Bikini Carnival 2008

Trinidad Carnival 2008

Nudity was considered good until it received a bad name from those who were afraid to get naked, even when alone in their mirrorless bedrooms at night.

There are inhibited voices crying for masqueraders to show less of their bodies on Carnival days and trips to the mall. Some are offended by high skin to clothes ratios and think the public display of the human body is immoral and can lead to a breakdown in society. Maybe those who are offended have bodies that can cause societal breakdown and psychological damage. This blog disagrees with the societal breakdown theory and agrees with Bertrand Russell when he said that morality is geographic. What people do is usually a symptom not the cause and what is offensive in one country is a tourist attraction in another.

Trinidad Carnival Bikini

In Trinidad and Tobago we have grown to accept that Bikini Costumes can be worn by women and some men in street parades on Carnival Monday and Tuesday but those costumes cannot be worn to work or to attend meetings unless asked to do so by ten or more people. Similarly, tight jeans may be worn by females who have the body and agility to accommodate those jeans without overstressing the fabric or the eyes of the observers. Also, the public has no problem with mini skirts being worn by the young and young looking but should not normally be worn while swinging in public parks or during the windy kite season unless the skirt is fitted.

What the high and the mighty, the self-righteous and those with inappropriate bodies must understand is that the World cannot strive without change and sometimes people need to change their drab office outfits and tattered home clothes, and show the World why months of oatmeal for breakfast and squats in the gym are good for the human body and spectators. Immorality is not only geographic but in the minds of those who strive on their need to be offended.

Life on Mars and Halle Berry

Halle Berry

Not only was there life on Mars, but also a writer’s union strike and canceled TV shows for the next season. Scientist on Earth hoped that life on Mars would have shed more light on the origins of life and male pattern baldness but this did not happen as hardcover copies of Cosmos by Carl Sagan and Rogain were found to be the only bestsellers on Mars for hundreds of years. Life on Mars was dreary and unfair like it was on Earth except that their United States hardly bought anything from their China other than mosquito coils, oyster sauce and rice noodles. Like Earth, Mars had its fair share of corrupt public officials and morons who roamed the planet trying to get votes.

Martians had similar traits to Earthlings and they both often complained about potholes on the roads. Martians also burnt tires so that the smoke signals could alert road officials and low orbiting spacecraft exactly where the road craters were located. On Mars, there were no tsunamis or bubble baths since there was no water due to slack management of the Martian Water Authority. The land prices on Mars shifted uncontrollably because sand storms often shifted land location. There was very little change in red being the favorite color of Mars but on Earth the color concrete became the color of choice and green became an artificial color. Martians did not need passports to travel within their planet and it was only required for entry into the US. The most popular movies on Mars were sci-fi movies where Earthlings were shown to be creatures destroying planet Earth and fellow Earthlings for unbelievable reasons. Martian suicide bombings became a thing of the past on Mars after Martians discovered that Heaven was a place on Earth.

Man on MarsMartians thought that the Earthling String Bikini was too modest since Martians, like Venusians and porn stars, never wore clothes except when under a mosquito or paparazzi attack. Though Martians did not learn anything earth shattering from Earthlings, but they did like Earth beaches of the Caribbean, Halle Berry, and this blog.

3:10 to Yuma – an imitiation Review

10 to Yuma

The following is aka’s false impression of a teen’s review of 3:10 to Yuma in one simple sentence.

My mom, who is still an adult, wanted to see 3:10 to Yuma but I and my sister didn’t want to go, after all it was a western and we don’t like westerns since we are very young and was brought up by special effects which are nice to look at, especially when someone gets their blood splattered by an axe or blown to bits by a bomb or missile for no reason because it looks so real these days, I think, and real looking is what young people want because young people just simply love grossness inside and outside, but I admit I never seen a western before but my friend told me his grand dad only looks at westerns everyday while sipping rum and coke before he passes out about lunchtime so if they are so bad to get his grand dad to pass out then I don’t think I want to see a western even if my mom said we must open our minds to new things, such as full stops and it is a new movie that stars Russell Crow and that dreamy hunk Christian Bale but we did end up seeing the movie because families are not real democratic and we didn’t pass out but my mom did.

MacBook Air

Steve Jobs holding MacBook Air

Being Innovative and the best is what Apple Inc is famous for so it was not surprising that Steve Jobs, Apple’s CEO, cofounder and bad boy, launched the MacBook Air, the thinnest working laptop in the Universe and Japan. The MacBook Air is so thin that the prototype was lost in at the Apple Headquarters for almost two weeks before it was accidentally found tucked away in a manila folder belonging to a senior manager along with a couple sheets of paper with important doodles from a recent Apple’s executive meeting. This laptop is aimed at those who can afford the courage to fork out at least US$1,799.00 for a chance to impress the impressionable.

The MacBook Air comes with an 80GB hard drive, 2 GB RAM, power cord, and display polishing cloth. The thin machine weighs about three pounds or approximately the same as three pounds of butter. Don’t get too excited just yet because the MacBook Air lost its thickness because it cannot play DVDs or CDs without an external optional drive. In an attempt to show Greenpeace it is serious about environmental issues Apple claimed that the MacBook Air was “the first” to have a mercury-free display with arsenic-free glass, a move which delighted the rat and fish population in all major cities and streams.

Mazda Concept Cars

Mazda Taiki

The Mazda Taiki concept sports car was recently introduced to the Japanese and US public. This car represents the possible future of Mazda sports cars and ego trips. No doubt the Taiki was designed to turn heads and raise skirts, both common Japanese pastimes. Mazda also introduced the 450 hp rotary-engine Furai concept sports car that was designed to run on ethanol fuel and send up the price of corn. The Furai has more horses than a small ranch but lack the fur for petting. Mazda said that the Taiki and the Furai were designed to provide the ultimate driving experience and which is even more ultimate than the previous ultimate driving experience provided by Mazda.

Mazda Furai
The Taiki and the Furai are the latest offerings using Mazda Nagare (pronounced ‘na-ga-reh’) design philosophy. Nagare is Japanese for ‘flow’ and the ‘embodiment of motion.’ Furai (pronounced “foo-rye” is Japanese for sound of the wind”) and Taiki in Japanese is that which wraps the Earth in its protective mantle. The company’s name, “Mazda,” was previously thought to be derived from the Zoroastrian God called Ahura Mazda but recent archaeological discoveries suggest the company was named after its founder, 松田重次郎.

A True Story, Mon


The following is based on a true story:

Yesterday I emailed a girl I know to ask her how her mother was. I heard her mother had injured her ankle while attempting an inappropriate move in aerobics class. I sent her one line of email and I simply said; “How is your mon?” With the typo mon instead of mom. It was an honest keyboard error. As the saying goes “Well who tell me say that!” This girl pounced on me via email and in a version of English perfected over the years in rum shops and blogs. This fine female said she thought I was rude and out of place – not the exact words – to ask her about her mon problems and accused me of listening to gossip and she never slept with the mon but only spent the night together in a hotel room. Who would think otherwise, I thought? She went on to say she was a professional and did not need to hunt down no mon and there were many mons after her. I was beginning to wonder what she had against hunting, and what she did to have many mons after her. Well I read through what felt like seven lines of abuse and wondered why me mon, why me.

I will press send after I post this blog and my reply simply says, “I meant, how is your mom?”