Healdine Abuse, Sorry to Say


Trinidad Express

Trinidad Express

With all that is going on the political arena in Trinidad and Tobago, the Trinidad Express took the time to use its precious mind-swaying front-page to highlight a suspected personality flaw in the country’s top, home-grown, international Soca superstar, Machel Montano. Maybe it was because his alleged bad attitude took place at a town school fete is the reason it was given grossly exaggerated importance or some other ulterior or political motive – I don’t know.  I doubt the newspaper is being paid off by some Big Men with shares and money to distract the public from the real issues that are, and have always been plaguing the nation for some time – greed, dishonesty and wife-beating abilities of our elected and selected politicians. Maybe the newspaper is trying to tell the public that the thing we saw around the dark clouds was not a silver lining but the main ingredient in an orange juice shipment.

When I read the headline article I was sadly disappointed and enraged that the sound system was not up to professional standards. Also, that the reaction by the superstar, which seems to be a rejection of sloppiness, should now engage and enrage the normally weak minds of editors, journalists and other rum-oriented citizens via the front-page is unfortunate and even tragic. That Mr. Montano might be throwing temper tantrums all over the place for some very good reasons and a couple bad ones is not new, news or close to headline news. However, the discovery of a decomposing body which might be that of the missing Caribbean Airlines director is depressing and frightful thus should be fitting as a the main headline and a lifesaver given the need to alert unsuspecting visitors merrily flocking our shores for Carnival.

We are a country whose minds are shaped by our manipulative headlines and the chronic ignorance and bias of participants of talk shows rather than our ability to analyze anything beyond the superficial and emotional surface. If citizens of the land of the Humming Bird, corbeau and rotting corpses could see beyond their biases, hate and fear we would not have elected Team Manning and certainly not even give birth to, much less voted for Team Kamla and her band of smart men and thieves.

Don’t Stop The Party


keep-calm-and-don-t-stop-the-party-13

Prominent Trinidad and Tobago attorney and Senior Council Dana Seetahal was murdered in Woodbrook, Trinidad and Tobago on May 14th 2014. A gunman pumped five bullets into her while she was on her way home and since that time Trinidad and Tobago’s finest have been investigating and beating man on wheelchair. No one, as far as the public knows, have been arrested for the murder and no motive for the crime was ever suggested by the police. However, criminologists have suggested the wheelchair beating was caused by a collective momentary dip in IQ of the officers involved while others have been wondering what IQ. Nevertheless, without the help of the police, the public has a fodder of theories as to why Dana Seetahal was murdered but the only thing we know for sure are those Big Men of Crime in the country can get away with anything. Don’t stop the Party.

A Google search for Trinidad Orange Juice cocaine will have in the top five listing at least one article where we are reminded that on December 2013 around $US 100 million of one of our local favorites was discovered stuffed into Trinidad Orange Juice cans and seized by US authorities. The public instinctively felt this case would go cold as it surely must have involved the Big Men of Crime in the country. Don’t stop the Party.

I wonder if our current Minister of National Security can assure the public, with action rather than words or emotion, that the Big Men of Crime in this country are being actively dealt with. The public of Trinidad and Tobago has always felt that Big Men and Big Politicians are one and the same so there never will be any motivation for any investigation much less arrest.

We all know it doesn’t matter who is elected into power as Big money speaks louder than little integrity. Who can stop that Party?

No Bullies, No Corruption, No Anil


stop-bullying-cartoon3-598x644

I have no idea if the pro-corruption Life Sport programme will be another straw which will break the Partnership’s back again  but certainly the retention of Anil Roberts will. His supporters say that Anil “does give it to them good” but it seems he cannot take it despite his claims of having a very broad, swimmers back. That is how it is with bullies.

Unfortunately the only things Anil ever brought to this country as a politician was his over inflated ego, delusion of grandeur, bullyism and an oversize mouth. The Prime Minister terminated the Life Sports programme, which came under Mr. Roberts, because the audit report said there were more than several instances of suspected massive corruption. Under the Life Sport programme there were a few hundred million dollars earmarked to keep young teens away from gangs,  crime and political life. Instead the audit report suggests much of this money went into the pockets of the chosen few who, like many before them, craved plundering the Treasury.

Anil Roberts said the termination of the programme will cause poor black boys to suffer but was silent on whether his legendary incompetence as a Minister of Sports made poor black boys happy. This is a disgraceful  national fiasco so why is Anil Roberts thinking twice about resigning but more importantly, why is the Prime Minister afraid to fire him. Fear is weakness.

Trinidad and Tobago – Your Stones Will Be Unturned, Again


cops

THIS NEVER HAPPENED

In what can only be described as uncharacteristic brilliance after a national tragedy, our local police made a prompt arrest of a group of suspected hit men, seized their high tech weapons and two bags of doubles within minutes after the group allegedly carried out a daring assassination of an well-known state prosecutor just after 12:00 am last night. The police was able to make this arrest and interception  because of the multitude of working and expensive CCTV cameras along the route were actually working and being monitored for a change. These phenomenally expensive high tech cameras were purchased using taxpayer’s money and installed by the usual high-priced government approved contractors, and monitored by an unknown, but strangely intelligent state agency that were not using the cameras to monitor girls with short dresses and low tops on the Avenue.

When the Ag. CoP was asked to comment he repeatedly said in a comforting manner “Not all murders are hits and but all hits are murders.” However, the Minister of National Security was relieved that something finally went right after a murder. When asked to comment on the National Security breakthrough the Minister blushed uncontrollably, yet sadly, and said the Prime Minister was planning to once again have every stone unturned. He said the PM was ready to offer a reward, which was less than the lotto, for vital information on the assassination, to anyone who craved sudden death via bullets from high-power rifles at close range. The Minister admitted, though he was the God of National Security,  had no clue if the reward would have been tax exempt, delivered via an anonymous wheelbarrow or could be used in the afterlife. 

As for the motive for the gruesome murder, the Minister said they (the hit men) thought we were stupid and wanted to make us look bad internationally. When asked if the hit was an attempt to destabilize the country he said no, as the country was already mentally unstable long before this.  

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Drones to fight Crime in Trinidad and Tobago


droneThe Government is planning to use mini-drone choppers in its latest attempt loose the fight against crime but win another term in office. The mini-drones will be outfitted with the latest spy equipment that can see through heavily draped windows and women, closed and bolted doors, hollow clay and concrete blocks plastered on both sides as well as politicians regardless of party. Apart from the latest spy equipment with current firmware, the drones will come with the usual annihilation equipment and MP3 players with ear buds. It is said that the drones will be controlled by an independent committee made up of ten citizens chosen by another independent committee selected by the President after consultation with the Prime Minister and  God. The Committee will be chosen from a wide cross section of the population and will include no more than one doubles vendor, one community leader and one atheist.  A two thirds majority – 6.667 people – will be required to activate the annihilation equipment where the target looks funny or is a gold-color Nissan. The drones will be capable of streaming live video via the social media and have its own Facebook page.

The Committee, like some politicians, church builders building churches from kick-back money, former head of State agencies and billionaire crooks, will be exempted from prosecution for any crime committed thus the Drone Committee will not have to worry about taking out the wrong man or car. Crime is expected to take a nose dive once the drones take to the air and start buzzing over crime hotspots and political meetings held behind closed doors. As is customary in this country, a kick-back will be paid to the politician or politicians who put the things in place for this latest crime fighting initiative to happen. As is also customary, offshore bank accounts will be set up as necessary.

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Colour Me Bloody Orange


The Government’s newly launched Colour Me Orange crime and poverty reduction project has a good chance of turning into something called Colour Me Bloody Orange crime escalation and poverty reduction by forced population elimination scheme as there is now every indication this has the makings of a war – first the big stones in the car park then the guns in the streets. What might appear to be a simple weeding job to the casual observer may end up being a weeding out exercise, with the principle being dead men don’t work, though some do get paid. It is true the PP Government is trying to reduce the amount of gold chain snatching and muggings taking place for the season of good will and joy but Colour Me Orange seems like throwing gasoline in the fire where crime is concerned.

The Opposition’s greatest fear is the Project will buy the Government support while that is the Government’s greatest wish. I suppose Government’s policy is to manage gangs rather than eliminate the need for them. Maybe Government has seen the benefits of being in a gang and want to become the leader of the Orange gang, the most feared and ruthless gang since the last Government gang. But every cloud has a silver lining so I decided, in the interest of my economy, to become a community leader and will be accepting members into my gang. All members must be willing to fear me while looking menacing to the general public. Once we, the aka_lol Gang, are deemed to be both a threat to national security and a lost cause we too will qualify for some Orange. it is either that or we continue to perish in traffic and continue our careers as lowly, unappreciated, completely-ignored -until-we-miss-a-tax-payment taxpayers.

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man ~ Mark Twain

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Bandits Shout Duck before Crying Foul


The Bandits Association of Trinidad and Tobago (BanATT) was catapulted into mourning and anger yesterday when they learnt the Police took down three of their members. One member of the association who was both not authorized to speak to the media and on the run from Police for some time, lamented how the Bandits were only trying to make the usual dishonest dollar. He said first it was the curfew, and now they have Police Officers that could shoot reasonably straight even in a crisis at 2:00 am. The unofficial spokesperson for BanATT said that the Police officers were equipped with bullet-proof vest, well maintained guns and a regular pay check while the bandits were simply armed with three or four guns, which could effectively kill a  few unarmed, law-abiding citizens during a daily robbery but the weapons seem of little use in shootouts with the Police. He lamented this disadvantage and hoped to invest some of the money he will soon get from his new government handout, disguised as a job, in better tools for bandits. The spokesperson said their Association may take the case to the Equal Opportunity Commission as Police seem to be preventing Bandits from carrying out their trade while allowing the law-abiding to make an honest dollar. He stressed the Association has nothing against people making an honest dollar since it was the honest dollar from the man in the street that  keeps their members happy and well fed. A similar sentiment was also expressed by CL Financial investors.

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Avocado Thief – A New Trend


Avocado Thief trending - 2011-10-22

Avocado Thief trending - 2011-10-22

I thought I was seeing things but I was not. Trending yesterday on Yahoo! USA was Avocado Thief. Yep, Avocado Thief. At first I thought a local news story went viral – the news story about our local zaboca farmer, fed up of thieves, who claimed to have intentionally poisoned over 200 zabocas which were stolen and supposedly made its way to the markets – but it was not. It was, according to the Los Angeles Times, a story about “An admitted avocado thief in north San Diego County has been ordered to stay away from any groves bearing the popular fruit and prohibited from possessing more than 10 avocados at a time.”

What-ah-thing, I thought. Avocados, a.k.a Zabocas, seem to be the new gold of the North-western Hemisphere. Soon people will no longer hold up banks because banks tend to get very unstable due to internal greed. Robbers will soon storm zaboca estates while brandishing machine guns and 40-foot refrigerated containers. It will only be a matter of time before cargo trains and ships carrying tons of zabocas are hijacked by ruthless zaboca gangs. Cars with zabocas in the back seat or trunks will be broken into and the zabocas carted away. Laptops and iPads will be safe. Shortly there will emerge a Zaboca Godfather and a bloody zaboca turf war will give the law enforcers a new nightmare. Zaboca insurance will rise to unheard of and obscene levels. I cringe at the thought since me and my tree will no doubt be included in that turf and both will become unisurable.

Maybe our local judiciary will follow the American judge but I suggest 4 instead of 10 zabocas. I want to also recommend police conduct roadblocks and interrogate anyone who is found with 4 or more zabocas in their possession. The State of Emergency should be used to make a dent in the lucrative zaboca stealing cartel. Nip it in the bud, I say. If Kamla, Jack, Anand, Prakash, and Hubert really care about the people they should spare no effort in making the owning of a zaboca tree a source of pride and not like many Government projects, a source of income for thieves.

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Mr. Big Hatches a Plan


The Original Mr. Big

Sources close to both the Government and Mr. Big told Big the State of Emergency (SOE) would only be lifted after a certain amount of guns and ammo was recovered. So Big hatched a plan and ordered his minions to disperse some old crocus bags filled with assorted illegal drugs and old guns through the country and inform the Big TV man where he could find these stashes. Big told his people to stagger the information so everything wouldn’t be found the same day thus making it look like real reality TV. He warned his people to tell only TV Big and not the police as the corrupt elements in the Force would gobble up the stashes like rats in a police station.

After the first find was shown on TV with amateur Blair Witch drama, Big wondered why they didn’t come in daylight. Maybe it would be better for TV ratings if they came at night, he thought. One caller to the program asked TV Big why they didn’t stakeout the site to see who was collecting the stash, to which TV Big replied in true political style “Timing is everything. Next Caller!”

Big knew he had nothing to worry about with the SOE as the country was a jokey country run by jokers and letters to the editor. One thing that had Big very amused was when he read how the President decided to take that much-needed vacation while the country was on a heightened security alert. That was like parents going on vacation just after admitting their child to hospital with dengue hemorrhagic. Big was even more amused when he heard the media reporting that the police was now acting on intelligence. It was the first time he ever heard the words police and intelligence used in the same sentence in the country. Big had to admit the police seem revitalized by the SOE especially the popular rouge-element that seem to be enjoying their new-found powers to beat man left, right, and centre. Big wasn’t worried about the alleged intelligence of the police as he knew people couldn’t get bright overnight, even in Trinidad and Tobago.

Naturally, with the country locked down, his business would slip a bit but where there is a demand, there will be a supply. His customers need him and he will not let them down. Big had big plans for the country.

Some Mr. Big is Sending Messages


Giant Kim, awake and hungry

Police suspect that the hundreds of gallons of diesel spilled on the highway last Saturday was deliberate. Also, nobody is saying anything about the cause of a ruptured natural gas line off  Point Galeota, which happened over the weekend. I think these two incidents are connected and for these reasons I can’t help but feel something sinister is brewing in this country which might be the real reason for the State of Emergency. It might be organized crime  run by Mr. Big and Co, Ltd. at work, but it might even be something more menacing trying to regain control of the country.

The plus side of extending the SOE and increasing the number of  hot spots by eleven is that the criminal element will be even more dormant. But dormant means asleep and like all hibernating evil  creatures, once awake will be hungry like a starving giant.

Fee-fi-fo-fum!

Look out T and T

Get ready to run!

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Trinidad and Tobago State of Emergency and the Zaboca Thief


Trinidad and Tobago zaboca ready for teifing

The State of Emergency has a long way to go as the police in my area seem to be arresting people in alphabetical order of the crime committed and I reported a zaboca thief.

I confronted the neighborhood fruit and zaboca thief in my yard only last Thursday and explained to him the State of Emergency and how police was rounding up everybody who in even small ways was a menace to society. The zaboca thief became quiet, and I could tell he was going through some deep introspection.

“So, for two zaboca dey go haul mih ass in jail?” The zaboca thief asked.

“Yes” I promptly replied “Even if dey don’t find the zaboca in yuh possession dey go haul yuh ass in jail and in Toruba too.”

“The incomplete, cracking up stadium dat draining the treasury and so much people get rich off and people still getting rich off ah?”

“Yes, that stadium.”

“Dey arresting de Stadium teif an dem too?”

“No, dem is bigger fish yuh see and de State of Emergency is only for big fish.”

“So wuh is dis thing about de Hyatt?”

“Dat is only for gang leaders who want to hide out with call girls and cell phones, not the arrested.”

“Oh hoe!”

Suddenly, he said he had to leave, mumbling something about no family down South.

“Wey yuh going?”  I shouted as he skipped over the chain-linked fence and into the road with enviable ease and rod in hand.

With his back turned, he waved his hand and mumbled something about how he was late for an appointment in a nearby street. I started to wonder what the zaboca thief would do for a living now since the Government was bringing part of the national underground economy to a screeching halt, just like the official one.

Zaboca

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John Lennon and the Port of Spain Connection


Port of Spain was one of the eleven cities that was named by John Lennon and Yoko Ono in their 1969 antiwar drive called “The War is Over.” Their friend in Trinidad and Tobago was the infamous Michael X aka Michael Abdul Malik aka Abdul Malik. The song Happy Xmas (War Is Over) was written by John Lennon in 1971 and has become a Christmas classic. If you want to see the harsh realities of war done to the music of John Lennon click here (embedding disabled by request).

According to Wikipedia  “Following the impact of “Give Peace a Chance” and “Happy Xmas (War is Over)“, both strongly associated with the anti-Vietnam-War movement, the Nixon administration, hearing rumours of Lennon’s involvement in a concert to be held in San Diego at the same time as the Republican National Convention, tried to have him deported. Nixon believed that Lennon’s anti-war activities could cost him his re-election; Republican Senator Strom Thurmond suggested in a February 1972 memo that “deportation would be a strategic counter-measure” against Lennon.” Some of the intrigue concerning this fear of Lennon by the US Government can be seen in the 2006  documentary The U.S. vs. John Lennon. For some intrigue into Michael Abdul Malick see the movie The Bank Job.


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Trinidad Newsday Steals a Photo?


Trinidad Newsday, in the Business section today, used a photo from mayarobeach.com without the permission of the owner – me. The unauthorized use of photos is now a  common method of law breaking used by thieves, bloggers, and unscrupulous newspaper editors in the modern world. This unlawful use of the photo might not have been a problem if it wasn’t used in an article discussing the Intellectual Property Rights of local farmers. I am not going to use this blog post to ridicule and embarrass a local daily newspaper that already has been ridiculed and humiliated for firing one of the country’s top columnist for being ethical. I am simply going to state in this blog post how flattered I am that one of my photos was used again with the mayarobeach.com watermark cropped out almost as if it was done by a common thief who is accustomed to hiding the evidence.

I am not complaining as much as I am having fun with the cropping people at Newsday. Maybe it’s not Newsday’s fault as they may have contracted out the Business Newsday service to the lowest bidder rather than the most moral one. Maybe the people at Newsday need to remember that you always get less than what you pay for.

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The Strong Leader of Trinidad and Tobago


A strong leader must be able to speak with certainty to supporters about who to hate and how much. A strong leader must be able to use one hand to distract his audience with a fake diamond watch made in China using child labor while sticking his other hand in the Treasury to buy his woman or women anything they care to worship. A strong leader approves of early withdrawals and gang leaders. Strong leaders use public funds to host useless Summits and build useless cloud-scrapers and stadiums while the sick gets sicker and the roads turn to parking lots supervised by a man short on brains. A strong leader must always appear to his groupies as if he is in a rum shop and wants to break a bar stool on the head of anybody who is getting close to his hidden truth and palace. Strong leaders do not eat chicken or drink but they do womanize God-approved women. Strong leaders are always feared and never respected. Strong leaders must raise their voices at public meetings and bring in supporters by the bus loads to give the impression people give a damn about what they say. Real and strong leaders defend in public and privately those criminals who are part of strong-leader-approved criminal activities. Strong leaders have sleepless nights worrying about the cost of drapes in their future prison cell and if they offer ballroom dancing classes to strong leaders who find their rightful place in prison.

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For the new CEO of WASA


The Trinidad Guardian's reporters caught WASA doing the unspeakable during the worse drought the country has ever seen – Heads should roll and end up in jail.

WASA is an organization that lacks the technical competence the country needs for development and has no moral authority to finger the public as criminals when it is WASA’s officials, who should, for the very least, end up in jail for filling up the incoming CEO’s swimming pool with scarce water.

The incoming, foreign CEO of WASA should demand to live in a house with a swimming pool where his wife cannot be photographed by Guardian reporters in her swimsuit or bikini. The CEO of WASA should live in rural South Trinidad so that he, or possibly, she would understand what lack of service to customers mean and how to bathe with half a bucket of water. He should take a drive along Gordon, Ragbir, and Warner Streets in St. Augustine and also El Dorado Road and the Main Road near Curepe Junction to see the amount of water leaks that have existed for weeks and months without even the slightest bit of attention being paid to them by WASA during this period of severe drought. The CEO should then find the rum shop the leak inspectors hang out in during working hours and sit down and get drunk.  He should also investigate why contractors have to be sent three and four times in one month to have the same leak repaired – they are probably being paid per visit that is why. He should find out if there is any collusion between WASA pump employees and leak contractors to jack up water pressures just to burst pipes and milk the country dry.

The new CEO will probably not be successful since dedication to work is not the culture of most of the remaining WASA employees. He will discover many talkers and very little doers. The new, foreign CEO of WASA will probably end up like most expats in the country and party with young and pretty local girls till dawn. If WASA has a clear vision for the organization and its employees have a sense of how important the organization is to the country, the public would be surprised since almost none of their actions to date suggest that. WASA is an organization which runs on PR and not performance.  From what the public is hearing when they try to get water from their taps, WASA is only concerned about getting money from consumers and the Government to feed smart-men contractors who only appear to do something while actually doing nothing over and over.

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Trinidad and Tobago – A Nation Conveniently In Crisis?


The Chinese say out of crisis comes opportunity and that is why Trinidad and Tobago is the land of opportunistic people, not only the Chinese. Last week the Prime Minister said no more fetes in national sporting complexes probably because  of the high cost of  repairing The National Flagpole but the very next day Ministers were meeting to solve the perennial problem of nowhere to wine.

But a crisis isn’t always created for the opportunity to look good but sometimes to create the opportunity to fast track a tender award to those contractors who can charge several flagpoles more just by saying yes they can deliver in Chinese time. Even if the taxpayers will have to borrow to finance these fast tracked schemes, it will happen.  The reason for cost overruns in many Government contracts might be due to a change in design by mysterious forces and soil, resulting in a nice crisis midway through the project giving the contractor the opportunity to buy those two extra S-Class Mercedes along with that high-rise apartment his girlfriend always demanded for her sex-tape grade services. Only with this well planned, sudden design change will Mr. Contractor be able to spring for that industrial grade 10-speed blender his wife had her eye on for years. The opportunities taxpayers subsidize.

The traffic “crisis” is another opportunity to give those “fast” contractors the chance to overbid just to help the population, waiting in traffic, to get from A to B without using a shoulder.  The crime “crisis” can, or has provided “security supply companies” with the opportunity to deliver crime suppression supplies urgently at top dollar so the public and select suppliers would be impressed how serious the authorities are about alleviating their suffering. Besides, the crime “crisis” now employs both non-criminals and criminals thus making crime more organized and an all encompassing industry. The health care system will continue to fall apart once there is money to be made from people, who have no private practice or Government contracts, suffering in hospital corridors. The urgent need to impress foreign “leaders” is now causing the fast tracking of many things cultural including the cutting of the bush along the highway. The next new “crisis” will be water as the population is running out of tires and foam mattresses to drag and burn.

Out of crisis comes opportunity and if done properly, there will be no Commission of Enquiry.