Drones to fight Crime in Trinidad and Tobago


droneThe Government is planning to use mini-drone choppers in its latest attempt loose the fight against crime but win another term in office. The mini-drones will be outfitted with the latest spy equipment that can see through heavily draped windows and women, closed and bolted doors, hollow clay and concrete blocks plastered on both sides as well as politicians regardless of party. Apart from the latest spy equipment with current firmware, the drones will come with the usual annihilation equipment and MP3 players with ear buds. It is said that the drones will be controlled by an independent committee made up of ten citizens chosen by another independent committee selected by the President after consultation with the Prime Minister and  God. The Committee will be chosen from a wide cross section of the population and will include no more than one doubles vendor, one community leader and one atheist.  A two thirds majority – 6.667 people – will be required to activate the annihilation equipment where the target looks funny or is a gold-color Nissan. The drones will be capable of streaming live video via the social media and have its own Facebook page.

The Committee, like some politicians, church builders building churches from kick-back money, former head of State agencies and billionaire crooks, will be exempted from prosecution for any crime committed thus the Drone Committee will not have to worry about taking out the wrong man or car. Crime is expected to take a nose dive once the drones take to the air and start buzzing over crime hotspots and political meetings held behind closed doors. As is customary in this country, a kick-back will be paid to the politician or politicians who put the things in place for this latest crime fighting initiative to happen. As is also customary, offshore bank accounts will be set up as necessary.

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Colour Me Bloody Orange


The Government’s newly launched Colour Me Orange crime and poverty reduction project has a good chance of turning into something called Colour Me Bloody Orange crime escalation and poverty reduction by forced population elimination scheme as there is now every indication this has the makings of a war – first the big stones in the car park then the guns in the streets. What might appear to be a simple weeding job to the casual observer may end up being a weeding out exercise, with the principle being dead men don’t work, though some do get paid. It is true the PP Government is trying to reduce the amount of gold chain snatching and muggings taking place for the season of good will and joy but Colour Me Orange seems like throwing gasoline in the fire where crime is concerned.

The Opposition’s greatest fear is the Project will buy the Government support while that is the Government’s greatest wish. I suppose Government’s policy is to manage gangs rather than eliminate the need for them. Maybe Government has seen the benefits of being in a gang and want to become the leader of the Orange gang, the most feared and ruthless gang since the last Government gang. But every cloud has a silver lining so I decided, in the interest of my economy, to become a community leader and will be accepting members into my gang. All members must be willing to fear me while looking menacing to the general public. Once we, the aka_lol Gang, are deemed to be both a threat to national security and a lost cause we too will qualify for some Orange. it is either that or we continue to perish in traffic and continue our careers as lowly, unappreciated, completely-ignored -until-we-miss-a-tax-payment taxpayers.

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man ~ Mark Twain

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Bandits Shout Duck before Crying Foul


The Bandits Association of Trinidad and Tobago (BanATT) was catapulted into mourning and anger yesterday when they learnt the Police took down three of their members. One member of the association who was both not authorized to speak to the media and on the run from Police for some time, lamented how the Bandits were only trying to make the usual dishonest dollar. He said first it was the curfew, and now they have Police Officers that could shoot reasonably straight even in a crisis at 2:00 am. The unofficial spokesperson for BanATT said that the Police officers were equipped with bullet-proof vest, well maintained guns and a regular pay check while the bandits were simply armed with three or four guns, which could effectively kill a  few unarmed, law-abiding citizens during a daily robbery but the weapons seem of little use in shootouts with the Police. He lamented this disadvantage and hoped to invest some of the money he will soon get from his new government handout, disguised as a job, in better tools for bandits. The spokesperson said their Association may take the case to the Equal Opportunity Commission as Police seem to be preventing Bandits from carrying out their trade while allowing the law-abiding to make an honest dollar. He stressed the Association has nothing against people making an honest dollar since it was the honest dollar from the man in the street that  keeps their members happy and well fed. A similar sentiment was also expressed by CL Financial investors.

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Avocado Thief – A New Trend


Avocado Thief trending - 2011-10-22

Avocado Thief trending - 2011-10-22

I thought I was seeing things but I was not. Trending yesterday on Yahoo! USA was Avocado Thief. Yep, Avocado Thief. At first I thought a local news story went viral – the news story about our local zaboca farmer, fed up of thieves, who claimed to have intentionally poisoned over 200 zabocas which were stolen and supposedly made its way to the markets – but it was not. It was, according to the Los Angeles Times, a story about “An admitted avocado thief in north San Diego County has been ordered to stay away from any groves bearing the popular fruit and prohibited from possessing more than 10 avocados at a time.”

What-ah-thing, I thought. Avocados, a.k.a Zabocas, seem to be the new gold of the North-western Hemisphere. Soon people will no longer hold up banks because banks tend to get very unstable due to internal greed. Robbers will soon storm zaboca estates while brandishing machine guns and 40-foot refrigerated containers. It will only be a matter of time before cargo trains and ships carrying tons of zabocas are hijacked by ruthless zaboca gangs. Cars with zabocas in the back seat or trunks will be broken into and the zabocas carted away. Laptops and iPads will be safe. Shortly there will emerge a Zaboca Godfather and a bloody zaboca turf war will give the law enforcers a new nightmare. Zaboca insurance will rise to unheard of and obscene levels. I cringe at the thought since me and my tree will no doubt be included in that turf and both will become unisurable.

Maybe our local judiciary will follow the American judge but I suggest 4 instead of 10 zabocas. I want to also recommend police conduct roadblocks and interrogate anyone who is found with 4 or more zabocas in their possession. The State of Emergency should be used to make a dent in the lucrative zaboca stealing cartel. Nip it in the bud, I say. If Kamla, Jack, Anand, Prakash, and Hubert really care about the people they should spare no effort in making the owning of a zaboca tree a source of pride and not like many Government projects, a source of income for thieves.

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Mr. Big Hatches a Plan


The Original Mr. Big

Sources close to both the Government and Mr. Big told Big the State of Emergency (SOE) would only be lifted after a certain amount of guns and ammo was recovered. So Big hatched a plan and ordered his minions to disperse some old crocus bags filled with assorted illegal drugs and old guns through the country and inform the Big TV man where he could find these stashes. Big told his people to stagger the information so everything wouldn’t be found the same day thus making it look like real reality TV. He warned his people to tell only TV Big and not the police as the corrupt elements in the Force would gobble up the stashes like rats in a police station.

After the first find was shown on TV with amateur Blair Witch drama, Big wondered why they didn’t come in daylight. Maybe it would be better for TV ratings if they came at night, he thought. One caller to the program asked TV Big why they didn’t stakeout the site to see who was collecting the stash, to which TV Big replied in true political style “Timing is everything. Next Caller!”

Big knew he had nothing to worry about with the SOE as the country was a jokey country run by jokers and letters to the editor. One thing that had Big very amused was when he read how the President decided to take that much-needed vacation while the country was on a heightened security alert. That was like parents going on vacation just after admitting their child to hospital with dengue hemorrhagic. Big was even more amused when he heard the media reporting that the police was now acting on intelligence. It was the first time he ever heard the words police and intelligence used in the same sentence in the country. Big had to admit the police seem revitalized by the SOE especially the popular rouge-element that seem to be enjoying their new-found powers to beat man left, right, and centre. Big wasn’t worried about the alleged intelligence of the police as he knew people couldn’t get bright overnight, even in Trinidad and Tobago.

Naturally, with the country locked down, his business would slip a bit but where there is a demand, there will be a supply. His customers need him and he will not let them down. Big had big plans for the country.

Some Mr. Big is Sending Messages


Giant Kim, awake and hungry

Police suspect that the hundreds of gallons of diesel spilled on the highway last Saturday was deliberate. Also, nobody is saying anything about the cause of a ruptured natural gas line off  Point Galeota, which happened over the weekend. I think these two incidents are connected and for these reasons I can’t help but feel something sinister is brewing in this country which might be the real reason for the State of Emergency. It might be organized crime  run by Mr. Big and Co, Ltd. at work, but it might even be something more menacing trying to regain control of the country.

The plus side of extending the SOE and increasing the number of  hot spots by eleven is that the criminal element will be even more dormant. But dormant means asleep and like all hibernating evil  creatures, once awake will be hungry like a starving giant.

Fee-fi-fo-fum!

Look out T and T

Get ready to run!

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Trinidad and Tobago State of Emergency and the Zaboca Thief


Trinidad and Tobago zaboca ready for teifing

The State of Emergency has a long way to go as the police in my area seem to be arresting people in alphabetical order of the crime committed and I reported a zaboca thief.

I confronted the neighborhood fruit and zaboca thief in my yard only last Thursday and explained to him the State of Emergency and how police was rounding up everybody who in even small ways was a menace to society. The zaboca thief became quiet, and I could tell he was going through some deep introspection.

“So, for two zaboca dey go haul mih ass in jail?” The zaboca thief asked.

“Yes” I promptly replied “Even if dey don’t find the zaboca in yuh possession dey go haul yuh ass in jail and in Toruba too.”

“The incomplete, cracking up stadium dat draining the treasury and so much people get rich off and people still getting rich off ah?”

“Yes, that stadium.”

“Dey arresting de Stadium teif an dem too?”

“No, dem is bigger fish yuh see and de State of Emergency is only for big fish.”

“So wuh is dis thing about de Hyatt?”

“Dat is only for gang leaders who want to hide out with call girls and cell phones, not the arrested.”

“Oh hoe!”

Suddenly, he said he had to leave, mumbling something about no family down South.

“Wey yuh going?”  I shouted as he skipped over the chain-linked fence and into the road with enviable ease and rod in hand.

With his back turned, he waved his hand and mumbled something about how he was late for an appointment in a nearby street. I started to wonder what the zaboca thief would do for a living now since the Government was bringing part of the national underground economy to a screeching halt, just like the official one.

Zaboca

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John Lennon and the Port of Spain Connection


Port of Spain was one of the eleven cities that was named by John Lennon and Yoko Ono in their 1969 antiwar drive called “The War is Over.” Their friend in Trinidad and Tobago was the infamous Michael X aka Michael Abdul Malik aka Abdul Malik. The song Happy Xmas (War Is Over) was written by John Lennon in 1971 and has become a Christmas classic. If you want to see the harsh realities of war done to the music of John Lennon click here (embedding disabled by request).

According to Wikipedia  “Following the impact of “Give Peace a Chance” and “Happy Xmas (War is Over)“, both strongly associated with the anti-Vietnam-War movement, the Nixon administration, hearing rumours of Lennon’s involvement in a concert to be held in San Diego at the same time as the Republican National Convention, tried to have him deported. Nixon believed that Lennon’s anti-war activities could cost him his re-election; Republican Senator Strom Thurmond suggested in a February 1972 memo that “deportation would be a strategic counter-measure” against Lennon.” Some of the intrigue concerning this fear of Lennon by the US Government can be seen in the 2006  documentary The U.S. vs. John Lennon. For some intrigue into Michael Abdul Malick see the movie The Bank Job.


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Trinidad Newsday Steals a Photo?


Trinidad Newsday, in the Business section today, used a photo from mayarobeach.com without the permission of the owner – me. The unauthorized use of photos is now a  common method of law breaking used by thieves, bloggers, and unscrupulous newspaper editors in the modern world. This unlawful use of the photo might not have been a problem if it wasn’t used in an article discussing the Intellectual Property Rights of local farmers. I am not going to use this blog post to ridicule and embarrass a local daily newspaper that already has been ridiculed and humiliated for firing one of the country’s top columnist for being ethical. I am simply going to state in this blog post how flattered I am that one of my photos was used again with the mayarobeach.com watermark cropped out almost as if it was done by a common thief who is accustomed to hiding the evidence.

I am not complaining as much as I am having fun with the cropping people at Newsday. Maybe it’s not Newsday’s fault as they may have contracted out the Business Newsday service to the lowest bidder rather than the most moral one. Maybe the people at Newsday need to remember that you always get less than what you pay for.

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The Strong Leader of Trinidad and Tobago


A strong leader must be able to speak with certainty to supporters about who to hate and how much. A strong leader must be able to use one hand to distract his audience with a fake diamond watch made in China using child labor while sticking his other hand in the Treasury to buy his woman or women anything they care to worship. A strong leader approves of early withdrawals and gang leaders. Strong leaders use public funds to host useless Summits and build useless cloud-scrapers and stadiums while the sick gets sicker and the roads turn to parking lots supervised by a man short on brains. A strong leader must always appear to his groupies as if he is in a rum shop and wants to break a bar stool on the head of anybody who is getting close to his hidden truth and palace. Strong leaders do not eat chicken or drink but they do womanize God-approved women. Strong leaders are always feared and never respected. Strong leaders must raise their voices at public meetings and bring in supporters by the bus loads to give the impression people give a damn about what they say. Real and strong leaders defend in public and privately those criminals who are part of strong-leader-approved criminal activities. Strong leaders have sleepless nights worrying about the cost of drapes in their future prison cell and if they offer ballroom dancing classes to strong leaders who find their rightful place in prison.

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For the new CEO of WASA


The Trinidad Guardian's reporters caught WASA doing the unspeakable during the worse drought the country has ever seen – Heads should roll and end up in jail.

WASA is an organization that lacks the technical competence the country needs for development and has no moral authority to finger the public as criminals when it is WASA’s officials, who should, for the very least, end up in jail for filling up the incoming CEO’s swimming pool with scarce water.

The incoming, foreign CEO of WASA should demand to live in a house with a swimming pool where his wife cannot be photographed by Guardian reporters in her swimsuit or bikini. The CEO of WASA should live in rural South Trinidad so that he, or possibly, she would understand what lack of service to customers mean and how to bathe with half a bucket of water. He should take a drive along Gordon, Ragbir, and Warner Streets in St. Augustine and also El Dorado Road and the Main Road near Curepe Junction to see the amount of water leaks that have existed for weeks and months without even the slightest bit of attention being paid to them by WASA during this period of severe drought. The CEO should then find the rum shop the leak inspectors hang out in during working hours and sit down and get drunk.  He should also investigate why contractors have to be sent three and four times in one month to have the same leak repaired – they are probably being paid per visit that is why. He should find out if there is any collusion between WASA pump employees and leak contractors to jack up water pressures just to burst pipes and milk the country dry.

The new CEO will probably not be successful since dedication to work is not the culture of most of the remaining WASA employees. He will discover many talkers and very little doers. The new, foreign CEO of WASA will probably end up like most expats in the country and party with young and pretty local girls till dawn. If WASA has a clear vision for the organization and its employees have a sense of how important the organization is to the country, the public would be surprised since almost none of their actions to date suggest that. WASA is an organization which runs on PR and not performance.  From what the public is hearing when they try to get water from their taps, WASA is only concerned about getting money from consumers and the Government to feed smart-men contractors who only appear to do something while actually doing nothing over and over.

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Trinidad and Tobago – A Nation Conveniently In Crisis?


The Chinese say out of crisis comes opportunity and that is why Trinidad and Tobago is the land of opportunistic people, not only the Chinese. Last week the Prime Minister said no more fetes in national sporting complexes probably because  of the high cost of  repairing The National Flagpole but the very next day Ministers were meeting to solve the perennial problem of nowhere to wine.

But a crisis isn’t always created for the opportunity to look good but sometimes to create the opportunity to fast track a tender award to those contractors who can charge several flagpoles more just by saying yes they can deliver in Chinese time. Even if the taxpayers will have to borrow to finance these fast tracked schemes, it will happen.  The reason for cost overruns in many Government contracts might be due to a change in design by mysterious forces and soil, resulting in a nice crisis midway through the project giving the contractor the opportunity to buy those two extra S-Class Mercedes along with that high-rise apartment his girlfriend always demanded for her sex-tape grade services. Only with this well planned, sudden design change will Mr. Contractor be able to spring for that industrial grade 10-speed blender his wife had her eye on for years. The opportunities taxpayers subsidize.

The traffic “crisis” is another opportunity to give those “fast” contractors the chance to overbid just to help the population, waiting in traffic, to get from A to B without using a shoulder.  The crime “crisis” can, or has provided “security supply companies” with the opportunity to deliver crime suppression supplies urgently at top dollar so the public and select suppliers would be impressed how serious the authorities are about alleviating their suffering. Besides, the crime “crisis” now employs both non-criminals and criminals thus making crime more organized and an all encompassing industry. The health care system will continue to fall apart once there is money to be made from people, who have no private practice or Government contracts, suffering in hospital corridors. The urgent need to impress foreign “leaders” is now causing the fast tracking of many things cultural including the cutting of the bush along the highway. The next new “crisis” will be water as the population is running out of tires and foam mattresses to drag and burn.

Out of crisis comes opportunity and if done properly, there will be no Commission of Enquiry.

Sticking A Flag Pole Up in Trinidad and Tobago


canada-marijuana-babe-eSo the flag and pole did cost around $TT2 million and nobody is surprised, just outraged and happy for the ammo. Though a breakdown of the expenses adding up to the 2 million was given by Team Hunt, I am not in a position to say if any, or how many, greased-hands were involved since I am not a flag man. The point is not only the credibility of the cost of the monster-flag and associated concrete but the reason we need a monster-flag during a recession and a white collar crime wave.

People are not saying it yet but  most think the flag is like the Honest Coast Guard with Australian interceptor boats seizing a shipment of coke or compressed marijuana – how many shipments were not seized – The majority. So, with the very visible waste-of-money flag and pole, we know where that extravagance went, but how many more extravagant waste-0f-money-items did we not know about? The majority – that is what most think.

frustrationYet, despite all the evidence and citizens’ mounting frustrations with crime, traffic, unemployment, and Bailey bridges, our certified-stupid Propaganda Minister admits the current Cabinet made only few mistakes but overall, they are doing a wonderful job. He was quoted as saying the mistakes will remain mistakes until they (The Ministers) acknowledge them (the mistakes). How do you unscrew a pregnant woman?

A poll by CNC3 last night showed the disconnect between the citizens and the Government that Reginald Dumas is constantly talking about when 95% of the voters said the Government is doing a bad job. Once the Government think the kick-back ready 5% of the population is all that matter, is crapo smoke we ganaga again.

p.s – the new unit of measure for the cost of public projects in Trinidad and Tobago is now The Flag-Pole where One (1) Flag-Pole is equal to TT$ 2 Million. E.g. The Education Tower in Port of Spain, unfurnished and incomplete, has cost taxpayers 230 Flag-Poles so far. CHOGM will be costing in the order of 120 Flag-Poles. Somehow, those don’t sound so bad.

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If You Can’t Beat Them, Shoot Them – The Public Cries


Johnny-abrahams-cops-kills-3Cops Kill 3 Kidnappers appeared to be the best news the crime-battered Trinidad and Tobago public had since hearing their cricket team made it to the 20Twenty finals in India.

From the stories all three newspapers carried, a businessman from Champs Fleur was kidnapped yesterday morning. The police were alerted and soon found the kidnappers’ car and gave chase. According to the newspapers, it was a high speed chase and not a low speed one. The kidnappers, realizing these police officers were heavily armed and not easy, decided to abandon their victim and ran through some bushes to escape fate and possibly some good licks. The kidnappers – young men from Beverly Hills- had guns and concluded, like any good criminal would, that they cannot escape without shooting at the police. Little did these kidnappers know that this team of police officers was being led by ASP Johnny Abraham, a colorful character and a no-nonsense police officer. As the saying goes, a team is as good as its leader so the bandits, lacking leadership and bulletproof vests, succumbed to the several bullet holes they received from Abraham’s team. One kidnapper escaped and I feel it’s only a matter of time before he meets his bullet. I am not saying it is right but I am saying it will happen.

On the heels of this kidnapping and CHOGM, but probably not because of it, a strengthening of the Police Service was announced today by Minister Martin Joseph but not many people noticed or cared.

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Trinidad and Tobago – The Hidden Truth


Mayaro beach - Tambran BallThe talented people of Trinidad and Tobago will not be attracted to a Prime Minister who is against plundering the public’s purse and such a Prime Minister of integrity will be surrounded by non-performers who will spend the rest of their lives boasting they didn’t thief but yet won’t  be able to show even one community center or public outhouse for all their years of integrity.

Our current Prime Minister and the one before him understood only too well that the public may say they don’t want wasteful, billion-dollar public projects but yet flock in droves around the Waterfront or Centre of Performing Arts with cameras to send pictures back to their family in the States just to impress them. The public would even boast to their foreign family that they don’t have to walk out the plane with umbrellas, raincoats or aluminum foil anymore. We are a society that publicly cries corruption but privately upload mega-project photos on Flickr with misguided pride.

Our recent leaders have recognized true talent and did what had to be done to attract these super talented people. The public understands this. We are more entertained by Commissions of Enquiries than troubled by them.  Without UDECOTT, property tax, murders,  drunk driving, Bailey bridges and The Chinese, I shudder to think what the headlines in the newspapers would be – maybe “Vendor arrested for pedaling oval Tambran Balls – Mayor claims an oval is not a ball. School Principal says he is a fool and threatens a beating” So, as much as we are disgusted by criminals taking over the country, both with guns and foreign bank accounts, we quietly realize it is the only way our small country can get to 2020 status without a private jet.

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Trinidad and Tobago – Even Worse Than UDECOTT


ball and legs - Kill Bill Vol 1The first thing people must understand is that despite the bad press the UDECOTT fiasco is generating and even if big, big, unsmiling, arrogant men in Government were implicated it won’t change the outcome of an election. What would change the outcome is if this current economic situation and mismanagement by the government affects people’s pockets.

Who thief” was always a form of vile entertainment for the population but not a reason to change die-hard political allegiance. However, despite the middle-class expressing annoyance with the Property Tax’s bigger ball and shorter chain, the inevitable slide of the TT dollar will be the blow that cracked everybody’s gold-plated egg. The currency slide will take away any gains people thought they made over the last few years. Big screen TVs and even big hard drives will once again become long-term dreams of the population just like winning the lotto. This currency slide will turn the manna from heaven our PM promised into anger and rage. That is why the self-righteous but corrupt trade union leaders are now vocal – they too need bigger TVs at good prices and vacations to Disney World.

Everybody knows the PM isn’t as stupid as he looks and sounds and that the PM loves power as much as he loves his million-dollar drapes, thus he is likely to call an election early in the New Year to protect the two things he loves the most. He will call the election months before all hell breaks loose and after he regains power the crime rate of today will seem like the good old days. The PM will get the majority in Parliament he longed for because the Opposition, having big, unaccounted for foreign bank accounts, has become an arm of the Government – surprise, surprise.

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