Movie Taglines – The Untold Story…So Far


Mars Attacks!

Tagline: The best thing about this movie is no longer the trailer; it’s the tagline ~ As seen on a poster for the movie by the strange name – This Beach Called Life – The Movie

Love Guru

I have always been fascinated by movie taglines and I hope I am not alone. According to marketing literature, a movie tagline is a branding slogan or memorable phrase, produced by overpaid marketing departments, which reflect the tone of the movie, for example, An Adventure 65 Million Years In The Making ~ Jurassic Park or If you haven’t held her, how do you know it’s real ~ 56k. These taglines are smart and truthful hence memorable. Some taglines have even become part of pop culture – To boldly go where no man has gone before ~ Star Trek or Houston, we have a problem ~ Apollo 13. But not all taglines are fully understood until you see the movie – Grease is the word ~ Grease or The classic story about a boy and his mother ~ Psycho. Eventually, despite being paid with large paychecks, SUVs and women and men in bikinis, the best in the business comes up with thisWe’ve Sensed It. We’ve Seen The Signs. Now… It’s Happening ~ The Happening.

Affair in Trinidad

A successful movie tagline doesn’t necessarily mean a movie will be successful and some of the best taglines have come from the most forgettable movies – It took them twenty years to fall in love at first sight ~ ‘Til there was you and A comedy about life and other terminal conditions ~ Two Thousand and None. So it seems taglines may be inspired by movies but if they are any good, can be a branding slogan for life – You’ll laugh. You’ll cry. You’ll hurl ~ Wayne’s World

Apollo 13Sleepy Hollow

Anyway, in keeping with the best season for movies, but not necessarily the season for the best movies or taglines, I have compiled a list of my favorite taglines in random disorder.

  • This time they’re running from the joint. Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay
  • The Coast Is Toast Volcano
  • The movie too HOT for words! Some Like It Hot
  • His Karma is Huge The Love Guru
  • Good girls want him bad. Bad girls want him worse. Cry-Baby
  • Sex. Clothes. Popularity. Is there a problem here? Clueless
  • If at first you don’t succeed, lower your standards. Tommy Boy
  • Do you like fish? Well, he likes you too…Jaws
  • Happy Halloween! Halloween
  • Watch your head! Sleepy Hollow
  • Nice planet. We’ll take it! Mars Attacks!
  • It’s Happening. Signs
  • In space no one can hear you scream. Alien
  • The strangest story ever conceived by man. King Kong
  • The Devil Inside. The Exorcist
  • How much can you know about yourself if you’ve never been in a fight? Fight Club
  • In a world of 1s and 0s…are you a zero, or The One? The Matrix
  • He’s having the worst day of his life… over, and over…Groundhog Day
  • Not every gift is a blessing. The Sixth Sense
  • The Story That Won’t Go Away. JFK
  • The truth is always in the last place you look. The Usual Suspects
  • Don’t Breathe. Don’t Look Back. Twister
  • Life can be a comedy or a tragedy; it all depends on how you look at it. Melinda and Melinda
  • …Everything You’ve Heard Is True. Amadeus
  • For Three Men The Civil War Wasn’t Hell. It Was Practice! The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly
  • He charges $10 but he’s willing to negotiate. Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo
  • A killer comedy. Scary Movie
  • I already forget how I used to feel about you. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
  • From the brother of the director of Ghost. Naked Gun 33 1/3: The Final Insult
  • No actual Europeans were harmed in the making of this film. EuroTrip
  • He’s out to prove he’s got nothing to prove. Napoleon Dynamite
  • These women are serious about their taste in men. Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death

Who Is The Iron Man And Do You Really Care?


Robert Downey Jr - Iron Man

Tony Stark: Pepper, uh, how big are your hands?
Virginia ‘Pepper’ Potts: What?
Tony Stark: How big are your hands?
Virginia ‘Pepper’ Potts: I don’t understand why…
Tony Stark: Get down here. I need you.

From the family movie Iron Man, rated PG-13 for brief suggestive content.

Do You Really Care

It’s hard to dislike a movie where Gwyneth Paltrow plays a sensually subdued character called Virginia Pepper Potts, while Robert Downey Jr plays a senseless billionaire named Tony Stark who has his heart replaced with a glow-in-the-dark Jell-O bowl in the Middle East. What is more important is that it’s impossible to dislike any PG-13 movie where a playboy is finally called Iron Man.

Iron Man is all about – surprise, surprise- good kicking evil’s butt blue but only after evil, disguised as Jeff Bridges, nearly crushes good’s iron clad head in a foot vice. What is amazing about Iron Man is that it would be a good movie even if the special effects were reduced to a minimum but it would be a better movie if Gwyneth Paltrow wore a short skirt and heels.

Christine Everhart

Even if reporter Christine Everhart didn’t show so much leg after jumping in the sack with Tony Stark because male billionaires have sexy bodies that sexy female reporters must have, Iron man would be a good movie. But it would be a better movie if she did it twice. Apart from the lack of leg, it’s hard to find a fault with Iron Man or a moment that wasn’t entertaining. In artistic terms Iron Man can be described as pleasantly Audi with a touch of Middle East. The movie’s characters seem straight out of a comic book with Terrence Howard playing Col. James ‘Rhodey’ Rhodes and Sayed Badreya playing Abu Baakar. Iron Man, despite bringing the taboo topic of a playboy manufacturing weapons of mass destruction to the silver screen, it still seems to be the perfect summer no-brainer appealing not only to the MTV crowd, but those who are big on men of steel.

Everything You Wanted to Know About aka but Couldn’t Find in Wikipedia


I have been tagged again by Fiery Heart, Agile Mind, Nimble Fingers

The Bank Job Poster

Last Movie You Saw In A Theater:
The Bank Job – A British movie that tells the true story about British royalty blackmail and its murderous Trinidad connection during the seventies.

What Book Are You Reading:
I Was Told There Would Be Cake – Sloane Corsley is currently being prepared to be read by being dusted and admired.

Favorite Board Game:
Chess spelt with one less ‘s’ and one more ‘t’…but that’s something I play when bored. I like Monopoly and Snakes and Ladders wasn’t too bad.

Favourite Magazine:
Not one I would leave lying around the house.

wd-40

Favorite Smells:
WD-40 – just a dab behind the ear would do. The smell of rain, freshly baked buns, aviation fuel.

Favorite Sound:
Early Sunday morning.

Worst Feeling In The World:
A negative tax return. The wrong American Idol winning.

Favorite Fast Food Place:
Not the Arabian Fast Food Joint from Hell

Future Child’s Name:
Either Nikon or Pentax but I won’t exclude Cannon.

Finish This Statement. “If I Had A Lot Of Money I’d…”
…give people who are hungry the food they need but show them posters of overweight people and convince them the wrong carbs are their worse enemy.

Do You Drive Fast?
Only when I am speeding.

Do You Sleep With A Stuffed Animal?
I would much rather sleep with a stuffed animal than a hungry one.

Storms-Cool Or Scary
Cool if in a movie, scary when your roof starts to take wings.

What Was Your First Car?
An old Toyota that caused governments to look at air pollution regulations again.

Sex on the Beach

Favourite drink:
I almost don’t drink alcohol but Sex on the Beach has potential to be a favorite.

Finish This Statement, “If I Had The Time I Would …..”
blog more, write books, hunt down terrorist, find humming birds to photograph

Do You Eat The Stems On Broccoli?
Life is too short

Hair Dye

If You Could Dye Your Hair Any Color, What Would Be Your Choice?
I wouldn’t change it for the world but the world does have a lot of problems.

Name All The Different Cities/Towns You Have Lived In.
St. Augustine for almost all my life and Stafford for three months.

Favorite Sports To Watch:
Women’s Strip Poker and Wet Tee-Shirt competitions

One Nice Thing About The Person Who Sent This To You:
Is that she lives on the Planet Earth and not just in some country.

What’s Under Your Bed?
The last person who asked me that 😉

Would You Like To Be Born As Yourself Again?
Yes, please.

Morning Person Or Night Owl?
Early morning to mid noon.

Over Easy Or Sunny Side Up?
Sunny side up if I am making it and scrambled when not.

Favorite Place To Relax:
On the beach.

Pie

Favorite Pie:
I don’t have a favorite and that must be abnormal.

Favorite Ice Cream Flavor:
I risk my life by saying this but I don’t like ice cream.

The Tale of a Chicken Gyro


Chicken Gyro

Last week I ordered a chicken gyro from the new Arabian fast food place close to where I work. I am not sure what a Greek gyro was doing on the menu of an Arabian fast-food restaurant in Trinidad and was too hungry to ask. I placed my order and a girl with nice legs asked if I wanted pepper with it. Once the confusion over what “it” meant I said yes to the pepper since less than ten Trinidadians ever rejected pepper on their fast food since 1498 and I wasn’t about to enter that Hall of Shame. The girl was attractive even when she shouted my order to the chef who, on waking up, looked both Syrian and depressed. The chef was yawning while he took out the pita bread from a bag that looked more suited for garbage than food. Some time later his memory returned and he threw on two scoops of chicken that would require radiocarbon dating to determine its true age, and then heated everything in a microwave for one minute. He then sprinkled the gyro with lettuce and squirted on a sauce that looked like grease only not as classy. If it was one time I wanted to lose my lunch was then and I was too hungry to surrender without a bite but it took only one bite to surrender. Maybe I will try the lamb next time.

The Trinidad and Tobago Economy – Piling it on


The fact that people are being robbed and murdered is being nullified by the local economy doing well. So said one of the latest politicians to roam and pillage the land. In a booming economy concrete piles are more important than people and it is only after an election people begin to realize their true worthlessness.  Although the economy is doing well and the police would rather escort the piles than serve the people for overtime reasons, I am certain the economy will soon crash. That is why I can be seen stocking up on hot hops and sardines on the weekends. I am basing my economic prediction, not on a feeling, but on newspaper commentaries, comments by the Governor of the Central Bank and the imbecilic looks on the faces of those in the Ministry of Finance. These are all sure signs that we won’t need an earthquake to look up to the Hyatt and bawl. Maybe I will be proven wrong and the economy won’t collapse but hopefully that won’t prevent the piles from ending up where they truly belong.

Bloggers Unite Against Human Rights Violations


On May 15th, 2008 Bloggers will unite with Amnesty International in support of Human Rights. This Beach Called Life has joined with rest of the blogging community in support of this initiative by highlighting human rights violations still plaguing the world.

Myanmar

After the cyclone

The Government of Myanmar preventing aid from reaching those affected by Cyclone Nargis is a scandalous human rights violation. The Government of Myanmar is yet another example of how power comes before people for governments. Presently, there is a threat of another tropical storm developing into a significant cyclone and affecting Myanmar again. But what does the government care.

Darfur

Darfur is a country with starving people who are being killed by the government backed Janjaweed for no reason other than they live in Darfur and don’t support the government. It appears that Darfuris are not significant enough to the rest of the world for anybody to intervene on their behalf. It is obvious the senseless killing of people is a characteristic of human nature that shows no sign of letting up.

China

Chinese Protest

According to Amnesty International China currently holds the world record for the largest number of imprisoned journalists and cyber-dissidents. One of the most prominent stories includes journalist Shi Tao, who is serving a 10-year sentence in a Chinese prison for sending an email! Amnesty is accusing Yahoo! of being responsible for the imprisonment of Shi Tao when Yahoo! passed on vital email information to the Chinese Government. I am wondering what the neurotic and insecure Chinese Government said to Yahoo! to get them to invade someone’s privacy. I don’t approve of Yahoo’s stance and will be protesting by sending an email to the Yahoo execs and changing my home page to Google. Little things do add up.

USA

Guantanamo Bay Prisoners

Another issue raised by Amnesty International is the illegal detentions at Guantanamo Bay by the United States of America. Amnesty is calling on the US to charge the detainees and then give them a fair trial before independent and impartial tribunals such as U.S. federal courts. Help tear it down. Except for Harold and Kumar, no one has ever escaped from Guantanamo Bay.

Trinidad and Tobago

environmentalist protest trinidad

Trinidad and Tobago is not famous for human rights violations except for the chronic bumbling incompetence of the Government and for getting away with murder. The murder rate in Trinidad and Tobago is likely to become the highest per capita in the world and the government is indifferent to this fact. The murder detection rate is close to zero but the Government of Trinidad and Tobago is more concerned with willfully destroying the environment, getting a private jet for the Prime Minister, and legalizing corruption. The enormous wealth this country possesses is being wasted on bling-bling and palaces for the few. Incompetence and nepotism is practiced by the government, which ensures the poor gets poorer, the police get lazier, and the rich buy houses in Florida. However, despite the best efforts of the government, there are still beautiful people and places in Trinidad and Tobago.

Look What Limewire Dragged In


Avast in action

There are very few computer users whose lives were not touched at one time or another by malware in the form of viruses, Trojans, adware, spyware and/or worms. These are all pieces of bad and unwanted software developed by seriously dysfunctional people from countries whose names are hard to pronounce and whose parents think they are sweet.

Malware is defined as software that makes your computer work bad and the earlier versions of Windows were the first malware known to man.

Spyware is software that can monitor your browsing habits and even take full or partial control of your computer. It’s like an intelligence agency or a rude boss.

A Trojan is a piece of software that claims to do one thing and ends up doing some other illicit thing, much like the government or teenagers. Trojans have been known to locate password information and send it to people who know what to do with it. Trojans do not replicate like viruses and are considered dysfunctional loners.

A virus is software that copies itself onto a legitimate program and spreads from one computer to another. Viruses can cause data to be lost or corrupted and can be a blessing to workers who need a break from their desktops.

Adware is software which runs in the background of your computer and makes popup ads, well, pop up, causing the user to scream and call the nearest nerd-friend who will not only ask how could you be so stupid over and over but who will also refuse to drive to your home at 2:00 am to try to get the pop ups to disappear despite your crying.

Worms are like viruses and consider themselves to be the baddest in the land since they stand alone and do not need to attach themselves to another program. They are the non-aligned movement of the malicious software world.

Currently there is an MP3 circulating via the popular peer-to-peer file sharing system Limewire which, when run, makes gullible users download PLAY_MP3.exe. Once the naive user runs the exe file pop ups begin to appear, and life becomes questionable again.

I have been using Avast antivirus, which is free for non-commercial home use and comes in Windows, Mac and Linux versions. However, if you want to make your computer safer from the full range of evils of the Internet world I recommend making one of the many commercial Internet security suite companies wealthy. The best suites are from McAfee, Symantec, and Trend Micro. I do not have a preference and your choice might depend on which you prefer to give your credit card information to.