Some Women Would Rather go Naked


Dainty Kane

Dainty Kane would rather go naked

Some women would rather go naked than wear fur, eat KFC, or any formerly live creature because these human activities encourage cruelty to animals. Then there are the other women who would rather go naked for no real reason but yet there are those who never get naked under any conditions. I would suggest to all women if they have to go naked find a reason, it looks better on your résumé. The problem with the women who would rather go naked than encourage animal cruelty is that when they go naked people could miss the point. Yes, there would be quite a stir and people would be clicking photos like crazy at first but  after five minutes of nudity there is not much to see at the same angle and the point lost to boredom.  A clothed woman is more exciting than a constantly naked one but only if clothed scandalously in a short skirt. So nudity can make a strong point but like industrial pollution, it must not be done for long periods.

Khloe Kardashian would rather go naked

Khloe Kardashian would rather go naked

I am both an animal lover and a staunch supporter of well shaped, female nudity so I can identify both with the cause and the need. These PETA ads are not always met with enthusiasm and some even describe these PETA ads as soft porn – it could even be as hard as porn would get in some of the more religious countries. As I argued before,  nudity is an extreme tool used by PETA to create awareness of an extreme problem. We are a hard headed, selfish animal. Nudity is such a powerful tool it could even be used in political ads to win votes  saying “I would go naked if you vote for ___.

Stop The Bull

Stop The Bull

I heard somewhere that if all the insects in the world were to die there will be no life on the planet in 50 years. On the other hand, if human life were to cease, life on the planet will flourish in 50 years. I assume that would be due to the lack of the need for aluminum and fur. I think humans are self-centered which helped us survive and build so many polluting factories. Our self-made importance is good for survival of the human species but it has made mad and delusional men out of quite a few, the meat eaters and politicians, mainly. We, humans, have to approach the next few years with caution, being careful not to destroy our environment, which has been able to sustain our life and National Geographic so far. We must be careful not to assume we are the only living creatures that matter and the suffering and killing of animals for our needs somehow is not what we would want to promote as one of the best parts of being human. Man should be intelligent enough to know where the buck stops and how much clothes or cabbage a woman should wear to make a point.

Playmate Jayde Nicole Goes Veggie Dog

Playmate Jayde Nicole Goes Veggie Dog

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The Prime Minister Invites Press to Kiss His Donkey


Kiss-Ass-PostersThe Prime Minister of Trinidad and Tobago accused the media of writing bad things about his Government and he is right. The media must be more accommodating to his Government and write good things. For example, when Port of Spain was flooded again yesterday the media should have written how the boating industry is now firmly located in down town Port of Spain and say nothing about commuters stranded due to a boat shortage. When the murder toll reached 300 in July the media should have written about the fun trip the reporters had en route to the murder scene and the pleasant time they had  trying to forget the scene with Scotch and fresh coconut water. Why the press refuses to highlight the growth of the pine box industry remains a mystery to The Prime Minister.  When a man is shot dead for his Nissan Almera the media should write how the victim’s family is better off without the car since it was foreign-used and parts were hard to get. The media should not have written bad things about his latest fairy tale and instead thanked him for not reporting an act of treason since people, except Max, would have immediately stopped wining and go into depression with a tight belt. Sure there would have been more bloodshed but only  because people would have been throwing extra barbecues.

The Prime Minister is right and the way the media has been lambasting him and his Government is nothing short of the media failing to fall in love with the bigger picture – CEPEP, URP and his donkey. The Prime Minister would like to know what is wrong in testing residents of La Brea for cancer regularly, after the smelter is constructed. They won’t have to pay for testing and chemo would be free. Besides, every resident would be given 10 rolls of aluminum foil per year for life. He also wants to know what is so bad about UDECOTT and why the press hates concrete and Brian Lara. And what’s so bad in spending a billion dollars to host World Leaders who, thankfully, can’t even remember our Prime Minister’s name or where the hell is Trinidad and Tobago. Mostly, the Prime wants to know why the media hates animals and doesn’t want to kiss his donkey, like the rest of his cabinet affectionately and religiously does every day. But if the media finds the Prime Minster and his pet donkey unavailable due to his security detail being peeled off agin, then they can kiss any cabinet member; it’s the same thing.

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Plot to Prevent the Prime Minister’s Workout


guardian

I first read about the Prime Minister’s one-year old death threat on Jumbie’s Watch and thought Jumbie had some inside information about the plot. But then I realized it was the time zone thing and Jumbie knows many things before we do. While we are dreaming about a night in the Hyatt Penthouse with a perfect lingerie model, Jumbie would be fuming mad about what is going on in sweet TnT. But I am like Jumbie and cannot keep it inside no more.

It seems our Papa wants the best of both worlds; the world of a living hero and that of an almost dead one. Papa is the Prime Minister so he must be telling the truth about the death-threat because to tell such a lie in that position of trust and perfect character would mean to misbehave and wine on public office. Some might argue he is making up the death threat because his current popularity is that of a toadstool, but he is the Prime Minister and should never be confused for a toadstool.

Filmed in Trinidad and Tobago in 2006 it also stars Gabrielle Walcott in a minor role

Filmed in Trinidad and Tobago in 2006 it also stars Gabrielle Walcott in a minor role

A death threat is a serious thing and I am sure it is still being investigated by The Hon Joseph in between crime plans. Strangely, no one has been arrested even though the Papa claims he knows which group likes him the least. This brings back memories of July 27th 1990 a momentous event and nightmare  only Papa and Bas could understand.

Because of the advance warning by a Good Samaritan and lack of witnesses to the event, Papa was able to live to see Obama and Chavez steal his thunder in his own country. Citizens don’t want the stress of worrying about who would be the next leader and Papa is always happy to help. How the intelligence services in the country did not pick up the death threat and had to wait for someone to carry news to the woman Papa  literally falls asleep with should be a matter of great concern. It is also of great concern that National Security helicopters and scores of police Jeeps did not find the those Inglourious Basterds who denied Papa a proper workout that morning.

This is now the plot of my first novel but I would have to list it under FICTION.

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About Novel Spaces


novel-spaces

A regular visitor to this blog, Liane Spicer, not only has her own blog, Wordtryst, but is also a member of a new blog run by a team of published authors (novelist) called Novel Spaces. On their blog the authors of Novel Spaces describe themselves this way “We’re an eclectic group of authors bound by a singular passion: writing. If you love reading great stories from across the broad spectrum of tales to be told, then you’re definitely in the right space. Journey with us.” Based of this goal, Novel Spaces is the blog to read if you are interested in what goes on in the minds of successful authors and blogs.

The authors at Novel Spaces classify their writings in the following categories, erotic fiction, fantasy, science fiction, historical fiction, horror, romance and contemporary romance with a Caribbean flavor. Years ago I never bothered with categories for books until I discovered  one called Graphic Adult Picture Book.

I am not a writer but a follower of the craft. I loved Stephen King’s On Writing and also read several books on grammar which I was never able to comprehend. I find writing two paragraphs for a blog post difficult much less writing a novel with properly designed covers along with a plot. I always imagine authors as talented, mysterious people with colorful lives and Mac Books with keyboards cracked from being hit with vases thrown from every creative angle. I enjoy my imagination more than coming up with one and that is why I recommend Novel Spaces to everyone.

This is not a paid advertisment

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Who do I Look Like?


aka_lol imagines dodging bullets matrix-style

aka_lol imagines dodging bullets matrix-style

A man in the line to buy doubles was talking to all audiences and said about a year ago his partner get bumped off. It was a case of mistaken identity since his partner looked like a witness. This had me thinking; who do I look like. Sometimes I feel I look like a witness, not Jehovah, but a real witness. I might even look like ah doe fraid nobody and ah would run mih mouth. Sometimes I feel I look like a hero and even have illusions of dodging bullets Matrix style while sitting in traffic. Who I look like is not even the most worrying thing but who does the man standing next to me look like. Does he look like a witness? Is he a witness? This is Trinidad and Tobago where dying has less to do with KFC and doubles and more to do with being in the wrong place next to the right man.

Getting accidentally bumped off while buying doubles or entering a shop would not be the problem it is today if hit men were properly trained in target recognition. I think this is clearly a case of the criminal element, eager to get away, stooping low and giving crime a bad name. Local criminals have been hiring, cheaply, any and everybody who call themselves hit men just because they know a policeman with a gun to rent. A proper hit man practices shooting watermelons and other in-season fruits with special sniper rifles with uncanny precision for weeks before target-day and don’t just open fire in a bar, shooting everyone in sight while the real target sneaks out the back without paying. This is inefficient and not good for beer sales. I am not a hit man but I have seen The Day of The Jackal often enough to know our hit men are a big joke and light years away from being all that they could be. Come on people, crank it up a notch before we die laughing.

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Moving Clouds


clouds.augustine-trinidadAll clouds but no rain.  See the trees shake as the exposure go under. See the house move as the tripod is manhandled by the photographer. See the Pentax yawn at such a childish activity from a man struggling to make blog while the sun shines.

This is a brief interlude while I try to figure out what to post next. But I do know what to post next.

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iPhone 4G takes a Life


iphone-4gEngineers normally don’t commit suicide since they know how to live. Unfortunately, a young Chinese engineer at FoxConn, Apple’s Chinese iPhone manufacturer, committed suicide after a prototype of Apple’s 4G iPhone went missing. The engineer, Sun Danyong, was given 16 prototypes of Apple’s iPhone 4G to ship to Apple but could only account for 15 a few days later. It is alleged the young graduate engineer was severely roughed up by Foxconn security and felt so humiliated he decided to jump to his death from a 12-storey building to end the pain. Though Sun was not an Apple employee the public might say his blood is partly on Apple’s hands. FoxConn’s security chief was suspended without pay but is still alive.  Apple’s statement on the issue said “We require our suppliers to treat all workers with dignity and respect.” The statement did not specify if dignity and respect is required before, during, or after a 4G prototype goes missing in China.

I am almost sure both Apple and FoxConn believe the life of a young Chinese engineer is worth more than a 4G prototype, regardless of which version firmware is installed or competition on the horizon.

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Pentax K200D – Trinidad Photos


Trini Christmas

Just over two years ago trinidaddreamscape.net (the best damn photographer from Trinidad and Tobago and who understood why digital sucked) recommended I buy a Pentax f1.4 50mm prime lens and swore I wouldn’t regret it. Back then I had the Pentax *istDL DSLR, which I bought in 2006 with the 18-55mm kit lens. The 50mm f1.4 was going to be more than a step up, it was going to be a step in another direction. I don’t want to sound dramatic but it changed my life and that of my friends forever. Joke. But seriously, the lens is now like the American Express of photography, I never shoot without it. Since I had the lens I took several photos at a family wedding and impressed myself more than anyone. The hired photographer for the wedding, in my opinion, produced nothing to remember but that probably had little to do with the 18-200mm Canon lens he used.

bird-windowIf you read the paragraph above you would swear I have some stunning examples of the Pentax 50mm f1.4 to show but stunning is personal to the viewer- what might stun me may knock you senseless. Other than the hops bread photo, I have little I can publicly display from my f1.4.  I have also been shooting with my newer, cheaper Pentax 50-200mm zoom and it is also one I almost never leave home without because it is relatively small. I bought a Pentax K200D December last year which is a marginal step up from the  Pentax *istDL and I can only imagine some good people at some popular photo websites groaning on reading this.

hops_breadThis brings me to my new photo Album – Trinidad Random Shots. Most the shots were taken with the Pentax K200D (except for one) using mainly the 50mm f1.4 and the 50-200mm zoom. Some were taken yesterday (The rainbow shot) and I think the oldest might be December last year. There is nothing too fancy or too spectacular in this latest album and it is there as proof that photos can put you to sleep. I included basic EXIF data with each photo for those who live for the f-stop. With the exception of the Trinidad, and Tobago chocolate photos, I depended on the camera shake reduction since I paid for it. Everything could be better and my excuse for the rest of my life will always be I am learning.

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Trinidad and Tobago Government Running Scared – Finally


Boo

Government loses its claim to legitimacy when it fails to fulfill its obligations.

—Martin L. Gross
The Government Racket, 1992

So the DPP will decide if to charge Inshan Ishmael, a social activist and one of the organizers of the One Voice gathering, for staging a protest outside the Prime Minister’s residence last Sunday night. This was amazingly rapid response by the Police possibly because it involved the most loved Prime Minister this country ever had, Patrick Manning. I have no doubt that the Government wants to put a stop to any democratic protest in the country because democracy and the will of the people are a threat to the Government’s ability to stay in power and out of jail. Charging Inshan Ishmael will not solve any of the country’s problems but it will be a shabby attempt to solve a big ruling party problem; legitimacy.

The Government, through its worthless PR machinery, gives the impression that all protest against the Government is political. You see, it is political to protest the inability of the Government to curb crime, to build a smelter without even considering the benefits and real cost to the country, to chronically have poor health care served in a foreign language, drag racing on the roads at night, the non-functioning of CCTV cameras since the cameras never picked up any drag racing, interference in every independent democratic intuition including an independent but stupid senator, a less than intelligent president and the appointment of incompetent Ministers at nearly every level. I suppose that last one is rigid Government policy.

The latest PR ploy called the TEMPORARY freezing of salaries of Parliamentarians by the SRC isn’t fooling anybody, especially the Trade Unions who are going to be hit with a wage-freeze policy. The people won’t buy it because after years of squandering billions on a select few the Government cannot call for anything resembling a wage freeze without paying the ultimate price of defeat at the polls.  Added to all this is the lack of foreign exchange to maintain our heavily dependent foreign exchange lifestyle and Government’s squander mania. Constant small increases in the exchange rate will mean big increases in the cost of living. Try to freeze the country’s wages while this is happening, Mr.  Prime Minister. One Voice wasn’t a protest; it was the tip of only one iceberg. I guess you already know that.

Go ahead and arrest Inshan Ishmael and the all the protesters and see how much better the country will be. Go ahead and leave the Woodford square protesters alone. Go ahead and see if this is good for building a proper 2020 nation. When people say you and your Government don’t care, Mr. Prime Minister, they are not being political; they are telling you what they see and experience everyday.

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Port of Spain, We Have a Problem


600px-Apollo13-load_on_deck

Man first landed on the moon on July 20th, 1969 and it was the day the Earth stood still. But my favorite Apollo Mission was Apollo 13, because it starred Tom Hanks and was the best engineering movie ever made. It also gave rise to the quotation (or misquotation) “Huston, we have a problem.”  This quote has been used many times especially where I work since we, as engineers, have to say this to Huston at times but more recently to Beijing, which doesn’t have the same romantic impact. According to Wikipedia, Apollo 13 was considered a “successful failure” and I am sure all engineers could identify with this concept.

But what we are experiencing in our country today is no laughing matter and I know Normal Citizens in Trinidad and Tobago make “Huston, we have a problem” distress calls in their minds and in the same way.  Here is that typical Normal Citizen of Trinidad and Tobago distress call.

Normal Citizen: Hello, Port of Spain, we have a problem.

Mission Control: What is the problem, Citizen?

Normal Citizen: It’s PM PM, Sir, he seems to be malfunctioning again.

Mission Control: Tell me something new. What is it this time?

Normal Citizen: He is spewing venom all over the place.

Mission Control: I said, tell me something new. How bad is it this time?

Normal Citizen: Worst than ever, Sir. He is now talking about having compassion in a tone best suited to hate.

Mission Control: You don’t think he is compassionate?

Normal Citizen: No Sir, I don’t and I don’t think anybody thinks he is either.

Mission Control: Are they cheering him along?

Normal Citizen: Yes, Port of Spain, the people seem to also be spewing venom.

Mission Control: How did the people get there and are there any weed whackers in their vehicles?

Normal Citizen: They came by Maixs sir and a few came in Audis, BMWs and police bicycles. I can’t see any weed whackers but there are a few paint brushes. Can we contain the venom-leak, Sir? It now seems out of control and I am afraid.

Mission Control: Who is the venom aimed at?

Normal Citizen: Anyone who opposes him, anyone who thinks he is wasting the country’s money, anyone who thinks murder, robbery and rape are still crimes and the midget is one of his fangs. He is spewing venom on anyone who believes in democracy.

Mission Control: That is bad. Let me check the manual…Ok, there may be some good news.

Normal Citizen: What is it, Sir?

Mission Control: Well, he may blow a gasket and the only spares are available in Cuba.

Normal Citizen: Sir, I think we may have a bigger problem.

Mission Control: What now?

Normal Citizen: His followers are now spewing more venom than even he. They also don’t care about crime, wastage or democracy or the accumulation of water in the middle of freshly paved highways; they only care about following the venom of the leader. The followers are all over sir; it’s spreading like a deadly airborne virus.

Mission Control: Well, I always knew it would come to this.

Normal Citizen: Come to what, Sir?

Mission Control: We have to leave now and probably go to the moon. It is the only safe place.

Normal Citizen: But there is no water, electricity, smooth roads, functioning police service or independent senators without brains on the Moon.

Mission Control: Well, at least you won’t get home sick.

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Crime Template for Trinidad and Tobago


BagGunThe murder toll in Trinidad and Tobago today stands at around 300. At this rate, it is sad to say, we may cross the 600 mark by the end of the year because the new crime plan is being hatched. This high murder rate has desensitized us from understanding the effects of murder and it has also made the job of a crime reporter in Trinidad and Tobago boring due to the sameness of these crimes. Crime reporters, like the hundreds of health care professionals, undertakers, police officers, bystanders and citizens are now world class experts in bullet holes, cutlass chops and stabbings about body and could do with a change of scenery or Minister of National Security. However, the latter seems an impossiblility.

Since boredom is a popular cause of leaving a job I expect there will be a high turnover of crime reporters very soon, if it has not already started. To make life easier for future crime reporters, I decided to compile a list of popular phrases and sentences to include in any report of murder in the press. They can be considered as Crime Reporting templates or tasteless.  I apologize if the following sound funny at times but tragedy is usually funny to those who are still alive.

Some of these are actual media reports I modified. Hopefully this is not considered plagiarism and jeopardize my chances of serving on the Integrity Commission or as President in the future.

SAMPLE TRINIDAD AND TOBAGO CRIME TEMPLATES

  • He was popularly known as, “_____” and lived in the ­­­­­_______district. He was accustomed to dodging bullets since a boy and the reason he failed on this occasion is not known. No one is investigating.
  • As he opened the door the gunmen barged in and opened fire. He was hit several times about the body while his best friend and partner in crime escaped either on foot or via a gold color Nissan Almera with leather seats and a recently Amor All dashboard.
  • _____ was rushed to the ______ Hospital and later transferred to the Eric Williams Medical Sciences Complex where, like countless other victims with multiple bullet-hole wounds, he died since his options were limited.
  • Gunmen opened fire on each other yesterday morning almost killing three bystanders and injuring a CEPEP weed whacker. The CEPEP supervisor was disgusted at this latest assault on a defenseless grass cutting implement and announced bush cutting activity will be called off for tomorrow.  CEPEP workers are planning a massive protest since they won’t be paid for the lost day. The weed whacker is said to be resting comfortably in an undisclosed repair shop.
  • The murder of ______, 17, is being described as a “gang related” homicide, but he was not involved in any gang or other activities. His mother described him as a good boy who developed a passion for holding up people at gunpoint since he was 12. He had several cell phones in his possession, including a Blackberry Storm, which his mother described as having a sluggish touch-screen.
  • The man was identified as John “Docs”Doe, who lived at Block Eight, ______, but was killed in another block. He was described by police as a reputed gang leader  but police were puzzled as to the motive for his killing.
  • On Sunday, around, 10:53 pm, residents of ______ heard several gunshots, aka loud explosions, but did not venture outside to investigate since the streetlamps were shot to death two nights before. However, around 6.34 a.m. yesterday, an unidentified person found _____bullet-riddled (more than three bullet holes is considered riddled) body and contacted the police. The Officer who took the call was reported to have said “So what!”
  • ____ was found with multiple gunshot wounds about the body and lying in a pool of blood. ____ was due to give evidence as a witness in a murder trial due to start next week. Police are once again searching for a motive and the reason why the Commissioner’s tenure was extended.
  • According to police reports, around 7.30 on Friday night, ­­­_______ was riding his bicycle along ________ in Movant, on his way to a nearby shop, when he was approached by a gunman. The rest is history.
  • Police said around 10.47 a.m. yesterday, two armed men approached “Side Winder” at a nearby shop. “Side Winder” was shot twice in the head and several times about the body. He died because the bullets hit several of the right spots. The gunmen escaped and were later never seen again. A team of homicide detectives, including ASP ______ and Inspector ______, visited the scene and bought several items including two packs of Orchard Orange Juice and a Kiss bread. Investigations are also continuing.
  • Johnny “Garlic” Breads, 24, became this year’s six hundredth murder victim. Police reports state that “Garlic,” of _______, San Juan, was beaten to death with a bag of hard hops bread after he was accused of peddling 12-hole Crix to an unknown gang member who felt cheated and gassy.
  • 18-year-old _____“Bonkers” Khan, of______, Port-of-Spain, was shot to death at the corner of two streets in Port of Spain. The killing took place in full view of a CCTV camera and scores of citizens who, like the CCTV camera, saw nothing. According to relatives, Bonkers was liming with friends when a group of men approached. One slowly whipped out a big gun and shot_____ in the ____. He died as expected and on time.
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