And this is how it ends….again
Our local history textbooks of the very distant future will say how Jack Warner was a somewhat good man but misunderstood by tens of millions worldwide, including Andrew Jennings, Camini Marajh and a several investigators. Jack would be compared to Robin Hood even though he never shot an arrow or stole from any one person. He would be portrayed in some books as an urban legend, a mythical figure who the skeptical skeptics would say, despite photographs, political speeches and audit reports, never existed. Such kindness and cunning could never lie in the heart of the same man, they would say. The books will present scores of photos showing Jack handing over cheque after cheque to delighted people who worshiped him as a God with money.
History will say he was a man known for his willingness to build box drains for the poor and downtrodden. The books will acknowledge that despite his many flaws and law suits, he would eternally be known for his ability to listen to the problems of the frustrated on a weekly basis and act appropriately, unlike the other Members of Parliament who rose to legendary dignitary status after winning an election. Jack Warner will be known as a man who did some right but no wrong locally.
Like all urban legends, Jack will linger on minds of both the mindful and mindless. His parting would be seen to be an aborted reentry by his friends and backstabbers alike since the Prime Minister could no longer fake ignorance of one man’s deeds twice in one term.
An interview with Mr. Warner which never happened:
Reporter: Mr. Warner, will you now be resigning from Cabinet?
Mr. Warner: Resign! Resign? Based on what? Some foolish report that ain’t even worth the paper it was written on. Resign! Yuh mad or what. Any Tom, Dick and David could produce a report and all yuh tripping all over alluh self with it. I tell you, I never hear so much foolishness in all my life. All yuh gullible yes. Anybody see me thief any money? All yuh have it on CCTV? No, but all yuh saying Jack thief this and Jack thief dat. Mark my word, one day the truth will come out and it wouldn’t be nice. Mark my Word! Everybody after Jack. What it is I do all yuh so. Anybody see me thief ah property? Dey have it on YouTube? Nobody see me tief ah dam thing but all yuh saying I is a smart man. Not one single solitary soul see me thief but dey saying I must resign. Dey go have to goe before me. Mark my word. I never hear anything so foolish in any country before. If is mih back all yuh want to see ah goe take off mih shirt yuh knoe. Look, I have nothing more to say only to say one day the truth will come out and it wouldn’t be nice, Mark my word. Ah gone, ah have to take care of the crime in de country. Laterz!
UPDATE: Jack Warner has finally resigned from cabinet. I wonder if any other resignations by JW are in store?
Despite beer being brewed to perfection in Trinidad and Tobago at Carib Brewery in Champs Fleurs for decades, it only becomes real beer when served at the right temperature with peppered channa and that essential ingredient called our near perfect women. Some say if the Carib and Stag girls were discontinued, men would stop drinking beer and turn to meditation.
For countless years tourism, and in a few cases, a tourist, has taken a beating in Trinidad and Tobago. Because of poor marketing, poor work ethics, and career criminals we are constantly in treadmill mode in our attempts to woo visitors to our version of paradise. To get tourists to come to Trinidad and Tobago we would have to change our international image by highlighting our efficient policing efforts, preserve old buildings, ensure poison-free rivers and beaches, keep cobeauxs and crayfish alive and of course, highlight our diversely beautiful women using beer and blogs.
Like Crix, doubles, and commissions of inquiries, Carib and Stag have become true icons of our country but Carib and Stag have leaped to the head of the line with their marketing girls. There probably is a high turnover of these girls as shelf life can be short but the effect remains constant despite frequent changes.
The pictures that appeared on this blog were taken from the Carib Brewery website and Facebook pages.
Two facts about Carib and Stag in Trinidad and Tobago:
- On May 16th 1950 Carib beer was first brewed
- On Carnival Friday 1973 Stag beer was first brewed “in a 275ml A-line amber bottle. In the following year, its packaging moved to a 6 inch, 250ml green bottle”
This is the new one from PSY, ‘GENTELEMAN’
The point is not if it’s good but if it’s good enough to plaster PSY into the South Korean and World Hall of Musical Fame. I think ‘GENTLEMAN’ is nearly as deep a song lyrically as ‘GANGAM STYLE’ and I hope the world will also find the new PSY song as moving. For those who do not remember of tried to forget ‘GANGAM STYLE’ was the song that caused nearly everybody, especially North Koreans, to admit that the world is not as serious as it looks.
Trinidad and Tobago is a frustrating country to live in not only because the police service can be selectively incompetent so as to intentionally start unrest but the population gets constant mixed signals from the authorities. On one hand foreign fast food franchises are government-encouraged and causing traffic all over the place while on the other the Minister of Health accuses citizens of being too fat and unhealthy from fast foods thus becoming a drain on the treasury. Not a big drain as kickbacks paid over the years to politicians and their friends but a drain on the public purse by the public is always looked upon with the highest disgust by holders of high office.
Yes, we as a country need food and jobs but it seems we are doing this at the expense of our health and foreign exchange. We are a bad food society and the lines of people buying fried food and chips at locations nationwide will always vastly outnumber the amount of people lining up to greet any former political hero on his or her way to buy something down town. I can sympathize with the Minister of Health’s frustration as citizens always complain about the level of health care available while lounging on a couch, enjoying KFC and a massive Pepsi backed up with a current roll without raisins.
Despite high taxes on cigarettes and alcohol, these companies are immensely profitable due to the addictive nature of their products and the foolish people who buy them. It is no different with fried food with salt. High taxes are never a deterrent with addictions and taxing bad food to pay for dialysis seems as foolish as giving crooks access to the treasury and depending on integrity laws to keep them honest.
We need to take our lives in our own hands and fight the attraction of these toxic substances being sold for high profit and packed in cleverly designed fast food boxes and brown paper bags. Saying no to bad food will benefit the economy and the happiness index of the country. The turning of our collective backs on bad foods will start a good food revolution and also force doctors into more productive and humanitarian professions such as farming and engineering. It will be a win win situation.
The Government is planning to use mini-drone choppers in its latest attempt loose the fight against crime but win another term in office. The mini-drones will be outfitted with the latest spy equipment that can see through heavily draped windows and women, closed and bolted doors, hollow clay and concrete blocks plastered on both sides as well as politicians regardless of party. Apart from the latest spy equipment with current firmware, the drones will come with the usual annihilation equipment and MP3 players with ear buds. It is said that the drones will be controlled by an independent committee made up of ten citizens chosen by another independent committee selected by the President after consultation with the Prime Minister and God. The Committee will be chosen from a wide cross section of the population and will include no more than one doubles vendor, one community leader and one atheist. A two thirds majority – 6.667 people – will be required to activate the annihilation equipment where the target looks funny or is a gold-color Nissan. The drones will be capable of streaming live video via the social media and have its own Facebook page.
The Committee, like some politicians, church builders building churches from kick-back money, former head of State agencies and billionaire crooks, will be exempted from prosecution for any crime committed thus the Drone Committee will not have to worry about taking out the wrong man or car. Crime is expected to take a nose dive once the drones take to the air and start buzzing over crime hotspots and political meetings held behind closed doors. As is customary in this country, a kick-back will be paid to the politician or politicians who put the things in place for this latest crime fighting initiative to happen. As is also customary, offshore bank accounts will be set up as necessary.