Jack to Learn New Trade


jackLocal personality, charming politician, and football fiend, Jack Warner, said to his tens of thousands of followers and detractors last night at the airport that corruption built,”I’ll be back.” Mr Warner, a self-made self-terminator, was about to get on a flight bound to a land not too far away. He was accompanied by armed security guards who will ensure he gets to his final destination safely.

Many were sad while many were glad. “You could say what yuh want, Jack could run he mouth,” said one supporter clad in a spent-green tee-shirt. A detractor dressed in bright yellow swore a little too casually about how Jack used to be good until he turned green. Panday, a one-time very close friend and an almost-enemy of Jack, and now a career political dead-horse, said he wanted to hug Jack but felt he might get, or even be, carried away. Ramesh, another popular, fulltime dead-horse and professional  opportunist thinks Mr. Warner was misunderstood by those who liked him and fully understood by investigators.

A noticeable chunk of the general election economy will be seriously hit by Mr. Warner’s sudden departure as mike men, tee-shirt makers and green paint suppliers start to count their losses. When the leader of the Opposition was asked to comment he simply said “I told you so.” The Prime Minister did not immediately return calls for a comment from this blog but shortly after released a brief statement saying “Jack Who?”

https://akalol.wordpress.com/2013/04/29/jack-will-be-history-in-the-future/

Corruption in Trinidad and Tobago – An Overview


It takes two to fuel corruption, the corrupter and the corruptee and just like the chicken and the egg no one knows for sure who came first but many are glad they are both here. I often wonder what Trinidad and Tobago would be like without corruption. Would there be as many high-price condos, Benz, Beamers, Jaguars, Audis, Porsches, Range Rovers, highways, box drains, flights to the US, high foreign exchange demands, happiness and scantily clad women on the scene. Would there even be a national stadium much less a big abandoned one down South. Would the churches even get as much forgiveness money and the millions to thank their gods for the wealth?

Corruption is a striving industry in Trinidad and Tobago and it is many things to many people and everything to some politicians. It is the way some public servants can face wealthy business men without the shame of overdue mortgage payments and middle-class poverty hanging over their heads. Corruption is possibly nature’s way of leveling a playing field or building an airport. It is always good to speak out on corruption and probably almost as good as getting away with it. The institutions to prevent or discourage corruption in this country are incorruptible and without the boosterless brakes they provide, corruption would not be as sophisticated as it is today.

The politicians like to suggest on the political stage that without corruption there will be more money for schools, teachers, poverty and drugs but without corruption there might not be a single person willing to get into politics. Corruption brings hope to not only the politician, the businessman, and the public servant, but to the nation and the better investigative journalists. Corruption not only feeds us, it entertains us on Sunday. It provides legal fees to half-dead lawyers and their lawyer friends. It gives the underpaid lawyers in the DPP’s office more work than they can handle. It is probably the predicted growth in the corruption industry which prompted the building of a huge law school down south. Corruption is addictive and any attempt to stop it will cause bribes to be paid to unstop it. Like fleas and ticks corruption is nearly impossible to get rid of and sucks our blood to stay alive.

Trinidad and Tobago Government Gives Population Buns


Hot Cross Buns - From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Hot Cross Buns – From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

The Government of Trinidad and Tobago has declared 2015 The year of the Hot Crossed Buns and in marking the occasion Hot Crossed Buns will be distributed through the country to every citizen and visitor, both legal and illegal. Naturally, a contract has been awarded to a new but mysterious baking company called Sistrum. This blog was reliably informed that it was only on Monday the Government went out to tender for the Manufacture and National Distribution of Hot Crossed Buns with an Extra Cross (Double Crossed Buns). The tender was evaluated on Tuesday and awarded the same day. Only one bid was received (Sistrum) and was said to meet and exceed all the requirements of the bun specification including the raisins per bun, thickness of the crosses, minimum bun diameter, amazing golden color and mouth-watering smell. The whole process was transparent.

A spokes person for Sistrum said the buns will be the first thing they ever bake and they already had the conveyor belts used in a quarry to crush local stones. It was only last week Sistrum received 1000 mega-large ovens from China and a Hot Cross Bun expert. Asked how come they had the ovens and an expert on order the spokes person said it was just plain luck and they like to order all kinds of things all the time. The contract is said to be worth tens of millions of dollars given the price of Hot Cross Buns on the international market. The established large bakeries in the country think there is something fishy about the whole deal but a Sistrum executive says this was probably due to the Lenten season. When the Minister of Finance was asked where the money will be coming from to fund the buns he simply said “eat yuh bun and shut up nah.” When further pressed about the unprecedented short time (one day) for the tender he said in any country emergencies happen and items such as buns must be procured at short notice. Asked if the supply of buns was a national emergency he simply said “no bun, no fun.”

The Prime Minister, in a short release from her office, said that every man, woman and child will be given buns and people should not worry too much about the award of the contract or how much taxpayers dollars Sistrum will be getting but instead enjoy and savor the flavor of the hot, hot cross buns. The army, police, NGOs, gang leaders and Jack Warner will be given the task on ensuring an equitable distribution of the baked goods. The man-on-the-street has applauded this latest Government initiative and has cancelled orders for buns from bakeries such as Linda’s, St. Mary’s and Kiss . “We like how de government moving and everybody is entitled to freeness like  education, box drains, tablets, lap tops and buns and thing. We hope we getting Easter Egg too nex year and turkey for thanks giving.”

Healdine Abuse, Sorry to Say


Trinidad Express

Trinidad Express

With all that is going on the political arena in Trinidad and Tobago, the Trinidad Express took the time to use its precious mind-swaying front-page to highlight a suspected personality flaw in the country’s top, home-grown, international Soca superstar, Machel Montano. Maybe it was because his alleged bad attitude took place at a town school fete is the reason it was given grossly exaggerated importance or some other ulterior or political motive – I don’t know.  I doubt the newspaper is being paid off by some Big Men with shares and money to distract the public from the real issues that are, and have always been plaguing the nation for some time – greed, dishonesty and wife-beating abilities of our elected and selected politicians. Maybe the newspaper is trying to tell the public that the thing we saw around the dark clouds was not a silver lining but the main ingredient in an orange juice shipment.

When I read the headline article I was sadly disappointed and enraged that the sound system was not up to professional standards. Also, that the reaction by the superstar, which seems to be a rejection of sloppiness, should now engage and enrage the normally weak minds of editors, journalists and other rum-oriented citizens via the front-page is unfortunate and even tragic. That Mr. Montano might be throwing temper tantrums all over the place for some very good reasons and a couple bad ones is not new, news or close to headline news. However, the discovery of a decomposing body which might be that of the missing Caribbean Airlines director is depressing and frightful thus should be fitting as a the main headline and a lifesaver given the need to alert unsuspecting visitors merrily flocking our shores for Carnival.

We are a country whose minds are shaped by our manipulative headlines and the chronic ignorance and bias of participants of talk shows rather than our ability to analyze anything beyond the superficial and emotional surface. If citizens of the land of the Humming Bird, corbeau and rotting corpses could see beyond their biases, hate and fear we would not have elected Team Manning and certainly not even give birth to, much less voted for Team Kamla and her band of smart men and thieves.

Jack vs Kamla – Random Pre-Fight Thoughts


Random Thought 1

A vote for Jack is really a vote against Kamla.

Random Thought 2

If Jack were to win the Chaguanas West by-election the newspaper headlines would read something like – Jack the Giant Slayer – Chaguanas West Goes Green – Jack Makes Kamla Turn Green With Envy.

Random thought 3

If Kamla were to win the headlines might read – Jack Falls Down So Kamla Holds On To Crown

Random Thought 4

For the many Green supporters in Trinidad and Tobago Jack, despite his reputed international affairs with money, is seen as more honest than the Kamla cabal. Before the Peoples Partnership got into power Jack was the moral and financial backbone of the party. Now that many contracts have been awarded and many of the select contractors paid, Jack’s money is now frowned upon by those who once were in love with it and slept with it nightly.  Jack is no longer needed to fund the UNC’s twelve full-page, full-color, please-please-please-vote-for-me ads in the Newsday on Sunday 28th July. To the majority of supporters of the PP, Kamla and company, after the unexpected big election victory, gave the spoils of the land to a small handful of financiers, completely forgetting why the country voted against the Manning regime. Despite the outcome of the Chaguanas West by-election Kamla and Company must understand that a large section of their supporters are extremely dissatisfied with their performance and they are seen as vindictive, greedy, dishonest, and self-serving. The Kamla-led UNC cabal is seen as no different to Manning and his madness and probably are even worse.

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Mark My Word…


mark-my-word

An interview with Mr. Warner which never happened:

Reporter: Mr. Warner, will you now be resigning from Cabinet?

Mr. Warner: Resign! Resign? Based on what? Some foolish report that ain’t even worth the paper it was written on. Resign! Yuh mad or what. Any Tom, Dick and David could produce a report and all yuh tripping all over alluh self with it. I tell you, I never hear so much foolishness in all my life. All yuh gullible  yes. Anybody see me thief any money? All yuh have it on CCTV? No, but all yuh saying Jack thief this and Jack thief dat. Mark my word, one day the truth will come out and it wouldn’t be nice. Mark my Word! Everybody after Jack. What it is I do all yuh so. Anybody see me thief ah property? Dey have it on YouTube? Nobody see me tief ah dam thing but all yuh saying I is a smart man. Not one single solitary soul see me thief but dey saying I must resign. Dey go have to goe before me. Mark my word. I never hear anything so foolish in any country before. If is mih back all yuh want to see ah goe take off mih shirt yuh knoe. Look, I have nothing more to say only to say one day the truth will come out and it wouldn’t be nice, Mark my word.  Ah gone, ah have to take care of the crime in de country. Laterz!

UPDATE: Jack Warner has finally resigned from cabinet. I wonder if any other resignations by JW are in store?

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Bad Food Country


Clever Packaging of Fast Food

Clever Packaging of Fast Food

Trinidad and Tobago is a frustrating country to live in not only because the police service can be selectively incompetent so as to intentionally start unrest but the population gets constant mixed signals from the authorities. On one hand foreign fast food franchises are government-encouraged and causing traffic all over the place while on the other the Minister of Health accuses citizens of being too fat and unhealthy from fast foods thus becoming a drain on the treasury. Not a big drain as kickbacks paid over the years to politicians and their friends but a drain on the public purse by the public is always looked upon with the highest disgust by holders of high office.

Hot cross bun

Hot cross bun

Yes, we as a country need food and jobs but it seems we are doing this at the expense of our health and foreign exchange. We are a bad food society and the lines of people buying fried food and chips at locations nationwide will always vastly outnumber the amount of people lining up to greet any former political hero on his or her way to buy something down town. I can sympathize with the Minister of Health’s frustration  as citizens always complain about the level of health care available while lounging on a couch, enjoying KFC and a massive Pepsi backed up with a current roll without raisins.

Beer

Beer

Despite high taxes on cigarettes and alcohol, these companies are immensely profitable due to the addictive nature of their products and the foolish people who buy them. It is no different with fried food with salt. High taxes are never a deterrent with addictions and taxing bad food to pay for dialysis seems as foolish as giving crooks access to the treasury and depending on integrity laws to keep them honest.

We need to take our lives in our own hands and fight the attraction of these toxic substances being sold  for high profit and packed in cleverly designed fast food boxes and brown paper bags.  Saying no to bad food will benefit the economy and the happiness index of the country. The turning of our collective backs on bad foods will start a good food revolution and also force doctors into more productive and humanitarian professions such as farming and engineering.  It will be a win win situation. 

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