Sheneille Leelah – Miss Trinidad and Tobago Universe Hopeful 2012


Sheneille Leelah

Sheneille Leelah

Sheneille Leelah might be hopeful of winning Miss Trinidad and Tobago Universe 2012 but I am almost sure 99.99% of the world female population is still hopeful that they can look even half as good in a bikini as Miss Leelah. According to a Google search, the name  Leelah is Arabic in origin and means “night beauty” but Sheneille Leelah looks amazing regardless of time of day and color of boxing gloves.

Sheneille Leelah

Sheneille Leelah

Sheneille Leelah

Sheneille Leelah

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Stephanie Rice – How to look good in a bikini


Stephanie Rice looks fantastic in this photo she recently posted on Twitter

Here we go again, judging a woman’s character as unsavory simply because she looks good in a bikini and let the world know. Stephanie Rice is an Australian swimmer and a triple Olympic Champion world record holder. She looks amazing in bikinis.

As expected, some people are making a fuss about the photo (above) which she recently posted on twitter because they say “the bikini is too racy and brings the Australian swim team into disrepute.”  I am certainly not offended by the photo and find the bikini racy enough. Some people are always pretentiously offended by anything sexy and would prefer if all women wear several bolts of cloth 24-7. This type of controversy will not go away anytime soon. I am now truly encouraged that the Olympics, which starts next month in London, might not be as boring as all the other Olympics. Some say she did it for attention and I say I hope so, for the Olympics sake. There are reports that one of her sponsors, Speedo, might be concerned about the posted photo but I think they might be secretly delighted she has the looks.  I want to suggest that other female athletes who have appropriate bodies, post photos of themselves in bikinis as a way of improving the TV ratings of the Olympics, and to encourage more females to take up sports as a lucrative career as opposed to crowded and boring fields like hairdressing, lingerie modeling, accounting, medicine and law.

Stephanie Rice up close

 

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Kim Kardashian – World Bikini Champion


Kim Kardashian is to bikini wearing what Usain Bolt is to track and field.  Kim is the almost undisputed world champ of bikinis as the samples posted in this blog will support. However, unlike track and field events, bikini wearing normally involves  no stop watch but the rate of rise in most men is the quantity that is subconsciously used to determine which bikini and its wearer is the top performer. And yes, sometimes one woman trumps another by a fraction of a hair on the beach.  If there is an almost ideal shape of a woman to successfully wear a bikini for the lenses of voyeuristic photographers then Kim had it for some time and probably still has it.

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Trinidad Carnival 2012 – Photos


Trinidad Carnival 2012 - A Carnival Cup

I don’t have much time for blogging these days because I am very busy with house repairs and hard-to-avoid cousins vacationing in Trinidad. However, those who keep track of mayarobeach.com  must have noticed two Trinidad Carnival 2012 photo albums. Taking photographs during Carnival Monday and Tuesday has always been fun and difficult with the biggest challenges being thick crowds, midday sun and the price of beer. Because of a reduction in my Carnival inspiration this year and being followed by irritating cousins, I took less photos. Nevertheless, here are the links to the two Trinidad Carnival 2012 photo albums. One is iPad friendly and one is not.

Album 1

Album 2

I suppose it is only the well trained observer who can see how much Carnival has changed over the years.

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10,000-Hour Experts


Expert Bikini Wearing

The 10,000 rule was suggested in the 90s by Dr. K. Anders Ericsson who is a Swedish psychologist and “is widely recognized as one of the world’s leading theoretical and experimental researchers on expertise.  The 10,000 hour rule says that it requires 10,000 hours of intentional practice to become an expert in something. That something can be anything like batting, bowling, bikini-wearing, chess, lawn tennis, ping-pong, classical guitar, belly dancing, watching porn, dentistry, kidney replacement, brain bypassing, writing, blogging, or stealing from the national coffers. Though the 10,000 hour theory was first suggested by Anders Ericsson, it was Malcolm Gladwell who popularized the theory in his bestseller, Outliers, and since then success and competence has never been the same.

Because calculators are so cheap, It is now widely known that 10,000 hours of practice means a person must diligently practice at their field for around 3 hours per day for 10 years, or 6 hours per day for 5 years, or 12 hours per day for 3 years, or 24 hours per day for 1.5 years. There seems to be much empirical evidence to suggest that experts are not born or simply created when appointed to the board of a state enterprise, or even when awarded a consultancy contract by a friend in Government but must practice diligently to become an expert. Naturally, this rule also applies to fools, liars and thieves who all suffer from insomnia and seem to practice their art every waking minute hence become expert fools, liars and thieves quicker than say a chess player can even approach  Grand Master level. This revelation might be shocking to many who call themselves experts after just a few years of some undergrad course and then a few months of post grad work, all from a shady university whose lecturers were trained via Google.

Though a person needs to clock those 10,000 quality hours to become an expert, one can still sound like an expert in less time due to the common effect called the one-eyed man in the kingdom of the blind rule. This is what most wannabe experts depend on to boost their egos and incomes along with the wearing of  tight fitting clothes and the owning of a firm butt.

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Megan Fox and Angelina Jolie – Not tits but tattoos


Angelina Jolie wants to world to know via tattoo Quod me netrit me destruit or What nourishes me, also destroys me

A well placed tattoo on an average or good looking woman can amplify her sexiness in the eyes of a beer-drinking man in more ways than a micro-bikini alone can. I like tattoos on women but find the ones that are too large or take the form of a short story or GPS coordinates take away from the woman’s sexiness. From my observations, a sexy woman should have no more than three or four small tattoos, of which one should be above the ankle, one on the bikini line and the other two should only be visible to that special someone or gynaecologist.

Megan Fox likes people to read her back and side

Angelina Jolie and Megan Fox are two sexy and heavily tattooed celebrities who may not be as popular as they are today if their skin was virgin. Gone are the days when a sexy female celebrity can maintain media attention with talent alone. The modern day female celebrity must come up with ways to defend and maintain her sexiness using modern tools such as leaked sex tapes or other forms of nudity. However, the commonness of leaked tapes has caused celebrities to rely more on ancient tools such as bikini-line tattoos and body piercings. To constantly remain in the news, celebrities, via unnamed but well placed accomplices, leak information to the media and bloggers about hidden body piercings that were done at the dead of night by a famous piercing artist known as  “Lobes.”

Angelina Jolie GPS tattoo says something very specific plus or minus 20 feet

Angelina Jolie, apart from going high-tech with tattoos of the GPS coordinates for the birth places of her children, has a bikini-line tattoo which says “Quod me netrit me destruit.” Maybe she was targeting priests and Romans with that one. Megan Fox has a tattoo just below the bikini line which says “Brian” but being a man, I thought it said “Brain” as a man’s brain usually resides below the bikini line. Why would the sexy and in-demand Megan Fox  want to condemn herself to only one man is a mystery to me.  On the bright side, the world is full of Brians and I am sure Megan Fox knows this.

In keeping with the competitive nature of celebrity sexiness I am giving the reader the opportunity to vote for the Best Tattooed Female Celibrity:

Megan Fox appeals to Brian and all men's brains

Megan Fox's ankle tattoo says so much with very little

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Amazon’s Shopping-Enabled Wikipedia Page


Sexy Brazilian Two Piece Low Cut Waist Beach Bikini Swimsuit - Hot - available at Amazon - Tattoo and girl not included

Amazon, Stephen king, Wikipedia - One page

There is something I noticed on Amazon only yesterday and that thing is not the bikini shown above but the Shopping-Enabled Wikipedia Page. It’s a Wikipedia page  that is available while browsing at Amazon. The Shopping-Enabled Wikipedia page comes up with the Amazon logo tastefully placed at the upper left-hand corner of the Wikipedia page of the subject being browsed. I cite two example screen-shots, Stephen King and V.S. Naipaul. I think this is a good idea as it will be useful to the buyer and it will also bring much needed funding to Wikipedia. Amazon funding to Wikipedia will reduce the amount of ads from Jimmy Wales, founder of that delightful Britannica-killer, Wikipedia, urging stingy users to donate to Wikipedia, a non-commercial, web-based encyclopedia and brain-replacement/enhancement.

V.S. Naipaul Amazon Shopping-Enabled Wikipedia Page

This shopping-enabled Wikipedia page might have been around for ages (days) but I only noticed them a day or two ago. This might be experimental and may disappear if found not to be very successful but so far I am ecstatic about the merger of money and independent thought.  I was told by a Google developer last year that because of the number of hits Google receives per second some experimental features may only be available for a few minutes for complete testing.

Amazon Bikini - No Help from Wikipedia Needed

Thought I am happy about the added information on authors  Amazon is allowing customers to access without leaving their store, I am a bit concerned about the influence Amazon may have in determining Wikipedia’s content. I have not seen any Shopping-Enabled Wikipedia Pages yet for things such as bikinis and adult toys as Wikipedia may add little to making up a human mind on such purchases.  But Amazon may have had that influence on Wikipedia even before since the content of Wikipedia is determined by the users of Wikipedia and their volunteer-experts.

Jimmy Wales donation ad on Wikipedia

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What Makes a Woman Sexy Besides Breasts


G-String or Thong as seen in Wikipedia - Tingly sensations will follow

Every man knows a sexy woman when he sees one but may not know why he finds her hot, thinking it’s just breasts again or that dental floss g-string. Those feelings which a man gets that tells him a woman is desirable are biological and beyond his desire to control. It’s not a g-string clothed butt in isolation which triggers a man’s excitement but  a part of the man’s brain which is used for, of all things, CXC maths exams to work out ratios.

Sexy at Maracas Bay - Trinidad

When a man sees a woman with an exposed navel the ratio-lobe in his brain subconsciously and accurately does the following math:  – ground to navel distance (including stilettos) divided by the navel to top of head distance (including hair piece and/or tiara). If that ratio works out to be approximately 1.6180339887 the woman is classified as sexy and the man’s brain quickly sends those tingly, sexy sensations to the appropriate male areas of the body. The male brain, being sex driven and little else, becomes happy and records in the back of his mind the image of that sexy woman for later use. A woman with the right ratios alone doesn’t make sexy and when she turns around so that the man’s eyes can finally see the woman’s face, a similar computation is done using the distance between the woman’s eyes and the length of the nose, length of smile, twist of the teeth and pimple placement. This facial calculation determines beauty, a part of sexiness.  This concept of total mathematical sexiness gave rise to the popular saying “She looked good until I did the math.”

Trinidad and Tobago Sexy - thanks mayarobeach.com

Trinidad and Tobago Sexy - thanks mayarobeach.com

Fortunately, most men do not find a perfect female body to be the only form of sexiness and there are as many variations as there are short skirts and low-cut tops. To describe all these variations is beyond the scope of this blog post and author’s intelligence. However, there is one form of sexiness that hasn’t been analyzed mathematically and only empirically and that is the roll of the hips by a woman when walking towards or away from a man on either a normal work day or Carnival days. That hip roll, sway, gyration or wine can easily fill a man’s head with stimulating thoughts for days. Because most people realize how important the female hip roll is to world population growth, belly dancers and our local winer guls are held in high esteem in all countries. The term belly dancer is really a misnomer and to be a good belly dancer a woman should not have much of a belly but  be a slave to the gym, low-calorie diets and waxing warm.

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Foreign Speaking Trinidad and Tobago


Wikipedia states that “Foreign accent syndrome (FAS) is a rare medical condition involving speech production that usually occurs as a side effect of severe brain injury, such as a stroke or a head injury.” In Trinidad and Tobago we are bombarded daily with people suffering from foreign accent syndrome  and these brain damaged people are usually employed by desperate radio stations as announcers. For some reason, these people’s brains have all decided to be damaged in such a way that their accents sound American rather than Chinese. But there is a reason why American foreign accents are treasured and employed by radio station owners and that is because in Trinidad and Tobago, anything that is said with a foreign accent has more credibility than the same thing said in a local one. A local might say “Ohgahd! De water done, ah goe smell like ah ram goat now” as compared to the American “There is no water. Now I will smell like a real rat’s ass.” Because we live on a piece of land that is scarcely  visible on a world map, many insecure locals feel they need to become like people who live in a bigger piece of land and to do this they try to speak like an American thinking if they sound foreign people will think they are smart but most end up sounding like they are both dotish and brain-dead.

Some say that is our colonial mindset but that was before my time so I am not sure. Weren’t the colonials British? This foreigner-knows-best syndrome has led to the radio stations adopting the foreign accent as the accent of choice. That‘s also why foreign contractors and consultants can run both amock and away with our billions but are still seen by the governments as our saviors and masters. Recently, an Englishman was imported at top dollar to head WASA because a suitable local with an English accent could not be found. The talk is that the government also wants to rid many other State Enterprises of its local accents and are strongly considering the return of the Canadian accent. No wonder Makandal Daaga is throwing a fit. But the only reason the Government will go foreign is to please those locals who refuse to believe in themselves and their country and instead believe an American nasal or a British up-there tone is better than a natural Trinidad one.

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Maracas Bay Trinidad Photos – 2010


Maracas Bay Trinidad

I don’t go to Maracas often enough and after many false starts during the last twelve months, I finally went in January.  The shark and bake was  drooling-good as always and the prices now seem stable and as affordable as KFC. I will say this again, do not kill a shark and bake with too many extras as you will miss the whole point of the dish.

I took a few photos of the beach but decided that there were only ten I cared to share.  It was a hazy day with only a few people on the beach so early on a Sunday morning close to Carnival. This meant bikinis were in short supply as they were still asleep in their owner’s draws. This was my first outing where I tried my Sigma 28-300mm F3.5-6.3 DL lens. It’s an ok lens that won’t break the bank or reveal too much bikini detail when stretched to 300mm. The Sigma is a finicky auto-focus lens which is nice to walk around with by the beach or possibly even on Carnival days. I haven’t had the time to use the Sigma too much but when I do (I used it on Carnival Monday) I will post photos for inspection, if not admiration. Click for Maracas Bay photos.

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Lady GaGa Wants to Take a Ride on Your Disco Stick


Let’s have some fun,
This beat is sick
I wanna take a ride on your disco stick

Let’s have some fun,
This beat is sick
I wanna take a ride on your disco stick

I wanna kiss you
But if I do then I might miss you babe
It’s complicated and stupid

Got my ass squeezed by sexy cupid
Guess he wants to play,
Wants to play
A love game

A love game

Love Game – Lady Gaga

Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta is Lady Gaga who is currently 23 years old, talented, rich, sexy, popular and bisexual. Being 23, talented, rich, sexy and popular are some of the most important ingredients for a good life but also being bisexual adds a strange spice to the sweetbread.

Lady GaGa is no Susan Boyle and that is why I like her. GaGa has a bad girl image and can probably get any man or woman she desires in bed or hammock. This is what most people would like to think but the lifestyle and sex life of the looking- too-sexy might turn out to be just as bland as the sex life of the man in the street since living up to sexiness can be harder than looking so.

Lady GaGa is fun, I hope, and the latest thing to hit the pop phenomenon charts in recent times. She doesn’t appear to be a brief encounter on the pop scene and looks like she has more staying power than most would like to give her credit for. Lady Gaga seems to understand that having nice legs and perky breast is not a big deal and an artist has to be more – like almost naked in public – if an artist wants to make it in the competitive world of pop music. If she becomes a vegetarian and takes up yoga early, Lady GaGa will last longer than Madonna’s marriages and most bikini wax jobs.

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Latoya Woods – The New Miss Trinidad and Tobago Universe


latoya woods

Stunning winner: Miss T&T/Universe Latoya Woods during the swimsuit segment of the pageant on Sunday night at the Hyatt Regency Trinidad hotel in Port of Spain. - Photo: STEPHEN DOOBAY - Trinidad Express - I hope this is considered fair use by all concerned

Girls with long legs have a definite advantage over the shorter-leg variety as they are seen as being much more beautiful by men; it is a biological thing. Pretty girls are also thought of as being more desirable than unattractive ones as are rich men with loose wallets.

There is a photo of Latoya Woods, the new Miss Trinidad and Tobago Universe representative, in the Trinidad Express today showing Latoya lounging on a couch at The Hyatt – a couch I have favorably encountered in the past – and if you didn’t think she was a winner before, this photo will change your mind.  She is easily a stunner with her very pretty face, long legs and other exciting dimensions. I will probably post that photo later if  The  Express, and or, Latoya  promises not to take any legal, or other offensive and painful action, against me.

As I said in a previous post, it must be difficult to choose a Miss Trinidad and Tobago since we are a country full of pretty and exciting girls; some apparently more exciting than others but that is not for this post. I am not sure where or when the next Miss Universe competition will be held as Wikipedia is silent on that issue, but I will be keeping a keen eye on the new competitors, including the usually docile Miss Japan.

latoya-woods-miss-Trinidad-and-Tobago-Universe

This is the photo I was speaking about in the post above - The original photo was published in color but I scanned in black and white

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Miss Trinidad and Tobago Universe 2010 – The Heat is on


Beauties Aspiring to be Miss Universe Trinidad and Tobago 2010

Beauties Aspiring to be Miss Universe Trinidad and Tobago 2010

The picture above makes me glad I am not a woman because only as a man I can appreciate what a bikini beauty means to mankind.  I am also glad I am not a woman because if I were, I would have entered the competition and blown away the hopes of the other aspirants, not only with my perfect Barbie-like proportions, but with my sensual charms and well placed dimples.  I would have made mincemeat of those gray-headed judges and have them eating whipped cream from the palm of my hand. If I were a woman I would have those old geezers begging not only for more, but to not call their wives or girlfriends. Holding up my number and being inspected would have turned me on and unleashed my charms. My UWI education would have counted for something but only on my Miss Universe resume and not in my head. My beauty would have been the stuff men crave 24/7 and cost them their place in Heaven.

———-

Forgive the rant above and though being a beauty competition judge is still my boyhood dream, I don’t envy the amount of bad-eye I would receive from the rejected contestants. Who am I to decide who is better than who, they would say. My score sheet and remarks would be etched in my brain and labeled “Top Secret” for security purposes. Maybe online voting should be part of the selection process to help point the aging judges in the right direction. Seeing too many bikini-clad beauties over a short space of time can only cause old men to bend and break. But I speak as an envious man with no training in either beauty selection or  knowing a good thing when I see it.

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The Art of Butts – Butt Looking Made Simple


Trinidad Carnival Made Simple

Trinidad Carnival Made Simple

The following is not considered neither sexist nor unentertaining by the author. What?

A woman’s butt can distract a man enough to make him forget what he is doing and who he is with. Both situations can be extremely dangerous. When a man is injured by the love of his life while looking at, or moments after he looked at another woman’s butt, the injury is considered both predictable and life-threatening. Doctors often remark “Butt-looking, I see” when injured men with  the word  PRADA imprinted on their foreheads are carted into the emergency rooms thought the world.  Unfortunately, this injury is likely to reoccur given that, when it comes to butt-gazing, men never learn.

Interrogation Made Simple

Interrogation Made Simple

The CIA, a progressive interrogation agency, is now experimenting with making suspects talk by briefly showing the suspects a cute, real butt clad in a tight bikini, a sight almost never seen in the suspects’ country. The suspects are then denied a second look until they talk. This technique is likely to generate numerous suspects. The new interrogation program is secretly known as “Show me the butt” and model recruitment is taking unusually long.

fish-500

Product Placement Made Simple

Product placement experts are now using the potential of the butt to sell almost anything to men. Butt level is the new eye level and products, previously unpopular to men, like chocolates, mushrooms, and insecticide are now placed at butt level to generate sales.  This product placement technique is being lambasted by moralist since they claim it encourages slackness in supermarkets. Sales of Bop and Fish insecticides have recently skyrocketed and are now the insecticides preferred by real men.

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The Bikini in 2009 – Still Almost Naked


Beyonce in a Bikini

Beyonce in a Bikini

French automobile engineer, Louis Réard, should be the most famous engineer in the world since his invention, the bikini, positively transformed the lives of more men than any invention in the world, including the wheel, the sandwich loaf, and the  online porn.

According to Wikipedia, Réard came up with the idea for the bikini in 1947 when he was 50, not because he was a pervert, but while he was running his mothers lingerie shop and thought women looked better in public when in their underwear. He named his contraption the Bikini after the Bikini Atoll in the Pacific, a popular site for testing nuclear weapons at the time. He possibly came up with the name when he realized the bikini was capable of causing its own little nuclear explosions in secluded places.

Black Thong Bikini

Black Thong Bikini

The bikini has evolved since 1947 and is now also available in many styles and sizes – regular, small, micro, string and you-couldn’t-be-serious. Women wear the appropriate bikini  depending on the weather -  smaller bikinis are worn to create a hotter atmosphere.

The evolution of the bikini was not without controversy causing those with superior moral and ethical standards to object to women wearing the bikini since it caused men to feel an immoral tingly sensation and encouraged excessive public drooling.

Nicole Scherzinger Bikini

Nicole Scherzinger Bikini

Religious leaders have spent a considerable amount of time bad talking the bikini instead of praying,  saying it makes women look naked -  as if they would know a naked woman if they saw one. Because of the imagined  immorality of the bikini, some ethical men do not permit their wives, and women to wear bikinis in public but this is a blessing since the wives and women of the ethical and moral  are normally in poor shape and should avoid the bikini anyway.

The bikini was originally intended to be a swimsuit but now women wear bikinis while playing sports like volleyball to allow freedom of movement and to keep men glued to the TV screen.  Some women even wear bikinis while playing mas in Trinidad and Tobago, ignoring the call by the religious and the scared to not show off too much of their goods in public. On the other hand, photographers are not normally religious or even moral people so encourage bikini wearing during Carnival in order to  take as many bikini shots as their batteries and good sense would let them.

Trinidad Carnival - Bikini

Trinidad Carnival - Bikini

Many celebrities have been known to wear bikinis in public places to relive stress and attract the paparazzi. One good bikini shot in a secluded public beach with an unknown hunk can keep a celebrity in the news and the dollars for weeks.

The bikini, in 2009, looks like it is here to stay and like all living creatures, will evolve to suit its environment. It is clearly still an instrument to help the fittest survive.

————

Bikinis in a Row

Bikinis in a Row

Bikinis Inside

Bikinis Inside - Click for LARGER image

Miranda Kerr Bikini

Miranda Kerr Bikini

Anna Valle in a Micro Bikini

Anna Valle in a Micro Bikini

Trinidad Carnival - Bikini

Trinidad Carnival - Bikini

Hands Off - The Bikini

Hands Off - The Bikini

Fast and Furious – Loose Women, Tight Jeans


fast-and-furious

The latest installment of the movie, Fast and Furious is due to open in Trinidad and Tobago on Wednesday with the same name as the original; Fast and Furious. Fast and Furious has developed a cult following and has helped promote the pimp-my-ride culture all over the world except in countries where flogging is the better part of the law.

Michelle Rodriguez

Michelle Rodriguez

Fast and Furious is based on the good guys with biceps, tight jeans, flawless faces and bosoms-to-kill getting involved in cracking a heroin ring rather than modeling or lap dancing. The movie is all about fast cars and the fast car culture but pretends to be about high morals. In Trinidad and Tobago it breeds night creatures with a lifestyle that involves lawlessness, alcohol, drugs, sex and looses women in tight jeans. Some say loose women are better than tight women but there is no scientific evidence to prove this. But I digress… The owners of these pimped rides are usually the unruly children of well to do people who pamper their offspring and fund the pimped car lifestyle. Serious minded children of serious minded parents are too busy getting a real education from a real educational institution to worry about extractors and big breast.  The serious minded children do not sleep till 4:00 pm and leave home at 8:00 pm with a pimped out ride and woman.

car-show-girlThe ride pimping culture is not all bad and the creativity in both car and women modification is to be admired. Car and women owners envy each other and constantly work on their paint jobs, flare kits, woofer size and hem lines to continuously impress the mindless crowds.

hot_girlOverall, I think the Fast and Furious culture is dangerous and though the movies might be highly entertaining in a useless sort of way, it can do teens and young adults no good.  The movie is a poor attempt to show the imaginary good side of a bad thing.