Saying a Prayer for The National Week of Prayer in Trinidad and Tobago


Praying_mantis_indiaThe prayers of the people of Trinidad and Tobago are working and as proof of this the head of the IRO said things could have been worse. What more proof do we need. Because of this revelation I would like support the IRO and Government of this semi-blessed land of Trinidad and Tobago and urge people to pray, not just more, but better. People should now pray 24/7 rather than at bedtime or during a hold up.  A newspaper reported the Prime Minister saying “Pray in whatever way you know. When you pray from the heart, God listens.” Which probably explains the high murder rate and confiscated cans of local orange juice.

I am thankful that the error in my praying has been identified and my prayers will now be heartfelt and focused. I will pray that all political parties be exorcised of drug smugglers, money launderers, bribe payers, bribe takers, pimps, wife beaters, child abusers, the power hungry and those dotish people who think fiction is fact. I will pray that no drugs exported from this country ever be be intercepted. I pray that nobody from our land is extradited to the US to face drug smuggling charges but instead be kept in this murderous and treacherous land called Trinidad and Tobago to face the righteous music and curry duck dished out by our AG and friends.I know my prayers will be acted on by the One who normally listens since this time the prayers would be from the heart and not the intestine as in previous cases. My bad.

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Fishing for Orange Juice in Trinidad and Tobago


Trinidad Orange Juice - a Trinidad and Tobago Icon

Trinidad Orange Juice – a Trinidad and Tobago Icon

Ever since it was discovered in the US that 700 cans of Trinidad orange juice had cocaine hidden inside, the citizens and well wishers of Trinidad and Tobago became anxious and with baited breath are still waiting to know who the true exporter of this juice really is. Surely this must be the work of the mysterious and elusive Mr. Big.  Could this be the moment we have been waiting for donkey’s years?  Mr Big is the mythical and probably real figure who hides in plain sight among the commoners and dignitaries alike.He is the local drug kingpin with powers that would be the envy of any politician or leader. In fact legend says he is, and has always been, the real ruler of the land for countless years.  Mr. Big is the local Keyser Söze.

Some say he started with bags but others say foreign used cars or maybe scotch. Nobody really knows. With things going a little astray overseas recently, the hidden ruler and master of the local drug world is calling on all his politician friends on all sides, to defend him against the foreign, evil oppressors who find his juice in poor taste.  The population is skeptical that Big would ever be caught and identity ever known because of his connections in high places. Naturally, most feel the manufacturer of the juice is not the exporter of the coke and the one who will be charged might be a headless sardine in the cesspit of the local drug trade.

I think it was in very poor taste that the exporter would risk tarnishing the image of a product that is iconic to Trinidad and Tobago and loved by all. As a country, we should stand up against those who want to get rich regardless who or which country they destroy on the way. And if for no other reason Big or Sardine make ah jail it should be for tarnishing the image of the nation for a few big cars and rolly polly women.

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Nicki Minaj – Pound The Alarm Video Screen Shots – Vevo


Nicki Minaj

Nicki Minaj

When someone asked me what I thought about the latest cabinet reshuffle my mind drew a few blanks. That is when I realized that I never posted a blog about our almost-very-own Nicki Minaj. Nicki Minaj was born Onika Nicki Maraj in the year 1982 in the tiny, bustling town of St. James,Trinidad and Tobago. However she, along with her parents, miraculously escaped alive from Trinidad and Tobago when she was just five years old. After the daring escape she grew up in a safer city in the USA called New York. An obviously talented girl, she changed her name to Nicki Minaj as she entered the world of celebrities who can make money. Currently she is 30 years old and also a  very successful ” rapper, singer, songwriter, actress, and television personality.”

In 2012, Nicki flew to Trinidad and shot the music video to her then latest single, Pound the Alarm. In the video some of the exceptional women of Trinidad and Tobago were featured resulting in Trinidad and Tobago being promoted as a must-see tourist destination with women.

In Pound the Alarm Nicki Minaj says:

Yo, what I gotta do to show these girls that I own them
Some call me nicki, and some call me roman
Skeeza, pleez, I’m in Ibiza
Giuseppe Zanotti, my own sneaker
Sexy, sexy that’s all I do
If you need a bad b-tch
Let me call a few

Here are some screen shots that I captured from the Vevo HD video of Pound the Alarm – enjoy.

Nicki Minaj

Nicki Minaj Nicki Minaj nicki-minage-4 nicki-minage-5 nicki-minage-6 nicki-minage-7 nicki-minage-8 nicki-minage-9 nicki-minage-10 nicki-minage-11 nicki-minage-12 nicki-minage-13 nicki-minage-14 nicki-minage-15 nicki-minage-16 nicki-minage-17 nicki-minage-18 nicki-minage-19 nicki-minage-20 nicki-minage-21 nicki-minage-22 nicki-minage-23 nicki-minage-24 nicki-minage-25 nicki-minage-26 nicki-minage-27

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Miss World Trinidad and Tobago 2013 – Sherrece Villafana


Miss. World Trinidad and Tobago 2013 Sherrece Villafana

Miss. World Trinidad and Tobago 2013 Sherrece Villafana

Miss World Trinidad and Tobago 2013 Sherrece Villafana

Miss World Trinidad and Tobago 2013 Sherrece Villafana

Sherrece Villafana

Sherrece Villafana

The contestants for the Miss World 2013 Beauty Pageant, which is to be held in Indonesia on September 28th, can be seen here – contestants. All the contestants are the usual suspects – pretty, hopeful and visibly female. Naturally, some are more likely to win than others but very few can agree on which ones are.

This year Sherrece Villafana will be representing Trinidad and Tobago at the Miss World competition. Apart from being very pretty, Sherrece is a 110-pound, pleasantly small-boned model from South Trinidad who attended Ste Madeleine Secondary School.  According to the Trinidad Newsday, Ms Villafana is also a second year student studying for a BSc in  Graphic Design at COSTATT.

In preparation for the competition, Sherrece is training in the usual model things like staying slim, walking seductively and also practicing for what some say is the hardest part of the beauty competition, a part that has wrongfully turned several of the most beautiful girls in the world into a total mess – question time. However, I think Sherrece should not be bothered too much with this question segment as it is highly overrated by viewers and is only a feeble attempt by pageant organizers to appease those intellectually stunted feminist who refuse to understand or admit what female beauty really is – power over men.

May the most powerful win!

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Carib and Stag – More Than Just Girls


More than just beer

More than just beer

Despite beer being brewed to perfection in Trinidad and Tobago at Carib Brewery in Champs Fleurs for decades, it only becomes real beer when served at the right temperature with peppered channa and that essential ingredient called our near perfect women. Some say if the Carib and Stag girls were discontinued, men would stop drinking beer and turn to meditation.

For countless years tourism, and in a few cases, a tourist, has taken a beating in Trinidad and Tobago. Because of poor marketing, poor work ethics, and career criminals we are constantly in treadmill mode in our attempts to woo visitors to our version of paradise. To get tourists to come to Trinidad and Tobago we would have to change our international image by highlighting our efficient policing efforts, preserve old buildings, ensure poison-free rivers and beaches, keep cobeauxs and crayfish alive and of course, highlight our diversely beautiful women using beer and blogs.

Like Crix, doubles, and commissions of inquiries, Carib and Stag have become true icons of our country but Carib and Stag have leaped to the head of the line with their marketing girls. There probably is a high turnover of these girls as shelf life can be short but the effect remains constant despite frequent changes.

The pictures that appeared on this blog were taken from the Carib Brewery website and Facebook pages.

http://www.caribbrewery.com/

http://www.facebook.com/caribbeer

http://www.facebook.com/stagamansbeer

Two facts about Carib and Stag in Trinidad and Tobago:

  • On May 16th 1950 Carib beer was first brewed
  • On Carnival Friday 1973 Stag beer was first brewed “in a 275ml A-line amber bottle. In the following year, its packaging moved to a 6 inch, 250ml green bottle”
Stag Beer Girls

Stag Beer Girls

 

Carib Girls

Carib Girls

Carib Girls Carib Girls 2

 

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Drones to fight Crime in Trinidad and Tobago


droneThe Government is planning to use mini-drone choppers in its latest attempt loose the fight against crime but win another term in office. The mini-drones will be outfitted with the latest spy equipment that can see through heavily draped windows and women, closed and bolted doors, hollow clay and concrete blocks plastered on both sides as well as politicians regardless of party. Apart from the latest spy equipment with current firmware, the drones will come with the usual annihilation equipment and MP3 players with ear buds. It is said that the drones will be controlled by an independent committee made up of ten citizens chosen by another independent committee selected by the President after consultation with the Prime Minister and  God. The Committee will be chosen from a wide cross section of the population and will include no more than one doubles vendor, one community leader and one atheist.  A two thirds majority – 6.667 people – will be required to activate the annihilation equipment where the target looks funny or is a gold-color Nissan. The drones will be capable of streaming live video via the social media and have its own Facebook page.

The Committee, like some politicians, church builders building churches from kick-back money, former head of State agencies and billionaire crooks, will be exempted from prosecution for any crime committed thus the Drone Committee will not have to worry about taking out the wrong man or car. Crime is expected to take a nose dive once the drones take to the air and start buzzing over crime hotspots and political meetings held behind closed doors. As is customary in this country, a kick-back will be paid to the politician or politicians who put the things in place for this latest crime fighting initiative to happen. As is also customary, offshore bank accounts will be set up as necessary.

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A Blackout under the Moonlight in Trinidad and Tobago


blackoutThe Easter Blackout of 2013 will go down in Trinidad and Tobago’s history as the most exciting thing to happen to this country since the attempted coup of 1990. It is rumored that this 8, 10, 12 hour electricity blackout was accidental and in no way the work of a defeated and humiliated but powerful and highly moral union or the disgruntled and eager-for-power opposition.

The massive outage happened some minutes after midnight on the start of the long Easter weekend and seemed more than a coincidence at first. With the aid of cell phones connected to the social media via cell sites running on backup batteries and the mauvais lang nature of Trinis, the extent of the outage was propagated among the population in a short time. Not only was the extent of the outage and what might have caused it known instantly but who meat was spoiling and how much mosquitoes was attacking who and where.

It was during this blackout that people had time to reflect on something other than Jack Warner and realize how dependent on electricity and Protox we have become. It was however very unfortunate that few realized how much nicer the country looked under the moonlight as compared to the pollution of street lights. This incident showed how easy it probably still is to shut the country down and that storming a Parliament full of idiots by another set of idiots will do very little to terrify the nation again. All that is needed is one false alarm from a gas plant and away we go.

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