Stephanie Rice – How to look good in a bikini


Stephanie Rice looks fantastic in this photo she recently posted on Twitter

Here we go again, judging a woman’s character as unsavory simply because she looks good in a bikini and let the world know. Stephanie Rice is an Australian swimmer and a triple Olympic Champion world record holder. She looks amazing in bikinis.

As expected, some people are making a fuss about the photo (above) which she recently posted on twitter because they say “the bikini is too racy and brings the Australian swim team into disrepute.”  I am certainly not offended by the photo and find the bikini racy enough. Some people are always pretentiously offended by anything sexy and would prefer if all women wear several bolts of cloth 24-7. This type of controversy will not go away anytime soon. I am now truly encouraged that the Olympics, which starts next month in London, might not be as boring as all the other Olympics. Some say she did it for attention and I say I hope so, for the Olympics sake. There are reports that one of her sponsors, Speedo, might be concerned about the posted photo but I think they might be secretly delighted she has the looks.  I want to suggest that other female athletes who have appropriate bodies, post photos of themselves in bikinis as a way of improving the TV ratings of the Olympics, and to encourage more females to take up sports as a lucrative career as opposed to crowded and boring fields like hairdressing, lingerie modeling, accounting, medicine and law.

Stephanie Rice up close

 

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JLo – Behind the Sexy


JLo - closeup

JLo, aka Jennifer Lynn Lopez, according to Wikipedia and my memory, is an American singer, actress, dancer, television producer, television personality, fashion designer, a mother, a perfume, Mark Anthony’s soon-to-be ex wife and still a sex symbol. I use the word still because nobody remains a sex symbol all their life but because JLo is only 42 years old, she may have a few years of  mass-appeal sexiness in her yet as silicon technology and Madonna make enormous strides.

Like any multitalented sex symbols, JLo is loved by many men and hated by nearly as many women who think she is not only overrated but also one of the key females whose shapely image enters the mind of their male companion during sex and waking hours.

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I am not sure why this is called a catsuit since I have never seen a cat in these suits.

JLo in a catsuit

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JLo in a sexy trademark pose

JLo - sexy trademark pose

JLo - a recent shot

JLo cannot be left behind

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Cameron Diaz – The Legs


Cameron Diaz making men happy

Whether Cameron Diaz’s new movie, “Bad Teacher,” is any good is irrelevant since at 38 years old, she displays legs most women at any age wished they had and also most men wished they had access to. Scientists have been explaining many things that have mystified us over the years such as why people get fat when they eat too much delicious chocolate cake from Linda’s Bakery but are yet to figure out why tall women wearing tight-fitting, rolled-up-a-bit-too-much-but-not-enough denim shorts and displaying legs shaped by frequent and intense workouts at the gym cause men to not only be happy in the right way but also to want to be happier. Some women will argue that it’s not how a woman looks but what she has up there but I, as a man, will argue that it’s what she has down there that attracts men in a very decisive way. But attracting men decisively is not the aim of many women and that was just the real man in me talking again. Unfortunately, I can’t review the movie since it hasn’t been released but I can say I will buy the poster featuring Cameron doing her bit for world happiness.

p.s. – the tag-line for the movie, “Bad Teacher” – She doesn’t give an “F”

Car washing is sometimes a spectator sport

Serena Williams’ Sexy New Video Game Ad Pulled


Serena Williams Top Spin

A good ad agency knows what will offend the pretentious so it is not surprising that this Serena Williams ad for the video game Top Spin was considered “too risqué for television.” That television would be American TV and obviously not Trinidad and Tobago TV which is accustomed to showing all forms of gyrations without even breaking a sweat or receiving a complaint except that the video was too short, or the skirt too long.

The Top Spin ad, I suppose,stressed too much on  the behind the scenes attractions of tennis instead of the boring part of the game which is as bland as dry toast in prison.  I admire the ad agency not only for a well made video that holds the attention as much as anything on Playboy TV but in also understanding that to offend is sometimes necessary to succeed in a world where commercial success is usually driven by sex.

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What Makes a Woman Sexy Besides Breasts


G-String or Thong as seen in Wikipedia - Tingly sensations will follow

Every man knows a sexy woman when he sees one but may not know why he finds her hot, thinking it’s just breasts again or that dental floss g-string. Those feelings which a man gets that tells him a woman is desirable are biological and beyond his desire to control. It’s not a g-string clothed butt in isolation which triggers a man’s excitement but  a part of the man’s brain which is used for, of all things, CXC maths exams to work out ratios.

Sexy at Maracas Bay - Trinidad

When a man sees a woman with an exposed navel the ratio-lobe in his brain subconsciously and accurately does the following math:  – ground to navel distance (including stilettos) divided by the navel to top of head distance (including hair piece and/or tiara). If that ratio works out to be approximately 1.6180339887 the woman is classified as sexy and the man’s brain quickly sends those tingly, sexy sensations to the appropriate male areas of the body. The male brain, being sex driven and little else, becomes happy and records in the back of his mind the image of that sexy woman for later use. A woman with the right ratios alone doesn’t make sexy and when she turns around so that the man’s eyes can finally see the woman’s face, a similar computation is done using the distance between the woman’s eyes and the length of the nose, length of smile, twist of the teeth and pimple placement. This facial calculation determines beauty, a part of sexiness.  This concept of total mathematical sexiness gave rise to the popular saying “She looked good until I did the math.”

Trinidad and Tobago Sexy - thanks mayarobeach.com

Trinidad and Tobago Sexy - thanks mayarobeach.com

Fortunately, most men do not find a perfect female body to be the only form of sexiness and there are as many variations as there are short skirts and low-cut tops. To describe all these variations is beyond the scope of this blog post and author’s intelligence. However, there is one form of sexiness that hasn’t been analyzed mathematically and only empirically and that is the roll of the hips by a woman when walking towards or away from a man on either a normal work day or Carnival days. That hip roll, sway, gyration or wine can easily fill a man’s head with stimulating thoughts for days. Because most people realize how important the female hip roll is to world population growth, belly dancers and our local winer guls are held in high esteem in all countries. The term belly dancer is really a misnomer and to be a good belly dancer a woman should not have much of a belly but  be a slave to the gym, low-calorie diets and waxing warm.

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Maxim Models


Maxim Maazine CoverMaxim is a magazine for men containing women but not just any women but women who are role models for other women. Maxim models are famous for knowing many things, especially how to bend for the camera. This feat of bending while starving to stay slim has earned them more money in a day than the average male spends on beer in a lifetime. The women who have been lucky enough to have made it to Maxim are a combination of celebrities and those girls in the gym next door.

There is something about being adored by millions of men every month, which attracts attractive women to want to pose for Maxim. Maxim is not like Playboy so it doesn’t encourage magazine nudity in most countries. Maxim magazine is now published in the US, UK, Argentina, Chile, Brazil, India, Germany, Bulgaria, Greece, Italy, Korea, Mexico, Indonesia, Israel, Belgium, Romania, the Czech Republic, France, Netherlands, Poland, Russia, Serbia, the Philippines, Singapore, Spain, Thailand, Ukraine, and Portugal. The women’s equivalent to Maxim is probably Better Homes and Gardens.

Men all over the world are the same and are attracted to the shape of shapely women. Maxim provides men with all the information they can understand about women in pictures. Maxim speaks the universal male language known as sexy in most countries and hotness in others. Some women consider the male obsession with looking and drooling over nearly nude, sexy women to be disgusting but most men are quite happy with this.

I doubt there will be a Maxim Trinidad and Tobago because local men don’t spend money on women on paper. We prefer the real women though that can also cost paper.

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