Bikini Carnival 2008


Trinidad Carnival 2008

Nudity was considered good until it received a bad name from those who were afraid to get naked, even when alone in their mirrorless bedrooms at night.

There are inhibited voices crying for masqueraders to show less of their bodies on Carnival days and trips to the mall. Some are offended by high skin to clothes ratios and think the public display of the human body is immoral and can lead to a breakdown in society. Maybe those who are offended have bodies that can cause societal breakdown and psychological damage. This blog disagrees with the societal breakdown theory and agrees with Bertrand Russell when he said that morality is geographic. What people do is usually a symptom not the cause and what is offensive in one country is a tourist attraction in another.

Trinidad Carnival Bikini

In Trinidad and Tobago we have grown to accept that Bikini Costumes can be worn by women and some men in street parades on Carnival Monday and Tuesday but those costumes cannot be worn to work or to attend meetings unless asked to do so by ten or more people. Similarly, tight jeans may be worn by females who have the body and agility to accommodate those jeans without overstressing the fabric or the eyes of the observers. Also, the public has no problem with mini skirts being worn by the young and young looking but should not normally be worn while swinging in public parks or during the windy kite season unless the skirt is fitted.

What the high and the mighty, the self-righteous and those with inappropriate bodies must understand is that the World cannot strive without change and sometimes people need to change their drab office outfits and tattered home clothes, and show the World why months of oatmeal for breakfast and squats in the gym are good for the human body and spectators. Immorality is not only geographic but in the minds of those who strive on their need to be offended.

Life on Mars and Halle Berry


Halle Berry

Not only was there life on Mars, but also a writer’s union strike and canceled TV shows for the next season. Scientist on Earth hoped that life on Mars would have shed more light on the origins of life and male pattern baldness but this did not happen as hardcover copies of Cosmos by Carl Sagan and Rogain were found to be the only bestsellers on Mars for hundreds of years. Life on Mars was dreary and unfair like it was on Earth except that their United States hardly bought anything from their China other than mosquito coils, oyster sauce and rice noodles. Like Earth, Mars had its fair share of corrupt public officials and morons who roamed the planet trying to get votes.

Martians had similar traits to Earthlings and they both often complained about potholes on the roads. Martians also burnt tires so that the smoke signals could alert road officials and low orbiting spacecraft exactly where the road craters were located. On Mars, there were no tsunamis or bubble baths since there was no water due to slack management of the Martian Water Authority. The land prices on Mars shifted uncontrollably because sand storms often shifted land location. There was very little change in red being the favorite color of Mars but on Earth the color concrete became the color of choice and green became an artificial color. Martians did not need passports to travel within their planet and it was only required for entry into the US. The most popular movies on Mars were sci-fi movies where Earthlings were shown to be creatures destroying planet Earth and fellow Earthlings for unbelievable reasons. Martian suicide bombings became a thing of the past on Mars after Martians discovered that Heaven was a place on Earth.

Man on MarsMartians thought that the Earthling String Bikini was too modest since Martians, like Venusians and porn stars, never wore clothes except when under a mosquito or paparazzi attack. Though Martians did not learn anything earth shattering from Earthlings, but they did like Earth beaches of the Caribbean, Halle Berry, and this blog.

3:10 to Yuma – an imitiation Review


10 to Yuma

The following is aka’s false impression of a teen’s review of 3:10 to Yuma in one simple sentence.

My mom, who is still an adult, wanted to see 3:10 to Yuma but I and my sister didn’t want to go, after all it was a western and we don’t like westerns since we are very young and was brought up by special effects which are nice to look at, especially when someone gets their blood splattered by an axe or blown to bits by a bomb or missile for no reason because it looks so real these days, I think, and real looking is what young people want because young people just simply love grossness inside and outside, but I admit I never seen a western before but my friend told me his grand dad only looks at westerns everyday while sipping rum and coke before he passes out about lunchtime so if they are so bad to get his grand dad to pass out then I don’t think I want to see a western even if my mom said we must open our minds to new things, such as full stops and it is a new movie that stars Russell Crow and that dreamy hunk Christian Bale but we did end up seeing the movie because families are not real democratic and we didn’t pass out but my mom did.

MacBook Air


Steve Jobs holding MacBook Air

Being Innovative and the best is what Apple Inc is famous for so it was not surprising that Steve Jobs, Apple’s CEO, cofounder and bad boy, launched the MacBook Air, the thinnest working laptop in the Universe and Japan. The MacBook Air is so thin that the prototype was lost in at the Apple Headquarters for almost two weeks before it was accidentally found tucked away in a manila folder belonging to a senior manager along with a couple sheets of paper with important doodles from a recent Apple’s executive meeting. This laptop is aimed at those who can afford the courage to fork out at least US$1,799.00 for a chance to impress the impressionable.

The MacBook Air comes with an 80GB hard drive, 2 GB RAM, power cord, and display polishing cloth. The thin machine weighs about three pounds or approximately the same as three pounds of butter. Don’t get too excited just yet because the MacBook Air lost its thickness because it cannot play DVDs or CDs without an external optional drive. In an attempt to show Greenpeace it is serious about environmental issues Apple claimed that the MacBook Air was “the first” to have a mercury-free display with arsenic-free glass, a move which delighted the rat and fish population in all major cities and streams.

Mazda Concept Cars


Mazda Taiki

The Mazda Taiki concept sports car was recently introduced to the Japanese and US public. This car represents the possible future of Mazda sports cars and ego trips. No doubt the Taiki was designed to turn heads and raise skirts, both common Japanese pastimes. Mazda also introduced the 450 hp rotary-engine Furai concept sports car that was designed to run on ethanol fuel and send up the price of corn. The Furai has more horses than a small ranch but lack the fur for petting. Mazda said that the Taiki and the Furai were designed to provide the ultimate driving experience and which is even more ultimate than the previous ultimate driving experience provided by Mazda.

Mazda Furai
The Taiki and the Furai are the latest offerings using Mazda Nagare (pronounced ‘na-ga-reh’) design philosophy. Nagare is Japanese for ‘flow’ and the ‘embodiment of motion.’ Furai (pronounced “foo-rye” is Japanese for sound of the wind”) and Taiki in Japanese is that which wraps the Earth in its protective mantle. The company’s name, “Mazda,” was previously thought to be derived from the Zoroastrian God called Ahura Mazda but recent archaeological discoveries suggest the company was named after its founder, 松田重次郎.

A True Story, Mon


e-male

The following is based on a true story:

Yesterday I emailed a girl I know to ask her how her mother was. I heard her mother had injured her ankle while attempting an inappropriate move in aerobics class. I sent her one line of email and I simply said; “How is your mon?” With the typo mon instead of mom. It was an honest keyboard error. As the saying goes “Well who tell me say that!” This girl pounced on me via email and in a version of English perfected over the years in rum shops and blogs. This fine female said she thought I was rude and out of place – not the exact words – to ask her about her mon problems and accused me of listening to gossip and she never slept with the mon but only spent the night together in a hotel room. Who would think otherwise, I thought? She went on to say she was a professional and did not need to hunt down no mon and there were many mons after her. I was beginning to wonder what she had against hunting, and what she did to have many mons after her. Well I read through what felt like seven lines of abuse and wondered why me mon, why me.

I will press send after I post this blog and my reply simply says, “I meant, how is your mom?”

IMDB – Top Ten Celebrities for 2007


IMDB

Here are my unwanted comments on IMDB’s top 10 celebrities for 2007.

10. Tom Cruise managed to create some degree of public curiosity in 2007 even with his latest box-office bomb Lion of the Lambs. His claim to fame is his ability to produce good acting performances despite being handicapped with his physical appearance and friendship with the Beckham clan.

9. Matt Damon was voted Sexiest Man of the year 2007 but faced stiff competition from yours truly, who withdrew at the last minute for obvious reasons. Being voted Sexiest Man Alive is not something men want to be burdened with since trying to live up to expectations can leave a man bedridden, but happy. Matt (the actor and possibly the blogger) was made very popular with the anti-Bond crowd when he showed to the world what a real secret agent is supposed to be – unsmiling and deadly, not womanizing and womanizing. But Bond seems happier.

8. I saw Lindsay Lohan in two movies, Herbie Fully loaded and Bobby, but I can’t remember her in either. I have no idea what extra curricular activities she is famous for and never heard too much about her 2007 movie efforts. Lindsay Lohan came in at number 8, which goes to show I have no business commenting on her popularity.

7. Zac Efron is even more unknown to me but he did create more public curiosity than Lindsay Lohan only he is not as good looking. His popularity may stem from being raised as an agnostic by his engineer father and former secretary mother. Or, it may stem from starring in Hairspray and High School Musical 2.

6. Jessica Alba is famous for her rolls as Nancy Callahan in Sin City and as Sue Storm in Fantastic Four. Both are among my favorite movie characters and both are fond of wearing tight fitting clothes. Jessica Alba looks good not only in movies, but also in pictures eating ice cream, which can be considered both alluring and suggestive.

5. Angelina Jolie has a big heart with lips to match. She is certainly sexy but distracting at the same time. I can never look at an Angelina Jolie movie without being preoccupied with her lips and forget everything she is saying. That is not a good trait for any actress or moviegoer to have. In 2007 she starred in the dismal but nicely revealing Beowulf 3D.

4. Christian Bale can kick butt because he is the real Batman and not some joker. He was the one responsible for giving back Batman and DC comics their good name, which was sullied by recent attempts to revive Superman without the right Kryptonite. In 2007 he starred in 3:10 to Yuma a western with a twist. The twist being it also stared a New Zealander-Australian called Russell Crowe, who happens to be the cousin of New Zealand Test Cricketers Jeff and Martin Crowe.

3. Hayden Panettiere – pronounced Pen-eh-tee-air and is Italian for baker – is a girl and first entered show business when she was 11 months old and appeared in a Playschool TV ad. Her current bout of fame has nothing to do with Playschool or her 1999 Grammy Award nomination but with her role in the obscure TV series called Heroes, and disrupting some Japanese fishermen on their annual dolphin hunt. It is estimated that she earned $2 million dollars in 2007 which can’t even buy the gates for an average size mansion but she is young and can start saving now for the hinges.

2. Bradley Pitt aka Brad Pitt was once married to Jennifer Aniston and once dated Robin Givens. He is now in some way involved with Angelina Jolie and that is why he is still so popular. Bradley was, and is considered among the most attractive men alive along with Michael Jackson and Rosie O’Donnell.

1. John Christopher Depp II a.k.a Johnny Depp is not only the most popular celebrity for 2007 but one of the most talented actors on the Planet. He is most remembered as Edward Scissors Hand, Captain Jack Sparrow, Roux and the Stephen King character Mort Rainey, all successful loners. Depp is perpetually popular because he signs autographs and calls America dumb. It’s hard to say if Johnny Depp is normal but normal was never a requirement for talent and living a good life in France.

Ten Books I Promise (to myself) to Read in 2008


aka books 2008

It is argued by people who are so inclined that spare time can only be called spare when it is used for something more trivial than it wasn’t intended for initially. Reading is never a trivial matter so reading can never be done in spare time and has to be done at a time that is better than spare.

I don’t know how much time I can spare in 2008 but the books in the picture above are ten of the books I intend to spare time for. Only nine books are in the picture and are shown in no particular order of merit, beauty or ISBN number.

Rescuing Sprite: A Dog Lover’s Story of Joy and Anguish by Mark R. Levin

Descartes’s Secret Notebook: A True Tale of Mathematics, Mysticism, and the Quest to Understand the Universe by Amir D. Aczel

The Prince by Niccolo Machiavelli

The Gunslinger (The Dark Tower, Book 1) by Stephen King

Animals in Translation: Using the Mysteries of Autism to Decode Animal Behavior by Temple Grandin and Catherine Johnson

Guns, Germs, and Steel: The Fates of Human Societies by Jared Diamond

E=mc2: A Biography of the World’s Most Famous Equation by David Bodanis

The Selfish Gene: 30th Anniversary Edition–with a new Introduction by the Author by Richard Dawkins

Everything Bad is Good for You by Steven Johnson