Dear Mr. President,
I am writing to welcome you and your wife to our beautiful country and despite what you were told by certain politicians, this country belongs to all citizens and a few multinationals.
Sir, when you land at the Piarco International Airport with Air Force One I would advise you have your pilot check the runway for cracks. A new section of the tarmac is being paved by a contractor who, let’s put it this way, gets away with murder in this country. This contractor has done shoddy work on the runway before and was paid a huge sum to correct his mistakes. But I hope he gets it right this time. I also hope the Chinese contractor can finish the refurbishment of the Old Airport Terminal Building in time for the Summit. The Contractor is using Chinese labor so it should be ready. I think the same contractor is in charge of keeping dogs from straying onto the runway. Also, don’t forget to sign your customs declaration form since our customs officers can get nasty if you don’t. Customs don’t care who you are.
I know you wouldn’t be driving into Port of Spain in the traffic regular citizens have to put up with every day. This is unfortunate since you can only know people when you see how they behave in traffic. I don’t want to say any more but it is not a pretty sight. Use the Priority Bus Route but make sure you get a pass from the Minister of Works first. Try not to meet this Minister in person since he thinks he is better than the average citizen and lets everyone know it. He is not a well liked person.
I don’t want to dwell on the negative side of Trinidad and Tobago but the amount of murders for the year will be 110 by the time I type this full stop. I know it sounds high for a country as small as ours but our Government has tried every trick in the book to keep us from noticing. The crime situation is very bad and every time our Minister of National Security goes on TV and says things are going to get better two or three people are murdered. Sometimes I feel these murderers have no respect for The Minister. Also, it wouldn’t be right if I didn’t warn you about the Beetham. If you ever get stuck in traffic or get a flat tire in that area you have to be careful. The Beetham Bandits snatch cell phones and rob people at gunpoint in broad daylight. Be careful with your Blackberry.
Every country has its fair share of jokers who pose as Opposition Leaders and Trinidad and Tobago is no exception. You might meet the Opposition Leader and you would know him by the way he rolls his R’s and pretends to be honest. I can’t say too much about him other than he had a hand in the construction of the new airport terminal and owns a political party.
The recession has not hit us as bad as it did your country but we are always a little behind. Everyone is looking out for it but some feel we will start to feel the best effects after the Summit. The Summit is costing us plenty money but according to our Prime Minister we will have long term benefits such as government funding to keep citizens safe and TSTT wireless Internet. Citizens are thankful for the Summit since without the Summit the Government would have spent the money on more tall buildings and drapes.
I hope by now you had the time to visit mayarobeach.com. It is a cool website with Trinidad and Tobago photos including hundreds of Trinidad Carnival pictures. I am sure you will like what you see. Trinidad and Tobago looks very nice without local politicians.
I hope you enjoy your stay and have a rewarding Summit. We in Trinidad and Tobago look forward to all the investment opportunities the Summit will bring to our shores and hope you can buy more oil and gas from us at better prices. We don’t want to beg but if we have to we will.