Shrinking Happiness

This blog first appeared today (24-11-2005) as a comment on the popular blog Just Stuff. In the absence of any new material aka decided to publish this as his blog for today. This blog has been slightly edited to fit nothing specific.

I am also skeptical about the perpetual show of happiness and optimism. Now, please note, I am not a pessimist but I know the mind simply cannot tolerate too many “happy pills” for too long. Yep, that’s my theory about those who refuse to give up their good cheer and that irritating bubbly tone of voice for even a second.

I have a theory which also states that sadness and depression has a positive effect on the economy and the progress of the Planet as we know it. Without sadness and depression there would not be the multi-billion-dollar drug (legal) industry churning out the likes of Paxil, Viagra and various colon clensers. There would also be less psychologist buying yachts, beachfront homes and penthouse apartments for their girlfriends, while their wives sign up for liposuction, facelifts and boy toys. Needless to say the reason why some are called shrinks might have some relation to their chronic use of, and need for Viagra.

I think happiness is very similar to Aptie’s Chicken Roti, Joe’s Pepperoni Pizza and other perversions which may or may not involve meat dishes. If you have it everyday it doesn’t taste as good. We would indeed be happier people if we learn to quell extended periods of happiness just so that it doesn’t become worn and incite our friends to blog about it. The worst thing that could happen to a person is for sadness and depression to creep up on them. We would be much better off if we control when these bouts of unhappiness were to appear. Similar to medication we all need happiness but only in small doses and only at the times we choose.

Christmas With The Martians

It was on Christmas day 1953 when the Martians first landed on our planet. These aliens had no idea that Christmas Day was a War Holiday since they had downloaded the CIA World Fact book from the CIA’s website nearly two years before and were pleasantly surprised at the amount of hostility and bloodshed on planet Earth. Little did they know this “Intelligence Agency disguised as a website” was a war-based organization that seldom documents peace and joyous events in a good light. Based also on their searches on Google, Planet Earth seemed to be the ideal planet for a Martian vacation resort and conference center. Unfortunately the bloated Martian Government report titled “Planets We Should Invaded – aka Hostile Atmospheres for Martians – aka 101 Things Brain Dead Governments Should Do Before Christmas” didn’t paint Earth as even a remotely aggressive Planet after the Christmas Landing of 53. Martians are a people (oxymoron) who strive on War and other forms of meaningless aggression. The aliens from The Red Planet would not last a week if someone repeatedly greeted them with “Peace On Earth,” “Joy To The World” or even the worn, hidden-aggressive greeting “Have a nice day.” Their body chemistry and odor would never allow it. Needless to say this lack of Earth invasion by The Martian military may soon come to an end since Earth as a possible planet for a Martian invasion comes up for review sometime in 2007 by the Happiness Committee of Mars, who is actually scheduled to visit a shopping mall on Earth a few days before Christmas this year.

p.s: This blog was inspired by the first Christmas blog for the Season. Please visit The Cuke Is In during the week and selected holidays between normal opening and closing blogging hours.

Universal Filler

To put my thoughts in writing is taking less and less effort. The reason; I am having fewer and fewer thoughts. A blank mind is a receptive mind is one of the biggest fallacies of our time. A blank mind is blank for a reason and the reason is usually not good. Look at all the great blank minds of our times and you would see what I mean. I am more like a drop of oil on an ocean of water; spreading very thin on the surface until I appear one with the water. In reality I have become unnoticeable but happy. That’s another thing, being inconspicuous doesn’t mean having no effect. Look at the wind in the hurricane season – the inconspicuous has decided to make its power known. It’s like the silent majority banding together or a speck of dust in your eye. Those would be poor examples but poor examples cause more neuron activity than good examples. Symmetrical shapes are only briefly admired but an unsymmetrical woman burdens the mind for much longer. Since the mind isn’t perfectly symmetrical it gets turned on by some of the weirdest things like hairless moles above the lip, spaced out front teeth and long legs in tight jeans (even short legs for that matter.) By now you may be wondering what is the purpose of this particular blog and I can’t blame you for wondering. I can’t blame you because I don’t know you as well as I think. We never know what people are like until we lend them money, try to cut in front of them in traffic or go out with their girlfriends. The point I am trying to make is very simple and it is this. Jeez, I forgot what it was again….oh yes, now I remember. The reason we blog is not for the entertainment of others or that we are overflowing with wisdom, but because the Universe is filled with empty space (as opposed to filled space which is probably an oxymoron), and blogging is just one more way in which the Universe is attempting to do away with unstable equilibrium and other oxymorons.

Random Thoughts – Two

  • I never sleep late because my mind won’t let me. My mind has a mind of its own. There are advantages to getting up early such as sunrises and quiet. There is a distant neighborhood rooster who insists on announcing daybreak but lately I am beating him to it. No, I am not the new neighborhood cock, and FYI rooster and cock are synonyms. I suppose if the rooster didn’t crow in the morning he would be considered a dysfunctional rooster, and we all know what happens to dysfunctional roosters.
  • I recently found a good recipe for pelau. I am not big on cooking but I think cooking is a soul-satisfying art form just as photography is, except you can’t download the results to your PC or email it to friends. I understand some dishes were put, or is it thrown, on walls but not for beautification purposes. However, photography and cooking are similar because when done poorly they both can induce nausea.
  • Photography is amazing because it trains the photographer to see what no one else sees and to look when there is nothing to look at. It can help eliminate boredom and, by extension, reduce insanity levels. It can also cause your friends and acquaintances to whisper whenever you approach and give praise when you are gone.
  • My friends are poor photographic subjects since Photoshop doesn’t have a “remove ugly” feature just yet. That might be Photoshop’s biggest challenge to date and we can only wait and hope for a breakthrough 🙂 I think the World is now spending more on eradicating ugly than on eradicating deadly human diseases.
  • Our second Local Over-Inflated Wonder, The Blimp, (the first being our leader’s head), flew over my house on the 30th of September 2005 at approximately 10:50 am. I suppose The Blimp was on an intelligence gathering mission. Apparently, no signs of intelligence could be found inside The Blimp on landing so the mission was deemed a failure, and as a result, the floating cash drain felt deflated.