Who do I Look Like?

aka_lol imagines dodging bullets matrix-style

aka_lol imagines dodging bullets matrix-style

A man in the line to buy doubles was talking to all audiences and said about a year ago his partner get bumped off. It was a case of mistaken identity since his partner looked like a witness. This had me thinking; who do I look like. Sometimes I feel I look like a witness, not Jehovah, but a real witness. I might even look like ah doe fraid nobody and ah would run mih mouth. Sometimes I feel I look like a hero and even have illusions of dodging bullets Matrix style while sitting in traffic. Who I look like is not even the most worrying thing but who does the man standing next to me look like. Does he look like a witness? Is he a witness? This is Trinidad and Tobago where dying has less to do with KFC and doubles and more to do with being in the wrong place next to the right man.

Getting accidentally bumped off while buying doubles or entering a shop would not be the problem it is today if hit men were properly trained in target recognition. I think this is clearly a case of the criminal element, eager to get away, stooping low and giving crime a bad name. Local criminals have been hiring, cheaply, any and everybody who call themselves hit men just because they know a policeman with a gun to rent. A proper hit man practices shooting watermelons and other in-season fruits with special sniper rifles with uncanny precision for weeks before target-day and don’t just open fire in a bar, shooting everyone in sight while the real target sneaks out the back without paying. This is inefficient and not good for beer sales. I am not a hit man but I have seen The Day of The Jackal often enough to know our hit men are a big joke and light years away from being all that they could be. Come on people, crank it up a notch before we die laughing.

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11 thoughts on “Who do I Look Like?

  1. If perchance you witness, or are witnessed witnessing, you may have to hide, run, or buy protection, and not the latex kind.

    Dodging bullets will be better by swerving and leaping and not by Matrix bending but the Matrix thing does look better.

    Dying laughing is not an option because with a cheap gun-for-hire at your head, you more likely will be crying, not to mention praying. You might even pray that the gun-for-hire will laugh.

    • Jumbie you speak many truths in one comment. I see nothing now, saw nothing in the past and will see nothing in the future. But the hit men don’t know that. Education is the key.

  2. you’ve just tainted my doubles buying/eating experience… have me looking over my shoulder…

    BTW as you mentioned it… how come those witnesses, Jehovah’s, dont gather by a doubles vendors to share the word of the lord… seems easier than hoping someone’s at home 😛

  3. LOL @ “look like a witness, not Jehovah, but a real witness.”

    Aka_lol you need a 1/2 TV show yes, instead of the hit men accidently bumping us off, your tv show will kill us with laughter first, dais the way to go!

  4. LOL! The truth eloquently spoken. Comedy noir.

    A friend of mine was robbed of his car etc. this week. Guns were in evidence but no shots were fired. These days we have to be thankful for small mercies. 😦

    • Criminals are determined to succeed and the gun swings things heavily in their favor. I don’t want to lament or boast but I know three people who were shot and a few more shot at. Naturally, I am beginning to reevaluate my acquaintances and friends 😉

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