A Blog Survey


This Beach Called Life - recent daily blog stats

This Beach Called Life - recent daily blog stats

People start blogging for many reasons but I think the main reasons are (a) because everybody is doing it, and (b) it’s cheaper than a short skirt. Soon, however, if we persist, we get very attached to our blog and it becomes a part of us just like our chiseled abs or our “Beyonce in a short skirt” desktop background. We worry about not posting and we assume once we write a post it becomes a significant part of the blog universe. We believe people read out blogs and hope it becomes a source of inspiration and envy just as our Nissan Almeras and women have become. Posting to our blog then becomes our fix.

beyonceThere is nothing bad about being addicted to blogging except it changes the way we look at the world causing us to go through life looking at every thing and every situation wondering if this could be our next blog post.

With this in mind, and in order to try to get a better understand the blogger’s mind, I developed a blog survey. I posted the questions below because I needed a fix but if you seriously want to help move blog science forward, then do the actual survey by clicking here.


1.0 Why do you blog?

(a)    It will be my legacy

(b)    I need attention

(c)    I need an outlet for my frustration

(d)    Sex

(e)   I am turned on by comments

2.0 Do you plan to sell the rights of you blog to a movie company?

(a)    What?

(b)    Once the price is right

(c)    Only if Megan Fox agrees to the lead

(d)    Yes, but the movie must contain no nudity during the intermission.

3.0 How many visits does your blog receive per month?

(a)    Over 30,000

(b)    20,000 to 30,000

(c)    Less than 20,000

(d)    Less than 100

(e)    What is a visit?

4.0 How often do you update your blog?

(a)    I am a freak of nature so I update daily

(b)    Less than 20 times per month

(c)    Whenever I feel lonely

(d)    Every time the government decides to build a smelter

5.0 Does your blog contain photos portraying tasteful or disgusting nudes?

(a)    It’s the reason I blog

(b)    No, I don’t believe in nudity so I shower with all my clothes on.

6.0 Will blogging ever replace parliament?

(a)    Never

(b)    No

7.0 Do you sleep in the nude or have arm pits?

(a)   Yes

(b)   No

8.0 Do you think Angostura Bitters adds to the taste of pelau or bland blogs?

(a)    What is pelau

(b)    What is Angostura Bitters?

(c)    No, since it makes the pelau taste like orange juice

(d)    Yes, since it possibly has small amounts of deadly poisons which can enhance the taste of pigeon peas and some bloggers

9.0 Have you ever blogged while eating?

(a) No

(b) Does food count?

10.0 What is your favorite blog?

(a) This Beach Called Life

(b) All of the above

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Michael Jackson – What His Life Really Meant


Michael Jackson - 1958 to 2009

Michael Jackson - 1958 to 2009

So, what happens to us after we die? Well, if we were any good we would have ten albums in the Top Ten at the same time. We would be on the cover of nearly every  newspaper in the world and we would be the subject of countless blogs. The news of our death would cause the big TV networks and small ones to dump their regular programming to carry the event. People would gather in large numbers at our home and the hospital where we died.  We would have the most popular, currently watched videos on YouTube and our music played all day on the radio. Our death would cause shock, sadness but a flood of happy memories. We would be idolized and our questionable side put into perspective. We would cause the World to stop dead in its tracks and celebrate our life rather than mourn. If we were any good, people would be singing our songs to fill an emptiness they can’t hide.

I suppose it is only after he died Michael Jackson knew what his life really meant.

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Murder, Murder Everywhere in Trinidad and Tobago


Trinidad_Newspaper

Every day seems to be a better day in Trinidad and Tobago and yesterday was no exception. Camille Danniel, a woman who lived in Diego Martin, was carjacked. She attempted to escape by pulling into a “Model Police Station” but this plan didn’t work. The carjackers probably threatened to shoot Mrs. Danniel if she pulled in to the police station and she may have thought it was an acceptable risk because a Police Station should be a symbol of security. Tragically, Mrs. Danniel last moments were spent in terror as she was shot in the back on driving into the police station by one of the carjackers who was intent in keeping his criminal word. She died on the spot.

Most people, except The Party Faithful, were appalled at this recent assault by criminals on a defenseless woman but it was not unexpected since the interceptor boats have not arrived in the country yet.  Citizens also think there is only a cosmetic approach to the crime problem in Trinidad and Tobago as there were always rumors  saying some very big people with long strings and the police are involved in drugs and guns in Trinidad and Tobago. Citizens are outraged by this Murder in a Model Police Station and the only thing that may take the people’s minds away from the incident is if the Prime Minister announces the construction of another smelter or praises Martin Joseph’s intellect again.

We do not care if Martin Joseph is putting his best foot forward. We do not care The Prime Minister never expresses compassion because he has none. Did he speak with any compassion about Tecia Henry’s murder? We do not care if the Prime Minister has a fragile ego and Martin Joseph is his mentor and scapegoat. All we want is to not get killed and raped. We want to walk the streets without worrying about carjackers and muggers, and not worry about drunk drivers and speeding cars. All we want is to breathe air without toxins and to not fight the Government to do what is right.  We are not asking for much but to the average ruling politician we are asking too much.

No doubt the studying of the latest crime plan by Martin Joseph will be fast tracked to give the nation another illusion of care. Just wait and see.

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Crix – The Hole Truth


crix-brix

Fast forward to the future and the scene is not a pleasant one.

A cheap knockoff of the national cracker, Crix, is being made by an underground biscuit cartel and fooling all but the best biscuit experts. The nation is on high alert and the CoP is accepting full responsibility while  blaming citizens for taking Crix and its holes for granted. He tells the public “We should have never allowed this hole issue to get to this stage and any true Trini knows an original Crix has 18 holes so how on earth can a citizen eat a Crix without checking the holes? This is madness.” He urges citizens to report all cracker incidents to the police and to count their holes before they bite.  The Minister of National Security urges citizens to be calm and promises  a special  Counterfeit Cracker Squad,  equipped with the latest PR people and cracker hole counting equipment, will be set up.  The Opposition Leader is calling for foreign experts claiming the national cracker is in a jam. The PM thinks that remark was cheesy.

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H1N1 or Swine Flu in Trinidad and Tobago


hand_sanitizer

Legal Implications?

Is it legal to wear a facemask in public outside of Carnival Monday and Tuesday? If it is illegal the police  has turned one of their many blind eyes to it. Swine Flu, A(H1N1), has now hit Trinidad and Tobago with the number of cases increasing daily causing facemaks to become as popular as condoms  at Carnival. One police officer in Chaguanas was infected with the virus and a bigmouth Opposition Senator came close to getting it. There are 11 confirmed cases in Tobago and 7 in Trinidad which is scary since this is Trinidad and Tobago, the land of wasted billions and spiteful polaticians.

Caring Business Men?

In Chaguanas, people who were able to get facemask were wearing them in public while hand sanitizers were sold out at all pharmacies despite jacked up prices. Before the swine flu breakout, hand sanitizers were only used by those who knew better or wanted to “make a statement without saying a word.” Today, it is for only those who can afford it.

Face Mask

Should The Queen Visit?

The Government, under pressure to do what is right, wisely canceled the Caribbean Games in July and there is even talk it might affect The CHOG Summit in November. The Suriname Volleyball team contracted Swine Flu and is blaming Trinidad for it while a child in Antigua also contracted swine flu traceable to Trinidad. Our influence on the region cannot be doubted and the region is now bracing for a triple play; hurricanes, recession and swine flu. Hopefully this awareness of the virus will cause citizens to follow WHO guidelines to prevent its spread.

Should I Use Puncheon Rum?

(1)   Wash hands with soap and water for 15 to 20 seconds and use alcohol based sanitizers (Purel, Dial, puncheon rum etc) when soap and water is not available.

(2)   Cover mouth and nose when coughing and not like how it was done before.

(3)   If you have influenza type symptoms such as “fever plus at least cough or sore throat and possibly other symptoms like runny nose, body aches, headaches, chills, fatigue, vomiting and diarrhea”  see a doctor, even if you recently ate food from a St. James roadside food vendor.

(4)   Keep at least six feet from coughing and sneezing humans and shout at them saying “Get away from me, you swine flu carrier!” Make sure the coughing and sneezing human feels embarrassed enough to avoid public contact for the next two weeks.

(5)   Follow these guidelines http://www.cdc.gov/h1n1flu/masks.htm

Is swine flu a big deal or just a reason to miss work?

Some may think the swine flu is no big thing but it is. This influenza is not like the regular influenza virus where mainly old people, who were silently considered expendable, were affected. This swine flu or H1N1 seems to be seriously affecting the more valuable and better looking people who are also in the prime of their working and sexual life; people in their 20s to 40s. Yes, people in their 50s, 60s and even 70s can be attractive and sexually functional and therefore should also take the necessary precautions against the virus if they wish to continue having pleasures in life and in bed

person-panicDon’t Panic?

Earlier this month WHO declared A(H1N1) to be a pandemic. The word pandemic was derived from the Greek word pandēmos, meaning of all the people and should not be confused with the word panic, which was derived from the name for the Greek God of terror, Pan.

However, in Trinidad and Tobago, the health care system is poorly managed and with this added burden of a H1N1 now hitting the country, a good dose of panic is hard to avoid.

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The Butterfly Effect Undo the West Indies Again


Buttterfly_Effect

So The Butterfly Effect was responsible for undoing the West Indies in the World 20Twenty semifinals today. You see, I just went in the kitchen to get a coconut drop that was supposed to be in the microwave for protection against ants but couldn’t find it so I may have closed the microwave door at the wrong time and a bit too hard which triggered a series of unfortunate events ending with three West Indian wickets falling in the first over at The Oval in England, and before I returned without my coconut drop. Yes, my microwave door and I accept full responsibility for this latest demise of the West Indies Cricket Team.

It now appears almost certain that The Butterfly Effect, triggered by West Indian fans snacking at the wrong times, cause this type of thing a lot especially when The West Indies is batting and sometimes even when Bravo is bowling. All fans are now required to be very still during West Indies matches to avoid further catastrophes.

To make a long story short, The West Indies lost to Sri Lanka in convincing fashion as they barely managed 100 runs in their semifinal match. This loss by the West Indies was a disappointment to Windies fans and an embarrassment to butterflies and coconut drops everywhere.

Interview between Ian Bishop and Chris Gayle after the game ended:

Bish: So what went wrong out there today?

Chris: We got mauled. Weren’t you looking?

Bish: I know you got mauled but why did this happen?

Chris: We understand a certain fan choose to go for his coconut drop at the wrong time and well, the rest is history.

Bish: Do you plan any action against this fan?

Chris: The team will take a vote on it later  but initial outrage seem to point to a good cut ass for him.

Bish: Well, I will leave you to it then.

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Alutrint Smelter Construction Stopped


smelter4

Justice Mira Dean-Armorer, in her ruling on a lawsuite brought by a group of citizens against the EMA for issuing a Certificate of Environmental Clearance (CEC) to Alutrint to construct  an aluminum smelter in La Brae, said “It is my view that the decision of the defendant, EMA, was procedurally irregular, irrational, and made without regard to the relevant consideration, that is to say, the consideration of the cumulative impact of the three related projects—the power plant, the aluminum complex, and the port facility.”

The judge did not say the smelter was unsafe but the experts at the EMA, a politically independent body that should be responsible for guarding the environment, could not prove it was. The citizens apparently were able to show the judge enough evidence to cause her to be concerned and possibly wonder if the people at the EMA had all their marbles. The average citizen, who is illiterate because they live in La Brea according to their MP, might come to the conclusion the EMA bowed to political pressure rather than their conscience and duty.

protest1I find it unsettling that the biggest threat to happiness and comfort of the citizens of Trinidad and Tobago is the Government. Some, like the Prime Minister and his cabinet members, would say every action of protest brought by citizens against Government’s wishes is due to opposition politics and nothing to do with genuine concerns. Some might even say every decision by a judge against the Government’s actions is due to politics and not rational thinking. Everybody, except the politically insecure and obedient, knows these arguments are weak and usually parroted by weak minds that have lost the ability to think rationally and care for humanity. But a rational politician is like a sane madman or an intelligent dunce.

AluminiumThis case is destined to go to the Privy Council and if the EMA (Government) should lose then the reputation of the EMA would be damaged beyond repair and this would send a signal to the world that the threat to democracy is alive and well in Trinidad and Tobago. This is another case where the ordinary citizen will be fighting the people, aka Government, on behalf of the people.

People should not be afraid of their governments. Governments should be afraid of their people ~ V from the movie V for Vendetta

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