Drone Fetes Trinidad Style


short shorts

short shorts

Ask any Pakistani where is a good place to put a drone and the last place they would come up with would be a cooler fete in south Trinidad. But since most fete promoters are not genuine Pakistanis, a drone was employed to take aerial shots of one such fete. As luck would have it, this drone, probably dropping low to get a better view of a woman with nearly no top or shorts or both, lost control and struck a patron on his head causing a several-stitch type injury. However, eyewitnesses said that it was some stupid patrons who started to pelt the drone, possibly thinking it was from the Gary Griffith future crime plan. which caused the crash. Another unsubstantiated report says the drone had cheap batteries which failed when called on to perform.

Crash or no crash, the future of both policing and fete promotion lies on the wings of drones. Drones will be as common as political hot air and just like a new Jack Warner walk about, it will go unnoticed. Future fetes will be streamed live via an unauthorized drones swooping low and making privacy a thing of the past. The shootouts of the future between rival gangs or gangs and police may take the form of a drone war and drive by shootings will be replaced by fly by ones. But right now, everything is up in the air.

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Saying a Prayer for The National Week of Prayer in Trinidad and Tobago


Praying_mantis_indiaThe prayers of the people of Trinidad and Tobago are working and as proof of this the head of the IRO said things could have been worse. What more proof do we need. Because of this revelation I would like support the IRO and Government of this semi-blessed land of Trinidad and Tobago and urge people to pray, not just more, but better. People should now pray 24/7 rather than at bedtime or during a hold up.  A newspaper reported the Prime Minister saying “Pray in whatever way you know. When you pray from the heart, God listens.” Which probably explains the high murder rate and confiscated cans of local orange juice.

I am thankful that the error in my praying has been identified and my prayers will now be heartfelt and focused. I will pray that all political parties be exorcised of drug smugglers, money launderers, bribe payers, bribe takers, pimps, wife beaters, child abusers, the power hungry and those dotish people who think fiction is fact. I will pray that no drugs exported from this country ever be be intercepted. I pray that nobody from our land is extradited to the US to face drug smuggling charges but instead be kept in this murderous and treacherous land called Trinidad and Tobago to face the righteous music and curry duck dished out by our AG and friends.I know my prayers will be acted on by the One who normally listens since this time the prayers would be from the heart and not the intestine as in previous cases. My bad.

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Fishing for Orange Juice in Trinidad and Tobago


Trinidad Orange Juice - a Trinidad and Tobago Icon

Trinidad Orange Juice – a Trinidad and Tobago Icon

Ever since it was discovered in the US that 700 cans of Trinidad orange juice had cocaine hidden inside, the citizens and well wishers of Trinidad and Tobago became anxious and with baited breath are still waiting to know who the true exporter of this juice really is. Surely this must be the work of the mysterious and elusive Mr. Big.  Could this be the moment we have been waiting for donkey’s years?  Mr Big is the mythical and probably real figure who hides in plain sight among the commoners and dignitaries alike.He is the local drug kingpin with powers that would be the envy of any politician or leader. In fact legend says he is, and has always been, the real ruler of the land for countless years.  Mr. Big is the local Keyser Söze.

Some say he started with bags but others say foreign used cars or maybe scotch. Nobody really knows. With things going a little astray overseas recently, the hidden ruler and master of the local drug world is calling on all his politician friends on all sides, to defend him against the foreign, evil oppressors who find his juice in poor taste.  The population is skeptical that Big would ever be caught and identity ever known because of his connections in high places. Naturally, most feel the manufacturer of the juice is not the exporter of the coke and the one who will be charged might be a headless sardine in the cesspit of the local drug trade.

I think it was in very poor taste that the exporter would risk tarnishing the image of a product that is iconic to Trinidad and Tobago and loved by all. As a country, we should stand up against those who want to get rich regardless who or which country they destroy on the way. And if for no other reason Big or Sardine make ah jail it should be for tarnishing the image of the nation for a few big cars and rolly polly women.

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Chasing Obama


“Whether it’s from 35,000 feet aboard Air Force One or in a motorcade through the streets of Manhattan, Reuters White House photographer Jason Reed offers a view from behind the tinted windows of Obama‘s 2012 Presidential campaign.” ~ Reuters TV

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Trinidad and Tobago – 50 Years of Running Thing


Trinidad and Tobago – 50 Years of Running Thing

Since we are a independent nation we are free to choose either Nike, Puma, Adidas, Ascis, New Balance, Saucony, Reebok, Brooks or Hanwag as our national running shoe.  What better way to celebrate 50 years of Independence – 50 years of running thing. In fact, we have become a nation so taken up with running our own affairs our  National Watch Words have unofficially become “Run Something Nah.”

50 years of independence also means making our own living, making our own decisions, importing our own food and drugs and electing our own kings and queens to govern us in ways no foreigner can ever govern. We have been making our own laws and selectively enforcing them in ways our various governors and cabals see fit. We are a people united by sports, floods, fashion and sometimes even the odd sex tape but divided by oppressor selection. We reportedly have more freedom than the average democratic country – we have countless radio stations, and a few TV stations where announcers can feign intelligence by using any foreign accent they see fit. We have several newspapers with some good writers and several local blogs that are free to criticize and spell in either British or American English without police or political interference. After 50 years of independence we can safely say we still have some of our own oil and gas left,  bulldoze our own land, make our own floods, bribe our own people, and spill our own blood on both our own roads and tracks behind some houses where loud explosions are normally heard. We are independent enough to let murderers get away with murder and  big boys get away with our money. 50 years of independence means the cabals can favor who they want and call it fair-play. I am so happy we are so independent.

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Avocado Thief – A New Trend


Avocado Thief trending - 2011-10-22

Avocado Thief trending - 2011-10-22

I thought I was seeing things but I was not. Trending yesterday on Yahoo! USA was Avocado Thief. Yep, Avocado Thief. At first I thought a local news story went viral – the news story about our local zaboca farmer, fed up of thieves, who claimed to have intentionally poisoned over 200 zabocas which were stolen and supposedly made its way to the markets – but it was not. It was, according to the Los Angeles Times, a story about “An admitted avocado thief in north San Diego County has been ordered to stay away from any groves bearing the popular fruit and prohibited from possessing more than 10 avocados at a time.”

What-ah-thing, I thought. Avocados, a.k.a Zabocas, seem to be the new gold of the North-western Hemisphere. Soon people will no longer hold up banks because banks tend to get very unstable due to internal greed. Robbers will soon storm zaboca estates while brandishing machine guns and 40-foot refrigerated containers. It will only be a matter of time before cargo trains and ships carrying tons of zabocas are hijacked by ruthless zaboca gangs. Cars with zabocas in the back seat or trunks will be broken into and the zabocas carted away. Laptops and iPads will be safe. Shortly there will emerge a Zaboca Godfather and a bloody zaboca turf war will give the law enforcers a new nightmare. Zaboca insurance will rise to unheard of and obscene levels. I cringe at the thought since me and my tree will no doubt be included in that turf and both will become unisurable.

Maybe our local judiciary will follow the American judge but I suggest 4 instead of 10 zabocas. I want to also recommend police conduct roadblocks and interrogate anyone who is found with 4 or more zabocas in their possession. The State of Emergency should be used to make a dent in the lucrative zaboca stealing cartel. Nip it in the bud, I say. If Kamla, Jack, Anand, Prakash, and Hubert really care about the people they should spare no effort in making the owning of a zaboca tree a source of pride and not like many Government projects, a source of income for thieves.

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11/22/63: A Novel – Stephen King – A Slow-Riser


One of life’s major lessons is that we should never decide to pre-order a book by its cover alone but also by its synopsis, author, title, size, and weight. It is the combination of these factors and my juvenile fan mentality which caused me to shell out US$19.98 from my credit card to per-order Stephen King‘s latest novel that doesn’t seem to be doing too well on Amazon’s Bestseller list – it is at # 72 and slowly rising.

I am not sure why it’s so low but King’s last novel, Full Dark, No Stars, was amazing. It is possible that people are turned off by the time-travel theme of 11/22/63 or ignorance of just who was this J.F.K guy anyway. With neutrinos allegedly now traveling at speeds that can make time travel possible, I expected more readers to join this bandwagon. Possibly the size and weight of the book- 960 pages and weighing over 3 pounds in hardcover – which is keeping the weak but literate away.

People love to hold their paper securely but paper or not, thick things are always a challenge to hold for most with average size hands. With thickness in mind, 11.22.63 will also be available in that light-weight format known as Kindle for US$17.12 which is a refreshingly lower price than the hardcover version. Thankfully, the Full Dark, No Stars Kindle fiasco was not repeated. I choose paper over Kindle since Kindle books are not as lendable as paper and also cannot be sold in a garage sale when in a though financial bind. 11.22.63 will be released on 11.08.11.

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Marketing Synopsis taken form stephenking.com:

On November 22, 1963, three shots rang out in Dallas, President Kennedy died, and the world changed forever.

If you had the chance to change the course of history, would you?

Would the consequences be worth it?

Jake Epping is a thirty-five-year-old high school English teacher in Lisbon Falls, Maine, who makes extra money teaching adults in the GED program. He receives an essay from one of the students—a gruesome, harrowing first person story about the night 50 years ago when Harry Dunning’s father came home and killed his mother, his sister, and his brother with a hammer. Harry escaped with a smashed leg, as evidenced by his crooked walk.

Not much later, Jake’s friend Al, who runs the local diner, divulges a secret: his storeroom is a portal to 1958. He enlists Jake on an insane—and insanely possible—mission to try to prevent the Kennedy assassination. So begins Jake’s new life as George Amberson and his new world of Elvis and JFK, of big American cars and sock hops, of a troubled loner named Lee Harvey Oswald and a beautiful high school librarian named Sadie Dunhill, who becomes the love of Jake’s life—a life that transgresses all the normal rules of time.

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Steve Jobs 1955 – 2011


“No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don’t want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because death is very likely the single best invention of life. It is life’s change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new.”
Steve Jobs -Stanford University commencement speech, 2005

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JLo – Behind the Sexy


JLo - closeup

JLo, aka Jennifer Lynn Lopez, according to Wikipedia and my memory, is an American singer, actress, dancer, television producer, television personality, fashion designer, a mother, a perfume, Mark Anthony’s soon-to-be ex wife and still a sex symbol. I use the word still because nobody remains a sex symbol all their life but because JLo is only 42 years old, she may have a few years of  mass-appeal sexiness in her yet as silicon technology and Madonna make enormous strides.

Like any multitalented sex symbols, JLo is loved by many men and hated by nearly as many women who think she is not only overrated but also one of the key females whose shapely image enters the mind of their male companion during sex and waking hours.

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I am not sure why this is called a catsuit since I have never seen a cat in these suits.

JLo in a catsuit

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JLo in a sexy trademark pose

JLo - sexy trademark pose

JLo - a recent shot

JLo cannot be left behind

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Sexy Cheerleaders Steal Show


2008 in eastern China's Zhejiang province. AFP PHOTO/Frederic J. BROWN (Photo credit should read FREDERIC J. BROWN/AFP/Getty Images)

By a strong display of cheerleading sexiness, China is proving to the world that it is up to the task of being the biggest and baddest superpower after the United States gives up the mantle for economic reasons. The ability of a country to produce super cheerleaders is a major way of displaying world supremacy and China, after some false starts, has triumphed.

Like sexy girls wearing short skirts in an office or short shorts in a carwash, sexy cheerleaders can, without any effort, raise a man’s eyebrow and other vital body parts. However, too much sexiness is not always a good thing as it can lead to distraction of  the competing teams, spectators and even photographers. At the recent Guangzhou Asian Games, the cheerleaders got more media attention than the games but who is really complaining. It is now well known that due to the sexiness of the Chinese cheerleaders, many men didn’t even remember who played and many more had no recollection of  what sporting event they attended.  They only remembered the cheerleaders, and that is male biology at its best.

Chinese Cheerleaders

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Finding Mr. Big in Trinidad and Tobago


The real Mr. Big

It was a morning like any other for Mr. Big. He woke up, stretched, yawned, and squeezed his flannel balls while trying to remember the names of the women in the his bed. He was bored and even the view overlooking the sea from his mansion on the cliff, the easy availability of shapely women, his golden toilet bowl or the State of Emergency didn’t excite him any more. Life was a bit too easy he thought with foreign exchange flowing into holes in his back yard like water from a busted water main.  He was even running out of backyard space just like the Central Bank was running out of foreign exchange.

Mr. Big checks out the headlines of a daily newspaper

Mr. Big checks out the headline of a daily newspaper

Mr. Big went to the kitchen and was happy to see the newspaper on the kitchen counter. He poured himself his morning fix of freshly ground and brewed Colombian Coffee and started to read. He chuckled as he saw again that several people, including key politicians knew who Mr. Big was but somehow they never managed to call his name in public or say it to the police. Of course, they wouldn’t call his name as they were on his payroll even if not directly. What was more important to Big was that the politicians knew who was in charge. Mr. Big had so many people from all walks of life on his payroll, he had to use a computerized payroll system and hired some honest accountants to manage it.

Mr. Big was just like God – he was everywhere but yet never seen, but if you closed your eyes long enough and said his name over, and over you might even see his image on a bolt of cloth, a brown paper bag or a foreign-used car engine. Sometimes Mr. Big wondered if he was real or a figment of the imagination of a nation that preferred to buy pirate DVDs than a book. He often speculated why people thought he was so powerful and yet local. The inability of the authorities to even come close to capturing him made him feel like a small Big. Surely, Mr. Big thought, if he was that big and powerful and notorious, and for so long the Almighty Americans would nab him, just as they did to a certain ruthless terrorist in a certain ruthless country. Some even say Big’s  real name is Keyser Soze. “WTF!” Big would say every time he heard this.  “The Usual Suspects!” he would add before rolling on the floor with laughter.

“The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he did not exist. And like that… he is gone.” ~ The Usual Suspects

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Nicole Scherzinger – Right There


This video was posted by Captain Walker on the popular  blog Jumbie’s Watch and I have to admit it’s a good combination of wine, women and song. For those who find she looks familiar, Nicole Scherzinger is the former lead singer of the all-girl group called The Pussycat Dolls Nicole Scherzinger looks great and can dance in a manner that encourages men to want more. Some say she is rather tame compared to women in Trinidad on Carnival days but I will let you be the judge.

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Coca-Cola Around the World – Part 1


Coca-Cola is the universal word of planet Earth. It is even more universal than the words “no” or “WD40.” In fact Coca-Cola has proven to be more sought-after than WD40, duct tape or political power. If you land in a strange country where a different language is spoken and afraid of being detained because you lost your passport, just say Coca-Cola -not coke- and the chances are great the immigration officials will think you come in peace and are from this planet. Coca-Cola has become such an important part of the life of humans the first words of a child is usually “mama” and  “dada” closely followed by “Coke ” then “KFC.” There is nothing wrong with being attached to a commercial product even though it contains mainly sugar and water since to be commercial is to be human.

India

Slovenia

Ireland

U.K

Statue of Dr. John Pemberton,inventor of Coca-Cola, outside the Coca-Cola Museum in Atlanta


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Foreign-Used Car Buyer’s Guide – 2011 – Trinidad and Tobago


Don't let this happen to you

Since the recent disastrous 9.0 earthquake in Japan which triggered a Tsunami and then the Fukushima nuclear reactor disaster I am concerned about the effects these will have on Trinidad and Tobago. What I am more concerned about is the leaking radiation from the Fukushima power plant than the disruption in supply of Japanese made products as the world is worried where the Fukushima radiation will end up next. It may end up in cans of tuna or worse, foreign used cars in Trinidad and Tobago. This might sound like fear mongering but Trinidad and Tobago is a country where the unscrupulous is alive and well. It is a country where for years, I am told, the population was sold kangaroo meat and told it was goat. I am even more concerned when I think about the sleazy characters who sell foreign-used cars in this country. Don’t be surprised that you get up one night to see your brand new foreign-used Nissan or Toyota glowing in the dark like a working T&TEC streetlight.

giga counter from Amazon

With radiation on the mind of this blogger, I will recommend to readers they invest in a radiation detector from Amazon to take the guesswork away from the dealer. Radiation detectors might seem expensive but compared to the gene mutation that may make you a super zero instead of a super hero, it is more that worth the US$400 plus taxes.

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