, it expensive” said the friend. “So what! You ever hear about the new property tax!” the organizer snickered.

The Queen and other major people will be coming for CHOGM but very few will drive on a traffic road or tour our shanty towns. Very few will meet a normal citizen or have any recollection of our country’s name after Sunday lunch. How can we benefit by the arrogant, head-laughing-stock flying in via jet from fifty something countries,  gathering under one roof to talk about polar ice and eat corn soup that was made in an aluminum pot.

Yes, most citizens still think CHOGM is a few-hundred-million dollar joke and will not benefit citizens in any way.  Most see CHOGM and the big flagpole as a drain on our scarce foreign exchange and the reason for the increased property tax.  Maybe most of the benefits of CHOGM will come in the not too distant future as the Treasury is confirmed empty and the Government increases another tax. Maybe the real benefits of CHOGM will be felt when the Government starts its final plunder for dollars to buy a private jet by attacking those once stable pension funds with their party-backers-financiers. “So what!”

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The Queen is Coming, No More Flooding!!


The Queen will be visiting Port of Spain and hoping not to have to battle with flood waters like a regular Citizen

The Queen will be visiting Port of Spain in November and hoping not to have to battle with flood waters like a regular Citizen

The Queen is coming, no more flooding!! Hip Hip Hooray!!

For years, neither bullying by PM PM nor cars covered by flood waters could get the Minister of Works and Concrete Barriers to clean the drains of Port of Spain.  It was almost as if The Minister would look down from his Ivory Tower and take perverse delight in seeing citizens pull up their skirts to cross the flooded roads.

But when the Minister heard on the BBC that Queen Elizabeth II was coming to Port of Spain and fearing his ass would be highlighted in the international press, he announced how, after years of looking, his Ministry suddenly found out what was blocking the drains of Port of Spain and it would be cleaned before the Queen arrives.  The Minister took the opportunity in a recent press conference to let citizens know he was doing it all for the The Queen.

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Producing Productivity in Trinidad and Tobago


productivity-chartProductivity – A country’s productivity is usually measured by the country’s GDP per hours worked.

GDP – Measuring GDP is complicated (which is why we leave it to the economists), but at its most basic, the calculation can be done in one of two ways: either by adding up what everyone earned in a year (income approach), or by adding up what everyone spent (expenditure method). Logically, both measures should arrive at roughly the same total. ~ Investopedia

Productivity isn’t everything but in the end it is almost everything. A country’s ability to improve its standard of living over time depends almost entirely on its ability to raise its output per worker. ~ Paul Krugman

Short skirts in the workplace has been shown to boost productivity by boosting attendance. ~ aka_lol

productivity cartoonPrime Minister Patrick Manning said the country’s productivity has been falling for the last five years and though I didn’t have the figures to prove it I had a gut feeling it was so since everybody I knew was either stuck in traffic or flood during productive times.  The Prime Minister is saying we citizens were being paid more and more over those five years but we produced less and less. I feel a sense of shame because of this. What The Prime Minister didn’t say was people were being paid more and more for one of several reasons –  to avoid starvation due to inflation, to go apartment shopping in Miami or to help win elections. The Prime Minister also said in his speech to launch the Productivity Council that citizens must work harder and come to work on time – the answers are always so simple.

productivitySo we need to produce more corn curls, Crix and painted stones (aka GDP) per man per hour.  How we in Trinidad and Tobago achieve more productivity will not be easy since UDECOTT is already spending efficiently and the new helicopters will produce more than just dust in we face. The Parliamentarians are taking the lead and agreed to a much deserved wage freeze but will produce more hot air in return. All these efforts must be commended but I am mostly hoping the 15-man Productivity Council has enough productive members to produce a productive report worth producing at a competitive price.

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Plot to Prevent the Prime Minister’s Workout


guardian

I first read about the Prime Minister’s one-year old death threat on Jumbie’s Watch and thought Jumbie had some inside information about the plot. But then I realized it was the time zone thing and Jumbie knows many things before we do. While we are dreaming about a night in the Hyatt Penthouse with a perfect lingerie model, Jumbie would be fuming mad about what is going on in sweet TnT. But I am like Jumbie and cannot keep it inside no more.

It seems our Papa wants the best of both worlds; the world of a living hero and that of an almost dead one. Papa is the Prime Minister so he must be telling the truth about the death-threat because to tell such a lie in that position of trust and perfect character would mean to misbehave and wine on public office. Some might argue he is making up the death threat because his current popularity is that of a toadstool, but he is the Prime Minister and should never be confused for a toadstool.

Filmed in Trinidad and Tobago in 2006 it also stars Gabrielle Walcott in a minor role

Filmed in Trinidad and Tobago in 2006 it also stars Gabrielle Walcott in a minor role

A death threat is a serious thing and I am sure it is still being investigated by The Hon Joseph in between crime plans. Strangely, no one has been arrested even though the Papa claims he knows which group likes him the least. This brings back memories of July 27th 1990 a momentous event and nightmare  only Papa and Bas could understand.

Because of the advance warning by a Good Samaritan and lack of witnesses to the event, Papa was able to live to see Obama and Chavez steal his thunder in his own country. Citizens don’t want the stress of worrying about who would be the next leader and Papa is always happy to help. How the intelligence services in the country did not pick up the death threat and had to wait for someone to carry news to the woman Papa  literally falls asleep with should be a matter of great concern. It is also of great concern that National Security helicopters and scores of police Jeeps did not find the those Inglourious Basterds who denied Papa a proper workout that morning.

This is now the plot of my first novel but I would have to list it under FICTION.

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