Music, Laughter, Wine and Sex

Music, laughter, wine and sex are good for your health. Studies conducted by researchers showed when people listened to music they enjoyed their blood vessels opened which caused more blood to flow to those vital organs. However, when people listened to music they didn’t like, or saw certain politicians, their blood vessels narrowed and caused nausea, vomiting,  diarrhea and embarrassment. Researchers also found that sane people who laughed several times a day and who always found life funny had lower rates of heart attacks than sour people.  For years, moderate drinkers hoped that wine was good for the heart and their wish finally came true. Scientist observed that moderate wine and alcohol drinkers not only lived longer but were more interesting people. Scientists are not sure how alcohol extends life but one suggestion is that alcohol gives people something to live for. Male sex researchers, not to be left out, found that frequent safe sex in nearly any position was linked to a healthy body and a life worth living.

With all these health studies taking place, researchers are now studying the effects of Carnival on health in Trinidad and Tobago and whether it does anything for the well-being to those who enjoy it. Some scientist suspect the secret to a long life may not only be as a result of  listening to music while having sex with a funny person after a few glasses of wine, but it may also be due to enjoying Trinidad Carnival.

Trinidad Carnival 2009 Pictures

Trinidad Carnival 2009 Pictures

UPDATE – 25th March 2009

Album 9 is out

mayarobeach.com.

Nude Body Painting

Jessica White was photographed by Rennio Maifredi in Grenada.

Body painting is a form of artistic expression that uses average paint to make gorgeous bodies look even more gorgeous. Body painting is temporary and is mainly done on female bodies because it isn’t  a macho thing. The Caribbean is not new to body painting and when Columbus landed he met the Caribs and Arawaks using annatto to paint their bodies and surf boards. Body painting can be more than artistic and it can even be used by women to say to the public, “I am Hot.”

Tattoos are a permanent type of body painting and are used mainly by women who think they would look hot throughout their years. Tattoos can have a deep meaning but it’s the shallow meaning which everybody understands. Tattoo designs should be chosen carefully since a heart-shaped tattoo on a butt can stretch in no time to look like a circle with even less meaning. Tattoos can be considered your short-lived friend.

Nude body painting is now popular among top models who are shaped to kill. Nearly every naked female model’s body will look better in body paints but not every model has a body like Jessica White, who is not very ticklish. Nude body painting is one way the media can have models pose nude and offend less than half the people they normally offend. As more and more women choose body paints to express their feminine side more and more men will take up the brush in support.

Blogs of the Day

It’s hard to be great when you’re not humble but who needs either one anyway. One of This Beach Called Life‘s blog post was selected by wordpress.com to be included as their Top Post for the day, February 19th, 2009. One hundred Top Post are selected everyday based on the popularity of the blog  post for that day. The post came in at 77. The popularity is based on unique visits to the blog post. The post that did it was Sir Allen Stanford’s Financial Empire Investigated.  This blog was posted before Sir Allen was charged and it attracted some detailed comments from people who seemed to know some of the inner workings of The Stanford Empire and who tried to defend Sir Allen. Apparently, much was a stake.

Incidentally, my Freida Pinto post is now doing very well and recorded even more visits that the Sir Allen post. The Allen Stanford blog post scored 575 unique visits yesterday while the Freida Pinto post scored 643.  These visit-surges never last too long but it feels good while it lasts.

Since humility is not my thing I will go on to say wordpress.com host over 4,000,000 blogs which contains several million blog post. To make it to the top 100 even for a day feels ok.

Saving Money The Old Fashion Way

Banks are losing the battle against mattresses.  With financial institutions crumbling and others under suspicion people are going back to the good old ways of saving money. Unlike with financial houses, mattresses offer savers the peace of mind of knowing where the money is once the mattress is theirs. Bankers, in an attempt to woo customers back have launched a campaign against the mattress. In a recent ad some bankers are claiming the mattress is an easy target for bandits and people should not be foolish with their money. The ad was signed Madoff, Duprey and Stanford.

It doesn’t matter if a person has ten dollars or ten billion dollars, mattresses are safe havens for both billionaires and paupers alike. Whether you put your money in Sealy, Serta or Lensyl the level of security and peace of mind is the same. However, there are differences in the way people bounce on the various models. Mattress companies are now seeing new opportunities and are developing something called the high-security mattress for those who want a bit more security because they underpay their sleep partners. So, the next time your banker offers you a financial instrument with a high rate of return tell him you will sleep on it.

Beauty or Brains – Why Men Must Matter, I Hope

Freida Pinto

Freida Pinto, the Slumdog Millionaire sensation, was recently quoted as saying she wants to be more than just a pretty face. Freida Pinto may have read this blog some weeks ago which could be the reason for her recent statement. (If Rihanna and Sir Allen could read my blog why not Freida). Freida is lucky in that she is already known for more than her beauty and is also recognized for her talent and presence.

This blog recently conducted a survey where several women on the streets, in offices and in washrooms were asked if they would prefer to be beautiful or to be bright. Nearly all the women I approached asked if they could be both while several more called the police. I had to stress to the willing women it was either beauty or brains, since they were not men. The survey results showed 9 out of 10 women choose beauty. This is not surprising since the desire for women to be beautiful and be noticed has generated a multi-billion dollar industry with First World women probably spending more on anti-wrinkle creams than on the elimination of world hunger.

Ugly Betty

The modern woman is not like the ancient woman who would rather be admired on a pedestal while being fed grapes than consulted on world affairs or a cure for herpes. The modern woman wants to be sexy, beautiful and a professional. The enrollment of women in tight jeans and short skirts at universities now outweigh the enrollment of both beer-drinking and eligible males combined. The average woman in 2009 is now attractive, intelligent and pompous. The average woman no longer needs a man in her life to buy her grapes or underwear and makes he own decisions like which man to dump and which man to run over with her car in both directions. To the modern man, the modern woman is intimidating but even more attractive because of her aggression. Some men like it rough.

Men are no longer in great demand by women and this has not been easy for men to accept. Men were brought up to believe the King was the boss but the Queen was in charge. Men never fought this amusing role and played along out of fear of being nagged. Men are now no longer even Kings and are merely being used for sex by women when convenient. This sucks. Men were never meant to be used by women and this cannot go on for too much longer. I am writing this blog post in desperation and  hoping all demoralized men would read it and rally together to regain our rightful place in The Universe and in bed. Men, say no to being trampled on but mostly say no to convenient sex at those uhgodly hours.

Where is My Sahara Dust, Mr. Mackie

Weather Prediction - Carnival 2009

Mr. Mackie, you are our weather man and we depend on you for our weather. You know about rain and flood and clouds and Sahara Dust. You know what we like. Google told me we are in the dry season but I only see rain. I know about Trinidad and Tobago weather, Mr. Mackie,  and Google is right. So, Mr. Mackie, where is our Sahara Dust and our sun?  Please, give us an answer and please, give us hope.

I am only writing this because  things look a little bleak for Carnival Monday and Tuesday next week. I hope the forecast is wrong and I hope you would say so. You are our weatherman and you must know better. Tell us the truth, Mr. Mackie, and make it go away. We don’t want any more bad news. We don’t need anymore bad news. We want sun on our backs and dust in our face. We want oil to go up so our PM won’t be sad. He is so sad these days. We want our money in our banks. We want the crooks in our jail.  We want to jam and whine and take plenty pictures. So, Mr. Mackie, tell us we will have a good time and please, tell us today.

Valentine’s Day – Teddy Power

Hot Lips Flower - Asa Wright

I was going to write something in my blog on Valentine’s Day but I was too busy finding that right gift. It seems all the stores were out of edible panties and a box of chocolates doesn’t have the same effect.

In principle, Valentines Day makes sense as the economy is stimulated as much as the people who observe it. It is a day when couples give each other senseless stuffed white and red teddy bears and heart-shaped chocolates. It is also the day some guys try for sex by buying that special someone a dozen roses and think dinner at Tiki Village is the right aphrodisiac.  What would St. Valentine say if he could see into the hearts of some men on that day of love? “Go for it!”

Valentine’s Day is no longer a day of Love or Lust but a day of Guilt. It is a day weak men buy the traditional gifts for that special someone because other men are doing it. The first working day after Valentine’s Day is even more important than the Day itself. It is the day when women huddle together to compare notes and prove to each other how well trained the males in their lives are. Those women who cannot train their men or have no one worth training simply lie. Valentines Day has nothing to do with showing love and affection but all to do with showing off. It is the day women use to demonstrate to men, even real men, the power of the Teddy.

Trinidad Carnival Exposed

Are bikini Carnival costumes better than full-body Carnival costumes? The answer is the same as asking if a BMW Roadster is better than a Toyota Corolla. Both  get you to the same place but the ride isn’t the same.

This year, full-body Carnival costumes are  once again cheaper than bikini costumes because of low demand. The number of women who want to cover up is declining as more women see the light and the need for proper exposure. Still, a small number of people prefer to see covered bodies since, according to these people, too much exposed flesh in public can promote a good time.  As much as full-body costumes provide more surface area to be creative, bikini mas is more attractive and mainly responsible for the popularity Carnival enjoys today. Carnival is about enjoyment and pleasure and not for displaying works of art on bolts of cloth. Only the pretentious would think otherwise.

The Meaning of Carnival

The origin of the word Carnival is a bit unclear but not the meaning. One suggestion is the word Carnival originated from the Greek prefix carne which means meat eater. Another suggestion is that it was derived from the Italian carne levare meaning to remove meat. There is a third suggestion which says the word Carnival comes from the Latin expression carne vale, which means farewell to meat. So, whether you are eating meat, removing the meat or saying goodbye to the meat It’s Carnival.

Sir Allen Stanford’s Financial Empire Investigated

The Stanford Financial Group’s business activities are being investigated by the US authorities. The financial group is owned by Sir Allen Stanford, a Texas Billionaire and an Antiguan Knight. Over the last few years Sir Allen Stanford’s name became a household word to all West Indians and the cricketing world because of  the huge prizes he offered to mainly West Indian Cricketers. Now his financial empire is under scrutiny for offering rates of returns to investors that seemed too good to be true just as Sir Allen’s cricket prizes were.

I have a hunch that this may be the end of the lucrative side of the Stanford 20Twenty Tournament in the West Indies and there is much speculation about the cancellation of the US$20 million dollar England/West Indies 20/20 for 20 Tournament. The West Indies cricket team easily won the first match of the 20/20 for 20 Tournament with each West Indian player pocketing one million dollars US while the wife of an English cricketer won the privilege to sit on the billionaire’s lap. Many people said this prize (money) was too good to be true and it was poisoning cricket but nobody died. Sir Allen also added several novelties to the game such as  interviews with players on the field and the Super Over Tie -Breaker. The one missing attraction to the Stanford 20/20 matches was cheerleaders, Indian Premier League style.  Some cricket traditionalists were upset that Stanford, an American, threatened to take the game away from its non-American roots but now they may not have to worry.

Both West Indian and English Cricketers are concerned they may not have another shot at the multimillion dollar prize again but world financial conditions and the FBI might determine what happens next. Cricket needs a shot in the arm again and if Sir Allen Stanford cannot do it then maybe a consortium of business men can. Stanford showed the world what was possible with cricket but he may not be able to do it if he is shackled for his past.

UPDATE – 17-02-2009 :

Washington, D.C., Feb. 17, 2009 – The Securities and Exchange Commission today charged Robert Allen Stanford and three of his companies for orchestrating a fraudulent, multi-billion dollar investment scheme centering on an $8 billion CD program.

Stanford’s companies include Antiguan-based Stanford International Bank (SIB), Houston-based broker-dealer and investment adviser Stanford Group Company (SGC), and investment adviser Stanford Capital Management. The SEC also charged SIB chief financial officer James Davis as well as Laura Pendergest-Holt, chief investment officer of Stanford Financial Group (SFG), in the enforcement action. ~ The Wall Street Journal

Charles Darwin and Blog Evolution – Origin of The Blog

Today, February 12, 2009 marks the 200^th birthday of Charles Darwin, a man who discovered we didn’t just happen but evolved from some sort of blob or blog.  Unfortunately or fortunately, Charles Darwin did not have a blog in the form that exist today otherwise he would have received numerous hate-comments from those who would have preferred he renounced his Theory of Evolution on his death bed. He would have also received much praise and a blog award or two.  If Darwin was alive today he would not have become a celebrity woman-beater or taken a vacation on The Galapagos Islands but would have,  instead, written a blog post called the Origin of The Modern Blog.

Fortunately, this blogger is not like Charles Darwin and is still alive. This blogger is also Darwin’s very distant relative since we both evolved from the same mess. Having a couple of the same genes as Darwin, this blogger will now try to briefly explain the highly ignored and disrespected Theory of Blog Evolution:

When the first blog started several years ago it was boring. It consisted of the blogger lamenting the taste of oatmeal and his wife’s mother. Maybe he was a serial killer or pervert, I don’t know.  However, since that time, many blogs spawned from that one blog. Blogs branched out into several categories such as humor, politics, entertainment, hobbies, science, voodoo,  diaspora, activism, oath meal, nothing-really, and even boredom. Thankfully, not all blogs survived and the process called the natural selection of blogs weeded out unfit blogs but that did not mean the blog had to be perfect to survive. Good enough was all blogs needed to be and there are now too many of those. Yes, some blogs did change by chance and WordPress but they mainly changed to adapt to their environment. That environment could have been in the form of lack of visitors or even a lack of comments. It could also have been in the form of the war in Iraq, girl-hitting by a popular R&B singer, or even corruption in Port of Spain.

Michael Phelps developed a streamline body because he spent most of his life in water. Usain Bolt developed long legs to escape speeding gangsta bullets and fans in Jamaica. In the same way some blogs developed comment moderation to handle hostile comments and sexy spam while others that failed to adapt were crushed under the weight of sex and real estate for sale comments. Some blogs attached themselves to widgets to have some useful content or slick attractions for visitors while others shamelessly advertised on Google in order to survive. Unfortunately, blogs by themselves did not have the intelligence to know what change was right or wrong  and sometimes neither did the blogger. If the blog suited the environment the blog survived and some even developed into well-visited blogs with some useful content and produced a few good looking children.

This Theory of Blog Evolution is based on observation of the facts. It is not a pie in the sky or wishful thinking. As more fossilized blogs are found and studied the theory will  be modified accordingly and if necessary.

Trinidad and Tobago Travel Advisory – Danger, Gun at Your Head

The Trinidad Guardian today carried a summary of current Travel Advisories for Trinidad and Tobago. These Advisories truthfully warn visitors  that Trinidad and Tobago is a haven for crime where visitors’ bodies and their possessions are at great risk.  These Travel advisories paint Trinidad and Tobago as a place where criminals  and  their guns are safe and where no crime is solved.

In an apparent retaliation for these advisories from five countries that have already attained 2020 status, the Government is planning to unleash, once again, The Minister of Works or a similar dodo head onto the population.  It is also expected that either the Commissioner of Police or The Minister of National Security will go on TV and state this will be the safest Carnival ever but nothing about after. The population will jump up and down on hearing these words of reassurance and feel safe once again. The Minister of Works will call these travel advisories mischievous and foolish and put the blame on the Opposition while The Prime Minister will continue looking through newly acquired files for more evidence against The Leader of The Opposition and upload a new profile picture on Facebook. The Minister of Finance will continue Googling and Wikipediaing Financial terms and concepts. While all this Ministerial activity is going on three hundred serious crimes including three UDECOTT tender awards would have occurred.

Government’s Vision is clear and that is what is so frightening.

• The US Travel Advisory
• UK Travel Advisory
• Canada Travel Advisory
• Australia Travel Advisory
• New Zealand Travel Advisory

Trinidad Was Nice, Trinidad Was a Paradice

The President of The United States Writes The Prime Minister of Trinidad and Tobago

The US President decides to write the Prime Minister of Trinidad and Tobago a brief, informal letter to discuss a few things. Here are the contents of that fictitious letter:

Greetings Mr. Prime Minister and lets hope we could work together in the spirit of cooperation and all that crap.

Only recently I became aware of who you were but knew about Trinidad and Tobago from my Geography classes and apparently there might even be a Trini in the Whitehouse since Trinis are everywhere, I am told by the CIA.

I am due to officially visit your beautiful country for some Summit thing ah hear yuh having and I hope the security in your country is tight but from what I have been reading it sounds frightening. Seven murders in one night in a country so small? Well, I was going to write “You can’t be serious, Mr. Prime Minister” but my aides said it would be impolite to imply incompetence and stupidity in an official letter to a Head of State. But seriously, “Wuh going orn, man. De country so small and the murder rate out of control. Yuh know wah yuh doing?” However, it was heartening to read your Police Commissioner is more than a little concerned.

I will be coming for one, two or three days by Air Force One and hope you have secure parking for my plane. De way I hear dey thiefing things from foreigners over in Trini ah feel ah go have to put mih own guards to watchman mih plane. Ah hear yuh wanted yuh own plane too buh yuh couldn’t get though. Next time, nah. Boy, you real big, yes.

As you are well aware, I am new to being a Head of State and I met tons of problems caused by a dumb administration when I entered office. I suppose you, being in power for so long, must understand what a dumb administration is.  This is a crazy world we live in where the population is getting brighter and have access to Google so pulling wool over people’s eyes by politicians is not as easy as it once was. The world is now so crazy people of democratic countries are now demanding their politicians perform or else they would be voted out. I would like to find out how you became the exception to that rule. Maybe we could discuss this at the Summit thing but I think it’s better to perform than to find wool.

The US and Trinidad have always been allies but I understand your heart and one kidney is with Cuba. I suppose you are a big man and can make big man decisions. I don’t think Cuba is a threat to the region and my good friend Bill spoke highly of Cuban cigars. I just thought I would bring up Cuba since you seem to have a thing for the place.

I heard so much about the natural beauty of The Asa Wright Nature Centre, the Splendor of Carnival, The Wonders of The Pitch Lake, The Height of The Hyatt, The Floods of Port of Spain and The Truth About UDECOTT. Nice place you have there and I have one word of advice for you, if I may be so bold, and that is The Truth doesn’t always set you free. But I suppose you knew that long time.

Anyway, got to go now and stimulate the economy so…

…will chat later

Chris Brown Charged for Alledgely Assulting Rihanna

The Los Angeles Police Department was reported to be investigating a Mr. Chris Brown for allegedly assaulting his girlfriend, Robyn Rihanna Fenty( Rihanna) on Sunday. Both Mr. Chris Brown, and Rihanna  did not attend the Grammy awards last night and Rihanna was scheduled to perform. Rihanna has sold over 10 million song downloads for 2008, more than any other artiste. I am not sure how many Chris Brown sold and really don’t care.

Hopefully, this is just a rumor and it never happened. Hopefully this was a piece of mischief propagated by a press desperate for news and nothing more. But suppose it isn’t a lie. I didn’t see the booking sheet for Brown but it is being reported he is out on $50,000 bail.

Wouldn’t this be tragic if it were true. Another man beating a woman and it doesn’t matter if it was a tiny slap or not. I think the world doesn’t need another woman-beating male hero and who can sing and dance and display tattoos on his arm to prove his machismo. I have no idea what either Chris Brown or Rihanna is like in real life but surely violence by a man against a woman, any woman is a sign of male weakenss and a dysfunctional male brain. Surely, the life of celebrities are stressful but excuses are always too easy to find. I also have no doubt the the counseling of the male can work but I feel public shaming, a don’t buy CDs by the prepetrator and a long jail term would be close to appropiate justice. On a more opmistic note, this incident may not be true but I can’t find any evidence it isn’t.

West Indies Skittles England for 51 Runs

It’s nearly impossible to not get blown away when the West Indies routs England for only 51 runs to win the first Test match in the Wisden Trophy Series. In what has been described as a spell of a lifetime, Jerome Taylor electrified the West Indian fans taking English scalp after English scalp reminiscent of the former glory day of West Indies Cricket. Fans cheered, danced and tapped the back of their TV sets in Trinidad as stumps and bails became dislodged at Sabina Park Oval in Jamaica. It was like a David Copperfield illusion and West Indians were wiping their eyes not of tears but in disbelief.

It was an almost flawless all round team performance from Chris Gale and the Windies which started with centuries from Gale and Sarwan. The game was about even this morning when the West Indies made a mere seventy five run first innings lead. This lead, however, proved insurmountable for England. It was not clear if it was simply the intensity of the West Indian bowling or the seventy five run lead, but England appeared to not have any fight in them after they lost their first wicket.  A five day Test Match was over in just three and a half. This shortened Test Match will no doubt affect match revenues but it will be made up for in the next Test as West Indian fans rally round the West Indies!

Congratulations to the Team and I hope to be posting a similar blog post next match!

The UDECOTT Defense

There are two teams of high-power lawyers defending UDECOTT at the Commission of Enquiry, which means citizens of Trinidad and Tobago are paying millions of dollars, times two, to represent (or is it defend) itself against itself. The people at UDECOTT would argue they didn’t ask for the Commission of Enquiry (and for good reason) but now the Commission is a fact of life, it has to defend itself with all its might, all its soul, and all the taxpayer’s dollars it can, once again, lay its hands on.

The teams of lawyers representing UDECOTT are saying their client is being unfairly attacked which I take to mean their client would prefer to be fairly attacked but have no problem with an attack, per se. That, however, is a layman’s view and subject to misinterpretation by even an average lawyer. I don’t know if these lawyers are that clever or worth the money they are being paid but as far as I am concerned these lawyers are inciting thoughts of violence when the word attack is used in the same sentence with the word UDECOTT. Instead, these lawyers should have used the more passive synonym for attack, bother and say “UDECOTT just doesn’t want to be bothered.”

When highly paid lawyers are being paid big taxpayers’ dollars to defend something that cannot be defended they beg for the stadium not to be consider as a typical example of their client’s work. This is similar to a man being sentenced for robbery saying “look how many people you can’t prove I robbed.” I would be the first to agree that lawyers have to do their job which is to represent their clients to the best of the lawyers’ ability, even if that means they ( the lawyers) have to stand up in full view of the public and bray like an ass. It seems the law is not the only ass in town and taxpayers continue to fund stables of them.