No Bullies, No Corruption, No Anil

I have no idea if the pro-corruption Life Sport programme will be another straw which will break the Partnership’s back again  but certainly the retention of Anil Roberts will. His supporters say that Anil “does give it to them good” but it seems he cannot take it despite his claims of having a very broad, swimmers back. That is how it is with bullies.

Unfortunately the only things Anil ever brought to this country as a politician was his over inflated ego, delusion of grandeur, bullyism and an oversize mouth. The Prime Minister terminated the Life Sports programme, which came under Mr. Roberts, because the audit report said there were more than several instances of suspected massive corruption. Under the Life Sport programme there were a few hundred million dollars earmarked to keep young teens away from gangs,  crime and political life. Instead the audit report suggests much of this money went into the pockets of the chosen few who, like many before them, craved plundering the Treasury.

Anil Roberts said the termination of the programme will cause poor black boys to suffer but was silent on whether his legendary incompetence as a Minister of Sports made poor black boys happy. This is a disgraceful  national fiasco so why is Anil Roberts thinking twice about resigning but more importantly, why is the Prime Minister afraid to fire him. Fear is weakness.

Trinidad and Tobago Unofficial Budget 2013-2014

INTRODUCTION

Mr Speaker, before I begin I want to acknowledge an immense debt of gratitude to the Prime Minister whose astute leadership has caused the PP to not only win not one damn seat in the Tobago House of Assembly elections but also to lose the Chaguanas West by-election in the UNC heartland to the more astute Jack Warner by a big, big margin. By doing this she distinguishes our public affairs and has created the conditions for higher levels of confidence in our economy and society. Ent?

THINGS ARE GROWING AS WE SPEAK

Our economy is growing. Inflation is down. We have lowered food prices, a matter which was impacted this year by the removal of the VAT on food such as red beans in cans – a Sunday staple in homes with food, and canned mini chicken hotdogs which, I am told, might assist in causing cancer due to its high nitrate content. But not to worry as we are once again promising to build an oncology (cancer treatment) centre but more on that oldie but goodie later. I just want to add that the economy is growing along with the bank accounts of the select few.

BRIBES

Mr. Speaker, the issue of Government’s procurement mechanism has been outstanding for too long. This, as you can well imagine, is a mechanism which will make the awarding of favours to party shareholder and the chosen few a bit more difficult. Needless to say, this will not go down well with the up and coming briber and bribees but I am sure there will be the customary loopholes cleverly fitted into the act thus continuing to make politics an attractive field for the scum at heart.

LAND AND BUILDING TAX IN YOUR…

Mr. Speaker, if there was one phrase which one can be called misguided it will be that ominous and overused phrase “axe the tax.” Off the record I want to say that we are an under-taxed nation and are too damn happy, yes. Still off the record, I want to commend  the former PM for understanding the concept that one can never truly own something physical and it is at the states pleasure one is allowed to say so. Now back to the budget. All I want to add to this topic is that we, your most loved and adored Government, will ensure your property is fully taxed despite promises of my predecessor. This tax will be designed so that you will wish you had opted to squat instead of purchase. First, the tax will be gentle and the same as you left it then it will rise to a point where instead of planning your little vacation to Mayaro, Tobago or Florida you will be planning to pay tax and more tax. This measure will ensure that there is enough money to maintain and exceed the current levels of skulduggery in government. Remember, what the well-off always says to the poor – Happiness is a state of mind not the pocket.

HIGH QUALITY JOBS

Mr. Speaker, do you know what a high quality job is? Well, Speaker of the House might be one even if you are not your own boss. However, in my books, a high quality job is one where one is paid quite a few million on leaving a top post at a financial institution only to pick up the one as Minister of Finance, another high quality job. But since most in this country will never be able to be so blessed, we have decided to use the term high quality jobs to define jobs that are not CEPEP.  Any way, we created a few of these high quality jobs and if you have one of those then good luck with it. Wasn’t RBC retrenching people and creating high quality jobs? It’s all about the spin. I kid you not.

GASOLINE VEHICLES CONVERSION TO CNG

Mr. Speaker, this topic is now a long-standing joke and a good one at that. However, I think this latest attempt will be fruitful as billions of tax payers’ dollars are being spent on new company which will attract the right financial talent. Need I say more?

CRIME DOES PAY WELL

The problems witnessed in the recent upsurge in crime are created by those who have made deliberate life decisions to make a decent living by becoming high quality criminals. Crime, in this land of equal opportunity, is really a risk-free endeavor, unlike other activities like driving PH taxis or walking down the street. Fortunately for citizens we,on both sides of this house, know how profitable this life of crime can be and so as to reduce unemployment to lower levels than the current stated and boasted about low level, the government may offer potential criminals a greater incentive to branch out into other similar activities like politics. We intend to open up the field of crime to any citizen who show a passion for the art form of politics.

Mr. Speaker, the Government has continued to roll out its own CCTV network so as to appear as if it’s doing something to make our streets safer. What I can’t say in this speech is if this initiative is working, if the cameras are monitored by high quality people or even if they are connected to something. Crime is a profitable field as any contractor who was awarded contracts from the government knows. We will continue to make crime our top priority and crime contractors can rest assured their bread will continue to be generously buttered by the government using taxpayers’ dollars.

HOUSING FOR THE CHOSEN

This one is once again a no-brainer and that is why there is always a big in-fight as to who will get to be the Minister. But I digress needlessly. Mr. Speaker, this government is always concerned about votes and houses and the two go hand in hand. What I do want to say however is that this government will pay for most of your higher education but will not even lift a finger to ensure you, the middle income professional, can afford a house. To hell with those who expect the government to care about these couple thousand votes. Besides, there are big big people who will rent you a home in a crime hotspot for anywhere between $5000 to $8000 a month. That is the policy in a conch shell.

 HEALTH AND DEATH

Mr. Speaker, most of us here will be healthier if we were to lose a few pounds, drink a four or five fewer, smoked a couple packs less and walk a little more. Our health policy should be revolving around providing crime-free green spaces for jogging, walking, and cycling instead of mouthing that nice politically sounding phrase – building new hospitals. But, in order to get votes we must give the people both their poison and their antidote. So, we aim to build more hospitals so that more citizens can get sick and seek medical attention at the same time. We will put aside plenty money for this initiative.

EDUCATION AND DANCING

In a nutshell, Mr. Speaker, the major education imitative of this Government can be summarized in one word, laptops. And not just laptops but laptops handed out by our astute leader so as to try to get votes. Mr. Speaker, though laptops are popular in the schools I am led to understand lap dances are nearly as popular these days.

 TOURISM IN A FEW WORDS

Mr. Speaker, Trinidad and Tobago is a nice place and despite the street crime, traffic and floods that creep up on you like a thief in the night, we do expect tourist to flock to this country. Don’t ask me why cause I don’t know.

AGRICULTURE

Mr. Speaker, we propose to plant more in Trinidad and Guyana thus making no one happy. However, Mr. Speaker, once we find a way to make the select few party shareholders rich, we will allocate more funds to this so-called critical sector.

 HIGHWAYS

Mr. Speaker, who elected Kublalsingh?

The END

Mr. Speaker, there should be much more to say but the same things are said every budget and like nearly all budgets of the past, these words are empty. I can’t stress how grateful I am to present this statement of wishes. Thank you and see you soon.

Colour Me Bloody Orange

The Government’s newly launched Colour Me Orange crime and poverty reduction project has a good chance of turning into something called Colour Me Bloody Orange crime escalation and poverty reduction by forced population elimination scheme as there is now every indication this has the makings of a war – first the big stones in the car park then the guns in the streets. What might appear to be a simple weeding job to the casual observer may end up being a weeding out exercise, with the principle being dead men don’t work, though some do get paid. It is true the PP Government is trying to reduce the amount of gold chain snatching and muggings taking place for the season of good will and joy but Colour Me Orange seems like throwing gasoline in the fire where crime is concerned.

The Opposition’s greatest fear is the Project will buy the Government support while that is the Government’s greatest wish. I suppose Government’s policy is to manage gangs rather than eliminate the need for them. Maybe Government has seen the benefits of being in a gang and want to become the leader of the Orange gang, the most feared and ruthless gang since the last Government gang. But every cloud has a silver lining so I decided, in the interest of my economy, to become a community leader and will be accepting members into my gang. All members must be willing to fear me while looking menacing to the general public. Once we, the aka_lol Gang, are deemed to be both a threat to national security and a lost cause we too will qualify for some Orange. it is either that or we continue to perish in traffic and continue our careers as lowly, unappreciated, completely-ignored -until-we-miss-a-tax-payment taxpayers.

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man ~ Mark Twain

How to find a ghost

Haunting

At some point in everyone’s life they see ghost but are helpless because they have no access to a reputable ghost buster or seer woman. As foolish as it seems to the rational thinking adult who feels getting scared is limited to opening bills every month or listening to the Prime Minister speak or seeing his wife,  ghost hunting may seem like a novelty for children but it is not. Rational online stores like Amazon have realized the need to supply adults with not just books and sex toys but with those increasingly popular adult playthings (no, not inflatable life-size dolls) called ghost detectors or EMF (electromagnetic field) detectors.

EMF Ghost Detector available from Amazon.com

These Ghost Detectors are no joke and work on the principle that the EMF is greater than normal when a ghost is present. One can prove the detectors work by simply seeing the needle go wild when placed next to a member for the living dead such as a dead-horse politician.  Several ghosts have been caught and rehabilitated because of the use of well calibrated Ghost Detectors by professional Ghostbusters in movies. Police investigators are currently using state-of-the-art ghost detectors to find out if  fugitives  are back in the country or they are just seeing ghost.  For yet unexplained reasons, this Ghost EMF phenomenon occurs more in old houses where the former occupants, including at least one child, were mysteriously murdered or in houses that were built by sleazy developers on land that were formerly Red Indian, Amerindian or even political graveyards.

A Real Ghost

One first becomes aware that ghost might be a problem when the hair on one’s back suddenly sticks up while one is looking at boring world news at midnight. Ghost can go undetected for years and is usually mistaken by homeowners as bad plumbing or an upset stomach.  Users must remember that Ghost Detectors can only find the ghost to the accuracy of the nearest corner of the house and capturing requires the skillful use of a good size crocus bag and expendable friend.  For US$20.49 at Amazon, I can’t see how anyone can go wrong and ridding a house of ghosts not only because it makes for a good night’s sleep, but can increase its resale value tenfold – just advertise the house as Ghost-Free.

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The Uff Report and Jail

Prof. John Uff

On the day the Uff Report was submitted to a happy looking President, the Prime Minister suddenly realized the people needed more hospitals and Summits. The Prime Minister did not say how the country was going to fund these hospitals or any project in the future since the country is nearly out of money, low on natural gas and expect the price of LNG to drop to around 1/8^th of its current low price in a couple years. It was also on the same day of the Uff Report WASA announced again the country will run out of water before the rain starts, so citizens will have to bathe less.

Calder Hart and possibly aka Carlos Corazón or even aka Manuel Digoutui

Luckily, the press did not fall for any of these Government-planned distractions and the first few pages of every newspaper featured the Uff Report and talked about the recommendation that some people involved in many big construction projects might have to go to jail if found guilty or if found. Sometime around the handing in of the Uff Report there was a newspaper article saying the corruption police, or is it the anti-corruption, ass-dragging police, couldn’t contact Calder Hart. I don’t know if they contacted the AG because the AG told the population not to worry, he knows how to contact Mr. Hart – The number you have reached is not in Service. Please get on a plane and get cracking. This is a recording. The police have to consider Mr. Hart may have changed his name to something like Carlos Corazón or Manuel Digoutui (Man-Well-Dig-Out-U-Eye).

in butt-saving-mode

The only thing the people are talking about  in Trinidad is corruption and a church in the Heights of Guanapo. Strangely, the Prime Minister is not addressing any of these issues in his pre-campaign trail excursions and instead continues to kiss those too young to read about him in the press and projects a body language which says “if you don’t support me I will destroy you.”  Our Prime Minister may not be well respected by the majority of the population because of his open expressions of hate for his countrymen but he is feared by all, especially  professional grass cutters and the Gang Land finance people.

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Swiffer Justice in Trinidad and Tobago

The citizens of Trinidad and Tobago have been hounding the Government down for years to provide swift justice but today, in Parliament, the Minister of Public Administration, on two occasions, clearly said the Government aims to provide citizens with Swiffer justice. The Minister, an educated man who worships Chinese tile floors the Prime Minister walks on, left citizens puzzled as he did not say how a device which cleans up to 50% more dirt, dust, and cat hair than a broom will improve the criminal justice system.

The Integrity Commission Part 2 – Manning vs Rowley Again?

With the new Pro Max Integrity Commission about to be installed, the bets are on as to who the Commission will be instructed to target first. The public might be in for a surprise as the tangled web of corruption gets tangled even more. Maybe the people handpicked by Pro Max and his consultants will be people who will not be easily hounded out of office like the last set.  I am sure once the media smell another Pro Max rat, it will be hound dog country again. With Pro Max being a man who talks strong but acts like a weakling, the public is very skeptical about anything Pro Max touches. We can only pray in Guanapo that the new commissioners have the necessary balls of integrity to resist the temptations of flavorous granted by the Master.

Leave The Prime Minister Alone

I don’t know why people in this country are making a little mole hill into a big mountain again. Everybody knows that our Bible-quoting Prime Minister will never use his powers – official and unofficial – as a Prime Minister to grant anyone favours, including himself, or members of his family, or even a seer-woman. He will never command a Borough Corporation to clear a road leading to a construction site for a church. He will also never order T&TEC to provide electricity to this church construction site. He will also never be involved with any company that hires the Chinese instead of the Voters to build any church. The Prime Minister might be powerful but he is a smart man of integrity and that is the only reason why he is not in jail. Our Prime Minister is so honest, he is almost a perfect role model for our country and Government Ministers. I now feel like a common criminal after washing my car with a hose last weekend.

And The Prime Minister said “Get off my grass!”

The Prime Minister’s contractor was caught watering the Prime Minister’s lawn by the Trinidad Express and was fired by the Prime Minister because the Prime Minister didn’t know his contractor was still watering the Prime Minister’s lawn with scarce national water because the Prime Minister told the country he can remember telling the Prime Minister’s Wife to tell the grass contractor to stop greening up the grass as if it was a fete.

It appears the Prime Minister only became aware there was a water crisis in the country a couple days ago during a speech where he urged a handful of supporters to stop wasting water on grass. One wonders if the Prime Minister would have fired the contractor, stopped watering the people’s grass or even noticed his grass was the greenest in the land if the Trinidad Express hadn’t brought it to the nation’s attention.

The Water Crisis in Trinidad and Tobago – WASA and Bribes

I have to knock WASA again because, apart from the government,  it is the one organization that threatens to bring this country to its knees and by the end of March, 2010.

Naturally, people ignored WASA’s media-enriching ads to conserve water but that is not the reason Trinidad and Tobago find itself in hot water with no water. The reason has to do with the state-encouraged incompetence that plagued, and apparently still plagues WASA up to today. This incompetence caused over half of WASA’s water to go down the drain and people’s back yards.  Ask the average customer how long WASA takes to repair a waterfall-level leak without paying a bribe and the answer would be something like a few months to never.  That is the reason the public sarcastically laughs at WASA’s top and bottom including their chairman who is all grandiose smoke and no fire. The organization is visibly inept, and if the visible part of WASA is so frighteningly dysfunctional one can only imagine what is happening underground and in behind closed doors.

If I was the Minister of Public Utilities or the Prime Minister, I would announce the firing of WASA’s entire Board and Management at a high-profile press conference.  Let the public know who the criminals really are. Now that WASA has the country’s back against a wall again, they are bringing out the rum-shop-and bribe-friendly WASA police to harass and charge citizens for washing their cars or bathing their dogs using a garden hose.  Fix the leaks first and then charge yourself, WASA!, You are the biggest waster of water in the country.  Everybody in Trinidad and Tobago knew for years WASA’s truck drivers were selling water, everybody except the authorities at WASA because they don’t listen to the news. WASA’s management style is known as Incompetent Ostrich.

WASA is now saying  meters may be the answer to conservation, something a 11-year-old could have told them 30 years ago. Do we have stupid people running WASA? That was a rhetorical question but I must answer it – we do. Let’s hope the Government and the RIC will light a big fire under WASA’s lazy, incompetent and dishonest butt.

WASA Trinidad and Tobago – More Incompetence than Water

Yesterday the Prime Minister told a small gathering the reason people are currently burning tires for water has to do with the dry Rainy Season last year plus the dry Dry Season this year. The Prime Minister forgot to mention the role his Government and WASA have played over the last few decades in causing this current shortage.  Anybody who had to deal with any state enterprise at many levels over the years would be sure to conclude that WASA stands out as a model of incompetence and stupidity. T&TEC and even TSTT have upped their service to customers tremendously over the years but WASA has regressed to something frightening even by Trinidad and Tobago standards.

Incompetence and mismanagement are a cultural and blossoming thing at WASA, and it starts with the clueless security guards at the entrance of their compounds to the highest levels of management. The people who are currently protesting for water down South would be glad to hear that WASA has leaks in the North and East of Trinidad where hundreds of thousands of gallons of water are wasted weekly. These same leaks are causing road damage and private property damage but yet go unattended despite being repeatedly reported to clueless leak specialist at WASA nearly every day. I suppose if these reports were made at certain rum shops they might be attended to.

The Board of WASA recently claimed that WASA was now a transformed organization sporting a foreign CEO, and I have to agree with the Board since WASA is now an organization that is so hopeless it makes the old WASA look like a gem. I think there isn’t much hope for WASA as they never even try to put their best foot forward since they have none. In the past, WASA was used as a political playground by the Government and the results of giving people jobs without work is taking a toll on the population and the Government. Maybe the solution to WASA’s woes is to shut the organization down and then rehire from scratch like is being planned with the Licensing Office, BIR and Customs.

There is no short-term solution to the current water riots and I predict bigger riots and protest as the dry season gets drier every day. I see almost no hope for WASA, or the country’s water supply, even in the distant future.

• Water Worries
• A Month Without Water

A Letter From a Tax Lover Found Only in Trinidad and Tobago

Dear Sirs and Madams of this Government,

I can’t begin to tell you how much I am looking forward to paying a higher property tax. I and hundreds of thousands of other citizens, known as the majority, are thrilled at the thought of giving more money to the Government to use in any way the Prime Minister sees fit, including private jet, big flag, useless conferences, house drapes, the Australians, the Chinese and Mr. Hart’s salary. I don’t expect you to use any of this newly discovered money on sick children since you  have proven over and over you have a big, big  Hart.

I know you instructed your scarcely literate police officers to guard Parliament with batons and guns to ensure unarmed protesters don’t embarrass the Government more than it is already embarrassed.  I hope these unpatriotic citizens learnt their lesson and will now put their proverbial tails between their proverbial legs and watch the show on TV next time.

Since I was a boy, I, like the majority of citizens who were unable to take a bribe because none was ever offered or just too honest, would delightfully drool at the thought of paying higher taxes to the Government. I am still not sure if I get the most excitement from paying a higher existing tax or paying a new tax. That is such a toss up. I like paying taxes so much that I sometimes throw my money down a fast running drain during the flood season to simulate the same effect. I once threw a hundred dollar bill in a stagnant drain near my home and after a year it remained just where I left it except it turned green – that’s probably a sign of the future devaluation of our money – blue to green.  I am also just as excited about the inevitable devaluation due to the expenditure on boats and drapes, as I am about the taxes. I only wish you could see how much my spine is tingling right now just thinking about it.

I thank you, my Government, for making my boyhood dream a reality, and though I might be poorer because of  more and new taxes, I feel richer because I know whose pockets the taxes will go into.

Delightly and painfully yours,

aka_lol – a Tax Lover

Tax Arrest – Trinidad Express

Tax Arrest – Cops Rain Blows on Union Membes – Trinidad Guardian

Wonderful Copenhagen

Kevin Baldeosingh recommended a couple of weeks ago that we breathe slower to reduce the rate of carbon dioxide emissions and as much as I believe there is a sizable hole in the ozone layer, I would prefer to breath with my usual,sexy, heavy breath.  I would also recommend Tiger Woods be kept away from that hole since it doesn’t need any more screwing up.

I don’t know what our environmentally-friendly Prime Minister will take to Copenhagen to the climate conference, but I am sure nobody will care, unless he agrees to buy more and better Danish cookies for his people. The point of this blog post is not to point out the evils of bulldozing hundreds of acres of lush, green forest in Trinidad to build an aluminum smelter but to point out that Danish Butter Cookies probably outsells the national cracker, Crix, and therefore, has the potential to drain the country’s foreign exchange reserves while clogging up the arteries of local cookie eaters. Danish Butter Cookies are not a problem in Copenhagen since a large percentage of its residents uses bicycles and doesn’t believe in god. We have the opposite problem in Trinidad and Tobago where to get to anywhere we jump in a car and pray for no traffic.

If world leaders are serious about saving their people and reducing carbon dioxide emissions,  I would recommend these leaders find out what makes their people want to have sex without condoms and overeat cookies, and put a stop to the practice.  Sex, or at least good sex without condoms, and cookie eating was always bad for the planet but only now we know why.

Upside Down with Frustration – Trinidad and Tobago

Economist Mary King wrote in the Trinidad and Tobago Express on November 30^th 2009 “In this recession or whatever, the Government has not reduced its spending to fall in line with its income. Its income from the energy sector was TT$25.7 billion in 2007-2008, TT$11.7 billion in 2008-2009 and is expected to be TT$7.7 billion in 2009-2010.” That is a pay-cut of over 66.667%. She went on to explain that the Government is borrowing TT$ 13 billion to continue its spending habits on, I assume, things like flagpoles, scholarships for the boys and girls and The Chinese.

I am no economist or doubles man but the situation looks bleak and since the Government is more into saying things like “the sky is not falling,” “no Private Jet at this time, check me back after CHOGM,” “So what,”  “we will not go into a recession. The check clear yet?” and “One more Baily bridge, please” I am not hopeful for the country past Ole Years Day. This shortfall of taxes from its main foreign exchange earner along with Ministers who don’t know their butt from their PM, indicates that the TT dollar might soon be worth less, if not worthless. Hops bread will be the new Miami condo.

With the recent revelations about the handing out of scholarships as if the money belonged to a political party, I would say somebody or bodies should be jailed for the rest of their natural life or lives. People are fed up of the incompetence, arrogance, squandermania, favoritism and spitefulness of this Government to the point where people  are now smiling less coherently.

If the price of oil, gas, urea, ammonia and methanol don’t go up substantially and very soon, we will shortly be seeing a Trinidad and Tobago that resembles Curepe Junction on a Saturday morning;  hookers and no police and all.

CHOGM – So What!

The Prime Minister has asked me and the other citizens to be supportive of CHOGM (pronounced chewing gum) which might include no negative blogging or making fun of it. The Prime Minister has also asked me, along with other gullible citizens, to look out for foreign investments after CHOGM as investments might be so small we all have to keep our collective eyes open for it. Even if we don’t get CHOGM investments because of traffic, crime, flooding and school children regularly killing each other with 10-inch kitchen knives, we will be happier because of CHOGM starting Monday. Some citizens have already benefited from CHOGM with carefully orchestrated economic activity thrown their way. “Just get it now, I don’t want to know the price. The Queen  coming, and Sarkozy too” one organizer was heard whispering on the phone to a friend. “Sarco who? But anyway, it expensive” said the friend. “So what! You ever hear about the new property tax!” the organizer snickered.

The Queen and other major people will be coming for CHOGM but very few will drive on a traffic road or tour our shanty towns. Very few will meet a normal citizen or have any recollection of our country’s name after Sunday lunch. How can we benefit by the arrogant, head-laughing-stock flying in via jet from fifty something countries,  gathering under one roof to talk about polar ice and eat corn soup that was made in an aluminum pot.

Yes, most citizens still think CHOGM is a few-hundred-million dollar joke and will not benefit citizens in any way.  Most see CHOGM and the big flagpole as a drain on our scarce foreign exchange and the reason for the increased property tax.  Maybe most of the benefits of CHOGM will come in the not too distant future as the Treasury is confirmed empty and the Government increases another tax. Maybe the real benefits of CHOGM will be felt when the Government starts its final plunder for dollars to buy a private jet by attacking those once stable pension funds with their party-backers-financiers. “So what!”

Trinidad and Tobago – A Nation Conveniently In Crisis?

The Chinese say out of crisis comes opportunity and that is why Trinidad and Tobago is the land of opportunistic people, not only the Chinese. Last week the Prime Minister said no more fetes in national sporting complexes probably because  of the high cost of  repairing The National Flagpole but the very next day Ministers were meeting to solve the perennial problem of nowhere to wine.

But a crisis isn’t always created for the opportunity to look good but sometimes to create the opportunity to fast track a tender award to those contractors who can charge several flagpoles more just by saying yes they can deliver in Chinese time. Even if the taxpayers will have to borrow to finance these fast tracked schemes, it will happen.  The reason for cost overruns in many Government contracts might be due to a change in design by mysterious forces and soil, resulting in a nice crisis midway through the project giving the contractor the opportunity to buy those two extra S-Class Mercedes along with that high-rise apartment his girlfriend always demanded for her sex-tape grade services. Only with this well planned, sudden design change will Mr. Contractor be able to spring for that industrial grade 10-speed blender his wife had her eye on for years. The opportunities taxpayers subsidize.

The traffic “crisis” is another opportunity to give those “fast” contractors the chance to overbid just to help the population, waiting in traffic, to get from A to B without using a shoulder.  The crime “crisis” can, or has provided “security supply companies” with the opportunity to deliver crime suppression supplies urgently at top dollar so the public and select suppliers would be impressed how serious the authorities are about alleviating their suffering. Besides, the crime “crisis” now employs both non-criminals and criminals thus making crime more organized and an all encompassing industry. The health care system will continue to fall apart once there is money to be made from people, who have no private practice or Government contracts, suffering in hospital corridors. The urgent need to impress foreign “leaders” is now causing the fast tracking of many things cultural including the cutting of the bush along the highway. The next new “crisis” will be water as the population is running out of tires and foam mattresses to drag and burn.

Out of crisis comes opportunity and if done properly, there will be no Commission of Enquiry.