Aranguez – May 2010
As hard as it is to believe, the following is based on actual events that took place in the former Democratic Country of Trinidad and Tobago over the last few days.
“Attack the press and the people with full force” shouted the Trinidad and Tobago Cabal (formerly known as the Government) as they saw the treasury and iPads slipping from their grips. It was just two years ago they hoodwinked the population into casting their votes for a dictatorship disguised as a democratic party and were hoping that the nation kept behaving like sheep and goats. But as good luck would have it, the plot to free their treasury-plundering leaders from a life in jail, without the benefit of any access to extra-slippery butt cream, was exposed by the soon-to-be-strangled press of the land.
This one cataclysmic event, along with the nightmares of deeds of the Last Party in Power, jolted the country out of slumber and the usual sheep and goat behavior of the nation was transformed almost overnight to the behavior of wolves. The Cabal, on seeing this transformation, grew angry and flew into a blinding rage because they knew that jail is no place for butt-hole party leaders. “How dare they expose us” shouted the King, and the Queen and the Chief Corrupt Lawyer of the Cabal. “Don’t they know who is boss.” So, both in fury and desperation, every woman and Jack in the cabal asked all their minions who were given, getting, or about to get party favors, to come out and support the Dictatorship at a free brain-numbing event to show the protesting nation how mindless mass support can make a hugely unforgivable wrong, alright.
Aranguez – May 2010
Despite previous public perception, I am the Attorney General who knows nutting about criminal law. Now under this maladministration we had a Minister of Justice who knew quite a bit about criminals so that is why the PM fire he ass. I see no reason to resign because I was so ignorant about criminal law it ain’t funny. I couldn’t even tell the difference between a purse snatcher and a white collar criminal. In fact, when Section 34 went before cabinet I fly away fast, fast because whether I was there or in Alaska, it wouldn’t ah make ah damn difference and I think the PM was fully cognisant of this. However it should be noted that only last night I ordered two books from Amazon Bargain Books section, Criminal Law for Dummies and The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Criminal Law. With this new found knowledge I will now be able to advise Cabinet properly and at a level they can understand. I am surprised people are calling for my head and I only assume it is because I have fat cheeks. And, no, stupidity is never a reason to be dismissed from cabinet because if that was the case the cabinet of this country will be nearly empty all the time.
Pronounce : O Pan Gang Nam Style
Translation : I (have my own style.. It’s) Gangnam style
Gangnam Style is a viral video turned viral dance and now officially the most popular YouTube video ever with over 294,763,576 views and climbing. Gangnam Style is sung by South Korean sensation and rapper, PSY. Gangnam Style is also currently #1 on iTunes and Amazon. South Korea, a peaceful and productive country with a hostile neighbor and 46% of the population having no religion, has now added PSY to the string of successes which include Samsung, Hyundai, LG, Kia and Seoul food.
“Gangnam” means “south(nam) of the river(gang)” in Korean. “Gangnam” is being regarded as the place where people are rich, girls are pretty and everything is supposed to be cool. ~www.urbandictionary.com
Original : 오빤 강남스타일
Pronounce : O Pan Gang Nam Style
Translation : I (have my own style.. It’s) Gangnam style
Pretty South Korean Girl – Gangnam Style
After your speech last night, I can say you are now in the same league as Patrick Manning – incompetent beyond words. It is either incompetent or part of the conspiracy plot but believe me, incompetent is the better choice.
It seems you were the last person in Trinidad and Tobago to realize that Mr. Hubert could not be trusted around the laws of the country. What does that say for your other choices of members of your cabinet? Is Mr. Hubert the only one who can not be trusted? Your judgment apparently leaves a lot to be desired and I now truly believe that we will have many more disgraceful and unpatriotic lies and schemes which you and your cabinet are planning to “unintentionally” unleash onto the public.
If there really was a new level of accountability from the Government when the People’s Partnership replaced the PNM you would have also fired Mr. Anand and throw in Jack for good measure simply because they were telling the population “move on, nothing to see here.” Really, nothing to see here! Maybe you should have also resigned in order to show the population what good governance really looks like. Your speech last night does not signal the end but the beginning of the end for your party. It’s so sad it had to come to this.
I never trust people’s assertions, I always judge of them by their actions ~ Ann Radcliffe
Despite countless wishes and prayers from Anand, Hubert and Jack the population will not be moving on from Section 34 simply because this trio are the ones who should be moving on. What these politicians don’t realize or what they fear is that Section 34 is like a ham bone, the more you boil it the better the soup taste.
The Section 34 Scandal has made it easy for a disillusioned population to come up with a plot for an international spy thriller where Mr. and Mr. Big paid a politician or group of politicians to ensure they (Mr. and Mr. Big) get away with the country’s money and possibly many other assorted criminal offenses in the future. What is now a thick plot in public’s mind is that this Government never intended to move the country forward but to help criminals get a better grip around the people’s necks and balls. And speaking of balls, if the Prime Minister doesn’t act with Partap haste on this matter then the population will understand why criminals are held in such high esteem by the Government and why we must be very afraid of every action by this ruling force.
I’m not upset that you lied to me, I’m upset that from now on I can’t believe you ~ Friedrich Nietzsche
It is rumored that self-proclaimed law experts, Anand and Hubert, will not be getting their complimentary iPads from Parliament as punishment for sneakily making a hole in a brand new law through which two of the country’s most popular accused criminals, Ish and Steve, had planned to escape. It is also rumored that Hubert has already protested this latest atrocity saying he will get a medical certificate stating his heart was set on an iPad 2 while Anand bawled out how he needed not one, but two tablets for his latest headache. If these rumors are true then the legal duo will have to continue to tote millions of dollars worth of paper in an out of Parliament while their colleagues pretend their tablets are on.
When the news to this latest Government-approved law hole was highlighted by the press, the public and Government officials feigned surprise and horror with some true supporters wondering why the Government was taking so long to pay their pipers.
Within a month or so my fellow citizens of Trinidad and Tobago will learn what economic austerity measures will be in store for them. Measures which may include things such as increases in the price of fuel, VAT, import duties, along with higher taxes on alcohol, cigarettes, iPads and incomes. All these measures will be unleashed onto the public coupled with retrenchment in the public service. Also, within the same time-frame, Parliamentarians will receive, at taxpayers’ expense, the iconic and expensive iPad tablets which can be used for storing Parliamentary documents and playing Angry Birds.
According to the Speaker of the House, The Honorable Wade Mark, he decided to issue the iPads to strengthen the 50-year-old nation’s democracy which has an unlimited supply of taxpayers dollars. I understand that Mr. Mark said the process of acquiring iPads will be as transparent, thus corruption free, as possible. But to start with, Mr. Mark said iPads and not tablets. Does technology-savvy Speaker of The House of Representative even know there are many excellent tablets out there that will serve the 71 Parliamentarians just as well as iPads but are cheaper? Mr. Mark was backed up by the President of the Senate, Mr. Timothy Hamel-Smith, who said that laptops hide the faces of members of Parliament but I fail to see how that is a bad thing. When Parliamentarians were provide with laptops did the powers that be say what brand of laptops they needed? The Speaker needs to come out and tell the public why he has this bias towards Apple Inc. It could well be Mr. Mark used the word iPad to mean a tablet with a Retina display and dual-core A5X processor just as some use the word Colgate to mean toothpaste, Nescafe to mean coffee and Durex to mean condom.
The world has gone global, competition is stiff and Samsung is great. I suggest if this Government and Speaker want to appear to be the pillar of honesty they must go out for an open public tender for tablets with suitable functional specifications and not simply go out to tender for the prestigious iPad. Failing to do so will introduce the smell of bias and favoritism on the doors of Parliament and our Democracy proving once again to citizens that this Government is not as honest as previously advertised.
Sadly, I didn’t know who Sherlyn Chopra was until I read in the August 13th issue of Newsweek that she will be “the first Indian woman to be photographed unclothed for Playboy magazine.” Being a man, I understand the term “unclothed in Playboy” to mean tastefully nude as compared to vulgarly naked but what is one man’s tastefulness is another woman’s vulgarity.
Sherlyn Chopra was originally known as Mona Chopra and is, according to Wikipedia, a model, singer and actress and possibly also a Bollywood sensation. With the aid of Google I discovered that Sherlyn Chopra is an amazingly beautiful and sexy woman thus I see nothing wrong with her wanting to share nearly all her beauty with the world. I wish her all the best in her efforts to make it big in the very competitive world of the-cat-will-eat-all-dog world of female celebrities. Sherlyn might be criticized by the usual self-proclaimed moral ones but she is actually beating the path to worldwide popularity for many more Bollywood actresses to actually shine internationally rather than to imply they shine.
Playboy is in the business of male happiness and they have been making every effort to give men something different to be happy about every month. I believe Playboy Magazine also carries articles written by famous authors to give observers the impression that men can read picture books. Playboy Magazine was developed by a brilliant team of male scientists who figured out that men have a thing for nude women and a bigger thing for naked ones.
In the world of female celebrities exposure is everything and the more that is exposed the better. Sherlyn will appear and be exposed in the November 2012 issue of Playboy which will be a memorable one as it will be saved both on ruggedized memory sticks and under mattresses by the millions of real men of this world.