Healdine Abuse, Sorry to Say


Trinidad Express

Trinidad Express

With all that is going on the political arena in Trinidad and Tobago, the Trinidad Express took the time to use its precious mind-swaying front-page to highlight a suspected personality flaw in the country’s top, home-grown, international Soca superstar, Machel Montano. Maybe it was because his alleged bad attitude took place at a town school fete is the reason it was given grossly exaggerated importance or some other ulterior or political motive – I don’t know.  I doubt the newspaper is being paid off by some Big Men with shares and money to distract the public from the real issues that are, and have always been plaguing the nation for some time – greed, dishonesty and wife-beating abilities of our elected and selected politicians. Maybe the newspaper is trying to tell the public that the thing we saw around the dark clouds was not a silver lining but the main ingredient in an orange juice shipment.

When I read the headline article I was sadly disappointed and enraged that the sound system was not up to professional standards. Also, that the reaction by the superstar, which seems to be a rejection of sloppiness, should now engage and enrage the normally weak minds of editors, journalists and other rum-oriented citizens via the front-page is unfortunate and even tragic. That Mr. Montano might be throwing temper tantrums all over the place for some very good reasons and a couple bad ones is not new, news or close to headline news. However, the discovery of a decomposing body which might be that of the missing Caribbean Airlines director is depressing and frightful thus should be fitting as a the main headline and a lifesaver given the need to alert unsuspecting visitors merrily flocking our shores for Carnival.

We are a country whose minds are shaped by our manipulative headlines and the chronic ignorance and bias of participants of talk shows rather than our ability to analyze anything beyond the superficial and emotional surface. If citizens of the land of the Humming Bird, corbeau and rotting corpses could see beyond their biases, hate and fear we would not have elected Team Manning and certainly not even give birth to, much less voted for Team Kamla and her band of smart men and thieves.

Don’t Stop The Party


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Prominent Trinidad and Tobago attorney and Senior Council Dana Seetahal was murdered in Woodbrook, Trinidad and Tobago on May 14th 2014. A gunman pumped five bullets into her while she was on her way home and since that time Trinidad and Tobago’s finest have been investigating and beating man on wheelchair. No one, as far as the public knows, have been arrested for the murder and no motive for the crime was ever suggested by the police. However, criminologists have suggested the wheelchair beating was caused by a collective momentary dip in IQ of the officers involved while others have been wondering what IQ. Nevertheless, without the help of the police, the public has a fodder of theories as to why Dana Seetahal was murdered but the only thing we know for sure are those Big Men of Crime in the country can get away with anything. Don’t stop the Party.

A Google search for Trinidad Orange Juice cocaine will have in the top five listing at least one article where we are reminded that on December 2013 around $US 100 million of one of our local favorites was discovered stuffed into Trinidad Orange Juice cans and seized by US authorities. The public instinctively felt this case would go cold as it surely must have involved the Big Men of Crime in the country. Don’t stop the Party.

I wonder if our current Minister of National Security can assure the public, with action rather than words or emotion, that the Big Men of Crime in this country are being actively dealt with. The public of Trinidad and Tobago has always felt that Big Men and Big Politicians are one and the same so there never will be any motivation for any investigation much less arrest.

We all know it doesn’t matter who is elected into power as Big money speaks louder than little integrity. Who can stop that Party?

No Bullies, No Corruption, No Anil


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I have no idea if the pro-corruption Life Sport programme will be another straw which will break the Partnership’s back again  but certainly the retention of Anil Roberts will. His supporters say that Anil “does give it to them good” but it seems he cannot take it despite his claims of having a very broad, swimmers back. That is how it is with bullies.

Unfortunately the only things Anil ever brought to this country as a politician was his over inflated ego, delusion of grandeur, bullyism and an oversize mouth. The Prime Minister terminated the Life Sports programme, which came under Mr. Roberts, because the audit report said there were more than several instances of suspected massive corruption. Under the Life Sport programme there were a few hundred million dollars earmarked to keep young teens away from gangs,  crime and political life. Instead the audit report suggests much of this money went into the pockets of the chosen few who, like many before them, craved plundering the Treasury.

Anil Roberts said the termination of the programme will cause poor black boys to suffer but was silent on whether his legendary incompetence as a Minister of Sports made poor black boys happy. This is a disgraceful  national fiasco so why is Anil Roberts thinking twice about resigning but more importantly, why is the Prime Minister afraid to fire him. Fear is weakness.

Trinidad and Tobago – Your Stones Will Be Unturned, Again


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THIS NEVER HAPPENED

In what can only be described as uncharacteristic brilliance after a national tragedy, our local police made a prompt arrest of a group of suspected hit men, seized their high tech weapons and two bags of doubles within minutes after the group allegedly carried out a daring assassination of an well-known state prosecutor just after 12:00 am last night. The police was able to make this arrest and interception  because of the multitude of working and expensive CCTV cameras along the route were actually working and being monitored for a change. These phenomenally expensive high tech cameras were purchased using taxpayer’s money and installed by the usual high-priced government approved contractors, and monitored by an unknown, but strangely intelligent state agency that were not using the cameras to monitor girls with short dresses and low tops on the Avenue.

When the Ag. CoP was asked to comment he repeatedly said in a comforting manner “Not all murders are hits and but all hits are murders.” However, the Minister of National Security was relieved that something finally went right after a murder. When asked to comment on the National Security breakthrough the Minister blushed uncontrollably, yet sadly, and said the Prime Minister was planning to once again have every stone unturned. He said the PM was ready to offer a reward, which was less than the lotto, for vital information on the assassination, to anyone who craved sudden death via bullets from high-power rifles at close range. The Minister admitted, though he was the God of National Security,  had no clue if the reward would have been tax exempt, delivered via an anonymous wheelbarrow or could be used in the afterlife. 

As for the motive for the gruesome murder, the Minister said they (the hit men) thought we were stupid and wanted to make us look bad internationally. When asked if the hit was an attempt to destabilize the country he said no, as the country was already mentally unstable long before this.  

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Drones to fight Crime in Trinidad and Tobago


droneThe Government is planning to use mini-drone choppers in its latest attempt loose the fight against crime but win another term in office. The mini-drones will be outfitted with the latest spy equipment that can see through heavily draped windows and women, closed and bolted doors, hollow clay and concrete blocks plastered on both sides as well as politicians regardless of party. Apart from the latest spy equipment with current firmware, the drones will come with the usual annihilation equipment and MP3 players with ear buds. It is said that the drones will be controlled by an independent committee made up of ten citizens chosen by another independent committee selected by the President after consultation with the Prime Minister and  God. The Committee will be chosen from a wide cross section of the population and will include no more than one doubles vendor, one community leader and one atheist.  A two thirds majority – 6.667 people – will be required to activate the annihilation equipment where the target looks funny or is a gold-color Nissan. The drones will be capable of streaming live video via the social media and have its own Facebook page.

The Committee, like some politicians, church builders building churches from kick-back money, former head of State agencies and billionaire crooks, will be exempted from prosecution for any crime committed thus the Drone Committee will not have to worry about taking out the wrong man or car. Crime is expected to take a nose dive once the drones take to the air and start buzzing over crime hotspots and political meetings held behind closed doors. As is customary in this country, a kick-back will be paid to the politician or politicians who put the things in place for this latest crime fighting initiative to happen. As is also customary, offshore bank accounts will be set up as necessary.

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Colour Me Bloody Orange


The Government’s newly launched Colour Me Orange crime and poverty reduction project has a good chance of turning into something called Colour Me Bloody Orange crime escalation and poverty reduction by forced population elimination scheme as there is now every indication this has the makings of a war – first the big stones in the car park then the guns in the streets. What might appear to be a simple weeding job to the casual observer may end up being a weeding out exercise, with the principle being dead men don’t work, though some do get paid. It is true the PP Government is trying to reduce the amount of gold chain snatching and muggings taking place for the season of good will and joy but Colour Me Orange seems like throwing gasoline in the fire where crime is concerned.

The Opposition’s greatest fear is the Project will buy the Government support while that is the Government’s greatest wish. I suppose Government’s policy is to manage gangs rather than eliminate the need for them. Maybe Government has seen the benefits of being in a gang and want to become the leader of the Orange gang, the most feared and ruthless gang since the last Government gang. But every cloud has a silver lining so I decided, in the interest of my economy, to become a community leader and will be accepting members into my gang. All members must be willing to fear me while looking menacing to the general public. Once we, the aka_lol Gang, are deemed to be both a threat to national security and a lost cause we too will qualify for some Orange. it is either that or we continue to perish in traffic and continue our careers as lowly, unappreciated, completely-ignored -until-we-miss-a-tax-payment taxpayers.

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man ~ Mark Twain

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Bandits Shout Duck before Crying Foul


The Bandits Association of Trinidad and Tobago (BanATT) was catapulted into mourning and anger yesterday when they learnt the Police took down three of their members. One member of the association who was both not authorized to speak to the media and on the run from Police for some time, lamented how the Bandits were only trying to make the usual dishonest dollar. He said first it was the curfew, and now they have Police Officers that could shoot reasonably straight even in a crisis at 2:00 am. The unofficial spokesperson for BanATT said that the Police officers were equipped with bullet-proof vest, well maintained guns and a regular pay check while the bandits were simply armed with three or four guns, which could effectively kill a  few unarmed, law-abiding citizens during a daily robbery but the weapons seem of little use in shootouts with the Police. He lamented this disadvantage and hoped to invest some of the money he will soon get from his new government handout, disguised as a job, in better tools for bandits. The spokesperson said their Association may take the case to the Equal Opportunity Commission as Police seem to be preventing Bandits from carrying out their trade while allowing the law-abiding to make an honest dollar. He stressed the Association has nothing against people making an honest dollar since it was the honest dollar from the man in the street that  keeps their members happy and well fed. A similar sentiment was also expressed by CL Financial investors.

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