Jack vs Kamla – Random Pre-Fight Thoughts

Crisis in Trinidad and Tobago

Random Thought 1

A vote for Jack is really a vote against Kamla.

Random Thought 2

If Jack were to win the Chaguanas West by-election the newspaper headlines would read something like – Jack the Giant Slayer – Chaguanas West Goes Green – Jack Makes Kamla Turn Green With Envy.

Random thought 3

If Kamla were to win the headlines might read – Jack Falls Down So Kamla Holds On To Crown

Random Thought 4

For the many Green supporters in Trinidad and Tobago Jack, despite his reputed international affairs with money, is seen as more honest than the Kamla cabal. Before the Peoples Partnership got into power Jack was the moral and financial backbone of the party. Now that many contracts have been awarded and many of the select contractors paid, Jack’s money is now frowned upon by those who once were in love with it and slept with it nightly.  Jack is no longer needed to fund the UNC’s twelve full-page, full-color, please-please-please-vote-for-me ads in the Newsday on Sunday 28^th July. To the majority of supporters of the PP, Kamla and company, after the unexpected big election victory, gave the spoils of the land to a small handful of financiers, completely forgetting why the country voted against the Manning regime. Despite the outcome of the Chaguanas West by-election Kamla and Company must understand that a large section of their supporters are extremely dissatisfied with their performance and they are seen as vindictive, greedy, dishonest, and self-serving. The Kamla-led UNC cabal is seen as no different to Manning and his madness and probably are even worse.

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National Jelly Bean Day – aka – World Dentistry Day

Today, April 22nd, is National Jelly Bean Day. The origin of the Jelly Bean is as mysterious as the origin of National Jelly Bean Day. Some say the Jelly Bean was created by a dentist who was short on cavities so he opened a bakery and confectionery store to feed his habit of extracting more money from his customers. The urban legend goes on to say the now infamous, filthy and rich dentist realized that the jam fillings in his iced cupcakes was not enough so he created the jellybean. The rest is oral history.

The Uff Report and Jail

Prof. John Uff

On the day the Uff Report was submitted to a happy looking President, the Prime Minister suddenly realized the people needed more hospitals and Summits. The Prime Minister did not say how the country was going to fund these hospitals or any project in the future since the country is nearly out of money, low on natural gas and expect the price of LNG to drop to around 1/8^th of its current low price in a couple years. It was also on the same day of the Uff Report WASA announced again the country will run out of water before the rain starts, so citizens will have to bathe less.

Calder Hart and possibly aka Carlos Corazón or even aka Manuel Digoutui

Luckily, the press did not fall for any of these Government-planned distractions and the first few pages of every newspaper featured the Uff Report and talked about the recommendation that some people involved in many big construction projects might have to go to jail if found guilty or if found. Sometime around the handing in of the Uff Report there was a newspaper article saying the corruption police, or is it the anti-corruption, ass-dragging police, couldn’t contact Calder Hart. I don’t know if they contacted the AG because the AG told the population not to worry, he knows how to contact Mr. Hart – The number you have reached is not in Service. Please get on a plane and get cracking. This is a recording. The police have to consider Mr. Hart may have changed his name to something like Carlos Corazón or Manuel Digoutui (Man-Well-Dig-Out-U-Eye).

in butt-saving-mode

The only thing the people are talking about  in Trinidad is corruption and a church in the Heights of Guanapo. Strangely, the Prime Minister is not addressing any of these issues in his pre-campaign trail excursions and instead continues to kiss those too young to read about him in the press and projects a body language which says “if you don’t support me I will destroy you.”  Our Prime Minister may not be well respected by the majority of the population because of his open expressions of hate for his countrymen but he is feared by all, especially  professional grass cutters and the Gang Land finance people.

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Beyonce Good for Trinidad and Tobago

I don’t think the money TSTT is spending to stage the Beyoncé Concert is exorbitant or unnecessary as it will bring more exposure and happiness to Trinidad and Tobago than the two useless summits held in the country last year along with the vindictive property tax. If Government Ministers are to be believed, the summits cost around a billion local dollars and caused nearly 99.99% of the World’s population to yawn almost in sync. Yet, when the Anya Ayoung-Chee sex-tape hit the Internet, Google was flooded with interest in Trinidad and Tobago, and genuine interest, not a corn soup level of interest. Some say the sex-tape was a fiasco but given the spate of suicide bombings and attempted terrorist attacks on the productive people of the world, I would say a sex-tape is a wonderful breath of fresh air for our country. But, I digress.

If staging the Beyoncé concert will take away sales from those who sell things for Carnival then it will show how weak Carnival really is among locals. It’s always better to know a weakness than to pretend it doesn’t exist. Beyoncé is World Class and world-known, and for a country the size of Trinidad and Tobago to stage a Beyoncé concert says more about our abilities as a country than holding useless Summits to entertain the top dummies from various countries. We have to stop pretending that world leaders are important and start recognizing the greater influences entertainers have on the world.

Despite the increase property tax, I am in favor of Beyoncé since she has a pretty face, great legs, wicked dancing ability and great personality. These characteristics are appreciated much more than the ability to lie to the public or to wrongly say one is stronger than a lion. To pretend that Beyoncé hasn’t done more for world hope and happiness than all the politicians in Trinidad and Tobago combined, is to continue to live in the delusion that we as a nation are as World Class as Beyoncé Giselle Knowles.

A Letter From a Tax Lover Found Only in Trinidad and Tobago

Dear Sirs and Madams of this Government,

I can’t begin to tell you how much I am looking forward to paying a higher property tax. I and hundreds of thousands of other citizens, known as the majority, are thrilled at the thought of giving more money to the Government to use in any way the Prime Minister sees fit, including private jet, big flag, useless conferences, house drapes, the Australians, the Chinese and Mr. Hart’s salary. I don’t expect you to use any of this newly discovered money on sick children since you  have proven over and over you have a big, big  Hart.

I know you instructed your scarcely literate police officers to guard Parliament with batons and guns to ensure unarmed protesters don’t embarrass the Government more than it is already embarrassed.  I hope these unpatriotic citizens learnt their lesson and will now put their proverbial tails between their proverbial legs and watch the show on TV next time.

Since I was a boy, I, like the majority of citizens who were unable to take a bribe because none was ever offered or just too honest, would delightfully drool at the thought of paying higher taxes to the Government. I am still not sure if I get the most excitement from paying a higher existing tax or paying a new tax. That is such a toss up. I like paying taxes so much that I sometimes throw my money down a fast running drain during the flood season to simulate the same effect. I once threw a hundred dollar bill in a stagnant drain near my home and after a year it remained just where I left it except it turned green – that’s probably a sign of the future devaluation of our money – blue to green.  I am also just as excited about the inevitable devaluation due to the expenditure on boats and drapes, as I am about the taxes. I only wish you could see how much my spine is tingling right now just thinking about it.

I thank you, my Government, for making my boyhood dream a reality, and though I might be poorer because of  more and new taxes, I feel richer because I know whose pockets the taxes will go into.

Delightly and painfully yours,

aka_lol – a Tax Lover

Tax Arrest – Trinidad Express

Tax Arrest – Cops Rain Blows on Union Membes – Trinidad Guardian

iPhone 4G takes a Life

Engineers normally don’t commit suicide since they know how to live. Unfortunately, a young Chinese engineer at FoxConn, Apple’s Chinese iPhone manufacturer, committed suicide after a prototype of Apple’s 4G iPhone went missing. The engineer, Sun Danyong, was given 16 prototypes of Apple’s iPhone 4G to ship to Apple but could only account for 15 a few days later. It is alleged the young graduate engineer was severely roughed up by Foxconn security and felt so humiliated he decided to jump to his death from a 12-storey building to end the pain. Though Sun was not an Apple employee the public might say his blood is partly on Apple’s hands. FoxConn’s security chief was suspended without pay but is still alive.  Apple’s statement on the issue said “We require our suppliers to treat all workers with dignity and respect.” The statement did not specify if dignity and respect is required before, during, or after a 4G prototype goes missing in China.

I am almost sure both Apple and FoxConn believe the life of a young Chinese engineer is worth more than a 4G prototype, regardless of which version firmware is installed or competition on the horizon.

Why Peter Peterson is Giving Away a Billion Dollars

Everybody wished they had a billion dollars to give away but many of us wouldn’t do it, I suppose. I don’t know, maybe I would. Too much and too little money can make us do crazy things but how much is enough? Well, Peter G. Peterson is giving away one billion dollars US, but unlike the billions politicians giveaway, the money is his. You can read his reasons in the article as it appeared in Newsweek but I want to quote a small bit from it:

Our representatives, unlike our Founding Fathers, see politics as a career. As a result, they are focused not on the next generation, but on the next election. When the long-term problems are large and real, they anesthetize us, mislead us, divert us—anything to keep us from giving up something or having to pay for it. Too often, our political leaders are just enablers, co-conspirators in a disingenuous and greedy silence. Our children are unrepresented. The future is unrepresented. The moment is long overdue for us to become moral and worthy ancestors.

We in Trinidad and Tobago suffer the same problem with politicians and several of our MPs are in it for the power. But we have an even bigger problem; we are still governed by a heartless Father and his equally callous band of followers.  Every time the people complain to our Father  either he, or a physically and intellectually short person speaks harshly to us.    They are only concerned about winning and unfortunately,  destroying who and what they can’t.

Curtains for Patrick

Yesterday’s Newsday carried an article which claimed that almost $TT 3 million was spent on drapes for the Prime Minister’s mansion. The title of the article was Manning’s $3M drapes but I felt it should have read Curtains for Patrick. It could be three million for drapes is a steal of a deal in China  but in Trinidad and Tobago it seems a little too much. Drapes weren’t the only thing the population paid for but also furniture and bedclothes at $ 7 million. What I had the biggest problem with was the not the drapes, the king size bed or even the $6, 400 nightstands but with the pillow cases at $158 each. I, like nearly all the population, would want the Prime Minister to sleep well but not that well and with my money under his head.

To be fair to the PM, these expenses were incurred at the height of  the economic boom and his ego. These spending facts are probably only the tip of the iceberg and it’s only a matter of time before everyone knows how much the executive at UDECOTT is being paid to be inefficient but not corrupt. The economic crunch is just starting to hit Trinidad and Tobago and foreign exchange is already in very short supply. Trinidad and Tobago is very foreign exchange dependent with all these nonproductive mega projects still being paid for in US dollars. Very soon foreign exchange control will be introduced to maintain a reasonable rate with apples and grapes being banned again. Without foreign exchange available to the common man the standard of life in Trinidad and Tobago will be different. People will start to complain as certain foreign items like powdered milk and SUV tires become scarce. I wouldn’t be surprised if there is soon a call by those pretentious Trade Unions and other opportunist to shut the country down for a few days like was done in Guadeloupe recently.

Belt tightening will be forced on the people but to hear it coming from a person as wasteful and insensitive as our Prime Minister just adds fuel to the fire. But if I was the PM I wouldn’t worry too much and Kevin Baldeosingh explained why in his Calypso Critique article. This recession doesn’t look like it will go away anytime soon and with billions of tax payers’ dollars going to the CL Financial bailout there will be less available to quiet the people. If only the Government had some shares to sell…

Saving Money The Old Fashion Way

Banks are losing the battle against mattresses.  With financial institutions crumbling and others under suspicion people are going back to the good old ways of saving money. Unlike with financial houses, mattresses offer savers the peace of mind of knowing where the money is once the mattress is theirs. Bankers, in an attempt to woo customers back have launched a campaign against the mattress. In a recent ad some bankers are claiming the mattress is an easy target for bandits and people should not be foolish with their money. The ad was signed Madoff, Duprey and Stanford.

It doesn’t matter if a person has ten dollars or ten billion dollars, mattresses are safe havens for both billionaires and paupers alike. Whether you put your money in Sealy, Serta or Lensyl the level of security and peace of mind is the same. However, there are differences in the way people bounce on the various models. Mattress companies are now seeing new opportunities and are developing something called the high-security mattress for those who want a bit more security because they underpay their sleep partners. So, the next time your banker offers you a financial instrument with a high rate of return tell him you will sleep on it.