Pastor Stewart is one of the funniest bits of local or even foreign humor in my opinion. With over 1.5 million views on Youtube, I am not alone. So while we wait for the Partnership to move mountains or even tiny molehills to make people happy, the diversification started without much fanfare from the powers that be – I Am Santana – The Movie – now showing at a T&T IMAX Near You
I am Santana - The Movie
Ian Harnarine
Although the word has been around since August, I only found out about the movie Doubles With Slight Pepper from the Trinidad Guardian on Monday. It was good news for movie making in Trinidad and Tobago. Doubles With Slight Pepper is a movie by Ian Harnarine, a Canadian with Trini parents and who is a movie sound recordists and mixer. The movie won Best Short Award at the International Toronto Film Festival (ITFF) has been considered among the top ten movies in Canada this year. According to the ITFF website the movie runs for 16 minutes and has the famous American director, Spike Lee listed as one of the executive producers. The Trinidad Guardian’s article said the Trinidad and Tobago Film Company (TTFC) assisted Mr. Harnarine with grant funding for the movie. I checked the listing for the Trinidad and Tobago Film Festival (TTFF I suppose) for listings for 2011 but didn’t see Doubles listed. Maybe Flow will offer it on-demand soon.
Cameron Diaz making men happy
Whether Cameron Diaz’s new movie, “Bad Teacher,” is any good is irrelevant since at 38 years old, she displays legs most women at any age wished they had and also most men wished they had access to. Scientists have been explaining many things that have mystified us over the years such as why people get fat when they eat too much delicious chocolate cake from Linda’s Bakery but are yet to figure out why tall women wearing tight-fitting, rolled-up-a-bit-too-much-but-not-enough denim shorts and displaying legs shaped by frequent and intense workouts at the gym cause men to not only be happy in the right way but also to want to be happier. Some women will argue that it’s not how a woman looks but what she has up there but I, as a man, will argue that it’s what she has down there that attracts men in a very decisive way. But attracting men decisively is not the aim of many women and that was just the real man in me talking again. Unfortunately, I can’t review the movie since it hasn’t been released but I can say I will buy the poster featuring Cameron doing her bit for world happiness.
p.s. – the tag-line for the movie, “Bad Teacher” – She doesn’t give an “F”
Car washing is sometimes a spectator sport
Imax is coming to Trinidad and Tobago but more specifically, One Woodbrook Place, which is way over budget was built by The HCL Group of Companies, a member of the notorious CL Financial Group. Most Trinis who will be able to easily afford a ticket to see an Imax movie locally are those who have already experienced how good an Imax movie looks and feels in countries they have funneled scarce US dollars to buy a second or third house. They are probably the ones who are also quick to complain that there is a shortage of US dollars. The rest of us will have to start a lay away plan or win tickets on a radio show competition.
I predict notwithstanding the infamy and drain on the local econpomy of One Woodbrook Place, the Imax will do well once the economy does well and the economy will do ok once there is good gas, oil, methanol, ammonia and urea prices coupled with low or no wage increases for all public sector workers.
Naturally, the local Imax will be showing all the latest block buster special effects movies and one I hope to be seeing locally or even overseas is Super 8. It was written and directed by JJ Abrams and produced by Stephen Spielberg. That combination plus a fantastic trailer will ensure Super 8 sells out our local Imax despite high ticket and popcorn prices.
Synopsis
In the summer of 1979, a group of friends in a small Ohio town witness a catastrophic train crash while making a super 8 movie and soon suspect that it was not an accident. Shortly after, unusual disappearances and inexplicable events begin to take place in town, and the local Deputy tries to uncover the truth – something more terrifying than any of them could have imagined. Written by Official site
Most people are not afraid to get scared and some even will pay money to do so. With all the recent talk about the new movie, Paranormal Activity 2 and how people are jumping several times and several inches during the movie, I decided to make a list of some of the movies, I found scary. Scary doesn’t always mean jumping at every bang or appearance of an ugly face, but it means being afraid to sleep with lights off at night for weeks or months after viewing.
Some of the best movies ever made are scary movies, but you will never find most of them being nominated for, much less winning any mainstream awards. Maybe the movie world still think boring an audience into a coma is art. I know people who went to see scary movies due to office peer pressure and faked bravery by sitting with their eyes closed or looking at the vibrating head of the person in front of them for the entire movie. Those people are known as wimps and should be exposed for what they are. I like scary movies because it takes my mind away from the scary parts of daily life. Things like slow moving traffic in the Beetham, the price of tomatoes, or seeing a rapidly aging Colm Imbert on TV.
I made a poll to select the scariest movies ever made, the results of which will be used for nothing in particular except fun.
Devil is the first first in a series of movies called the Night Chronicles. M. Night Shyamalan is the brains behind this endeavor which will have both its loyal friendlies and hostiles. Devil is directed by John Erick Dowdle and written by Brian Nelson. The story comes from The Mind of M. Night Shyamalan who, according to recent reports, is being laughed at during the showing of the Devil trailers on the appearance of that statement. I assume this laughing is an attempt to ridicule Shyamalan for reasons that might be trendy. Maybe people are laughing because they feel his film making abilities has declined steadily since Sixth Sense. I don’t know about that but Shyamalan’s movies have be making millions ever since and his recent “failure,” The Last Airbender which has grossed US$290,000,000 worldwide so far (DVD sales not added). Airbender cost US$150,000,000 to make plus US$130,000,000 to market which is hefty by any standards. On the other hand, Nicholas Cage’s Sorcerer’s Apprentice cost Disney US$160,000,000 to make and and maybe more than half of that to market but has only managed US$200,000,000 worldwide. I am not sure how accurate budget figures are for movies as the public pronouncements about movie budgets are used as a clever marketing tool to woo dollar-centered audiences. What it seems is that Shyamalan is also able to generate large revenues from a loyal negative following and in the world of celebrities, a good negative makes as much money or even more than the typical, boring positives alone.
In her latest movie, Angelina Jolie is Salt – Evelyn Salt, a tight-skirted CIA official who is accused of being a Russian spy. I think the name Salt is well chosen since common names like Evelyn Maharaj or even Evelyn Kathiravelupillai would hardly attract the traditional spy movie crowd. The most popular movie spies over the years were characters with simple names like James Bond and Jason Bourne since the popcorn munching multitudes are usually incapable of remembering long names during complex plots. Apart from the traditional spy names being easy to remember, the names usually pointed, in subtle ways, to important aspects of the spies’ character. Jason Bourne sounds like Jason Born, an amnesiac spy who is unaware of his murdering past so he unknowingly becomes a guilt-free, born-again truth seeker. James Bond, a more experienced, gadget toting secret agent tries to bond with all attractive females from several nations in two hours without any diplomatic or emotional fallout.
I can only speculate what the name Salt will have on our subconscious. I suppose if she’s on a table we might think of her as Table Salt or when she gets old and hard, Rock Salt. In the mandatory Mediterranean bikini spy scene she would be considered Sea Salt. During those steamy love scenes we may think of her as tasty but Salty. If she happens to be Jewish then she will become Evelyn Kosher Salt.
I predict the Salt movies will have a long and successful future because Evelyn Salt will be a great enhancement to the male dominated spy movie world. A sexy female can do little wrong on the big screen with the right skirt and cheekbones.
“You are the last of your kind, all that remains of a once powerful nation” ~ from The Last Airbender
For the Summer of 2010, or as we in Trinidad and Tobago are fond of saying, for The Rainy Season, Paramount Pictures and Nickelodeon Movies will release M. Night Shayamalan’s latest flick, The Last Airbender. The movie was originally called Avatar: The Last Airbender which is the name of the animated TV series the movie is based but after James Cameron rushed and named his movie Avatar, the production houses dropped Avatar from the name in order not to have Cameron ride Shayamalan’s back for free. Shayamalan’s Last Airbender stars Jackson Rathbone, Dev Patel, Cliff Curtis, Nicola Peltz, Randall Duk Kim, Jessica Andres and many more too numerous to cut and paste into this bog post. The movie is not without controversy as the original TV series Avatar: The Last Airbender “is set in an Asian-influenced world of Chinese martial arts and elemental manipulation” but the movie’s cast is mainly white. This angered pro-Asian people and I suppose the movie was made to make money more than anything.
The Last Airbender is opening on the 4th of July weekend in the US and was recently promoted with a high-price TV ad spot during the Superbowl . I am not sure what the production cost is for The Last Airbender but it looks like quite a few million dollars US but less than the cost of one Chinese NAPA. Unlike NAPA, The Last Airbender seems set to be enjoyed by millions plus make some money.
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I found Zoe Saldana so hot in Avatar I missed how complex the plot was. Most people who saw Avatar left the cinema with a deep sense of awe and revenge. I went away that as well but mainly with wondering why more women are not shaped like Neytiri .
Avatar is a special effects movie which builds to a climax where, like nearly every action movie, the cigar-smoking, macho bad guy is killed in a way to make the audience feel so good they would recommend the movie to friends. Avatar is different though, because it is a pro-forest, pro-native, anti-exploitation, anti-corporation movie with special effects that cost more than the Haiti earthquake relief effort. But Avatar was made, not to rake in over a billion dollars at the box office or to win awards, but to teach the world why we must not cut down trees or become greedy corporation bastards seeking wealth and fame.
Moral issues aside, the star of Avatar was Zoe Saldana aka Neytiri, the sexiest girl on Pandora but who is more concerned with saving the forest and falling for and then having sex with an Avatar than going to nightclubs or Planet Earth. Zoe Saldana has proven over the years she is an extremely good actress but I am wondering if nominations should go to Zoe or to her computer-transformed character, Neytiri. I hope Zoe in Avatar is not treated like an animated character by the awards people because the acting was mostly real and only the feminine proportions were enhanced a bit – but isn’t plastic surgery also a type of special effect.
Zombieland Poster
As the name suggests, the movie Zombieland is a profound, horror-comedy, love story gone right. Zombieland is filled with flesh-eating humor minus the nudity which is the best recipe for attracting young people to the cinema, a people who would rather be shocked into laughter than think. Zombieland reminds me of Drag Me To Hell, another excellent, comedy-horror flick that probably has a deep message hidden within the special effects. However, the message in Zombieland is upfront, and that message is this; take time conquer your fears so that you can enjoy the edible things in life like a fresh Twinkie or a bad girl. Though, Zombieland is not Jennifer’s Body, I prefer Megan Fox in a short skirt than Wichita in a tight jeans. Sexy is in the eyes of the blogger.
Jennifer's Body is Hot
Inglourious Basterds poster
Inglourious Basterds, and not Inglorious Bastards, is a movie which touches the hearts of men and women over 16 who always wanted to smash the brains out of a Nazis skull but couldn’t find a suitable baseball bat in Nazi-occupied France during the war. Inglourious Basterds is genius director, Quentin Tarantino’s latest way of offending the conventional moviegoers with blood and brains set to inappropriate music and Brad Pitt.
The movie takes the audience on a trip back to the time when people were judged and killed because of their religion and looks. Tarantino prescribes the suitable revenge on the Nazis through Lt. Aldo Raine (Brad Pitt), an American soldier who prefers to say Inglourious Basterds since it’s the American accent way. Inglourious Basterds has been described as a dark, gruesome comedy by some and a mild love story by those whose head got stuck in the popcorn bag for too long during the show. The movie was made not only to point out what the Nazis did to the Jews was bad but to also show arrogant leaders they could never have too much security they can trust at the movies.
Inglourious Basterds is an Oscar worthy movie since it contains some of the key Oscar-winning characteristics – WWII. I thought in Trinidad and Tobago, Quentin Tarantino would not have many adult followers but the cinema was packed with Brad Pitt fans last Thursday. There was even clapping at the end. Despite Brad Pitt’s award-winning performance, Christoph Waltz may be the Joker who stole the show from Mr. Pitt. Mélanie Laurent and Diane Kruger were only two women in the movie that had a little action in high heels and no sex. Tarantino may be obnoxious but he is very self-critical when he voiced his opinion of the movie through the voice of Lt. Aldo Raine in the last line saying : You know somethin’, Utivich? I think this might just be my masterpiece. I think he is right.
Megan Fox become a sex symbol seconds after she opened the bonnet of the old, yellow, American car that was overheating in the movie Transformers. This bonnet-opening scene has since become a classic and permanently featured in the dreams of those fabled creatures called decent men. It was also the scene which pushed Angelina Jolie from the top of the sex symbol list and to get a tattoo upgrade. There were no special effects or cryptic back tattoos in that scene but only raw, sensual curves shot from all the right angles. If there was ever an ad to promote sex symbolism it would be the Megan Fox Transformer overheating engine scene and nothing to do with Angelina Jolie’s back . I would argue that Transformers was successful only because of the hot Megan Fox and not because of the guy who also starred with her. His name fails me right now.
For a girl to become a sex symbol there must be consensus by the mass media and especially by that new mass media called blogs. Fortunately, this blog overwhelmingly votes for Megan Fox, not only to be a sex symbol, but to be the #1 sex symbol of 2009 and constantly in my wildest dreams.
I don’t think there is any one reason why the masses find Megan Fox sexy but certainly her easy to read tattoos help. Some women have their sex appeal enhanced by tattoos while others turn to body piercings and silicone. I would estimate that 90% of a woman’s sex appeal she is born with and 10% comes from highlighting the natural 90% on the screen, in night clubs, on the beach and in blogs. The paparazzi and blogs have contributed in a big way to the popularity of the modern celebrity and “leaked” photos and sex tapes have become part of the hype building.
Drag Me to Hell might be what the average citizen thinks the politicians are doing to them right now but it is really marks Spiderman’s director, Sam Raimi, return to the horror genre. Drag Me to Hell is one of the best movies I have seen in years and yet has no nudity, but it does have cat sacrifice implied. The movie is classified as horror and thriller but it is also a very funny movie. The MPAA in the US has rated Drag Me to Hell as PG-13 for sequences of horror, terror, disturbing images and language but I thought they were talking about Pro Max’s recent performance.
Yes, Drag Me to Hell is hilarious but it is not for those with a high coronary risk factor or afraid of being afraid. The movie has most of the ingredients for a good modern horror- a fly, a cat, a curse, a pretty girl, a goat, and a cutlass. Drag Me to Hell gets an A+ for entertainment value but it also gets an A for lessons learnt. Two of the most important lessons people will take from this movie are obvious ones – (a) always give old gypsy women an extension on their mortgages and (b) if you have to dig up a grave at night during a thunderstorm, make sure you have the right envelope.
If you don’t spill popcorn or Coke on the head of the person in the seat in front of you a few time during the movie, and laugh while doing it you should seriously considered seeing a good undertaker.
Enjoy The Show!
Star is one of the eight short, made-for-the-Internet-for-BMW movies from the 2001/2002 BMW, Hire series. Star starred Madonna and Clive Owen and was directed by her ex, Guy Richie. The movie uncharacteristically portrays Madonna as a bitch who is taught a lesson in the back seat of a BMW M5. Clive Owen is his usual, cool self and drives the M5 like the average Trini drives on back streets. BMW made these movies to highlight what BMW cars could do if Clive Owen but not Owen Wilson drove them. But mainly, the movies were made to show, like sex, there is no need for more than ten minutes. Anything more is just padding to justify the outrageous price.
While we wait for clan member, Pro Max, to send us his Speedo photos from destination x, I decided to post some photos of Angelina Jolie’s tattoos as seen in the movie, Wanted. I take the risk of being removed from the integrity shortlist by posting this animated file I snapped together but at least I didn’t try to fool people into thinking I took these photos of Angelina last, or any night.
I think the entire movie was made just so that this scene could be included. I don’t know the relevance of the scene to the movie or understand the code of the tattoos but I enjoyed looking at it very much.
Angelina Jolie is not only a great actress but a great canvas for art. I can see why Mr. Pitt was swayed the way he was.
I hope the animated file was not distracting and you eventually found the time to read these pointless words.
Zoe Yadira Zaldaña Nazario or Zoe Saldana, is the new Uhura in the latest installment of Star Trek due to open on May 8th 2009. She is both beautiful and sexy which reduced the need for special effects and makeup in the movie. I can’t say I remembered Zoe or Zoë from any of her previous movies such as Vantage Point and After Sex because I had not seen them. Now they are on my list.
I snitched the follow from Wikipedia about Zoe :
Zoe Saldana was born in New Jersey on June 19th 1978 to Dominican Republic parents. She is of Lebanese, Indian, Irish, and Jamaican descent. She was raised in Queens, New York, and her first languages are English and Spanish. When Zoe was nine, her father died in a car accident, and her mother moved with Zoe and Zoe’s sisters to the Dominican Republic. There, Zoe enlisted in a ballet class at one of the most prestigious dancing schools in the country, gaining experience as a dancer, which benefited her later for her role in Center Stage. She returned to the United States after her sophomore year in high school and enrolled in the Faces Theater Program, an acting course.
This Beach Called Life - aka_lol's blog 
