The Future is in Plams

palm at mayaro

Show me your palms and I will tell you if you need to wash them

~ aka_lol ~

Contrary to popular opinion, a person’s eyes can say more about them than any other visible body part except the palm, which can be read like a book at school bazaars in classrooms that were redecorated to look like a wizard’s den but somehow only managed to end up looking like a harem.

There are probably more books published about the art and science of palm reading than published about eye reading and I can’t say why the anomaly. A certified palm reader can tell the future with the same degree of extremely vague accuracy that was made famous by politicians and astrologers. For example, a palmist can predict at what age you will die, – plus or minus a couple scores – how many children you will have and with how many women or men – give or take a half a dozen -, your future happiness or misery, and even which artery will be clogged by KFC and which by cow heel soup. Palmists are extraordinary people but their customers are even more so.

Despite being able to easily find out what the future holds for me, I have never been curious enough to find out. It’s not that I don’t believe in palmist, or psychics but it’s just that I am afraid to find out for sure what I already know – I will die when I cease to live and the garbage truck will fail to make an appearance on nine out of ten Fridays. I also know if I leave Port of Spain between four and five in the evening to get to St. Augustine it will take two hours. I will take even longer if there was earthquake at three and everybody decides to leave for home instead of checking for cracks in the building or if the boss was knocked down by a falling beam.

That is all I really wanted to say and maybe next time I will publish my palm reading results.

Rockin’ Blogger

Rocking Blogger

Some time ago, on October 14th to be exact, I was given the Rockin’ Blogger Award by the soon to be published author Liane Spicer of WORDTRYST, who is currently in edit mode. Up to now I have not been able to display the Rockin’ Blogger Award at the side>>>>>… of this blog so I decided to give the Award its own blog post, which is equivalent to a space on my blog-trophy mantle. Thanks again to WORDTRYST for the recognition and also for realizing my mantle was empty 🙂

The Reality of Entertainment


Pointing a camera at someone can change his or her behavior faster than the boss entering the office can. That is why reality TV is anything but real. How gullible can the public get? Reality TV has managed to become very popular despite having worse acting and plots than soaps. Whether it is Temptation Island or The Young and the Restless all TV shows are forms of pseudo-reality trying to appear more real than real life. Reality TV is successful because the public is entertained by it and not necessarily because they believe it is real.

Entertainment was always about being able to escape one’s own reality by momentarily living someone else’s false reality. To be entertained is the reason we go to the movies, read, blog, sing and dance, eavesdrop, or even peep through the neighbor’s window. Without entertainment people see their own lives as either depressing or boring, maybe even both. People need entertainment as much as they need food and that is why the entertainment industry is as lucrative as the fried chicken business. People have searched for entertainment more than they have searched for knowledge causing the latest generation being born with the instinctive ability to use a TV remote and knowing where to pay their cable bill.

Entertainment is not an invention but an inevitable part of our evolution. It has come about for the same reason our urges have, and that is to ensure we have something fun to do at night. We all have a hunger to be entertained and whether it takes the form of looking at the seven o’clock news or buying a grossly overpriced new Toyota, we need it. Entertainment is not an addiction or an unnecessary pastime, but rather it is our reason for living and the best part of our lives.

Five For Fighting – 100 Years

The lyrics to the song 100 Years was previously posted on this bog post because I couldn’t think of anything to say in my blog. I still don’t have much to say but I will remove the lyrics because it made my blog post appear too long and also I didn’t write the lyrics so I could technically be sued for copyright violations or something sounding like that. Please enjoy the video and it’s being hosted on YouTube, the greatest invention on the Net since the Blog, and the people to take any legal action against.

Crime – A Thing of the Past


The Police Service has given up on crime. The Commissioner made the announcement only seconds after he and the Minister of National Security both received Cabinet’s highest award, The Ostrich. The Commissioner reassured criminals they (the Criminals) would continue to be able to do as they please without any fear of being troubled by anyone in authority, but only now, he said, it has become official. He admitted the Police had given up on the whole crime thing years ago when it became apparent there was a serious conflict of interest within the organization in solving and preventing crime. The Commissioner admitted he did nothing over the years but cannot think of anything more he couldn’t do. The Minister is still unable to think. The clueless CoP further went on to say no officers would be laid off since police officers need to be paid for doing nothing as usual. The Top CoP defended the Authorities saying they only appeared idle to the untrained eye but they were in actuality spending time looking at redeploying some officers into the criminal guidance counseling field. This would provide much needed comfort to the criminals, especially newcomers who are unsure which illicit activity they should carry out and the best locations to start.

This latest initiative drew angry responses from the Getaway Car Drivers Association who claim the need for their services will be reduced considerably. The Commissioner, in an uncharacteristic immediate response, scoffed at this simply saying “The Police doe chase nobody.” Not withstanding this hullabaloo, The Top Brass said Getaway Drivers could be retrained and there were still one or two streets that were mugger-free. The Commissioner urged citizens not to despair since he has been reliably informed that all current criminal offenses will be removed from the law books, immediately freeing up the courts and dropping the crime rate to zero. This will also make crime a thing of the past. As a result of this latest development, the failed witness protection and the successful witness eradication programs will come to an end but police canteens will continue to operate with full force.

Citizens yawned at this latest development from behind their burglarproof windows saying, “So what’s new.”

BMW Driving Women

BMW Girl

Why is it that young, beautiful women wearing sunglasses at twilight, driving light green BMWs think all male drivers would stop for them at major roads? Why? Because men have led women to believe that beauty can get them special treatment, not only in the boardroom and the bedroom, but also at busy intersections in St. Augustine. And it does. Notwithstanding this unfairness in life, pretty girls and beautiful women should remember driving is too serious a business to replace caution with gorgeousness. They should also remember sunglasses are a poor substitute for eyes. Women drivers should never assume their beauty is visible through a tinted glass or that all men are straight. Females should drive with caution and be courteous, even to desperate looking male drivers hooting their horns. The average driver, male and female, young and old, horny and tranquilized, is now overstressed because there is traffic-traffic-everywhere. Therefore, it would be wise for all drivers to be conscious of this volatile situation and heed the following advice – Go placidly amid the noise and haste, bearing in mind what BMW bumpers and doors cost.

Everybody loves an enemy

Skull abd Bones

Over time, things can only get worse.

The Sly Fox spewed venom on those who didn’t choose him causing his true colors to be exposed in public. The Fox’s premeditated outpouring of his wicked spirit made everybody uneasy except his diehard supporters who normally cheer at anything their misleader throws up. His two partners in failure were almost as spiteful and their lust for power and the treasury prevented the duo from seeing what others see in them; nothing. It is now clear that the three racketeers, The Fox and The Banker, and The Traitor, believe hate is the best quality in a leader and what the country needs more of.

Everybody loves an enemy.

The Things We Choose

bikini on the bay

One reason people choose a particular political party is for the same reason they choose a particular sports team, religion, or Carnival Band. It fills a psychological need. Naturally, nobody goes around telling themselves they are voting for party H or going to the Sunday worship of religion G because it’s psychological. That would be unromantic and may even trigger bouts of depression characterized by wild sex on yachts. Humans need to belong to groups with nice sounding names in order to have an identity. It gives people a purpose and their leaders some extra income. Religion, political affiliation, team support, social standing, bra size and vibrator color are some of the more popular groupings. These groupings may be inherited, acquired through a process of intelligent analysis, or simply be as a result of being invited to join because one met the specifications. Some people may even end up belonging to a group by chance, for example, green may have been the only color on sale at the toy store on that lonely night. Despite our best efforts, some groups we are hopelessly stuck with.

Belonging to a group is not the end of it, and finding reasons why a person’s selected group is better that the other groups is also necessary. It’s no point thinking your selected group is made up of a bunch of wimps and misfits. My chosen group must be able to beat up your chosen group, is what people think. This is where the mudslinging, cutting up of banners, renting of polls, and the spray painting of vibrators in the dead of night comes in. People need to be happy with the thought that their group is the best and the reasons can be illogical and comical. Some groups use fear of other groups to gain and retain support, while others use concerts. One criterion some people use to select a group is the apparent size of the group where biggest means the best. Others use the group’s sense of fashion and how well their leader can act while rolling his “r”s. Even people who do not support any religion, political party, or have no social standing belong to unofficial groupings. These would be the people who either think and analyze, or are too lazy to think and analyze.

Choosing a group may be no different to choosing a car color or girl in a bikini. Any one would do since both would provide the same basic functionality regardless of car color or bikini stringiness. The only difference is one particular auto color or one particular type of spandex enclosed shape may look better and impress friends more in the daylight.

It would appear there is no such thing as only choosing wisely and ultimately we choose what makes us happy because Man is ruled by emotion, not logic.