I thought I was seeing things but I was not. Trending yesterday on Yahoo! USA was Avocado Thief. Yep, Avocado Thief. At first I thought a local news story went viral – the news story about our local zaboca farmer, fed up of thieves, who claimed to have intentionally poisoned over 200 zabocas which were stolen and supposedly made its way to the markets – but it was not. It was, according to the Los Angeles Times, a story about “An admitted avocado thief in north San Diego County has been ordered to stay away from any groves bearing the popular fruit and prohibited from possessing more than 10 avocados at a time.”
What-ah-thing, I thought. Avocados, a.k.a Zabocas, seem to be the new gold of the North-western Hemisphere. Soon people will no longer hold up banks because banks tend to get very unstable due to internal greed. Robbers will soon storm zaboca estates while brandishing machine guns and 40-foot refrigerated containers. It will only be a matter of time before cargo trains and ships carrying tons of zabocas are hijacked by ruthless zaboca gangs. Cars with zabocas in the back seat or trunks will be broken into and the zabocas carted away. Laptops and iPads will be safe. Shortly there will emerge a Zaboca Godfather and a bloody zaboca turf war will give the law enforcers a new nightmare. Zaboca insurance will rise to unheard of and obscene levels. I cringe at the thought since me and my tree will no doubt be included in that turf and both will become unisurable.
Maybe our local judiciary will follow the American judge but I suggest 4 instead of 10 zabocas. I want to also recommend police conduct roadblocks and interrogate anyone who is found with 4 or more zabocas in their possession. The State of Emergency should be used to make a dent in the lucrative zaboca stealing cartel. Nip it in the bud, I say. If Kamla, Jack, Anand, Prakash, and Hubert really care about the people they should spare no effort in making the owning of a zaboca tree a source of pride and not like many Government projects, a source of income for thieves.
- Avocado thief ordered to stay away from groves, avocados (inquisitr.com)
- An idea I toyed with for some time (akalol.wordpress.com)
- Avocado (avocadoaxolotlchilichocolatecoyot.wordpress.com)
- Welcome to AvocadoCentral.com – Get Avocado Recipes, Nutrition Facts & More! (avocadocentral.com)
- Trinidad and Tobago State of Emergency and the Zaboca Thief (akalol.wordpress.com)
- Avocado thief banned from having more than 10 at a time (latimesblogs.latimes.com)
- Hass Avocado Recipes (avocadocentral.com)
- Feliz Navidad Avocado Tree Salad w/ Chili Vinaigrette Recipe (avocadocentral.com)