This a fictitious interview between President Elect Barack Obama and that devilish blogger, Aka_Lol. The interview was held in the back of the mind of the blogger on the 19th January 2009, the eve of his Inauguration as President. The President Elect was gracious enough to grant the interview and he always wanted to see inside the mind of a blogger. He was disappointed.
AKA: Mr. President Elect, how does it feel to be so close to becoming the most powerful man in the world?
BO: It’s like being a teenager. First they take away your Blackberry then they don’t let you say what is on your mind. Then they watch every move you make and don’t even let you drive or go to the mall. But the good thing is that you don’t get pimples. It feels good I guess.
AKA: So what are your plans immediately after the Inauguration Ceremony?
BO: Would Beyonce be there? Just joking, just joking.
AKA: Mr. President Elect, people have been asking what would be your priorities on assuming office on Wednesday.
BO: I will be removing that portrait of George W. and conducting interviews for a dog but only after I deal with Israel and Hamas. Bastards!
AKA: I understand you are attached to your Blackberry but the Secret Service and your lawyers have advised against it for both security and legal reasons.
BO: Have no fear, I will be out there and I will choose a puzzling name like Aka_Lol, perhaps. Wouldn’t it be nice to declare war via an email or SMS for a change. Seriously, as President I must do not only what is legal but also what is right.
AKA: What are your plans for the economy?
BO: The economy is like a balloon, the more you pump into it the bigger it gets but if you pump too much into it, one pin prick, and it goes out with a bang.
BO: I am saying we need a tougher balloon and less pricks.
AKA: That sounds like a plan. How was your recent vacation in Hawaii?
BO: It was great to be back home and Michelle and the kids had a good rest. One night we lost electricity for a few hours but I slept through the crisis.
AKA: Not signs of things to come, I hope.
The president Elect chuckles cynically and whispers something to a nearby Secret Service Agent while pointing at Aka. Aka looks nervous.
AKA: Women say you are sexy and you are idolized by almost 80% of the US and 95% of the World. Do you think that would work in your favor?
BO: Aka, sexy can be a dangerous asset and like a shaken can of Coca Cola it must be used with caution or else it could blow up in your face.
AKA: How would being a black man affect the Presidency?
BO: I am the son of a black man from Kenya and a white woman from Kansas. I was raised with the help of a white grandfather who survived a Depression to serve in Patton’s Army during World War II and a white grandmother who worked on a bomber assembly line at Fort Leavenworth while he was overseas. I’ve gone to some of the best schools in America and lived in one of the world’s poorest nations. I am married to a black American who carries within her the blood of slaves and slave owners…
AKA: Mr. President Elect, sorry for cutting you short but my blog is waiting for this interview and time is of the essence.
BO: Of course. Blog is life and life is blog.
AKA: You are young, athletic, handsome, charismatic, extremely well educated and possess a six pack. Do you think you have set a new precedent for US presidents and even word leaders?
BO: I hope so, Aka. Part of the problem we face today is a that most World Leaders are so pathetically ugly they wage wars and spend needlessly to get a little attention and show their people who is boss. I am leaps and bounds ahead of the pack in that regard.
AKA: Yes, indeed Mr. President Elect. Do you think Hillary will be an asset to your administration?
BO: We need a woman to bring peace to the world. Women are peaceful by nature.
Both Aka and BO suddenly burst out laughing and in the uproar someone blurts out “What have I done.” Sanity returns to the room.
AKA: Mr. President Elect, do you still smoke?
BO: Only in bed Aka, only in bed.
AKA: Thank you Sir, for your time. Good luck and may the Change be with you and The World.
BO: Thank You.