How to Buy a Chinese Chopper


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Like the majority of the population, I often wonder which is the best Chinese chopper to buy since the variety available on Amazon is enough to confuse the most stable of minds regardless of the 7% low oil price tax. Not having a Chinese chopper or Vetsin in my kitchen for a number of years I decided ask the experts,  namely the cooks at many of the almost countless Chinese restaurants in the country springing up like CEPEP gangs.  What I didn’t realize was how not passionate these cooks are about what they chop things with. “Is just ah wok” one of them told me. One of the cooks I spoke to asked not to be identified and said” I just buys them on Charlotte Street. Sometimes I buys half a dozen wontime.” When I pressed him for a brand he looked confused and said Levi. He then showed me one of his choppers and the device had no brand name but only the words “made in China, where else” stamped on one side.  The chopper looked dull and confused, much like the cooks who used them. Several other Chinese cooks were not as helpful and thought I just wanted to get them deported. I told them in this country the furthest they will get deported to is Tunapuna.

I eventually gave up on the “local input” and realized that the reviews on Amazon will be more helpful. Naturally, I went with a cheap one with scores of good reviews. I will soon be the proud owner of a multipurpose chopper wastefully bought with scarce US dollars the Minister would prefer go to the party financiers.

To Debate or Not to Debate is not even a Question


debateTrinidad and Tobago is a comical place and it’s not just because the name of the country is so long there is not enough space on many of its own official Forms to accommodate its spelling. No, it is funny because of the amount of people who operate in their own little vacuums all over the place. People who swear their vacuum is the the right vacuum and the best one. Take the so-called Debates Commission vacuum. This Commission is trying to get at least the two most likely potential leaders to debate “issues affecting the Country” on the same day. When I read the daily hullabaloo in the content-starved daily media about the ups and downs of staging this sideshow you would swear this Great Debate would be very influential in influencing the public in deciding which hangman will pull the leaver. Grow up Debates Commission, this is Trinidad and Tobago where people decide which party they voting long before they are even conceived. Besides, politicians always say the the nicest things possible when General Elections is in the air so who needs this sweet talk and cheap talk moderated on live TV by people who most likely don’t even know what the daily life in Biche or Icacos is really like or that these towns even exist. Just tell us who the major shareholders are for each party and we good to go.

Trinidad and Tobago Elections 2015 – Who to Vote for


This is how we voting

THIS IS HOW WE VOTING in 2015

It is the election season in in Trinidad and Tobago once again and like Christmas of late, I just can’t seem to get into the spirit. Also like Christmas, I have only just realized there is no Santa Clause and too much ham is not good for you. A General Elections in Trinidad and Tobago gives the country hope but with the certified bunch of jokers (politicians) offering themselves to the public like a desperate  prostitute on a Friday night on the Avenue, there is little good to hope for. Tempting after a gallon of rum but deadly for your health. Still, we must exercise our civic duty and vote for, not the best party for the country but the best party for you.

Election season is a time when we must forget the past and think about our future, according to failed politicians and the political parties they represent. For me, I can’t forget the past so I think the future is mostly hopeless. But God is a Trini and loves us for our pan, jam, whine, Shark and Bake, and Ali’s Doubles. But, God and love aside we must make our finger count on Election Day so I have thought of a few issues that may sway a voter to one of the many political parties burdening the public with a choice.

Here are the issues which politicians must have a firm view on else they will be branded wishy-washy or spineless:

(1) Legalizing of marijuana

(2) Legalizing of Gay marriages

(3) Repeal of blasphemy laws

(4) Jack Warner

(5) The insanely low price of gasoline

(6) The insanely low price of electricity

(7) The insanely low price for water

(8) No land and building tax

(9) Keeping people dependent on handouts to get elected

(10) Selling shares in a political party and paying dividends in the form of government awarded contracts

(11) Board members lying about qualifications

(12) Selecting incompetent Board Members and the reappointing them

(13) Making lawyer friends rich for no good reason

(14) Science and mathematics education

(15) Scientific research

(16) The glut of ACCA, Management, MBA and LLB graduates

(17) The shortage of science, mathematics and engineering graduates from real Universities

(18) The useless Information Technology degrees from so-called higher learning institutions (UWI is the only one with a real IT degree)

(19) The intolerable light pollution situation

(20) Victimization of people who look like they from the other party

(21) RaspberryPi in schools

(22) God and atheist

(23) Shortage of affordable housing for middle income earners

(24) Middle income earners

(25) Under employment

(26) Murder, corruption and box drains

If I can think of more I will post them. Ideas from readers are also welcome.

Jack to Learn New Trade


jackLocal personality, charming politician, and football fiend, Jack Warner, said to his tens of thousands of followers and detractors last night at the airport that corruption built,”I’ll be back.” Mr Warner, a self-made self-terminator, was about to get on a flight bound to a land not too far away. He was accompanied by armed security guards who will ensure he gets to his final destination safely.

Many were sad while many were glad. “You could say what yuh want, Jack could run he mouth,” said one supporter clad in a spent-green tee-shirt. A detractor dressed in bright yellow swore a little too casually about how Jack used to be good until he turned green. Panday, a one-time very close friend and an almost-enemy of Jack, and now a career political dead-horse, said he wanted to hug Jack but felt he might get, or even be, carried away. Ramesh, another popular, fulltime dead-horse and professional  opportunist thinks Mr. Warner was misunderstood by those who liked him and fully understood by investigators.

A noticeable chunk of the general election economy will be seriously hit by Mr. Warner’s sudden departure as mike men, tee-shirt makers and green paint suppliers start to count their losses. When the leader of the Opposition was asked to comment he simply said “I told you so.” The Prime Minister did not immediately return calls for a comment from this blog but shortly after released a brief statement saying “Jack Who?”

https://akalol.wordpress.com/2013/04/29/jack-will-be-history-in-the-future/

Corruption in Trinidad and Tobago – An Overview


It takes two to fuel corruption, the corrupter and the corruptee and just like the chicken and the egg no one knows for sure who came first but many are glad they are both here. I often wonder what Trinidad and Tobago would be like without corruption. Would there be as many high-price condos, Benz, Beamers, Jaguars, Audis, Porsches, Range Rovers, highways, box drains, flights to the US, high foreign exchange demands, happiness and scantily clad women on the scene. Would there even be a national stadium much less a big abandoned one down South. Would the churches even get as much forgiveness money and the millions to thank their gods for the wealth?

Corruption is a striving industry in Trinidad and Tobago and it is many things to many people and everything to some politicians. It is the way some public servants can face wealthy business men without the shame of overdue mortgage payments and middle-class poverty hanging over their heads. Corruption is possibly nature’s way of leveling a playing field or building an airport. It is always good to speak out on corruption and probably almost as good as getting away with it. The institutions to prevent or discourage corruption in this country are incorruptible and without the boosterless brakes they provide, corruption would not be as sophisticated as it is today.

The politicians like to suggest on the political stage that without corruption there will be more money for schools, teachers, poverty and drugs but without corruption there might not be a single person willing to get into politics. Corruption brings hope to not only the politician, the businessman, and the public servant, but to the nation and the better investigative journalists. Corruption not only feeds us, it entertains us on Sunday. It provides legal fees to half-dead lawyers and their lawyer friends. It gives the underpaid lawyers in the DPP’s office more work than they can handle. It is probably the predicted growth in the corruption industry which prompted the building of a huge law school down south. Corruption is addictive and any attempt to stop it will cause bribes to be paid to unstop it. Like fleas and ticks corruption is nearly impossible to get rid of and sucks our blood to stay alive.

Trinidad and Tobago Government Gives Population Buns


Hot Cross Buns - From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Hot Cross Buns – From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

The Government of Trinidad and Tobago has declared 2015 The year of the Hot Crossed Buns and in marking the occasion Hot Crossed Buns will be distributed through the country to every citizen and visitor, both legal and illegal. Naturally, a contract has been awarded to a new but mysterious baking company called Sistrum. This blog was reliably informed that it was only on Monday the Government went out to tender for the Manufacture and National Distribution of Hot Crossed Buns with an Extra Cross (Double Crossed Buns). The tender was evaluated on Tuesday and awarded the same day. Only one bid was received (Sistrum) and was said to meet and exceed all the requirements of the bun specification including the raisins per bun, thickness of the crosses, minimum bun diameter, amazing golden color and mouth-watering smell. The whole process was transparent.

A spokes person for Sistrum said the buns will be the first thing they ever bake and they already had the conveyor belts used in a quarry to crush local stones. It was only last week Sistrum received 1000 mega-large ovens from China and a Hot Cross Bun expert. Asked how come they had the ovens and an expert on order the spokes person said it was just plain luck and they like to order all kinds of things all the time. The contract is said to be worth tens of millions of dollars given the price of Hot Cross Buns on the international market. The established large bakeries in the country think there is something fishy about the whole deal but a Sistrum executive says this was probably due to the Lenten season. When the Minister of Finance was asked where the money will be coming from to fund the buns he simply said “eat yuh bun and shut up nah.” When further pressed about the unprecedented short time (one day) for the tender he said in any country emergencies happen and items such as buns must be procured at short notice. Asked if the supply of buns was a national emergency he simply said “no bun, no fun.”

The Prime Minister, in a short release from her office, said that every man, woman and child will be given buns and people should not worry too much about the award of the contract or how much taxpayers dollars Sistrum will be getting but instead enjoy and savor the flavor of the hot, hot cross buns. The army, police, NGOs, gang leaders and Jack Warner will be given the task on ensuring an equitable distribution of the baked goods. The man-on-the-street has applauded this latest Government initiative and has cancelled orders for buns from bakeries such as Linda’s, St. Mary’s and Kiss . “We like how de government moving and everybody is entitled to freeness like  education, box drains, tablets, lap tops and buns and thing. We hope we getting Easter Egg too nex year and turkey for thanks giving.”

Don’t Stop The Party


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Prominent Trinidad and Tobago attorney and Senior Council Dana Seetahal was murdered in Woodbrook, Trinidad and Tobago on May 14th 2014. A gunman pumped five bullets into her while she was on her way home and since that time Trinidad and Tobago’s finest have been investigating and beating man on wheelchair. No one, as far as the public knows, have been arrested for the murder and no motive for the crime was ever suggested by the police. However, criminologists have suggested the wheelchair beating was caused by a collective momentary dip in IQ of the officers involved while others have been wondering what IQ. Nevertheless, without the help of the police, the public has a fodder of theories as to why Dana Seetahal was murdered but the only thing we know for sure are those Big Men of Crime in the country can get away with anything. Don’t stop the Party.

A Google search for Trinidad Orange Juice cocaine will have in the top five listing at least one article where we are reminded that on December 2013 around $US 100 million of one of our local favorites was discovered stuffed into Trinidad Orange Juice cans and seized by US authorities. The public instinctively felt this case would go cold as it surely must have involved the Big Men of Crime in the country. Don’t stop the Party.

I wonder if our current Minister of National Security can assure the public, with action rather than words or emotion, that the Big Men of Crime in this country are being actively dealt with. The public of Trinidad and Tobago has always felt that Big Men and Big Politicians are one and the same so there never will be any motivation for any investigation much less arrest.

We all know it doesn’t matter who is elected into power as Big money speaks louder than little integrity. Who can stop that Party?

Drone Fetes Trinidad Style


short shorts

short shorts

Ask any Pakistani where is a good place to put a drone and the last place they would come up with would be a cooler fete in south Trinidad. But since most fete promoters are not genuine Pakistanis, a drone was employed to take aerial shots of one such fete. As luck would have it, this drone, probably dropping low to get a better view of a woman with nearly no top or shorts or both, lost control and struck a patron on his head causing a several-stitch type injury. However, eyewitnesses said that it was some stupid patrons who started to pelt the drone, possibly thinking it was from the Gary Griffith future crime plan. which caused the crash. Another unsubstantiated report says the drone had cheap batteries which failed when called on to perform.

Crash or no crash, the future of both policing and fete promotion lies on the wings of drones. Drones will be as common as political hot air and just like a new Jack Warner walk about, it will go unnoticed. Future fetes will be streamed live via an unauthorized drones swooping low and making privacy a thing of the past. The shootouts of the future between rival gangs or gangs and police may take the form of a drone war and drive by shootings will be replaced by fly by ones. But right now, everything is up in the air.

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Saying a Prayer for The National Week of Prayer in Trinidad and Tobago


Praying_mantis_indiaThe prayers of the people of Trinidad and Tobago are working and as proof of this the head of the IRO said things could have been worse. What more proof do we need. Because of this revelation I would like support the IRO and Government of this semi-blessed land of Trinidad and Tobago and urge people to pray, not just more, but better. People should now pray 24/7 rather than at bedtime or during a hold up.  A newspaper reported the Prime Minister saying “Pray in whatever way you know. When you pray from the heart, God listens.” Which probably explains the high murder rate and confiscated cans of local orange juice.

I am thankful that the error in my praying has been identified and my prayers will now be heartfelt and focused. I will pray that all political parties be exorcised of drug smugglers, money launderers, bribe payers, bribe takers, pimps, wife beaters, child abusers, the power hungry and those dotish people who think fiction is fact. I will pray that no drugs exported from this country ever be be intercepted. I pray that nobody from our land is extradited to the US to face drug smuggling charges but instead be kept in this murderous and treacherous land called Trinidad and Tobago to face the righteous music and curry duck dished out by our AG and friends.I know my prayers will be acted on by the One who normally listens since this time the prayers would be from the heart and not the intestine as in previous cases. My bad.

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Fishing for Orange Juice in Trinidad and Tobago


Trinidad Orange Juice - a Trinidad and Tobago Icon

Trinidad Orange Juice – a Trinidad and Tobago Icon

Ever since it was discovered in the US that 700 cans of Trinidad orange juice had cocaine hidden inside, the citizens and well wishers of Trinidad and Tobago became anxious and with baited breath are still waiting to know who the true exporter of this juice really is. Surely this must be the work of the mysterious and elusive Mr. Big.  Could this be the moment we have been waiting for donkey’s years?  Mr Big is the mythical and probably real figure who hides in plain sight among the commoners and dignitaries alike.He is the local drug kingpin with powers that would be the envy of any politician or leader. In fact legend says he is, and has always been, the real ruler of the land for countless years.  Mr. Big is the local Keyser Söze.

Some say he started with bags but others say foreign used cars or maybe scotch. Nobody really knows. With things going a little astray overseas recently, the hidden ruler and master of the local drug world is calling on all his politician friends on all sides, to defend him against the foreign, evil oppressors who find his juice in poor taste.  The population is skeptical that Big would ever be caught and identity ever known because of his connections in high places. Naturally, most feel the manufacturer of the juice is not the exporter of the coke and the one who will be charged might be a headless sardine in the cesspit of the local drug trade.

I think it was in very poor taste that the exporter would risk tarnishing the image of a product that is iconic to Trinidad and Tobago and loved by all. As a country, we should stand up against those who want to get rich regardless who or which country they destroy on the way. And if for no other reason Big or Sardine make ah jail it should be for tarnishing the image of the nation for a few big cars and rolly polly women.

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Trinidad and Tobago Unofficial Budget 2013-2014


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INTRODUCTION

Mr Speaker, before I begin I want to acknowledge an immense debt of gratitude to the Prime Minister whose astute leadership has caused the PP to not only win not one damn seat in the Tobago House of Assembly elections but also to lose the Chaguanas West by-election in the UNC heartland to the more astute Jack Warner by a big, big margin. By doing this she distinguishes our public affairs and has created the conditions for higher levels of confidence in our economy and society. Ent?

THINGS ARE GROWING AS WE SPEAK

Our economy is growing. Inflation is down. We have lowered food prices, a matter which was impacted this year by the removal of the VAT on food such as red beans in cans – a Sunday staple in homes with food, and canned mini chicken hotdogs which, I am told, might assist in causing cancer due to its high nitrate content. But not to worry as we are once again promising to build an oncology (cancer treatment) centre but more on that oldie but goodie later. I just want to add that the economy is growing along with the bank accounts of the select few.

BRIBES

Mr. Speaker, the issue of Government’s procurement mechanism has been outstanding for too long. This, as you can well imagine, is a mechanism which will make the awarding of favours to party shareholder and the chosen few a bit more difficult. Needless to say, this will not go down well with the up and coming briber and bribees but I am sure there will be the customary loopholes cleverly fitted into the act thus continuing to make politics an attractive field for the scum at heart.

LAND AND BUILDING TAX IN YOUR…

Mr. Speaker, if there was one phrase which one can be called misguided it will be that ominous and overused phrase “axe the tax.” Off the record I want to say that we are an under-taxed nation and are too damn happy, yes. Still off the record, I want to commend  the former PM for understanding the concept that one can never truly own something physical and it is at the states pleasure one is allowed to say so. Now back to the budget. All I want to add to this topic is that we, your most loved and adored Government, will ensure your property is fully taxed despite promises of my predecessor. This tax will be designed so that you will wish you had opted to squat instead of purchase. First, the tax will be gentle and the same as you left it then it will rise to a point where instead of planning your little vacation to Mayaro, Tobago or Florida you will be planning to pay tax and more tax. This measure will ensure that there is enough money to maintain and exceed the current levels of skulduggery in government. Remember, what the well-off always says to the poor – Happiness is a state of mind not the pocket.

HIGH QUALITY JOBS

Mr. Speaker, do you know what a high quality job is? Well, Speaker of the House might be one even if you are not your own boss. However, in my books, a high quality job is one where one is paid quite a few million on leaving a top post at a financial institution only to pick up the one as Minister of Finance, another high quality job. But since most in this country will never be able to be so blessed, we have decided to use the term high quality jobs to define jobs that are not CEPEP.  Any way, we created a few of these high quality jobs and if you have one of those then good luck with it. Wasn’t RBC retrenching people and creating high quality jobs? It’s all about the spin. I kid you not.

GASOLINE VEHICLES CONVERSION TO CNG

Mr. Speaker, this topic is now a long-standing joke and a good one at that. However, I think this latest attempt will be fruitful as billions of tax payers’ dollars are being spent on new company which will attract the right financial talent. Need I say more?

CRIME DOES PAY WELL

The problems witnessed in the recent upsurge in crime are created by those who have made deliberate life decisions to make a decent living by becoming high quality criminals. Crime, in this land of equal opportunity, is really a risk-free endeavor, unlike other activities like driving PH taxis or walking down the street. Fortunately for citizens we,on both sides of this house, know how profitable this life of crime can be and so as to reduce unemployment to lower levels than the current stated and boasted about low level, the government may offer potential criminals a greater incentive to branch out into other similar activities like politics. We intend to open up the field of crime to any citizen who show a passion for the art form of politics.

Mr. Speaker, the Government has continued to roll out its own CCTV network so as to appear as if it’s doing something to make our streets safer. What I can’t say in this speech is if this initiative is working, if the cameras are monitored by high quality people or even if they are connected to something. Crime is a profitable field as any contractor who was awarded contracts from the government knows. We will continue to make crime our top priority and crime contractors can rest assured their bread will continue to be generously buttered by the government using taxpayers’ dollars.

HOUSING FOR THE CHOSEN

This one is once again a no-brainer and that is why there is always a big in-fight as to who will get to be the Minister. But I digress needlessly. Mr. Speaker, this government is always concerned about votes and houses and the two go hand in hand. What I do want to say however is that this government will pay for most of your higher education but will not even lift a finger to ensure you, the middle income professional, can afford a house. To hell with those who expect the government to care about these couple thousand votes. Besides, there are big big people who will rent you a home in a crime hotspot for anywhere between $5000 to $8000 a month. That is the policy in a conch shell.

 HEALTH AND DEATH

Mr. Speaker, most of us here will be healthier if we were to lose a few pounds, drink a four or five fewer, smoked a couple packs less and walk a little more. Our health policy should be revolving around providing crime-free green spaces for jogging, walking, and cycling instead of mouthing that nice politically sounding phrase – building new hospitals. But, in order to get votes we must give the people both their poison and their antidote. So, we aim to build more hospitals so that more citizens can get sick and seek medical attention at the same time. We will put aside plenty money for this initiative.

EDUCATION AND DANCING

In a nutshell, Mr. Speaker, the major education imitative of this Government can be summarized in one word, laptops. And not just laptops but laptops handed out by our astute leader so as to try to get votes. Mr. Speaker, though laptops are popular in the schools I am led to understand lap dances are nearly as popular these days.

 TOURISM IN A FEW WORDS

Mr. Speaker, Trinidad and Tobago is a nice place and despite the street crime, traffic and floods that creep up on you like a thief in the night, we do expect tourist to flock to this country. Don’t ask me why cause I don’t know.

AGRICULTURE

Mr. Speaker, we propose to plant more in Trinidad and Guyana thus making no one happy. However, Mr. Speaker, once we find a way to make the select few party shareholders rich, we will allocate more funds to this so-called critical sector.

 HIGHWAYS

Mr. Speaker, who elected Kublalsingh?

The END

Mr. Speaker, there should be much more to say but the same things are said every budget and like nearly all budgets of the past, these words are empty. I can’t stress how grateful I am to present this statement of wishes. Thank you and see you soon.

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U.N.C Warned


papers2Article 1:

Despite hundreds of thousands of dollars from the usual sources pumped into the by-election campaign, the ruling party lost  by a margin that makes huge look small.  As the results started to come in just after eight last night, loud screams of pleasure could be heard throughout the country as it became apparent that Mr. Warner was beating the U.N.C along with their arrogance, vindictiveness and dignitaries to a proverbial pulp. Though the majority of citizens were not entitled to vote in the by-election they were satisfied that the people in power (PIP) was being taught the lesson they refused to learn over the last few years.

newspaper

Article 2:

A very embarrassed and slightly tipsy P.M. has blamed her election loss on the the abundance of those flashing blue lights on her dignitaries’ Prados. She theorized that those blue lights had a negative effect on voters in the Chaguanas West constituency causing them to see green instead of yellow at the polling stations. She however thanked family and friends appointed in those select positions for all their loyal support. The P.M. was also high in praise for the party’s many loyal contractors for their donations which were used to prop up failing newspapers rather than feed the poor or buy blankets for the homeless. “Serve the contractors, serve the contractors, serve the contractors” she was heard to mutter in between sips.

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Who will lose the Chaguanas West by-election


t-shirt-loser-blackDespite all the learned talk, the Chaguanas West by-elections is not about good governance since the average citizen of this country has no idea what that means or care to Google it. The successful candidate in this election, aka voters’ choice, will be the person who the majority wants to be in charge of their most primal need, the need for proper box drains. We are a country, despite possessing valuable natural resources for decades, are still dreaming of having big box drains in our communities with water flowing so fast that it will have no time to turn green or mine fish.  What voters have come to realize is that whenever Parliament meets it is to decide, after all is said and done, how proper box drains will be distributed throughout the country.

We as a country complain publicly about the high crime rate, Clico and HCU thieves, corrupt people in government, low IQ people in the media and stray bullets in our living room since those are the things every living human must complain about in the open. However, those public concerns are not our real concerns as we realize they are like bachac, impossible to get rid of safely. For citizens of this country our box drain life is like our sex life in that we don’t talk about it publicly unless it is damn good.

In choosing a box drain leader, the people of Chaguanas West will have to go with their guts. We all know that Jack, the owner and CEO of the Independent Liberal Party’s (ILP), has listened to more box drain woes from citizens of this blessed land than any person on the planet.  Because of his compassion for the box-drain-challenged, Jack is considered by many to be the foremost box drain authority in the country and probably the entire universe. I am not sure how much Kadija, the United National Congress (UNC) candidate, actually knows about box drains but she has been campaigning in the area with the Prime Minister, giving out gift boxes which might be symbolic of both future box drains and empty promises inside. Avinash, the Peoples National Movement (PNM)’s candidate, is a farmer and because of his party’s track record may prefer to build an aluminum smelter or church with state funds.  Regardless of the victor in these elections there will be fireworks on the night the results are known with the country being the biggest loser.

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The Latest Cigarette Advertisement in Trinidad and Tobago


Cigarette Advertising in Trinidad and Tobago

Cigarette Advertising in Trinidad and Tobago

According to the Ministry of Health’s website:

17. Does the Tobacco Control Act really prohibit advertising? Under which circumstances is advertising of tobacco products allowed?

Indeed, the Tobacco Control Act has placed prohibitions against advertising.

There are, however, some limitations to the prohibitions:

A person may advertise a tobacco product by information advertising or brand preference advertising by way of:

a. A publication that is provided by mail and addressed to an adult smoker who is identified by name.

b. A publication that has an adult readership of not less than eighty –five per cent (85%)

c. Signs in a place where children (under 18 years) are not permitted by law.

Please note that these allowances do not apply to lifestyle advertising* or advertising that could be construed on reasonable grounds to be appealing to children.

The loophole which the eager-for-revenue local newspaper people might use in carrying this cigarette ad is that children don’t read much anymore and children see newspapers as a legacy product waiting to become extinct.

I, an adult by age, was drawn to this ad and my initial reaction was “so cheap.” No doubt this latest salvo by a clever company had more than the bland informational effect it was supposed to theoretically have. I almost had the urge to run down to the nearest dealer and start my addiction while I still had a few extra dollars. Though cigarettes are at the top of the list of addictions that will quite likely kill you in several ways, so to does alcohol, fried chicken, corn curls, cell phones, fast cars, promiscuous shapely women and political parties.

I don’t think this cigarette newspaper ad was necessary and it was in very poor taste. All that was needed was the dealers carry a pamphlet with the new prices which informs the addicted why they are paying more for their own tragic demise. Why should the nonsmoker also  have to know about the latest price increase while being tempted to look cool with minty breath? Greed for increased profits at the expense of human life is usually the answer.

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

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Jack will be History in the Future


jack-goneOur local history textbooks of the very distant future will say how Jack Warner was a somewhat good man but misunderstood by tens of millions worldwide, including Andrew Jennings, Camini Marajh and a several investigators. Jack would be compared to Robin Hood even though he never shot an arrow or stole from any one person. He would be portrayed in some books as an urban legend, a mythical figure who the skeptical skeptics would say, despite photographs, political speeches and audit reports, never existed. Such kindness and cunning could never lie in the heart of the same man, they would say. The books will present scores of photos showing Jack handing over cheque after cheque to delighted people who worshiped him as a God with money.

History will say he was a man known for his willingness to build box drains for the poor and downtrodden. The books will acknowledge that despite his many flaws and law suits, he would eternally be known for his ability to listen to the problems of the frustrated on a weekly basis and act appropriately, unlike the other Members of Parliament who rose to legendary dignitary status after winning an election. Jack Warner will be known as a man who did some right but no wrong locally.

Like all urban legends, Jack will linger on minds of both the mindful and mindless. His parting would be seen to be an aborted reentry by his friends and backstabbers alike since the Prime Minister could no longer fake ignorance of one man’s deeds twice in one term.

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