There is no better way to listen to music – binaural or regular, Ottmar Liebert or other – than on a good headphone like a Bose Triport (around-ear) headphones though there is a risk of getting deaf after prolonged loud listening. Though the Bose Triport is a very efficient headphone, the deafness is due to the user, ignorant of how to get deaf while seeking joy through music, pumping high decibel sound levels through the headphones to the user’s ears everyday for many days. However, there is hardly that deaf-risk if the listener is using a Dell Desktop’s headphone jack since Dell is skimpy on headphone output levels, possibly to save us from ourselves rather than a design blunder.
“Binaural recording is a method of recording sound that uses a special microphone arrangement and is intended for replay using headphones. Dummy head recording is a specific method of capturing the audio, generally using a bust that includes pinnae (outer ears). Because each person’s pinnae are unique, and because the filtering they impose on sound directionality is learned by each person from early childhood, the use of pinnae during recording that are not the same as the ultimate listener may lead to perceptual confusion.” ~ Wikipedia
“Ottmar Liebert (born 1959) is a German-born composer and guitarist, born to a Chinese-German father and a Hungarian mother. As a child, he spent most of his time traveling Europe and Asia with his family. Ottmar leads an ensemble called Luna Negra (“Black Moon”), which has gained popularity performing as a touring band and recording music albums in a “Nouveau Flamenco” style.” ~ Wikipedia
Christmas morning in St. Augustine, Trinidad and Tobago - 2009
This is my 0ne thousand words for Christmas in Trinidad and Tobago.
I don’t know if this year will be different for Santa but for many years he has been discriminating when giving gifts. For years, Santa has been giving rich children things like laptops, Wii and Playstation 3, but he gives the poor ones imitation designer tee-shirts and one extra slice of ham in their hops only in times of an economic boom. Many times Santa completely avoids poor neighborhoods citing crime and his subjective opinion of goodness.
Once again, this year, the North American Aerospace Command (NORAD) is tracking Santa from the time he leaves the North Pole. I am not sure why NORAD wants to track Santa, since I doubt it would influence his bias towards the rich. NORAD probably wants to be sure Santa doesn’t create an international incident by dropping toys for English-speaking children with worded instructions.
Dear Sirs and Madams of this Government,
I can’t begin to tell you how much I am looking forward to paying a higher property tax. I and hundreds of thousands of other citizens, known as the majority, are thrilled at the thought of giving more money to the Government to use in any way the Prime Minister sees fit, including private jet, big flag, useless conferences, house drapes, the Australians, the Chinese and Mr. Hart’s salary. I don’t expect you to use any of this newly discovered money on sick children since you have proven over and over you have a big, big Hart.
I know you instructed your scarcely literate police officers to guard Parliament with batons and guns to ensure unarmed protesters don’t embarrass the Government more than it is already embarrassed. I hope these unpatriotic citizens learnt their lesson and will now put their proverbial tails between their proverbial legs and watch the show on TV next time.
Since I was a boy, I, like the majority of citizens who were unable to take a bribe because none was ever offered or just too honest, would delightfully drool at the thought of paying higher taxes to the Government. I am still not sure if I get the most excitement from paying a higher existing tax or paying a new tax. That is such a toss up. I like paying taxes so much that I sometimes throw my money down a fast running drain during the flood season to simulate the same effect. I once threw a hundred dollar bill in a stagnant drain near my home and after a year it remained just where I left it except it turned green – that’s probably a sign of the future devaluation of our money – blue to green. I am also just as excited about the inevitable devaluation due to the expenditure on boats and drapes, as I am about the taxes. I only wish you could see how much my spine is tingling right now just thinking about it.
I thank you, my Government, for making my boyhood dream a reality, and though I might be poorer because of more and new taxes, I feel richer because I know whose pockets the taxes will go into.
Delightly and painfully yours,
aka_lol – a Tax Lover
Tax Arrest – Trinidad Express
Tax Arrest – Cops Rain Blows on Union Membes – Trinidad Guardian
Is Chubby not a well-known soft drink brand and its bottle shape also very well-known by children and adults all over Trinidad and Tobago? Is Tire Shine a soft drink intended for children? If not, then why is this no-name brand of Tire Shine also using a similar bottle to Chubby that even a bright child or literate adult might easily mistake for a Chubby Cream Soda? To make matters worse, there are no contact information or ingredients listed on the Tire Shine bottle so if a child accidentally drinks some Tire Shine the doctors would only be guessing how to treat the child. The bottler of this no-name brand of Tire Shine appears to operate as if they will never be discovered and held accountable.The sellers are even more culpable but just as safe.
From what I understand, you can get this Chubby-style Tire Shine from many automotive accessory stores in Trinidad, and it was probably bottled in Chubby bottles to help the Tire Shine bottlers maximize their profits. I doubt the Tire Shine bottlers really care if children are harmed by a businessman’s quest for wealth because getting wealthy in Trinidad and Tobago is priority number one. I have no idea if the OHS Act in Trinidad and Tobago covers household chemicals and food but Act or no Act, somebody needs a big stick across their back for doing this crap.
Kevin Baldeosingh recommended a couple of weeks ago that we breathe slower to reduce the rate of carbon dioxide emissions and as much as I believe there is a sizable hole in the ozone layer, I would prefer to breath with my usual,sexy, heavy breath. I would also recommend Tiger Woods be kept away from that hole since it doesn’t need any more screwing up.
I don’t know what our environmentally-friendly Prime Minister will take to Copenhagen to the climate conference, but I am sure nobody will care, unless he agrees to buy more and better Danish cookies for his people. The point of this blog post is not to point out the evils of bulldozing hundreds of acres of lush, green forest in Trinidad to build an aluminum smelter but to point out that Danish Butter Cookies probably outsells the national cracker, Crix, and therefore, has the potential to drain the country’s foreign exchange reserves while clogging up the arteries of local cookie eaters. Danish Butter Cookies are not a problem in Copenhagen since a large percentage of its residents uses bicycles and doesn’t believe in god. We have the opposite problem in Trinidad and Tobago where to get to anywhere we jump in a car and pray for no traffic.
If world leaders are serious about saving their people and reducing carbon dioxide emissions, I would recommend these leaders find out what makes their people want to have sex without condoms and overeat cookies, and put a stop to the practice. Sex, or at least good sex without condoms, and cookie eating was always bad for the planet but only now we know why.
After hearing the language of golf, it is not surprising that Tiger Woods probably felt a little horny after a day on the field. Golf to the uninitiated may look like a dead man’s sport but it is anything but. It is a game for gentlemen and women who have moved up the social ladder so can no longer get turned on using crude and direct sexual statements in public. The upper and better people are still human and need sex as much as the lower ones and sometimes in kinkier ways because they can afford it. Golf is really a game of sex and just by looking at the positions the female adopts during the game makes me feel it should be removed from public TV along with women’s beach volleyball and bikini mud wresteling. Let’s keep TV clean.
Here is a joke circulating on the Internet which puts golf in its rightful place.
Why Golf is a Horny Game:
1. Look at the size of his putter.
2. Oh, dang, my shaft’s all bent.
3. You really whacked the hell out of that sucker.
4. After 18 holes I can barely walk.
5. My hands are so sweaty I can’t get a good grip.
6. Lift your head and spread your legs.
7. You have a nice stroke, but your follow through leaves a lot to be desired.
8. Just turn your back and drop it.
9. Hold up. I’ve got to wash my balls.
10. Damn, I missed the hole again.
Before it was alleged that Tiger Woods had one or many affairs with women while he was married he was considered a stud and an amazing golfer. Sponsors flocked at his door, eager for a piece of the action and Tiger was also not adverse to action. He made millions from the likes of Nike, Gatorade and Tag Heuer. I remember seeing a Tag Heuer ad featuring Tiger Woods and being a Tiger Woods wannabe, rushed out to get one but ended up with something in my price range; a discounted Timex.
Women idolized Tiger Woods because he represented cool and rich, the two things women aspire in men more than common sense. But all good things eventually hit a tree and a fire hydrant in the early hours of the morning and Tiger was no exception. This tree-and-fire-hydrant-hitting incident by Tiger Woods caused people to speculate that it looked like serious woman trouble. Unable to breaks any longer, Tiger finally admitted he transgressed but did not give the details the press and other detractors were looking for. Now there are rumors that Tiger performed some of his transgressions for two and half years with a cocktail waitress which is not an uncommon dream amongst normal men. These rumors only created more admirers in the form of married and unmarried men as they too wanted to be like Tiger without getting the wood. The rumors also alleged that Mr. Woods had many other affairs which had girlfriends and wives taking a more self righteous look at the situation and they all wished Tiger dead.
This situation is unfortunate as nobody stopped to ask Tiger if he found women as exciting as hitting a hole-in-one. Nobody stopped to ask Tiger if he was a normal, unhappy man who found transgression a path to happiness and a necessary part of being found irresistibly sexy by sexy women. Nobody stopped to ask the priest if he liked children or the occasional nun either. I don’t know if Tiger Woods will lose sponsorship from the other self righteous set of people in the world, corporations, but I will not buy any products made by companies that drop Tiger Woods because there is always a deeper reason for transgressing than being a rich, famous, sexy man nicknamed Woods.
The visible signs of success in Trinidad and Tobago used to be having a big foreign-used car, a thin cell phone and a plane ticket to Miami, but the list just got longer with the addition of the pressure washer. Almost every household in Trinidad and Tobago now boast a pressure washer with nosy neighbors peeping into yards to see how much moss still resides in their neighbors’ driveways. Most citizens in Trinidad and Tobago consider household moss a serious condition and to some, a condition as serious as Government people awarding Government contracts to family members. Now, when neighbors meet the conversations always start with the new property tax but ends up with a discussion about how much PSI they get from their pressure washers and whether it is gas or electric from Bagwansingh’s. Neighbors with a gas pressure washer feel they have the advantage over those neighbors owning the electric variety since gas makes more impressive noises than the Blimp and is just as useful in combating crime.
Pressure washers, especially gas washers, are as noisy as lawn mowers and it takes roughly eight hours to pressure wash one driveway and send four neighbors insane. Pressure washers are like cell phones and once you use it you are hooked – it’s like driveway porn. If it were possible for WASA to be disturbed I am sure they would be concerned by the popularity of the pressure washer and the way it uses water without sending up customers’ water bills. Unfortunately, WASA is yet to discover that meters are important in preventing whole day pressure washing episodes which is threatening to become a serious drain on the nation’s water like the Government is on the treasury. When people buy and use air conditioning, they pay T&TEC for the privilege, but when people pressure wash, only the moss and taxpayers pay.
When it comes to giving gifts the concept of it is the thought that counts is crap. That idea has outlived its usefulness since the Trojans and in today’s materialistic world, money is much better than making love. Thoughts come easy and to some, a little too easy that is why when it comes to giving, nobody really cares what you think. But even with money and Amazon reviews, choosing the right gift can be a problem and it’s still too easy to buy expensive junk because China commissions one coal-fired power station every week to supply electricity to factories making Christmas gifts for the world. Since advice on gift buying at Christmas time is as useful as a smashed car windscreen, I decided to add my advice to the list.
FOR YOUR MAN
For the man who has everything including an ornamental girlfriend or wife, I would recommend the Leica S-System’s Interchangeable Lens Camera with 3 inch LCD with Sapphire LCD Cover Glass and Platinum Service Package. If your man thinks he is serious about photography and has outgrown making sex tapes, then the Leica S2, which can be pre-ordered at Amazon for US$27, 995 plus shipping, is the gift to get. Naturally, you will have to order a lens or lenses separately and prices range from around US$5,000 to God knows how much. Always remember, if you give a Leica S2 with lens, hopefully you won’t have to give much else until Boxing Day at night.
FOR YOUR WOMAN
For the Woman who is anxious to please you instead of cook and clean, there is not much to think about. Instead of giving the woman in your life a reason to chase after you with a golf club in the wee hours of the morning because you transgressed with a cocktail waitress, I recommend something that can be used to prevent, or minimize further transgressions – the Victoria Secret Sexy Little Things® NEW! Lace-up thong. It looks like, and sells for next to nothing so you will not regret it as it is also easy to wrap and stuff in your back pocket in cases of emergency.
Economist Mary King wrote in the Trinidad and Tobago Express on November 30th 2009 “In this recession or whatever, the Government has not reduced its spending to fall in line with its income. Its income from the energy sector was TT$25.7 billion in 2007-2008, TT$11.7 billion in 2008-2009 and is expected to be TT$7.7 billion in 2009-2010.” That is a pay-cut of over 66.667%. She went on to explain that the Government is borrowing TT$ 13 billion to continue its spending habits on, I assume, things like flagpoles, scholarships for the boys and girls and The Chinese.
I am no economist or doubles man but the situation looks bleak and since the Government is more into saying things like “the sky is not falling,” “no Private Jet at this time, check me back after CHOGM,” “So what,” “we will not go into a recession. The check clear yet?” and “One more Baily bridge, please” I am not hopeful for the country past Ole Years Day. This shortfall of taxes from its main foreign exchange earner along with Ministers who don’t know their butt from their PM, indicates that the TT dollar might soon be worth less, if not worthless. Hops bread will be the new Miami condo.
With the recent revelations about the handing out of scholarships as if the money belonged to a political party, I would say somebody or bodies should be jailed for the rest of their natural life or lives. People are fed up of the incompetence, arrogance, squandermania, favoritism and spitefulness of this Government to the point where people are now smiling less coherently.
If the price of oil, gas, urea, ammonia and methanol don’t go up substantially and very soon, we will shortly be seeing a Trinidad and Tobago that resembles Curepe Junction on a Saturday morning; hookers and no police and all.