Why so long?

You, my average imaginary fan, must be wondering why I did not update this blog for so long. It has been five years and you probably thought that I was either dead or in prison. No such luck. I was not even depressed or ill and I didn’t update it due to boredom. Yes, blog boredom. It could be that social media allowed me to vent and disagree easier than a blog but I am not fed up with social media, or as our Prime Minister calls it, antisocial media. I agree with his description but in social media, if you want hate and destructive arguments then you will find it and too easily at times. I have blocked people, unfriend others and even taken down posts because it was causing turmoil among followers. Well, I am not here to lament social media too much but hope to restart my blog. Just wait and see if I can get into the habit again. TTYL

Rhine II – WTF!!

This 1999 photograph provided by Chrisitie's shows the Rhine river by German artist Andreas Gursky. Titled "Rhein II," the chromogenic color print face-mounted to acrylic glass was sold for $4.3 million Tuesday, Nov. 8, 2011, at Christie's in New York City, setting a record for any photograph sold at auction. (AP Photo/Christie's, Andreas Gursky)

WTF! exclaimed akalol. “$4.3 million US dollars for a photograph!”

I was not complain only surprised that someone paid so much money for a photograph in these uncertain economic times. I also wondered why this photo. Was it the camera – Pentax, Nikon, Canon, Olympus, or Sony that some like to pointlessly argue? Was it taken with film or digitally recorded on a super-fast Sansa SD card bought from Amazon? Was it a scene that can never be captured again? Did the Rhine evaporate since 1999? Was it the 81 x 140 inches size since size does matter despite claims by the unfortunate that it doesn’t? Would the answers to any of these questions affect the price? I doubt it. If the photo looked the same but was a picture of the Caroni River and not the Rhine would the photo even fetch a price? It might if the photographer was Andreas Grusky, photographer of Rhine II and who ” is widely regarded as one of the most important and influential photographers of his generation.” I never heard the name Grusky until this week but thanks to Google I found out he is quite famous despite never doing weddings.

All I can assume is that the photograph called Rhine II fetched that record price since it was considered “art” by those influential ones who know what art is, or at least pretend to know. Works of art are works of creativity and the photo above is creative to some and probably represents more than just bands of grass, road, grass, water, more grass and then dull sky. One can only assume this photo represents something very deep to the buyer and hopefully even the  photographer but to the average blogger, looking at this low quality small photo, it simply looks kind-ah-nice.

————————

Long before Anya Ayoung-Chee made Trinidad and Tobago proud for a third time, there was a Trinidad postage stamp from 1847 selling for around US$29,999.00. The stamp features the paddle steamer called the Lady McLeod which sailed between Port of Spain and San Fernando from 1845 to 1854. This rare stamp can be bought on eBay from a seller based in New York if you are interested in boosting your collection. Like all collectibles, its value is based on what collectors are willing to pay which is determined by how rare an item is and the condition of that item. The price of these collectibles are somewhat subjective but not as subjective as the price placed on works of art by those with money.

Related articles

• Andreas Gursky’s Rhine II photograph sells for $4.3m (guardian.co.uk)
• And Here’s the Most Expensive Photograph in the World (newsfeed.time.com)
• Photograph by Andreas Gursky breaks auction record (telegraph.co.uk)
• Last Night, This $4.3 Million Andreas Gursky Photograph Became the Most Expensive Ever Sold at Auction (towleroad.com)
• Most Expensive Photo in World (maboulette.wordpress.com)

Steve Jobs 1955 – 2011

“No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don’t want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because death is very likely the single best invention of life. It is life’s change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new.”
–Steve Jobs -Stanford University commencement speech, 2005

Oh, FoC

 

Fear is the enemy of logic ~ Frank Sinatra

Fear of Corruption (FoC) – pronounced eff.oh.see and not the way you are saying it – has taken over the country and if it is allowed to continue we will get nothing done but in an honest and transparent manner that will make everyone happy but miserable. Once FoC is allowed to go unchecked the not-so-hidden and personal agendas of sleazy news editors and Opposition cronies will take precedence over the good of the country. FoC is now too common in countries where millions and even billions were stolen by briefly trusted big boys of Government. Because of this trauma experienced by citizens, the replacement big boys are scrutinized by the public and the media with an even more powerful magnifying glass but regardless of the magnifying glass, those suffering from FoC will always see what they want to see and what they want to see is the misleading but attention-grabbing headlines of  those newspapers with plummeting readership as true.

Fear is contagious. You can catch it ~ Neil Ggaiman

People with FoC are usually unable to see the facts. It doesn’t matter what the money is being spent on or even if the transaction is as transparent as good quality see-through underwear. That is the way of the real world and it is a world of being damned if you do and damned if you don’t. So what should trusted public officials do to help reduce FoC? The only way I see that FoC can be reduced is by doing everything out in the open and doing it morning, noon and twice at night. Once that is done the public’s FoC will end.

Pressure Washing Away Trinidad and Tobago

The visible signs of success in Trinidad and Tobago used to be having a big foreign-used car, a thin cell phone and a plane ticket to Miami, but the list just got longer with the addition of the pressure washer. Almost every  household in Trinidad and Tobago now boast a pressure washer with nosy neighbors peeping into yards to see how much moss still resides in their neighbors’ driveways. Most citizens in Trinidad and Tobago consider household moss a serious condition and to some, a condition as serious as Government people awarding Government contracts to family members. Now, when neighbors meet the conversations always start with the new property tax but ends up with a discussion about how much PSI they get from their pressure washers and whether it is gas or electric from Bagwansingh’s. Neighbors with a gas pressure washer feel they have the advantage over those neighbors owning the electric variety since gas makes more impressive noises than the Blimp and  is just as useful in combating crime.

Pressure washers, especially gas washers, are as noisy as lawn mowers and it takes roughly eight hours to pressure wash one driveway and send four neighbors insane. Pressure washers are like cell phones and once you use it you are hooked – it’s like driveway porn. If it were possible for WASA to be disturbed I am sure they would be concerned by the popularity of the pressure washer and the way it uses water without sending up customers’ water bills. Unfortunately, WASA is yet to discover that meters are important in preventing whole day pressure washing episodes which is threatening to become a serious drain on the nation’s water like the Government is on the treasury. When people buy and use air conditioning, they pay T&TEC for the privilege, but when people pressure wash, only the moss and taxpayers pay.

What Trinidad is Famous For

Everybody knows that Trinidad and Tobago is the land of the cocrico, the humming bird and unproductive, billion-dollar mega-projects but how many know that Trinidad is also the land of the Traffic Light.

Let’s say you leave Port of Spain and enter Wrightson Road at Duke Street corner and would like to get to Arima via the Churchill Roosevelt Highway. Do you know you would meet no less than twenty traffic lights and a bridge under repairs for nearly a year due to typical Ministry of Works’ incompetence? Here is the list of these traffic lights:

1. Dock Road/Hyatt
2. Independence Square
3. Light House
4. Sea Lots
5. El Socorro
6. Aranguez
7. Uriah Butler
8. Bamboo/Labor College
9. Valsayn
10. Valpark
11. Kay Donna/Southern Main Road
12. UWI
13. Pasea
14. Macoya
15. Golden Orange Grove added to list 0n 7th October 2009
16. TrinCity
17. Golden Grove
18. Maloney
19. Mausica
20. Omera
21. Tumpuna

Is it any wonder the population is edgy and the slightest provocation by Government arrogance is met with angry headlines, editorials, blogs and Wade Mark? Is it any wonder we couldn’t care less about the UDECOTT Board and we don’t believe they are made up of people of integrity despite the fact they wear suits and some speak with peculiar accents.

We are a nation that takes too long to get anywhere and when we do get there we are met with No Parking signs, wreckers and gun-toting bandits who already have a sale for your car. Not only does the city flood with short clouds but the arrogant, pro-flood Mayor wants to ban wee-wee trucks. The population is fed up of the visionary who thought the entire population must work in the same tall buildings in the same cramped and waterlogged city plus get there at the same time without thinking about the reintroduction of hanging. The population is fed up of short-man syndrome policies that attack the people instead of help. We are a population that wants to stop fighting with our elected Government and selected President and start worrying about how much of the Heritage Fund will be used for conferences and bribes.

Some Women Would Rather go Naked

Dainty Kane would rather go naked

Some women would rather go naked than wear fur, eat KFC, or any formerly live creature because these human activities encourage cruelty to animals. Then there are the other women who would rather go naked for no real reason but yet there are those who never get naked under any conditions. I would suggest to all women if they have to go naked find a reason, it looks better on your résumé. The problem with the women who would rather go naked than encourage animal cruelty is that when they go naked people could miss the point. Yes, there would be quite a stir and people would be clicking photos like crazy at first but  after five minutes of nudity there is not much to see at the same angle and the point lost to boredom.  A clothed woman is more exciting than a constantly naked one but only if clothed scandalously in a short skirt. So nudity can make a strong point but like industrial pollution, it must not be done for long periods.

Khloe Kardashian would rather go naked

I am both an animal lover and a staunch supporter of well shaped, female nudity so I can identify both with the cause and the need. These PETA ads are not always met with enthusiasm and some even describe these PETA ads as soft porn – it could even be as hard as porn would get in some of the more religious countries. As I argued before,  nudity is an extreme tool used by PETA to create awareness of an extreme problem. We are a hard headed, selfish animal. Nudity is such a powerful tool it could even be used in political ads to win votes  saying “I would go naked if you vote for ___.

Stop The Bull

I heard somewhere that if all the insects in the world were to die there will be no life on the planet in 50 years. On the other hand, if human life were to cease, life on the planet will flourish in 50 years. I assume that would be due to the lack of the need for aluminum and fur. I think humans are self-centered which helped us survive and build so many polluting factories. Our self-made importance is good for survival of the human species but it has made mad and delusional men out of quite a few, the meat eaters and politicians, mainly. We, humans, have to approach the next few years with caution, being careful not to destroy our environment, which has been able to sustain our life and National Geographic so far. We must be careful not to assume we are the only living creatures that matter and the suffering and killing of animals for our needs somehow is not what we would want to promote as one of the best parts of being human. Man should be intelligent enough to know where the buck stops and how much clothes or cabbage a woman should wear to make a point.

Playmate Jayde Nicole Goes Veggie Dog

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• PETA Targets Ringling Bros. Game [Protest] (kotaku.com)
• Twitter does not deserve a Nobel Peace Prize! (sylwiapresley.wordpress.com)
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Playing FLAC not MP3

In a verbal statement about the death of Michael Jackson, US President Barack Obama said “I still have all his stuff on my iPod.”  So, I was wondering if iPod sales shot up after the announcement or did he mean MP3 player. People use a popular household brand name to refer to a type of product because that brand has been the leader for years. For example, people in Trinidad and Tobago say Crix when they mean cracker, Coke when they mean Pepsi, Trojan when they mean condom and Manning after they are sc…

Apple and Steve Jobs did a fantastic job in making the iPod the brand that it is today and the only people who don’t have real iPods are those who are either too hungry or too oppressed. When Barack Obama said iPod I am sure he meant iPod and not Zune, Sansa, Creative or a made-in-China black box. In the US, everybody who is anybody young at heart has the iPod brand MP3 player loaded with every song they and their friends ever thought they heard.  That doesn’t mean other brands of MP3 players are not good and I think many non-iPod MP3 players are worth buying. But in the real world, brand is everything and I am sure 9,999 out of 10,000 people buy the BMW brand to look important and not for its assumed superior shock absorber or girl-catching technology.

There is one item I recently added to my wish list along with Megan Fox, and that is the Cowon S9 16 GB Video/MP3 Player. Like Megan Fox, the S9 is fun to look at but unlike Megan Fox, has a touch-screen. The Cowon S9 plays MP3 and video files but its main attraction for me is that it also plays FLAC (Free Lossless Audio Codec). FLAC is lossless and MP3 is lossy so, to put it simply, I find FLAC sounds better than MP3 and I want my CD collection to sound as good as it should. Unfortunately, iPods do not support FLAC but the S9, which comes highly recommended by smart people, does. Right now, I listen to my FLAC files on my PC using the free MediaMonkey since the free version of Winamp doesn’t play FLAC.  The modern world has taught me that the ability to listen to music where ever and whenever we want is a new human right and that is why I must get an S9; I don’t want to oppress myself.

What is Twitter?

It is pointless. It is fun. It is one line. It is real-time. It is emotion. It communicates. It connects followers. It has no leaders. It encourages cleverness. It is stupidness.  It is short. It is sweet. It is tweet. It encourages slackness. It condenses thought. It can be global. It can be local. It is the new order.  It hurts the head. It numbs the brain. It causes migraine. It kills spam. It is spam. It’s made by man. It informs. It misinforms. It promotes.  It is a craze. It is a maze. It  may stay. It may go. It shreds language. It is a new language. It passes time. It wastes time.  It is addictive. It is restrictive. It is vast. It is personal. It is public. It is sexy. It is loose. It bonds. It is low-fat. It is light. It is life. It cures lice. It kills mice. It has no ticks. It can play tricks. It never shaves. It never bathes. It talks back. It is not a cat.  It is freedom. It is jail. It cannot get bail. It can make love. It needs no protection.  It cannot glow in the dark. It cannot take out a shark.  It’s on a Blackberry. It’s not a cherry. It can vibrate. It is sometimes late. It can be great. It can start a war. It can be more.  It conquers all. It’s like talking to a wall.

Discrimination Based on Beauty

I am here for the interview - when can I start

There is a picture of a pretty girl on the front page of the job section in a newspaper today. This girl will be employed at the drop of a feather and it doesn’t matter how padded her resume is, or how well she blows her interview.

Pretty girls are always employed before plain looking ones and you only have to look around most offices to prove this. Hundreds of papers and articles on beauty discrimination  have been written by mainly not so good looking women. These jilted women are crying discrimination and are calling for a level playing field and not a big chest. Psychologist claim the bias towards beauty is caused by the halo effect where beauty is automatically associated with intelligence, competence and a good time. “Never underestimate the ‘halo effect,'” says Janice Guler, Ceridian’s director of staffing. “Attractive people are assumed to be intelligent and successful, and it’s been said that as many as 50 percent of managers make their hiring decisions within the first 30 seconds of setting eyes on an applicant. While this is unfortunate, it’s human nature. People have a real tendency to trust their gut, rather than trusting the empirical data.” But less attractive women are also employed since somebody has to do the work and do it well. The less attractive is normally the engine that runs successful companies but the beautiful are always more fun to have around.

An after work Friday lime with the boss

Some employers facing beauty-discrimination lawsuits are training their managers in the art of  ignoring beauty but short skirts and tight tops are proving hard to defeat. HR Departments are making interviewers aware of  beauty bias but some managers insist life is too short to go ugly.

It’s unfair to ask pretty girls to be attractive, and to strut their stuff from desk, to copier, to the boss’s desk plus do work. It is just too stressful and the last thing anybody wants to do is to stress the beautiful. It’s almost a sin. I am not saying pretty girls are not competent but nobody notices or cares. That is probably another curse of the beautiful.

Tagged But Not Frgotten – My Meaningful Life

Once again I, aka_lol, have been the subject of a vicious tag for reasons that should be obvious to those who know me , those who admire me, and those who have expressed great indifference to my very existence and blog.  After much deliberation and forgetfulness I decided to respond to the tag from Girlblue because my charm, cunning, occasional intelligence, and boundless humility prevents me from doing otherwise. Here is my list of over twenty  interesting and/or little know things about me:

1. Believes the camera is the best macocious device ever invented
2. Is a music lover – all styles, all genres, all countries of origin, all peer to peer sources
3. Is an animal lover except for snakes even though their tongues are the envy of every man
4. Lucky number is 69
5. Once had to adopt the crash landing position on a flight
6. Never lost luggage or missed a flight
7. Been to Portugal once
8. Never ate sushi and doesn’t need oysters
9. Doesn’t want to be envied or admired out of bed
10. Loves to be physically active
11. Never had a love affair with alcohol or fruit cake
12. Loves being misunderstood
13. Is misunderstood
14. Never swears unless driving and even then in a very muffled and unintelligible voice.
15. Once applied for sainthood but had my application rejected during the first evaluation stage when a $100 bill was discovered cleverly stapled to the back of the application form
16. Thinks more problems can be solved with sarcasm than compassion
17. Thinks the world will be a peaceful place when there is nothing to die for
18. Would much prefer to see through women’s clothes that see through women
19. Loves the ambiguity of the spoken word e.g. “She wanted to get ahead”
20. Is hardly ever serious
22. Can be forgetful

Life is Blog

Pigeon Point

Blogging has taken the world by storm and changed the way we mumble to ourselves. Blogging can be described as photography in words. Like good photographs, blogs are more interesting when the subject is revealing, the composition is clever, and the exposure just right. Blogging is a way in which we let the world know we exist and are pissed off at that point in time. It is our way of speaking to ourselves so that others can hear if they want. It is our own private radio station.

Not being able to write a proper sentence has never stopped someone from saying something, and being understood. Why should it? We are not prime time but one of the countless billions of stars talking at the same time hoping a radio telescope somewhere will call us random and intelligent. But just because the radio telescope didn’t focus on us doesn’t mean we do not exist or our ramblings are meaningless.

In hindsight it seems blogging is an inevitable part of our evolution since one characteristic of being alive is to be noticed in as many ways possible. The more ways we express ourselves the more alive we feel and the less we feel like a Dinner Mint wrapper – useful until the sweetie is sucked. A blog is now like a cell phone and everybody has more than one. In the future, blogs will replace obituaries, and it will be our main legacy until something better comes along.

The Illusions of Life

The Young Lady and The Old Woman

An optical illusion is characterized by visually perceived images that differ from objective reality. Not everything is what it seems and you only have to look long enough and sometimes hard enough to  see something else. It is well accepted that people’s perception of themselves is not how others see them. For example, a politician sees himself as smooth, intelligent and caring while the population sees him as a lying, heartless, crook who should be in no less an institution than a maximum security prison.

Everything and everybody is not what it or they first appear to be and politicians are the best example of this. Another example is a  beautiful girl since she may not necessarily be as good as she looks but, with a little luck, she would be actually quite bad. The one thing the human mind is adept at is ignoring facts and going along with what they want to believe. It takes a great effort for someone to even want to examine the facts of a situation because the facts may destroy a comfortable illusion. But ignoring facts don’t make them any less true.  Some truths are nearly impossible to prove and to date no one has been able to prove there are no restaurants at the end of the universe or that humans are an intelligent life form.

I don’t have any advice to people whose minds are happy in their illusionary comfort zone and maybe we all need to achieve that level of comfort even if it is just an illusion. Perhaps the secret of life is finding your comforting illusion and then living it to the very end. However, I am not content with illusions even if they appear comforting since illusions can be fragile and can break when challenged by the truth.Time is better spent with things that don’t break and not with things we pretend to be unbreakable.

If something cannot be questioned it is probably just an illusion.

Movie Taglines – The Untold Story…So Far

Tagline: The best thing about this movie is no longer the trailer; it’s the tagline ~ As seen on a poster for the movie by the strange name – This Beach Called Life – The Movie

I have always been fascinated by movie taglines and I hope I am not alone. According to marketing literature, a movie tagline is a branding slogan or memorable phrase, produced by overpaid marketing departments, which reflect the tone of the movie, for example, An Adventure 65 Million Years In The Making ~ Jurassic Park or If you haven’t held her, how do you know it’s real ~ 56k. These taglines are smart and truthful hence memorable. Some taglines have even become part of pop culture – To boldly go where no man has gone before ~ Star Trek or Houston, we have a problem ~ Apollo 13. But not all taglines are fully understood until you see the movie – Grease is the word ~ Grease or The classic story about a boy and his mother ~ Psycho. Eventually, despite being paid with large paychecks, SUVs and women and men in bikinis, the best in the business comes up with this – We’ve Sensed It. We’ve Seen The Signs. Now… It’s Happening ~ The Happening.

A successful movie tagline doesn’t necessarily mean a movie will be successful and some of the best taglines have come from the most forgettable movies – It took them twenty years to fall in love at first sight ~ ‘Til there was you and A comedy about life and other terminal conditions ~ Two Thousand and None. So it seems taglines may be inspired by movies but if they are any good, can be a branding slogan for life – You’ll laugh. You’ll cry. You’ll hurl ~ Wayne’s World

Anyway, in keeping with the best season for movies, but not necessarily the season for the best movies or taglines, I have compiled a list of my favorite taglines in random disorder.

• This time they’re running from the joint. Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay
• The Coast Is Toast Volcano
• The movie too HOT for words! Some Like It Hot
• His Karma is Huge The Love Guru
• Good girls want him bad. Bad girls want him worse. Cry-Baby
• Sex. Clothes. Popularity. Is there a problem here? Clueless
• If at first you don’t succeed, lower your standards. Tommy Boy
• Do you like fish? Well, he likes you too…Jaws
• Happy Halloween! Halloween
• Watch your head! Sleepy Hollow
• Nice planet. We’ll take it! Mars Attacks!
• It’s Happening. Signs
• In space no one can hear you scream. Alien
• The strangest story ever conceived by man. King Kong
• The Devil Inside. The Exorcist
• How much can you know about yourself if you’ve never been in a fight? Fight Club
• In a world of 1s and 0s…are you a zero, or The One? The Matrix
• He’s having the worst day of his life… over, and over…Groundhog Day
• Not every gift is a blessing. The Sixth Sense
• The Story That Won’t Go Away. JFK
• The truth is always in the last place you look. The Usual Suspects
• Don’t Breathe. Don’t Look Back. Twister
• Life can be a comedy or a tragedy; it all depends on how you look at it. Melinda and Melinda
• …Everything You’ve Heard Is True. Amadeus
• For Three Men The Civil War Wasn’t Hell. It Was Practice! The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly
• He charges $10 but he’s willing to negotiate. Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo
• A killer comedy. Scary Movie
• I already forget how I used to feel about you. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
• From the brother of the director of Ghost. Naked Gun 33 1/3: The Final Insult
• No actual Europeans were harmed in the making of this film. EuroTrip
• He’s out to prove he’s got nothing to prove. Napoleon Dynamite
• These women are serious about their taste in men. Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death

Everything You Wanted to Know About aka but Couldn’t Find in Wikipedia

I have been tagged again by Fiery Heart, Agile Mind, Nimble Fingers

Last Movie You Saw In A Theater:
The Bank Job – A British movie that tells the true story about British royalty blackmail and its murderous Trinidad connection during the seventies.

What Book Are You Reading:
I Was Told There Would Be Cake – Sloane Corsley is currently being prepared to be read by being dusted and admired.

Favorite Board Game:
Chess spelt with one less ‘s’ and one more ‘t’…but that’s something I play when bored. I like Monopoly and Snakes and Ladders wasn’t too bad.

Favourite Magazine:
Not one I would leave lying around the house.

Favorite Smells:
WD-40 – just a dab behind the ear would do. The smell of rain, freshly baked buns, aviation fuel.

Favorite Sound:
Early Sunday morning.

Worst Feeling In The World:
A negative tax return. The wrong American Idol winning.

Favorite Fast Food Place:
Not the Arabian Fast Food Joint from Hell

Future Child’s Name:
Either Nikon or Pentax but I won’t exclude Cannon.

Finish This Statement. “If I Had A Lot Of Money I’d…”
…give people who are hungry the food they need but show them posters of overweight people and convince them the wrong carbs are their worse enemy.

Do You Drive Fast?
Only when I am speeding.

Do You Sleep With A Stuffed Animal?
I would much rather sleep with a stuffed animal than a hungry one.

Storms-Cool Or Scary
Cool if in a movie, scary when your roof starts to take wings.

What Was Your First Car?
An old Toyota that caused governments to look at air pollution regulations again.

Favourite drink:
I almost don’t drink alcohol but Sex on the Beach has potential to be a favorite.

Finish This Statement, “If I Had The Time I Would …..”
blog more, write books, hunt down terrorist, find humming birds to photograph

Do You Eat The Stems On Broccoli?
Life is too short

If You Could Dye Your Hair Any Color, What Would Be Your Choice?
I wouldn’t change it for the world but the world does have a lot of problems.

Name All The Different Cities/Towns You Have Lived In.
St. Augustine for almost all my life and Stafford for three months.

Favorite Sports To Watch:
Women’s Strip Poker and Wet Tee-Shirt competitions

One Nice Thing About The Person Who Sent This To You:
Is that she lives on the Planet Earth and not just in some country.

What’s Under Your Bed?
The last person who asked me that 😉

Would You Like To Be Born As Yourself Again?
Yes, please.

Morning Person Or Night Owl?
Early morning to mid noon.

Over Easy Or Sunny Side Up?
Sunny side up if I am making it and scrambled when not.

Favorite Place To Relax:
On the beach.

Favorite Pie:
I don’t have a favorite and that must be abnormal.

Favorite Ice Cream Flavor:
I risk my life by saying this but I don’t like ice cream.

Life on Mars and Halle Berry

Not only was there life on Mars, but also a writer’s union strike and canceled TV shows for the next season. Scientist on Earth hoped that life on Mars would have shed more light on the origins of life and male pattern baldness but this did not happen as hardcover copies of Cosmos by Carl Sagan and Rogain were found to be the only bestsellers on Mars for hundreds of years. Life on Mars was dreary and unfair like it was on Earth except that their United States hardly bought anything from their China other than mosquito coils, oyster sauce and rice noodles. Like Earth, Mars had its fair share of corrupt public officials and morons who roamed the planet trying to get votes.

Martians had similar traits to Earthlings and they both often complained about potholes on the roads. Martians also burnt tires so that the smoke signals could alert road officials and low orbiting spacecraft exactly where the road craters were located. On Mars, there were no tsunamis or bubble baths since there was no water due to slack management of the Martian Water Authority. The land prices on Mars shifted uncontrollably because sand storms often shifted land location. There was very little change in red being the favorite color of Mars but on Earth the color concrete became the color of choice and green became an artificial color. Martians did not need passports to travel within their planet and it was only required for entry into the US. The most popular movies on Mars were sci-fi movies where Earthlings were shown to be creatures destroying planet Earth and fellow Earthlings for unbelievable reasons. Martian suicide bombings became a thing of the past on Mars after Martians discovered that Heaven was a place on Earth.

Martians thought that the Earthling String Bikini was too modest since Martians, like Venusians and porn stars, never wore clothes except when under a mosquito or paparazzi attack. Though Martians did not learn anything earth shattering from Earthlings, but they did like Earth beaches of the Caribbean, Halle Berry, and this blog.