AGWS



In an attempt of achieve developed country status and protect innocent gravel, Government has not only passed an OSHA bill, but has also deployed an Advanced Gravel Warning System (AGWS). This highly sophisticated and technologically advanced system is currently being used to abruptly warn gravel-oblivious drivers away from the heaps of gravel, and onto oncoming traffic. The system is said to be highly successful as very few gravel heaps were reported to be injured or scattered since the warning system was deployed.

The Music Sucks!


Legend has it that one morning a certain politician, who, like all politicians, was famous for pretending he cared about the people and for being rather arrogant though he was incredibly stupid; woke up, stretched, yawned, scratched here and there, then sleepily picked up the daily newspaper to look at the picture splashed across the front page. The picture showed an inconsolable and grieving Mother and Father at the funeral of their young son who was brutally murdered by bandits just a few nights ago. This bright and wonderful young man was a victim of an unprecedented crime-wave sweeping the country. It was a crime wave encouraged and fueled by the power-hungry, kick-back-ready, ego seeking, power-is-everything-people-mean-nothing, never-wrong, inhumane and evil politicians of this country.

This talented young man was what politicians like to call collateral damage, ah well, no big thing, or so what. It was not surprising to learn the first and only thought that came to this politician’s mind was this will cost me more political mileage. There was no compassion, no sympathy, only feelings for himself and his political survival, and he was proud of these feelings. That is what politicians are famous for; useless souls, and destructive existence. But then, the evil and devious part of his brain, which is by far the most dominant part of every politician’s brain, reminded the rest of his neurons and all of his soul, he had more than enough votes in the bag to maintain his status quo since his supporters see him as representing what they want.

People, regardless of who their political idol is, have developed a belief that the leader they choose should favor them at the expense of those who opposed their choice. What The Legend tried to desperately point out is that people get the type of politicians they deserve for he will be made from their wishes. If the chosen representative is heartless, arrogant, unkind, wicked, cruel, vindictive, and power-and-kick-back-hungry, then he is merely a reflection of his supporters. The situation gets even more hopeless when we realize the music is the same at all The Parties and the music sucks!

Add Vice For The New Year



It is 2006 and practically half the year is over. No, I am not a mad man, well at least two people think I am not but they are not very sane either. Anyway, as I was saying, half the year is over and not in terms of time. It’s half over since all resolutions start to come apart during the first week in January and by the 10th of the month they are halfway gone. In mathematical terms it is expressed as the equation shown below, popularly known as the Failure Equation or The Why We Amount To Zero Equation.

Will Power * Resolutions = Outcome

Where Will Power quickly tends to Zero and Resolutions can be any number from One to Infinity. The Outcome, aka End Result, can be seen on bathroom scales, KFC shirt stains, empty beer bottles, bloodshot eyes, same shady friends, fat-filled cholesterol test results, mounds of dust on religious books, the obscenely low standard of blogging, and probably the amount of porn bookmarks on web browsers.

As a good friend told me on Ole-Years-Nite, I have no meaningful vices and vice-driven people find me annoying to be around. Naturally, I hung my head in shame while I puffed my cigar and guzzled my eight or twelfth beer for the night, while my free hand hung around a still unidentified female’s neck for support. It was there and then I resolved to pick up at least one or two vices for the coming year since I had none. As if time didn’t stand still, I quickly stumbled around my vice-riddled friends on the floor and asked the few conscious ones what were the more common vices among bright and handsome males like myself. As I suspected, they had no idea what a vice was and quickly dismissed my pleas. But, having placed my faith in Google and the better search engines in general, I was amazed and impressed at how much I was missing in life and why my life seemed so boring at times. With this new secret to life in hand I vowed that 2006 would be a vice-filled year.