Provocative angles and overall sexiness – Part 1

Here are some “provocative angles and overall sexiness” which some deem sexist but others who know better, enjoy.

Stephanie Rice – How to look good in a bikini

Stephanie Rice looks fantastic in this photo she recently posted on Twitter

Here we go again, judging a woman’s character as unsavory simply because she looks good in a bikini and let the world know. Stephanie Rice is an Australian swimmer and a triple Olympic Champion world record holder. She looks amazing in bikinis.

As expected, some people are making a fuss about the photo (above) which she recently posted on twitter because they say “the bikini is too racy and brings the Australian swim team into disrepute.”  I am certainly not offended by the photo and find the bikini racy enough. Some people are always pretentiously offended by anything sexy and would prefer if all women wear several bolts of cloth 24-7. This type of controversy will not go away anytime soon. I am now truly encouraged that the Olympics, which starts next month in London, might not be as boring as all the other Olympics. Some say she did it for attention and I say I hope so, for the Olympics sake. There are reports that one of her sponsors, Speedo, might be concerned about the posted photo but I think they might be secretly delighted she has the looks.  I want to suggest that other female athletes who have appropriate bodies, post photos of themselves in bikinis as a way of improving the TV ratings of the Olympics, and to encourage more females to take up sports as a lucrative career as opposed to crowded and boring fields like hairdressing, lingerie modeling, accounting, medicine and law.

Stephanie Rice up close

 

Related articles

• Australian Swimmer Stephanie Rice Tweets Racy Picture, Sparks Controversy (Photo) (nesn.com)

JLo – Behind the Sexy

JLo - closeup

JLo, aka Jennifer Lynn Lopez, according to Wikipedia and my memory, is an American singer, actress, dancer, television producer, television personality, fashion designer, a mother, a perfume, Mark Anthony’s soon-to-be ex wife and still a sex symbol. I use the word still because nobody remains a sex symbol all their life but because JLo is only 42 years old, she may have a few years of  mass-appeal sexiness in her yet as silicon technology and Madonna make enormous strides.

Like any multitalented sex symbols, JLo is loved by many men and hated by nearly as many women who think she is not only overrated but also one of the key females whose shapely image enters the mind of their male companion during sex and waking hours.

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I am not sure why this is called a catsuit since I have never seen a cat in these suits.

JLo in a catsuit

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JLo in a sexy trademark pose

JLo - sexy trademark pose

JLo - a recent shot

JLo cannot be left behind

Related articles

• JLo – Behind the Sexy (akalol.wordpress.com)
• Fit’s Hits: From Greek Yogurt to JLo’s Legs (fitsugar.com)
• JLo Is Dressed to the Nines and Honored For Her Beauty (popsugar.com)
• J.Lo Sexes Up Sin City (lukewilliamss.wordpress.com)
• J.Lo Shoots In The Sunshine State With Jason Statham (lukewilliamss.wordpress.com)
• Marc Anthony tried to control J.Lo’s wardrobe (today.msnbc.msn.com)

Cameron Diaz – The Legs

Cameron Diaz making men happy

Whether Cameron Diaz’s new movie, “Bad Teacher,” is any good is irrelevant since at 38 years old, she displays legs most women at any age wished they had and also most men wished they had access to. Scientists have been explaining many things that have mystified us over the years such as why people get fat when they eat too much delicious chocolate cake from Linda’s Bakery but are yet to figure out why tall women wearing tight-fitting, rolled-up-a-bit-too-much-but-not-enough denim shorts and displaying legs shaped by frequent and intense workouts at the gym cause men to not only be happy in the right way but also to want to be happier. Some women will argue that it’s not how a woman looks but what she has up there but I, as a man, will argue that it’s what she has down there that attracts men in a very decisive way. But attracting men decisively is not the aim of many women and that was just the real man in me talking again. Unfortunately, I can’t review the movie since it hasn’t been released but I can say I will buy the poster featuring Cameron doing her bit for world happiness.

p.s. – the tag-line for the movie, “Bad Teacher” – She doesn’t give an “F”

Car washing is sometimes a spectator sport

Serena Williams’ Sexy New Video Game Ad Pulled

Serena Williams Top Spin

A good ad agency knows what will offend the pretentious so it is not surprising that this Serena Williams ad for the video game Top Spin was considered “too risqué for television.” That television would be American TV and obviously not Trinidad and Tobago TV which is accustomed to showing all forms of gyrations without even breaking a sweat or receiving a complaint except that the video was too short, or the skirt too long.

The Top Spin ad, I suppose,stressed too much on  the behind the scenes attractions of tennis instead of the boring part of the game which is as bland as dry toast in prison.  I admire the ad agency not only for a well made video that holds the attention as much as anything on Playboy TV but in also understanding that to offend is sometimes necessary to succeed in a world where commercial success is usually driven by sex.

Related articles

• Serena Williams’ Sexy New Video Game Ad Pulled (akalol.wordpress.com)
• Serena Williams 2K Sports Commercial: Too Sexy for TV? (thehollywoodgossip.com)
• “Serena williams new commercial for a video game” and related posts (hiphopgalaxy.com)
• Banned Serena Williams Video Game Ad – Rated ‘Too Sexy'[Video] (urbanmogullife.com)
• Racy Serena Williams commercial won’t appear on TV – Busted Racquet – Tennis Blog – Yahoo! Sports (lucindaviewofthenews.wordpress.com)
• Wake Up Call: Racy Serena Williams video game ad is pulled (offthebench.nbcsports.com)
• Serena Williams Video Game Commercial Deemed Too Sexy for TV (shoppingblog.com)

What Makes a Woman Sexy Besides Breasts

G-String or Thong as seen in Wikipedia - Tingly sensations will follow

Every man knows a sexy woman when he sees one but may not know why he finds her hot, thinking it’s just breasts again or that dental floss g-string. Those feelings which a man gets that tells him a woman is desirable are biological and beyond his desire to control. It’s not a g-string clothed butt in isolation which triggers a man’s excitement but  a part of the man’s brain which is used for, of all things, CXC maths exams to work out ratios.

Sexy at Maracas Bay - Trinidad

When a man sees a woman with an exposed navel the ratio-lobe in his brain subconsciously and accurately does the following math:  – ground to navel distance (including stilettos) divided by the navel to top of head distance (including hair piece and/or tiara). If that ratio works out to be approximately 1.6180339887 the woman is classified as sexy and the man’s brain quickly sends those tingly, sexy sensations to the appropriate male areas of the body. The male brain, being sex driven and little else, becomes happy and records in the back of his mind the image of that sexy woman for later use. A woman with the right ratios alone doesn’t make sexy and when she turns around so that the man’s eyes can finally see the woman’s face, a similar computation is done using the distance between the woman’s eyes and the length of the nose, length of smile, twist of the teeth and pimple placement. This facial calculation determines beauty, a part of sexiness.  This concept of total mathematical sexiness gave rise to the popular saying “She looked good until I did the math.”

Trinidad and Tobago Sexy - thanks mayarobeach.com

Fortunately, most men do not find a perfect female body to be the only form of sexiness and there are as many variations as there are short skirts and low-cut tops. To describe all these variations is beyond the scope of this blog post and author’s intelligence. However, there is one form of sexiness that hasn’t been analyzed mathematically and only empirically and that is the roll of the hips by a woman when walking towards or away from a man on either a normal work day or Carnival days. That hip roll, sway, gyration or wine can easily fill a man’s head with stimulating thoughts for days. Because most people realize how important the female hip roll is to world population growth, belly dancers and our local winer guls are held in high esteem in all countries. The term belly dancer is really a misnomer and to be a good belly dancer a woman should not have much of a belly but  be a slave to the gym, low-calorie diets and waxing warm.

Maxim Models

Maxim is a magazine for men containing women but not just any women but women who are role models for other women. Maxim models are famous for knowing many things, especially how to bend for the camera. This feat of bending while starving to stay slim has earned them more money in a day than the average male spends on beer in a lifetime. The women who have been lucky enough to have made it to Maxim are a combination of celebrities and those girls in the gym next door.

There is something about being adored by millions of men every month, which attracts attractive women to want to pose for Maxim. Maxim is not like Playboy so it doesn’t encourage magazine nudity in most countries. Maxim magazine is now published in the US, UK, Argentina, Chile, Brazil, India, Germany, Bulgaria, Greece, Italy, Korea, Mexico, Indonesia, Israel, Belgium, Romania, the Czech Republic, France, Netherlands, Poland, Russia, Serbia, the Philippines, Singapore, Spain, Thailand, Ukraine, and Portugal. The women’s equivalent to Maxim is probably Better Homes and Gardens.

Men all over the world are the same and are attracted to the shape of shapely women. Maxim provides men with all the information they can understand about women in pictures. Maxim speaks the universal male language known as sexy in most countries and hotness in others. Some women consider the male obsession with looking and drooling over nearly nude, sexy women to be disgusting but most men are quite happy with this.

I doubt there will be a Maxim Trinidad and Tobago because local men don’t spend money on women on paper. We prefer the real women though that can also cost paper.

Mandira Bedi

Mandira Bedi

Rihanna

Alice Goodwin and Bianca Knight

Amrita Rao

Bar Refaeli

Charlize Theron

Maxim Models Sexy Wallpaper

Maxim India audition

Maxim Model

Maxim Model

Olga Kurylenko

Priyanka Chopra

Rihanna

Maxim Girls

Freida Pinto

Megan Fox Sexy, Sexy Superbowl Ad

I said this before and I will say this again, sexy girls are the number one cause of  havoc and happiness in the average man’s life.

Megan Fox looks so hot in bubbles I am willing to exchange my Blackberry for the Motorola whatever. These ad people knew their investment of around US$2.3 million for one 30-second spot and thousands of YouTube views was money well spent.

Ad hides Megan Fox’s imperfection, which apparently is a big thing

Megan Fox - The Back

Why Golf Makes Men Horny

After hearing the language of golf, it is not surprising that Tiger Woods probably felt a little horny after a day on the field. Golf  to the uninitiated may look like a dead man’s sport but it is anything but. It is a game for gentlemen and women who have moved up the social ladder so can no longer get turned on using crude and direct sexual statements in public. The upper and better people are still human and need sex as much as the lower ones and sometimes in kinkier ways because they can afford it.  Golf is really a game of sex and just by looking at the positions the female adopts during the game makes me feel it should be removed from public TV along with women’s beach volleyball and bikini mud wresteling. Let’s keep TV clean.

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Here is a joke circulating on the Internet which puts golf in its rightful place.

Why Golf is a Horny Game:

1. Look at the size of his putter.
2. Oh, dang, my shaft’s all bent.
3. You really whacked the hell out of that sucker.
4. After 18 holes I can barely walk.
5. My hands are so sweaty I can’t get a good grip.
6. Lift your head and spread your legs.
7. You have a nice stroke, but your follow through leaves a lot to be desired.
8. Just turn your back and drop it.
9. Hold up. I’ve got to wash my balls.
10. Damn, I missed the hole again.

The Ultimate Gift Giving Guide by aka_lol – Part 1

When it comes to giving gifts the concept of it is the thought that counts is crap. That idea has outlived its usefulness since the Trojans and in today’s materialistic world, money is much better than making love. Thoughts come easy and to some, a little too easy that is why when it comes to giving, nobody really cares what you think. But even with money and Amazon reviews, choosing the right gift can be a problem and it’s still too easy to buy expensive junk because China commissions one coal-fired power station every week to supply electricity to factories making Christmas gifts for the world. Since advice on gift buying at Christmas time is as useful as a smashed car windscreen, I decided to add my advice to the list.

FOR YOUR MAN

For the man who has everything including an ornamental girlfriend or wife, I would recommend the Leica S-System’s Interchangeable Lens Camera with 3 inch LCD with Sapphire LCD Cover Glass and Platinum Service Package. If your man thinks he is serious about photography and has outgrown making sex tapes, then the Leica S2, which can be pre-ordered at Amazon for US$27, 995 plus shipping, is the gift to get. Naturally, you will have to order a lens or lenses separately and prices range from around US$5,000 to God knows how much. Always remember, if you give a Leica S2 with lens, hopefully you won’t have to give much else until Boxing Day at night.

FOR YOUR WOMAN

For the Woman who is anxious to please you instead of cook and clean,  there is not much to think about. Instead of giving the woman in your life a reason to chase after you with a golf club in the wee hours of the morning because you transgressed with a cocktail waitress,  I recommend  something that can be used to prevent, or minimize further transgressions – the Victoria Secret Sexy Little Things® NEW! Lace-up thong. It looks like, and sells for next to nothing so you will not regret it as it is also easy to wrap and stuff in your back pocket in cases of emergency.

Noriko Sakai – No Prison, Please

The popular singer, Noriko Sakai, became a celebrity in Japan in 1987 when she was almost sixteen, after releasing the hit song, Otoko no Ko ni Naritai. She was, or is, very popular in Japan,  Hong Kong and Taiwan but strangely, almost unheard of in Trinidad and Tobago.   She was famous not only for her singing but her squeaky clean, girl-next-door image. Because of her popularity and high public expectations, she later went into acting and probably mild stimulant drug use.

In August this year the shock turned to horror when her husband was arrested for possession of illegal stimulants and Noriko disappeared, apparently she was on the run. When Noriko reappeared she was charged with possession of illegal drugs, a stimulant, a whopping 0.0008 grams of it which police found at her home. Noriko Sakai pleaded guilty to using and possessing the illegal drug. Prosecutors said they want an 18-month prison term for Noriko since she is a celebrity and setting a bad example for the public. The court’s decision is scheduled for November 9.

I am not too sure, but from what I have read so far I think the Japanese press went after Noriko after she was seen with a sexy tattoo on her ankle. A tattoo on a woman’s ankle is usually a sign which says “bad but exciting girl above.”

Noriko’s wants leniency and now intends to get a divorce from her trouble-making husband and she also wants to study nursing care in the future. A tearful Noriko was quoted as saying “I have a tendency to try too hard to live up to others’ expectations of me. I thought (stimulants) would help me move my body. … I used the drugs of my own will. … I am the one to blame.”

Here is what I think. Noriko Sakai should not go to jail since she already paid her dues to the society by losing face. Losing face is a big thing in Japan but the concept is quite alien to Trinidad and Tobago’s bad-john and big foreign bank account holding politicians. Noriko Sakai should not go to jail because she is too pretty for prison. How will keeping Noriko Sakai in jail for 18 months make society a better place. It’s not like she knocked a member of the public unconscious because the member spilled a drink or wine up on one of Noriko’s friends.  I can’t possibly see any judge looking at Noriko’s pretty face and sending her to jail. I don’t know much about Japanese legal traditions, but even the most heartless woman judge could see the folly in sending a celebrity this pretty to jail for a crime that is quite common in the manmade celebrity world.

UPDATE:

Suspended Jail Term For Noriko Sakai

Zombieland – A Really Good Pro-Twinkie Movie

Zombieland Poster

As the name suggests, the movie Zombieland is a profound, horror-comedy, love story gone right. Zombieland is filled with flesh-eating humor minus the nudity which is the best recipe for attracting young people to the cinema, a people who would rather be shocked into laughter than think. Zombieland reminds me of Drag Me To Hell, another excellent, comedy-horror flick that probably has a deep message hidden within the special effects. However, the message in Zombieland is upfront, and that message is this; take time conquer your fears so that you can enjoy the edible things in life like a fresh Twinkie or a bad girl. Though, Zombieland is not Jennifer’s Body, I prefer Megan Fox in a short skirt than Wichita in a tight jeans. Sexy is in the eyes of the blogger.

Jennifer's Body is Hot

Sexiest Women Alive, Really

Kate Beckinsale

Kate Beckinsale is Esquire Magazine’s new Sexiest Woman Alive. I don’t disagree or agree since sexy is as subjective as the selection of Miss Universe or Cabinet Ministers. Kate Beckinsale is 36 years old and her age did not work against her selection.  To be sexy at 21 is no big deal but to be sexy at 36 might require talent and plastic surgery. I suppose Kate Beckinsale was up against the girl Rolling Stone Magazine is calling America’s Sexiest Bad Girl, Megan Fox, who is reportedly prone to temper tantrums and tattoos, both sexy traits that men look for in future girlfriends and wives. Mrs Fox also reportedly said that she wasn’t born with a special vagina.

Megan Fox is Bad

No doubt, Kate Beckinsale was also up against the perennial Halle Berry, Scarlett Johansson, Angelina Jolie and Beyoncé Giselle Knowles so her win is not a sham. But sexy is not only for the famous who show ample amounts of leg to the public, it is for the commoner. If you take a walk down the streets of any big city not suffering from inhibitions and fear you would see many sexy women who could compete with the best fame has to offer. But like tight jeans, short skirts and visible underwear, fame and hype amplifies sexiness. Sexiness means money and is used by the entertainment industry to give value to the lives of celebrities. It can be said that sexiness is what celebrities start with and a book deal is what they end up as.

Beyonce Looks Good

Scarlett Johansson Shows Almost Enough

Mr. Bean, the Dentist, and Aka

Mr Bean

Actor, Rowan Atkinson, aka Mr Bean, is an electrical engineer with an MSc degree from Queens College, Oxford so, like aka, he is obviously no dunce. With and estimated worth of £100 million, he is also no pauper and much smarter than the average electrical engineer. One of my favorite Mr. Bean episodes is Mr. Bean Goes to the Dentist, which I fondly remembered yesterday while waiting for my dentist to say “Open! Drill! Restraints!” followed by “Wow, what an Audi, probably an A6 this time.” Like much copyrighted stuff, I found Mr. Bean Goes to the Dentist posted on YouTube, which probably is in contravention of copyright laws and ethical behavior.

Aka_lol’s Random Thoughts on Dentists

• Dentists are not dogs and therefore are not man’s best friends.
• According to the Straight Dope website, dentists are 6.64 times more likely to commit suicide than the average population.  This is why I check on my dentists more often than I would check on my barber or even my plumber. I need him alive. I want him to suffer for as long as possible.
• I think causing physical pain and financial anguish to patients must be stressful for dentists and can cause them to go for a piece of rope or a strap on a suicide bomb as often as they go for  BMWs and sexy Audis.
• It never huts dentists as much as it hurts their patients.

Wolverine, My Butt

Is it my body or my brain
Do I drive you insane.
Is it the power of my touch
Do you need me too much, too much, too much…

What is my charisma
What is my charisma

Charisma –Howard L. Marks and Gene Simmons

Women find the x-man called Wolverine to be a charismatic super hero who has more charisma than Spiderman or even the Incredible Hulk. Initially, Wolverine became a charismatic sex symbol because he was a bad ass with a good butt. The movie directors, in an effort to rake in millions in a sagging economy, decided to have the x-man bare his butt on the big screen to help generate income. This formula worked and women dragged their boyfriends and lovers, along with their wallets, to the cinema for men to see what women were missing in bed – a bare-butt, Australian actor.

Despite the Hulk having a bigger and greener butt Wolverine is considered sexier. It is clear that butt size and color alone does not make a man sexy. Men and superheroes are sexy to women because of their bad-boy attitude and animal instinct in bed. That animal should, however, never be a mouse, rat or skunk but be a wolf, a tiger and an anteater at the same time. A firm butt is  an asset to any man who is trying to attract a gym-shaped, hard-to-get female but once that man also has bushy eyebrows and the ferocity of a wolf he will have his prey.

A woman says she wants a good man but some men misunderstand this to mean a churchgoer. What she really wants is not a man who can pray and send her to heaven but a man who can send her to heaven without a prayer. Apparently, Wolverine is such a man.

Jesssica Alba and Kate Winslet – Nudity

Sin City

Sexy sex kitten, Jessica Alba, does not want to be type cast as a sex kitten in future roles and does not want to do nudity in movies. She probably feels she is capable of being more than a shape and now wants to try words. Kate Winslet has been nominated for six Oscars and won Best Actress in 2009 for the Movie which she did the most nudity, The Reader.

Kate Winslet - The Reader - Nudity

There will always be people against  any form of nudity and sex in movies but you can’t stop the  sex  because movies are about life and you can’t have life without sex, or a test tube. It is also difficult to have proper sex without nudity.

Sometimes a forceful point can only be made with nudity as was the case in The Reader. One reviewer said there was too much nudity in the movie but  how else can film makers attract a young audience to artistic movies. The Reader was not phonographic  but the first half hour was eventful.

Jessica Alba wallpaper

Nudity has been abused in some movies and it is sometimes used to prevent the audience from going into a coma, as done with porn movies. The plot in most pornographic flicks can numb even the dullest brain so nudity is used as the device to keep the audience alert and even erect.

Maybe Jessica Alba should shun showing her entire body to an eager audience since her body may prevent the audience from noticing the rest of her. Some actresses may be very comfortable wearing shorts on magazine covers but being nude on the big screen can be like a photographer without a camera on Carnival Day.