Dinner Mints – Something To Suck


The Dinner Mint is the second most sucked item in Trinidad and Tobago and is part of the country’s identity. The sweet is adored by all and it doesn’t matter if the Dinner Mint is made by KC or Diana. In Trinidad and Tobago, Dinner Mints are used as a breath freshener, a meal, a kitchen table decoration, fast foreplay, and also a form of currency. Only last week I received three dollars and two Dinner Mints change from a Doubles Vendor in Curepe and had to hold the Mints to the light to make sure it wasn’t counterfeit. Some of the better Vendors also display a rate of exchange table. It’s only a matter of time before Ewart Williams starts to put his signature  next to the Be Mine Tonight comment on Dinner Mint wrappers.

The Dinner Mint is popular among restaurant owners and is given to customers along with the bill. The reason being the mint can sometimes hide the smell of curry duck and rum from the boss.  The price of Dinner Mints has increased over the years and it joins the ranks of Crix and Ping Pong as items that were once affordable to the poor. However, price increases and the Chinese have not made Dinner Mints less popular in Trinidad and Tobago since the average Trini must have something to suck all the time.

The Problem With UDECOTT


The biggest problem with UDECOTT isn’t that the public thinks it is a corrupt organization staffed with people who are born to be crooked. The biggest problem with UDECOTT isn’t that the designers of the Brian Lara Stadium couldn’t tell the difference between a tulip and a coconut tree. The biggest problem isn’t even the stadium may become a billion dollar white elephant and make Israel Khan more angry. The Biggest problem isn’t even with the millions of taxpayers’ dollars that is being spent on lawyers to defend foolish men employed by taxpayers against taxpayers.

The biggest problem with UDECOTT is that the masses who screamed about the corruption with the Piarco Airport Terminal are now silent and indifferent about UDECOTT. These are the masses that are on standby to either wave a flag in support of something that can’t be defended logically or keep their tail between legs. It depends on what their Leader says and not their brains.

People in Trinidad and Tobago believe right and wrong isn’t based on logic but based on who thief. Kevin Baldeosingh,  in his masterful Trini trolleys and More Trini trolleys articles, pointed this out. Sadly, Trinidad and Tobago hasn’t developed into a logic-thinking  society but into something frightening.

Earth Hour 2009


Millions of homes, businesses, and tall Government buildings will be shutting off lights for one hour tonight in support of Earth Hour. This is being done to highlight to World Leaders the need for energy conservation and something to blog about. Lighting accounts for 11% of a home’s electricity bill in the US but in Trinidad and Tobago it is less because of the dense streetlight population. During this one hour of darkness from 8:30 to 9:30 pm people are being urged to switch off all lights and take a moonlight stroll, get fit by running from bandits, or make love in those nearby bushes you had your eye on for so long. The Las Vegas Strip and parts of Beetham will go dark for one hour tonight but possibly for different reasons.

If lights-off becomes a habit the world will not only last longer but the population may increase if people don’t know what they are doing in the dark. This blog is urging people to tell a friend but stay away from Bougainvillea tonight.

Please Complete – The Cabinet Note

humor_kiss_my_ass_red_shirtA Cabinet Note was discovered pinned to a tee-shirt which was found in a shinny, black, new SUV. Here is the content of that note and it is being made public for the first time.


Dear Cabinet,

Here is a list of things I want done ASAP since many, many years is a long time even by my standards (for those who don’t know or are just too stupid ASAP means As Soon As Possible and sometimes pronounced Ass Arp or Ass Up in your case). These things are not to be done for the Summit but for the lovely people. Please have all task finished at least seven days before 17th April.

  • Paint concrete dividers on the highway so that drivers and dignitaries will notice how clean they look and think our hands are also clean. Have no fear; we will stick posters on them before the Local Gov elections.
  • Cut trees in airport car park so that thieves can be seen smashing car windows to get to valuables and bags of bene balls left on car seats. Seeing is believing.
  • Cut trees near lighthouse to prevent the Sea Lots bandits from hiding in them. Those bandits will have to hide elsewhere so think of somewhere else for them to hide. Bandits are our friends and supporters.
  • Widen road near Light House so that people will feel we want them to come to town.
  • Get somebody at UDECOTT to make up another completion date for the white…I mean the Brian Lara Stadium.
  • Pave airport tarmac to accommodate VIPs (for those who do not know or are simply stupid it means Very Important Planes)
  • Cut bush where necessary.
  • Install CCTV where it matters.
  • Remove tints from cars so we can see who we looking for with the CCTV.
  • Move the homeless but make it sound humane. I don’t care what you do with them since most don’t have ID cards.
  • Promise the Unions dialogue since talk is cheap.
  • Lock down appropriate areas.
  • Promise the people anything to keep them from burning tires.
  • Monitor blogs which are critical of the Government and take appropriate action but keep action quiet.

p.s. Mr. Minister of Works, why am I paying a consultant to tell the public the steel no good. I have a good feeling to pay him from your cu…your salary.


Jesssica Alba and Kate Winslet – Nudity

Sin City

Sin City

Sexy sex kitten, Jessica Alba, does not want to be type cast as a sex kitten in future roles and does not want to do nudity in movies. She probably feels she is capable of being more than a shape and now wants to try words. Kate Winslet has been nominated for six Oscars and won Best Actress in 2009 for the Movie which she did the most nudity, The Reader.

Kate Winslet - The Reader - Nudity

Kate Winslet - The Reader - Nudity

There will always be people against  any form of nudity and sex in movies but you can’t stop the  sex  because movies are about life and you can’t have life without sex, or a test tube. It is also difficult to have proper sex without nudity.

Sometimes a forceful point can only be made with nudity as was the case in The Reader. One reviewer said there was too much nudity in the movie but  how else can film makers attract a young audience to artistic movies. The Reader was not phonographic  but the first half hour was eventful.

Jessica Alba wallpaper

Jessica Alba wallpaper

Nudity has been abused in some movies and it is sometimes used to prevent the audience from going into a coma, as done with porn movies. The plot in most pornographic flicks can numb even the dullest brain so nudity is used as the device to keep the audience alert and even erect.

Maybe Jessica Alba should shun showing her entire body to an eager audience since her body may prevent the audience from noticing the rest of her. Some actresses may be very comfortable wearing shorts on magazine covers but being nude on the big screen can be like a photographer without a camera on Carnival Day.

England and the West Indies vs Duckworth-Lewis


Never send a cricket coach to do a statistician’s job ~ aka_lol (2009)

West Indies cricket Coach John Dyson gave England the glory of a statistical victory rather than let the West Indian batsmen plod to almost certain defeat because of fading light in the lightless Providence Stadium in Guyana.

It was the move of a lifetime when Dyson waved the batsmen in. The batsmen were confused as there was no scrolling banner below the scoreboard saying which team was Duckworth-Lewis ahead and there was no communications between Dyson and the Match Referee. It was all down to the nail-biting misinterpretation of the Duckworth-Lewis charts by Dyson. Another fine day for Cricket.

Discrimination Based on Beauty

I am here for the interview

I am here for the interview - when can I start

There is a picture of a pretty girl on the front page of the job section in a newspaper today. This girl will be employed at the drop of a feather and it doesn’t matter how padded her resume is, or how well she blows her interview.

Pretty girls are always employed before plain looking ones and you only have to look around most offices to prove this. Hundreds of papers and articles on beauty discrimination  have been written by mainly not so good looking women. These jilted women are crying discrimination and are calling for a level playing field and not a big chest. Psychologist claim the bias towards beauty is caused by the halo effect where beauty is automatically associated with intelligence, competence and a good time. “Never underestimate the ‘halo effect,'” says Janice Guler, Ceridian’s director of staffing. “Attractive people are assumed to be intelligent and successful, and it’s been said that as many as 50 percent of managers make their hiring decisions within the first 30 seconds of setting eyes on an applicant. While this is unfortunate, it’s human nature. People have a real tendency to trust their gut, rather than trusting the empirical data.” But less attractive women are also employed since somebody has to do the work and do it well. The less attractive is normally the engine that runs successful companies but the beautiful are always more fun to have around.

An after work Friday lime with the boss

An after work Friday lime with the boss

Some employers facing beauty-discrimination lawsuits are training their managers in the art of  ignoring beauty but short skirts and tight tops are proving hard to defeat. HR Departments are making interviewers aware of  beauty bias but some managers insist life is too short to go ugly.

It’s unfair to ask pretty girls to be attractive, and to strut their stuff from desk, to copier, to the boss’s desk plus do work. It is just too stressful and the last thing anybody wants to do is to stress the beautiful. It’s almost a sin. I am not saying pretty girls are not competent but nobody notices or cares. That is probably another curse of the beautiful.

Trinidad and Tobago FAQ


Where is Trinidad and Tobago located?

10°40′N 61°31′W, if you are into coordinates. If you are not then Trinidad and Tobago is located South-East of Grenada, a former communist run country that was officially invaded by the US to put that nonsense to an end.

What is Trinidad and Tobago‘s total surface area?

Since you may be American I would say 1,978 sq miles. If you are anybody else it is 5,128 sq km.

How is the island’s climate?

That is a tricky one since this year we are still waiting for our traditional bush fires fueled by dry bush and glowing cigarette butts. According to the Metrological Services of Trinidad and Tobago, we have two seasons; the Dry Season and The Wet Season. No, Carnival time is not the official wet season.

What do I wear?

Wear whatever you want except for being topless and or bottomless anywhere in public. Visitors should be tastefully attired while the regular citizens shop at Francis Fashions, Detour, Catwalk and Westport. The more fortunate citizens shop in Miami and NY.

Is Trinidad and Tobago a rugged island?

Some of the men, like this Blogger, are quite rugged. Other than that there is the Northern Range Mountains which is not only located in the north of Trinidad but is scenic, and dangerous to hike since the criminal elements can hide weapons and bodies for indefinite periods without being discovered by the Police. Don’t even ask why.

What are the natural resources of Trinidad and Tobago?

We have some oil and gas left. Currently, we are trying to also market Bikinis and Beads but Ken and Len are clueless about that type of thing.

Is the island environment protected?

It depends who you ask. The Government will always say yes but the fish in The Gulf of Praia, the birds in the Bird Sanctuary and a couple lecturers from The University of The West Indies will say something else. An aluminum plant is currently being built, causing much uneasiness for some and much indifference to the rest of the population. We just want to get home on evenings without traffic lights and peeling off tints.

What is the estimated population?

The population is approximately 1.3 million but with the murder and crime rate being so high the migration rate has increased significantly. The Government seems cool with that and seems cool with everything. It is not a problem is the motto of this Government. The population growth in the country appear to be static and this has been attributed to the proper use of condoms, early withdrawals, infertility brought about by too much KFC in the diet, and stress brought about by crime (including UDECOTT) and CL Financial.

Is Trinidad and Tobago a young population island?

At Carnival a large percentage of the population becomes young while the rest buy pirate DVDs or go to the beach.

0-14 years: 19.8% (male 124,480/female 118,725)
15-64 years: 72.6% (male 458,338/female 435,829)
65 years and over: 7.6% (male 40,250/female 53,701) (2008 est.)

Ethnically, how is Trinidad and Tobago divided?

Quite nicely.

Indian (South Asian) 40%, African 37.5%, mixed 20.5%, other 1.2%, unspecified (Colombians) 0.8% (2000 census)

What language is spoken?

Most of the population speaks English but local politicians speak a language of their own which has no meaning and cannot be translated into any know language on this planet.

What is the capital of Trinidad and Tobago?

Port of Spain is the capital of both Islands with Scarborough the capital of Tobago. St. Joseph was once the capital but now all that is left to mark the former capital is an ugly sign put up by the Carib Beer people in front of the old St. Joseph Police Station.

Is there crime on the islands?

Crime and our inability to curb it is the biggest joke in the world. The murder rate is on the upswing and the police competence is an all time low. The police cannot be trusted and even serious crime is sometimes not reported.

What is the island’s legal system?

The rich can afford a better quality of justice. Some lawyers are very rich because the system was designed to make them so. Lawyers have a keen interest in the court delays. Some lawyers, and most women say, the longer the better.

How is the legislative branch divided?

One judge said he should have been appointed to the High Court and thinks there is a clique within the judiciary which he is not a member, so there is some division and he was hanging on a branch when he said that.

Is the local economy stable?

We will find out after the Summits but with UDECOTT overrunning finish lines and with the price of drapes and night stands out of control, who knows.

Is sightseeing around the island safe?

Yes, there is much to see but please consult your local embassy before venturing far from an honest policeman.

Michael Jackson – “This Is It!”


Michael Jackson

Michael Jackson - 1958 to 2009

Michael Jackson died today, he was 50 years old.  Michael Jackson was the greatest performer who ever lived and has left the world a better palace. 25th June 2009


Michael Jackson has fallen on hard times and has stooped to touring to make ends meet. He will be performing in London in July, August, September this year and January and February next year. All the tickets for the shows announced have been sold and the price of tickets were between £50 and £75 (TT$450 toTT$680). 48 shows have been announced so far with 20,000 people each show.  The London tour is called “This Is It!”

michael-jackson-bad-4175021Michael Jackson is 50 years old but doesn’t look a day over 80. He has been described as weird and abnormal by some and as Bad and Dangerous by those who know his music. He will never hit a celebrity girlfriend and has sold over 750 million records so far. His album Thriller is the largest selling album of all time and the 25th Anniversary of Thriller was released last year. Michael Jackson is by far the most successful recording artist in the history of recording artist. People are curious about Michael Jackson’s health and wondering if he is up to touring since it was reported he had health issues recently. Hopefully he has been practicing his trademark Moon Walk and keeping away from drugs and plastic.

mikejack25thMichael Jackson started off as a child and was born Michael Joseph Jackson. He is famous for being called “The King of Pop,” dethroning Cocoa-Cola many years ago. His life has been full of controversy and all the public wants from MickJack is a few more songs and dances while he still can. Hopefully the days of controversy are over and a new Michael Jackson will be released in London.


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Bold Blackberry Blogger


Barack Obama might be the Blackberry President but aka_lol will soon be the Blackberry Blogger. The Blackberry is the productivity tool which will allow aka to replace doodling during meetings with blogging. With his Blackberry, aka will not only have access to email in real-time but he will now be able to impress women even when his batteries are low. The Bold is aka’s choice since it is a sleek device that is good to look at, nice to hold, and vibrates to get attention, much like aka. But the similarity doesn’t end there as both the Blackberry and aka can be soothing and addictive.

Will Chris Brown Hit Rihanna Again?

brownrihanna_dwgWill Chris Brown hit Rihanna again? Many people think he will.  A cbs5.com report on the Internet said “A Los Angeles police affidavit alleges that on Feb. 8, Brown punched, bit and choked Rihanna until she nearly lost consciousness.” A Yahoo report gave some more details. This was obviously no simple beating.

I am no expert but I think Mr Brown will hit again and he may hit harder and choke longer next time. If Rihanna is back with Chris Brown again it is probably her way of dealing with the embarassment of being beaten by the one she loves or loved. Rihanna probably wants to tell the world she is ok and ko(ed). The message Rihanna is sending to domestic violence victims is that it wasn’t so bad. The message she is sending to abusers like Chris Brown is give her your best shot. The experts, including Oprah, seem to think this is a bad and dangerous  move by Rihanna. I agree.

Service Charge in Trinidad and Tobago


The so called better restaurants In Trinidad and Tobago add a 10% service charge then 15% VAT to the prices on the menus. A burger advertised at TT$80 will cost the customer TT$101.20 before the tip. The service charge goes to the owner and does not replace  tips, which are the main source of income for servers. For years researchers have been trying to discover why the service charge is added in Trinidad and Tobago but no legal or logical reason was ever found. This lack of a good reason led customers to believe the service charge came from greedy restaurant owners and not from any higher power.

Ethical behavior is not something you will get from restaurant owners in Trinidad and Tobago and padding bills with service charge is proof of this. If restaurant owners want to charge 10% more they should print the revised prices on the menu. I hope restaurant owners realize soon there will be less expats with expense accounts in the country and owners will not be able to charge what they like. I don’t want restaurants to go out of business and create unemployment but I want owners to realize the boom is over and people are not stupid.




Isn’t CIB, Clico Investment Bank and CIBC, two different financial institutions? Why did the Trinidad Express make such a big mistake on its front page? I think somebody will be suing somebody and it’s not going to be a laughing matter. In this day and age where everybody is jittery about financial institutions this front page mistake and headline by the Express can do nobody any good.  The correction was made on The Express website but my newspaper wasn’t changed.  Thankfully, it’s a Sunday.


Porsche Cayenne – Hot Like Pepper


A nicely appointed Porsche Cayenne sells for TT$850,000  in Trinidad and Tobago. Naturally, the quoted price was for the bare-bones model which may not have intermittent wipers or a full spare tire. Based on US prices, however,  the fully loaded Cayenne Turbo S can cost three times as much but it has a nice horn.

porsche_logoThe Porsche appeared on a full page, color ad on last Saturday’s Trinidad Express. I was amazed that the local agent for Porsche, Lifestyle Motors, would be so brazen with the price since the Honda agent in Trinidad, Classic Motors, never publish the price of the lowly Civic or any of their cars. The Porsche ad was obviously aimed at the successful in society like UDECOTT officials, their lawyers, stadium builders, runway pavers/repavers, CL Financial executives, and drug dealers. There is a possibility a Government Minister with a lose belt might also be interested.

Porsche Cayman-S

Porsche Cayman-S

When a man drives a Porsche the public can assume that man already has a big house in a fancy location, a wife in the same location, a mistress in another location, a cat, a dog and a few children to prove he can have them. That man probably gives one hundred dollars every month to charity and spends time boasting about it. Because of the heavy tints Porsche owners get away with, it is almost impossible to see who is driving the Porsche yet the public is still willing to say “oohh and ahh” when the Porsche goes by.

Porsche Diesel Super - Tractor

Porsche Diesel Super - Tractor

Though some people in Trinidad are aware of the Porsche brand the average person has no idea how much a Porsche cost. The average person thinks in terms of foreign-used AD Wagons and I feel the full page ad was placed as a public service to Porsche owners since nobody would buy a Porsche if onlookers don’t know how expensive a Porsche really is.

Welcome to Trinidad and Tobago, President Obama


Dear Mr. President,

I am writing  to welcome you and your wife to our beautiful country and despite what you were told by certain politicians, this country belongs to all citizens and a few multinationals.

Sir, when you land at the Piarco International Airport with Air Force One I would advise you have your pilot check the runway for cracks. A new section of the tarmac is being paved by a contractor who, let’s put it this way, gets away with murder in this country. This contractor has done shoddy work on the runway before and was paid a huge sum to correct his mistakes. But I hope he gets it right this time. I also hope the Chinese contractor can finish the refurbishment of the Old Airport Terminal Building in time for the Summit. The Contractor is using Chinese labor so it should be ready. I think the same contractor is in charge of keeping dogs from straying onto the runway. Also, don’t forget to sign your customs declaration form since our customs officers can get nasty if you don’t. Customs don’t care who you are.

I know you wouldn’t be driving into Port of Spain in the traffic regular citizens have to put up with every day. This is unfortunate since you can only know people when you see how they behave in traffic. I don’t want to say any more but it is not a pretty sight. Use the Priority Bus Route but make sure you get a pass from the Minister of Works first. Try not to meet this Minister in person since he thinks he is better than the average citizen and lets everyone know it.  He is not a well liked person.

I don’t want to dwell on the negative side of Trinidad and Tobago but the amount of murders for the year will be 110 by the time I type this full stop. I know it sounds high for a country as small as ours but our Government has tried every trick in the book to keep us from noticing. The crime  situation is very bad and every time our Minister of National Security goes on TV and says things are going to get better two or three people are murdered. Sometimes I feel these murderers have no respect for The Minister. Also, it wouldn’t be right if I didn’t warn you about the Beetham. If you ever get stuck in traffic or get a flat tire in that area you have to be careful. The Beetham Bandits snatch cell phones and rob people at gunpoint in broad daylight. Be careful with your Blackberry.

Every country has its fair share of jokers who pose as Opposition Leaders and Trinidad and Tobago is no exception. You might meet the Opposition Leader and you would know him by the way he rolls his R’s and pretends to be honest. I can’t say too much about him other than he had a hand in the construction of the new airport terminal and owns a political party.

The recession has not hit us as bad as it did your country but we are always a little behind. Everyone is looking out for it but some feel we will start to feel the best effects after the Summit. The Summit is costing us plenty money but according to our Prime Minister we will have long term benefits such as government funding to keep citizens safe and  TSTT wireless Internet. Citizens are thankful for the Summit since without the Summit the Government would have spent the money on more tall buildings and drapes.

I hope by now you had the time to visit mayarobeach.com. It is a cool website with Trinidad and Tobago photos including hundreds of Trinidad Carnival pictures. I am sure you will like what you see. Trinidad and Tobago looks very nice without local politicians.

I hope you enjoy your stay and have a rewarding Summit. We in Trinidad and Tobago look forward to all the investment opportunities the Summit will bring to our shores and hope you can buy more oil and gas from us at better prices. We don’t want to beg but if we have to we will.

Best Regards,



p.s. don’t forget to try the Shark and Bake and read this blog