The President of The United States Writes The Prime Minister of Trinidad and Tobago


The US President decides to write the Prime Minister of Trinidad and Tobago a brief, informal letter to discuss a few things. Here are the contents of that fictitious letter:

Greetings Mr. Prime Minister and lets hope we could work together in the spirit of cooperation and all that crap.

Only recently I became aware of who you were but knew about Trinidad and Tobago from my Geography classes and apparently there might even be a Trini in the Whitehouse since Trinis are everywhere, I am told by the CIA.

I am due to officially visit your beautiful country for some Summit thing ah hear yuh having and I hope the security in your country is tight but from what I have been reading it sounds frightening. Seven murders in one night in a country so small? Well, I was going to write “You can’t be serious, Mr. Prime Minister” but my aides said it would be impolite to imply incompetence and stupidity in an official letter to a Head of State. But seriously, “Wuh going orn, man. De country so small and the murder rate out of control. Yuh know wah yuh doing?” However, it was heartening to read your Police Commissioner is more than a little concerned.

I will be coming for one, two or three days by Air Force One and hope you have secure parking for my plane. De way I hear dey thiefing things from foreigners over in Trini ah feel ah go have to put mih own guards to watchman mih plane. Ah hear yuh wanted yuh own plane too buh yuh couldn’t get though. Next time, nah. Boy, you real big, yes.

As you are well aware, I am new to being a Head of State and I met tons of problems caused by a dumb administration when I entered office. I suppose you, being in power for so long, must understand what a dumb administration is.  This is a crazy world we live in where the population is getting brighter and have access to Google so pulling wool over people’s eyes by politicians is not as easy as it once was. The world is now so crazy people of democratic countries are now demanding their politicians perform or else they would be voted out. I would like to find out how you became the exception to that rule. Maybe we could discuss this at the Summit thing but I think it’s better to perform than to find wool.

The US and Trinidad have always been allies but I understand your heart and one kidney is with Cuba. I suppose you are a big man and can make big man decisions. I don’t think Cuba is a threat to the region and my good friend Bill spoke highly of Cuban cigars. I just thought I would bring up Cuba since you seem to have a thing for the place.

I heard so much about the natural beauty of The Asa Wright Nature Centre, the Splendor of Carnival, The Wonders of The Pitch Lake, The Height of The Hyatt, The Floods of Port of Spain and The Truth About UDECOTT. Nice place you have there and I have one word of advice for you, if I may be so bold, and that is The Truth doesn’t always set you free. But I suppose you knew that long time.

Anyway, got to go now and stimulate the economy so…

…will chat later

Chris Brown Charged for Alledgely Assulting Rihanna

chris-brown-rihannaThe Los Angeles Police Department was reported to be investigating a Mr. Chris Brown for allegedly assaulting his girlfriend, Robyn Rihanna Fenty( Rihanna) on Sunday. Both Mr. Chris Brown, and Rihanna  did not attend the Grammy awards last night and Rihanna was scheduled to perform. Rihanna has sold over 10 million song downloads for 2008, more than any other artiste. I am not sure how many Chris Brown sold and really don’t care.

Hopefully, this is just a rumor and it never happened. Hopefully this was a piece of mischief propagated by a press desperate for news and nothing more. But suppose it isn’t a lie. I didn’t see the booking sheet for Brown but it is being reported he is out on $50,000 bail.

Wouldn’t this be tragic if it were true. Another man beating a woman and it doesn’t matter if it was a tiny slap or not. I think the world doesn’t need another woman-beating male hero and who can sing and dance and display tattoos on his arm to prove his machismo. I have no idea what either Chris Brown or Rihanna is like in real life but surely violence by a man against a woman, any woman is a sign of male weakenss and a dysfunctional male brain. Surely, the life of celebrities are stressful but excuses are always too easy to find. I also have no doubt the the counseling of the male can work but I feel public shaming, a don’t buy CDs by the prepetrator and a long jail term would be close to appropiate justice. On a more opmistic note, this incident may not be true but I can’t find any evidence it isn’t.