Megan Fox and Angelina Jolie – Not tits but tattoos

Angelina Jolie wants to world to know via tattoo Quod me netrit me destruit or What nourishes me, also destroys me

A well placed tattoo on an average or good looking woman can amplify her sexiness in the eyes of a beer-drinking man in more ways than a micro-bikini alone can. I like tattoos on women but find the ones that are too large or take the form of a short story or GPS coordinates take away from the woman’s sexiness. From my observations, a sexy woman should have no more than three or four small tattoos, of which one should be above the ankle, one on the bikini line and the other two should only be visible to that special someone or gynaecologist.

Megan Fox likes people to read her back and side

Angelina Jolie and Megan Fox are two sexy and heavily tattooed celebrities who may not be as popular as they are today if their skin was virgin. Gone are the days when a sexy female celebrity can maintain media attention with talent alone. The modern day female celebrity must come up with ways to defend and maintain her sexiness using modern tools such as leaked sex tapes or other forms of nudity. However, the commonness of leaked tapes has caused celebrities to rely more on ancient tools such as bikini-line tattoos and body piercings. To constantly remain in the news, celebrities, via unnamed but well placed accomplices, leak information to the media and bloggers about hidden body piercings that were done at the dead of night by a famous piercing artist known as  “Lobes.”

Angelina Jolie GPS tattoo says something very specific plus or minus 20 feet

Angelina Jolie, apart from going high-tech with tattoos of the GPS coordinates for the birth places of her children, has a bikini-line tattoo which says “Quod me netrit me destruit.” Maybe she was targeting priests and Romans with that one. Megan Fox has a tattoo just below the bikini line which says “Brian” but being a man, I thought it said “Brain” as a man’s brain usually resides below the bikini line. Why would the sexy and in-demand Megan Fox  want to condemn herself to only one man is a mystery to me.  On the bright side, the world is full of Brians and I am sure Megan Fox knows this.

In keeping with the competitive nature of celebrity sexiness I am giving the reader the opportunity to vote for the Best Tattooed Female Celibrity:

Megan Fox appeals to Brian and all men's brains

Megan Fox's ankle tattoo says so much with very little

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Victoria's Secret Models

This Beach Called Life, the blog you are reading, finally received one million visits a few hours ago but this feat took over 3 years to accomplish. Some blogs do 1,000,000 visits in 3 months but this blog is not that type of blog despite efforts to become one. There isn’t much to say on reaching a million only that the second million will depend on even more luck as the competition for blog space and corrupt minds grows.  A million is just a number and like eight inches, might seem big, small or typical depending what you are familiar with.

A casual and even formal look at the visits per post shows that Victoria’s Secrets models are very popular and a Topless Latoya Woods did not do too badly considering the amount of time she was exposed for in this blog and in front of photographers. I am particularly happy for Zoe Saldana’s Star Trekking ways, Freida Pinto’s Pretty Face, Megan Fox’s Sex Symbol and the nudity shown by Jessica Alba and Kate Winslet. I am always amazed at how Lose Women in Tight Jeans and local porn can get people to come.

This blog contains 635 post so far and if  you are one of those who are curious which are the most popular post, here are the top 45:

  1. Victoria’s Secret – Models Exposed 104,433
  2. Megan Fox Sex Symbol Revealed 47,966
  3. Nude Body Painting 38,003
  4. Jesssica Alba and Kate Winslet – Nudity 29,909
  5. The Bikini in 2009 – Still Almost Naked 28,311
  6. Michael Jackson – “This Is It!” 27,140
  7. Life on Mars and Halle Berry25,583
  8. The Dark Knight’s Dilemma 25,100
  9. Sexiest Women Alive, Really20,632
  10. Trinidad Carnival 2009 Pictures 19,155
  11. Freida Pinto – More Than a Very Pretty F 18,317
  12. Angelina Jolie vs Jennifer Aniston 16,338
  13. Porn in Trinidad and Tobago – Something 14,900
  14. Zoe Saldana – Star Trek 14,171
  15. Maxim Models 13,564
  16. Lady GaGa Wants to Take a Ride on Your D 11,579
  17. Iker Casillas and Sara Carbonero – Spain 11,191
  18. Some Women Would Rather go Naked 10,032
  19. Everything You Wanted to Know About aka 9,640
  20. Fast and Furious – Loose Women, Tight Je 9,414
  21. Time Traveler’s Wife – A Male Butt Movie 8,659
  22. Rihanna – Umbrella – The Song To Change 8,581
  23. The Dark Knight vs Titanic 8,517
  24. The Photography 7,716
  25. Trinidad Carnival 2008 Pictures 7,303
  26. Sex, Celebrities and Sex Tapes – Why Lif 6,853
  27. Movie Taglines – The Untold Story…So F 6,080
  28. Latoya Woods Topless 5,754
  29. Porsche Cayenne – Hot Like Pepper 5,466
  30. FIFA World CUP 2010 – Waving Flag – K’na 5,101
  31. Miss Trinidad and Tobago Universe 2010 – 4,763
  32. Trinidad Carnival 2010 Photos3,996
  33. Psychic Predictions For 2009 and Beyond 3,724
  34. Why Golf Makes Men Horny 3,711
  35. Desirable, Sexy, and Beautiful Women 3,691
  36. Who Is The Iron Man And Do You Really Ca 3,465
  37. Latoya Woods – The New Miss Trinidad and 3,329
  38. Seven Pounds – A Weighty Movie 3,124
  39. Maria de Lujan Telpuk and the Playboy C o 2,981
  40. Aya Sugimoto Would Rather Go Naked… 2,824
  41. Kindle now available in Trinidad and Tob 2,656
  42. The Quest For The Golden Ratio 2,626
  43. Sex Tape – Trinidad and Tobago Style 2,601
  44. France Wins World Cup Exit 2,587
  45. Beyonce Good for Trinidad and Tobago 2,573
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Angelina Jolie is Salt but is She Kosher

In her latest movie, Angelina Jolie is Salt – Evelyn Salt, a tight-skirted CIA official who is accused of being a Russian spy. I think the name Salt is well chosen  since common names like Evelyn Maharaj or even Evelyn Kathiravelupillai would hardly attract the traditional spy movie crowd.  The most popular movie spies over the years were characters with simple names like James Bond and Jason Bourne since the popcorn munching multitudes are usually incapable of remembering long names during complex plots. Apart from the traditional spy names being easy to remember, the names usually pointed, in subtle ways, to important aspects of the spies’ character. Jason Bourne sounds like Jason Born, an amnesiac spy who is unaware of his murdering past so he unknowingly becomes a guilt-free, born-again truth seeker. James Bond, a more experienced, gadget toting secret agent tries to bond with all attractive females from several nations in two hours without any diplomatic or emotional fallout.

I can only speculate what the name Salt will have on our subconscious. I suppose if she’s on a table we might think of her as Table Salt or when she gets old and hard, Rock Salt.  In the mandatory Mediterranean bikini spy scene she would be considered Sea Salt. During those steamy love scenes we may think of her as tasty but Salty. If she happens to be Jewish then she will become Evelyn Kosher Salt.

I predict the Salt movies will have a long and successful future because Evelyn Salt will be a great enhancement to the male dominated spy movie world. A sexy female can do little wrong on the big screen with the right skirt and cheekbones.

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Sexiest Women Alive, Really


Kate Beckinsale

Kate Beckinsale is Esquire Magazine’s new Sexiest Woman Alive. I don’t disagree or agree since sexy is as subjective as the selection of Miss Universe or Cabinet Ministers. Kate Beckinsale is 36 years old and her age did not work against her selection.  To be sexy at 21 is no big deal but to be sexy at 36 might require talent and plastic surgery. I suppose Kate Beckinsale was up against the girl Rolling Stone Magazine is calling America’s Sexiest Bad Girl, Megan Fox, who is reportedly prone to temper tantrums and tattoos, both sexy traits that men look for in future girlfriends and wives. Mrs Fox also reportedly said that she wasn’t born with a special vagina.


Megan Fox is Bad

No doubt, Kate Beckinsale was also up against the perennial Halle Berry, Scarlett Johansson, Angelina Jolie and Beyoncé Giselle Knowles so her win is not a sham. But sexy is not only for the famous who show ample amounts of leg to the public, it is for the commoner. If you take a walk down the streets of any big city not suffering from inhibitions and fear you would see many sexy women who could compete with the best fame has to offer. But like tight jeans, short skirts and visible underwear, fame and hype amplifies sexiness. Sexiness means money and is used by the entertainment industry to give value to the lives of celebrities. It can be said that sexiness is what celebrities start with and a book deal is what they end up as.


Beyonce Looks Good

Scarlett Johansson Shows Almost Enough

Scarlett Johansson Shows Almost Enough

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Julie Mango – Trinidad

julie mango - 600In Trinidad, and to some extent, Tobago, the Julie Mango is considered the Queen of Mangoes for its wonderful flavor and soft flesh which doesn’t leave strings between one’s teeth. Julie Mangoes fetch the highest price among Trinidad Mangoes thus it encourages the most skillful backyard thieves. A Julie Mango tree is short by comparison to say a long mango and starch mango trees making it preferred by the sensible and the people living in small plots of land in sophisticated residential areas around the country. Everybody who wants to create an impression says they have a Julie Mango tree and it bearing and sucking good . Nobody ever says at dinner parties, I have a long mango tree because  long mango is considered unrefined. Eating a Julie Mango at your desk can be challenging if you want to eat it without cutting it into two faces and the seed and not look like a pig  since it’s a very juicy mango.

Some say the Julie Mango got its name from Angelina Jolie and her juicy mangoes but most experts doubt this since the name Julie Mangoes predated the phrase Jolie’s Mangoes.  

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Megan Fox Sex Symbol Revealed


Megan Fox become a sex symbol seconds after she opened the bonnet of  the old, yellow, American car that was overheating in the movie Transformers. This bonnet-opening scene has since become a classic and permanently featured in the dreams of those fabled creatures called decent men. It was also the scene which pushed Angelina Jolie from the top of the sex symbol list and to get a tattoo upgrade. There were no special effects or cryptic back tattoos in that scene but only raw, sensual curves shot from all the right angles.  If there was ever an ad to promote sex symbolism it would be the Megan Fox Transformer overheating engine scene and nothing to do with Angelina Jolie’s back . I would argue that Transformers was successful only because of the hot Megan Fox and not because of the guy who also starred with her. His name fails me right now.

megan-fox-bra-wet-03For a girl to become a sex symbol there must be consensus by the mass media and especially by that new mass media called blogs.  Fortunately, this blog overwhelmingly votes for Megan Fox, not only to be a sex symbol, but to be the #1 sex symbol of 2009 and constantly in my wildest dreams.

I don’t think there is any one reason why the masses find Megan Fox sexy but certainly her easy to read tattoos help. Some women have their sex appeal enhanced by tattoos while others turn to body piercings and silicone. I would estimate that 90% of a woman’s sex appeal she is born with and 10% comes from highlighting the natural 90% on the screen, in night clubs, on the beach and in blogs. The paparazzi and blogs have contributed in a big way to the popularity of the modern celebrity and “leaked” photos and sex tapes have become part of the hype building.Megan-Fox

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Angelina Jolie – Wanted – Nude


While we wait for clan member, Pro Max, to send us his Speedo photos from destination x, I decided to post some photos of Angelina Jolie’s tattoos as seen in the movie, Wanted. I take the risk of being removed from the integrity shortlist by posting this animated file I snapped together but at least I didn’t try to fool people into thinking I took these photos of Angelina last,  or any night.

I think the entire movie was made just so that this scene could be included. I don’t know the relevance of the scene to the movie or understand the code of the tattoos but I enjoyed looking at it very much.

Angelina Jolie is not only a great actress but a great canvas for art. I can see why Mr. Pitt was swayed the way he was.

I hope the animated file was not distracting and you eventually found the time to read these pointless words.

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Predictions for Golden Globe 2009

goldenglobe1These are my predictions for the Golden Globe awards to be held on Sunday January 11th, 2009. I may get some right or none but such is the uncertainty of movie awards.

    • Best Motion Picture – Drama

    Slumdog Millionaire

    • Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture – Drama

    Angelina Jolie – Changeling

    • Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture – Drama

    Brad Pitt – The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button

    • Best Motion Picture – Musical Or Comedy

    Burn After Reading

    • Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture – Musical or Comedy

    Frances McDormand – Burn After Reading

    • Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture – Musical Or Comedy

    Colin Farrell – In Bruges

    • Best Performance by an Actress In A Supporting Role in a Motion Picture

    Amy Adams – Doubt

    • Best Performance by an Actor In A Supporting Role in a Motion Picture

    Heath Ledger – The Dark Knight

    • Best Animated Feature Film


    Angelina Jolie vs Jennifer Aniston

    Angelina Jolie

    Angelina Jolie

    Angelina Jolie

    Angelina Jolie

    It is now a favorite pastime for bloggers to compare Angelina Jolie to Jennifer Aniston and say if Brad Pitt was right to leave one for the other. I don’t think there is a right or a wrong decision in this matter though very strong arguments have been made in choosing Angelina Jolie based on her lips. I don’t think there is any documented evidence where a man has moved from one woman to another based on lips alone since other body parts, such as the brain and the breast, have been known to exert strong influences in swaying a man’s mind.  I can’t think of any reason why any of these people have occupied so much of our minds and blogs over the years other than our own lives are lacking in the excitement department. In keeping with this lack of excitement concept I have decided to offer people the opportunity to cast a vote for these two women and the results will be submitted to Mr. Pitt at a later date.

    Jennifer Aniston

    Jennifer Aniston

    I am also including Rosario Dawson in the mix for those who can’t decide either way.

    Rosario Dawson

    Rosario Dawson

    IMDB – Top Ten Celebrities for 2007


    Here are my unwanted comments on IMDB’s top 10 celebrities for 2007.

    10. Tom Cruise managed to create some degree of public curiosity in 2007 even with his latest box-office bomb Lion of the Lambs. His claim to fame is his ability to produce good acting performances despite being handicapped with his physical appearance and friendship with the Beckham clan.

    9. Matt Damon was voted Sexiest Man of the year 2007 but faced stiff competition from yours truly, who withdrew at the last minute for obvious reasons. Being voted Sexiest Man Alive is not something men want to be burdened with since trying to live up to expectations can leave a man bedridden, but happy. Matt (the actor and possibly the blogger) was made very popular with the anti-Bond crowd when he showed to the world what a real secret agent is supposed to be – unsmiling and deadly, not womanizing and womanizing. But Bond seems happier.

    8. I saw Lindsay Lohan in two movies, Herbie Fully loaded and Bobby, but I can’t remember her in either. I have no idea what extra curricular activities she is famous for and never heard too much about her 2007 movie efforts. Lindsay Lohan came in at number 8, which goes to show I have no business commenting on her popularity.

    7. Zac Efron is even more unknown to me but he did create more public curiosity than Lindsay Lohan only he is not as good looking. His popularity may stem from being raised as an agnostic by his engineer father and former secretary mother. Or, it may stem from starring in Hairspray and High School Musical 2.

    6. Jessica Alba is famous for her rolls as Nancy Callahan in Sin City and as Sue Storm in Fantastic Four. Both are among my favorite movie characters and both are fond of wearing tight fitting clothes. Jessica Alba looks good not only in movies, but also in pictures eating ice cream, which can be considered both alluring and suggestive.

    5. Angelina Jolie has a big heart with lips to match. She is certainly sexy but distracting at the same time. I can never look at an Angelina Jolie movie without being preoccupied with her lips and forget everything she is saying. That is not a good trait for any actress or moviegoer to have. In 2007 she starred in the dismal but nicely revealing Beowulf 3D.

    4. Christian Bale can kick butt because he is the real Batman and not some joker. He was the one responsible for giving back Batman and DC comics their good name, which was sullied by recent attempts to revive Superman without the right Kryptonite. In 2007 he starred in 3:10 to Yuma a western with a twist. The twist being it also stared a New Zealander-Australian called Russell Crowe, who happens to be the cousin of New Zealand Test Cricketers Jeff and Martin Crowe.

    3. Hayden Panettiere – pronounced Pen-eh-tee-air and is Italian for baker – is a girl and first entered show business when she was 11 months old and appeared in a Playschool TV ad. Her current bout of fame has nothing to do with Playschool or her 1999 Grammy Award nomination but with her role in the obscure TV series called Heroes, and disrupting some Japanese fishermen on their annual dolphin hunt. It is estimated that she earned $2 million dollars in 2007 which can’t even buy the gates for an average size mansion but she is young and can start saving now for the hinges.

    2. Bradley Pitt aka Brad Pitt was once married to Jennifer Aniston and once dated Robin Givens. He is now in some way involved with Angelina Jolie and that is why he is still so popular. Bradley was, and is considered among the most attractive men alive along with Michael Jackson and Rosie O’Donnell.

    1. John Christopher Depp II a.k.a Johnny Depp is not only the most popular celebrity for 2007 but one of the most talented actors on the Planet. He is most remembered as Edward Scissors Hand, Captain Jack Sparrow, Roux and the Stephen King character Mort Rainey, all successful loners. Depp is perpetually popular because he signs autographs and calls America dumb. It’s hard to say if Johnny Depp is normal but normal was never a requirement for talent and living a good life in France.