Pastor Stewart is one of the funniest bits of local or even foreign humor in my opinion. With over 1.5 million views on Youtube, I am not alone. So while we wait for the Partnership to move mountains or even tiny molehills to make people happy, the diversification started without much fanfare from the powers that be – I Am Santana – The Movie – now showing at a T&T IMAX Near You
I am Santana - The Movie
Most people are not afraid to get scared and some even will pay money to do so. With all the recent talk about the new movie, Paranormal Activity 2 and how people are jumping several times and several inches during the movie, I decided to make a list of some of the movies, I found scary. Scary doesn’t always mean jumping at every bang or appearance of an ugly face, but it means being afraid to sleep with lights off at night for weeks or months after viewing.
Some of the best movies ever made are scary movies, but you will never find most of them being nominated for, much less winning any mainstream awards. Maybe the movie world still think boring an audience into a coma is art. I know people who went to see scary movies due to office peer pressure and faked bravery by sitting with their eyes closed or looking at the vibrating head of the person in front of them for the entire movie. Those people are known as wimps and should be exposed for what they are. I like scary movies because it takes my mind away from the scary parts of daily life. Things like slow moving traffic in the Beetham, the price of tomatoes, or seeing a rapidly aging Colm Imbert on TV.
I made a poll to select the scariest movies ever made, the results of which will be used for nothing in particular except fun.
Devil is the first first in a series of movies called the Night Chronicles. M. Night Shyamalan is the brains behind this endeavor which will have both its loyal friendlies and hostiles. Devil is directed by John Erick Dowdle and written by Brian Nelson. The story comes from The Mind of M. Night Shyamalan who, according to recent reports, is being laughed at during the showing of the Devil trailers on the appearance of that statement. I assume this laughing is an attempt to ridicule Shyamalan for reasons that might be trendy. Maybe people are laughing because they feel his film making abilities has declined steadily since Sixth Sense. I don’t know about that but Shyamalan’s movies have be making millions ever since and his recent “failure,” The Last Airbender which has grossed US$290,000,000 worldwide so far (DVD sales not added). Airbender cost US$150,000,000 to make plus US$130,000,000 to market which is hefty by any standards. On the other hand, Nicholas Cage’s Sorcerer’s Apprentice cost Disney US$160,000,000 to make and and maybe more than half of that to market but has only managed US$200,000,000 worldwide. I am not sure how accurate budget figures are for movies as the public pronouncements about movie budgets are used as a clever marketing tool to woo dollar-centered audiences. What it seems is that Shyamalan is also able to generate large revenues from a loyal negative following and in the world of celebrities, a good negative makes as much money or even more than the typical, boring positives alone.
The mini-series, Bollywood Hero was not bad and I will probably look at it again a few months. However, I came across this YouTube which was obviously a promotion for the series in the US. Not a bad idea. Planned spontaneity can be an excellent marketing tool. Bollywood Hero, a three-part mini-series, premiered last year in the United States on a channel called IFC but I only saw it this year on something called ten-dollar DVD. Bollywood Hero was entertaining with some good laughs and songs. The mini-series was aimed at US or Western audiences and was filmed almost entirely in India. The goofy looking but likable American comedian Chris Kattan is an unlikely Bollywood Hero and starred as himself in the mini-series which is also filled with the expected Bollywood drama and two uncommonly beautiful beauties, former Miss India-Universe, Neha Dhupia, and former Miss India-USA, Pooja Kumar (पूजा कुमार). Bollywood Hero is obviously pleasant on the male eyes.
Pooja Kumar
Neha Dhupia
Chris Kattan, Pooja Kumar and Neha Dhupia at event of Bollywood Hero
3D movies are the latest craze to hit the planet with nearly every new, big-budget, special effect movie like Avatar, Toy Story 3 and The Last Airbender hitting the screens in this not so new, lifelike format. Audiences have been lapping up 3D offerings and only a few have been complaining of headaches and nausea while wearing those obnoxious, reusable, germ-filled 3D glasses that smell like an old hotdog. 3D is now available in your home but only if you have inherited a fortune or was into government corruption. Every component needed to view 3D movies at home such as 3D Blu-Ray players, 3D-flat screen TVs and battery operated 3D glasses appeared to be priced to cause permanent poverty but prices are expected to come down as the 3D industry milk those impatient early adopters dry. Recently, the World Cup was shown in the US on a pay-per-view channel in 3D and more 3D channels are planned.
What the industry has been silently active about is what I consider the best use of 3D technology so far and that is 3D porn. 3D makes the images on the screen come to life as the brain is tricked into believing things are in one’s lap. What could be better to propel the porn movie industry than a lap dance on the screen that sends one’s pulse rate from resting to unsafe in one second? 3D technology was meant to make people happier so it is only a matter of time before the entire adult industry goes from boringly flat to nicely protruding.
I don’t know if there will be any parties to celebrate the successful hounding out of office and into the dog house of the incompetent and dotish UDeCOTT Board, but I hope so. That is the public’s sentiment and now that the proverbial blood has started to spill, citizens have become sharks and want to bite a few more asses. I have to admit the firing of the UDeCOTT Board was necessary since in the public’s eye they appear to be a part of a diabolical scheme to siphon public money from hospital beds and big to mid-size businessmen’s swimming pools into White Elephants and probably even a church here and over there. The public could be wrong but they could also be right.
The plot is unfolding like a movie where the bad guy is cornered by the handsome and bleeding good guy who suffered years of horrendous torture by the bad guy. Now, in the bad one’s last desperate move to survive, he pushes his loyal minions to their death in front of him as he huddles in a corner of a remote church, awaiting his inevitable, cruel and wajang fate that even a seer woman could see coming.
But the villain’s demise is not yet sealed as he is loved too bad by those who believe he holds the secret to their prosperity in the form of pay-for-little-work and overpriced contracts to sweep a little drain here and there. These countless, loyal minions may yet ride in at the last minute and swoop the trembling, wet-pants leader to safety, allowing him to continue to ride citizens’ backs in the same way a dog in heat rides a bitch in public.
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Most people in Trinidad and Tobago believe Government’s 2020 vision will never be realized but very few thought it would have been because the World would end before that – more precisely, the World ending on December 21st 2012, just after Budget Day.
2012 is the latest blockbuster, kill-the-Planet-and-go-wow movie that promises to end all your worldly problems. 2012 opened in Trinidad and Tobago yesterday and will be opening in the US today, Friday the 13th. It will be released in Japan on November 21st. This movie was made to make people aware that the worldwide recession will end in just over a couple years and that if you had a sex tape accidentally released to a worldwide audience, then you should capitalize on it before it’s too late to make another one.
There are many reasons why people in Trinidad and Tobago agree with the Mayans that the world as we know it will end on December 21st 2012 as that will be the date the Treasury becomes just a word. It will also be around the time the dictatorship slithers into office and 5 new big flagpoles are installed for all comrades to see. Though the world has come a long way from the days of drawings on cave walls to sex tapes on thumb drives, it still has not lived up to our expectations in this country. We all thought, as we fast forwarded to the future, we would have also fast forwarded to happiness but the more we sped the more traffic, floods, Bailey bridges and bandits we met, making a mockery of our Prime Minister’s Tiny Capacity Concert Hall. We in Trinidad and Tobago thought the more money the Government had; the happier the citizens would have been but instead, it turned out mostly the Chinese and one pretty Japanese were the happiest, not the taxpayer.
Some might say Time Traveler’s Wife is a Chick Flick since is contains more male nudity than any movie in my recent memory. The reason for the mostly backside male nudity has to do with the fact that people can travel back and forth in time but not their clothes. This quirk makes it embarrassing for the time traveler when he arrives at some random destination at some random time; usually near a clothes store. For this reason I don’t recommend women pick up time travel even as a hobby since women are fussier about clothes than men.
Time travel at random and unpredictable times makes for a mushy love story with some blood and minor sex scenes. Time Travelers Wife (formerly a book) is also a movie containing good looking actresses and actors, Rachel McAdams and Eric Bana. Beauty had to be an important part of this movie because love stories with ugly people are on their way out since there is too much ugliness in the world and on the streets as it is. It’s hard to say if the Time Traveler’s wife is a tear-jerker but at Movietowne the lights went on later than normal at the end so I couldn’t say for sure. I heard some coughing but that might be mostly people trying to finish their popcorn.
Yes, I would recommend you go see Time Travelers Wife if you are a guy with the need to impress a chick and she will be impressed if she goes with you. You will not only impress her it will give her a famous butt she can compare your sorry butt to. Rachel McAdams‘s butt wasn’t too bad either.
Zoe Yadira Zaldaña Nazario or Zoe Saldana, is the new Uhura in the latest installment of Star Trek due to open on May 8th 2009. She is both beautiful and sexy which reduced the need for special effects and makeup in the movie. I can’t say I remembered Zoe or Zoë from any of her previous movies such as Vantage Point and After Sex because I had not seen them. Now they are on my list.
I snitched the follow from Wikipedia about Zoe :
Zoe Saldana was born in New Jersey on June 19th 1978 to Dominican Republic parents. She is of Lebanese, Indian, Irish, and Jamaican descent. She was raised in Queens, New York, and her first languages are English and Spanish. When Zoe was nine, her father died in a car accident, and her mother moved with Zoe and Zoe’s sisters to the Dominican Republic. There, Zoe enlisted in a ballet class at one of the most prestigious dancing schools in the country, gaining experience as a dancer, which benefited her later for her role in Center Stage. She returned to the United States after her sophomore year in high school and enrolled in the Faces Theater Program, an acting course.
Slumdog Millionaire is an against-all-odds love story and like all love stories it is based on loneliness, courage, hope, and destiny. It is a very clever movie that uses the popular game show Who Wants to be a Millionaire to highlight the hardships billions have to endure to survive.
Slumdog Millionaire is based on the people from the slums of India but it could be the slums anywhere in the world. The movie triumphs because it takes the viewer from sadness to improbable happiness. Slumdog Millionaire does have a happy end but the misery, evil and injustice the movie presents remains in the minds of the audience. Slumdog Millionaire is not a movie that was made to win awards or to highlight the skills of moviemakers but it was a movie that was made to touch your soul.
The Soloist, starring Jamie Foxx and Robert Downey Jr. is based on a remarkable and true story about Nathaniel Anthony Ayers (Jamie Foxx), a musician who was considered one of the most talented students to attend the Julliard School of Music and who became schizophrenic. At age twenty-one Ayres was attending Julliard School of Music when he suffered what appeared to be a nervous breakdown and ended up institutionalized and then homeless.
In the movie Robert Downey Jr. plays the role of Steve Lopez, a columnist for the Los Angeles Times who discovers and writes about Nathaniel Ayers for the LA Times. The Soloist moved from true story, to newspaper column, to book, to hopefully, a great movie. It’s a movie about mental illness, friendship and compassion. I predict The Soloist will be a touching and inspirational movie to all who need a less explosive life around April 24th, 2009, the new scheduled opening date.
Click here to see a video of the real Nathaniel Anthony Ayers and the real Steve Lopez
Freida Pinto at the Directors Guild Awards - 2009
British film, Slumdog Millionaire, might turn out to be the sleeper hit for 2008 and will be widely released on the 27th November 2008. I noticed Slumdog Millionaire when IMDB had a write up about movie two weeks ago but only paid attention this morning when Yahoo said Indian actress Freida Pinto, the co-star of “Slumdog Millionaire,” recently skyrocketed an astonishing 65,740% in one day. From the few photos I have seen it is not surprising Ms. Pinto is the new Buzz. Some critics are already claiming Freida Pinto is much more than a very pretty face and she is also a very good actress. I can’t say if Freida is a good actress or not until I see the movie but I can confirm she is indeed very pretty.
Freida Pinto
The 007 Symbol of Success
I first met James Bond on a flight from Trinidad to Miami in 2007. He was flying economy because, as he would later explain, he was undercover. I didn’t recognize him at first since he had changed so many times over the years but what eventually gave him away was the use of his precise British accent to pick up the flight attendant and the manila folder on his lap marked”Double-Oh-Seven- Top Secret – For Your Eyes Only, Mr. Bond.” Naturally he denied he was 007 but I was persistent and he finally caved in. Caving in to a layman was not what one would have expected from the best and longest surviving Secret Agent the world had known. I felt he needed someone to talk too and I later realized that carrying the burden of secrecy year in, year out can crack even the oddest ball.
Bond was hesitant to talk about his job at first and explained that he was in Trinidad for a holiday but as he was about to lay down his head, M called with a new mission which had knocked the winds out his sails. He said he went from hero to zero in no time but I suspected he was the victim of great expectations. Bond had to get the first flight out of Trinidad and he never realized that there were so many. I said Trinidad was a place that people liked to leave but Bond failed to notice my attempted humor since, I assumed, he was distracted by his mission and windless sails.
James Bond as he boarded a flight from Trinidad to Miami
I was eager to find out about the Secret Agent business since I often pretend I was a Secret Agent making calls from my shoe instead of my cell phone. Bond admitted the Secret Agent business was overrated and many of the secrets of the business could be found in any Robert Ludlum book or Google. I was more interested in the women aspect of the business and he said he it was the main reason he stayed for so long. Bond revealed he was writing a book he was going to either call Women I Bon(d)ed or Women in Bondage. I said the name didn’t matter once there were pictures and Bond agreed.
Bond Girls
007 grew more talkative as the Martinis flowed. He talked about Odd Job, Goldfinger and our very own Mr. Big. He spoke fondly of Ursula Andress, Michelle Yeoh and Halle Berry in a bikini. Bond recommended BMW passionately but wondered if The Prime Minister will give Benz, Audi, Jaguar and Aston Martin a chance to bid. James was bitter when I asked about MI6 (Emm eye six) and said he was seriously thinking about leaving and joining the CIA now that Barack Obama was the President. Bond also complained about Tom Cruise, called him pretentious and short, and said there were very few people who understood what was impossible about Cruise’s missions. Bond thought people were mainly interested in the special effects and Tom’s sultry women. I said people were also saying that about Bond and he seemed quite surprised and drunk.
The Air Marshals had to restrain Bond and carry him off the plane when he started to let out top secret information and show passengers his gun. I felt sorry for the Secret Agent who had sacrificed so much of his life saving the world from misguided villains and Republicans but who had now become a little bananas. I realized that Bond’s main source of stress was that he had many women friends who looked so good that it was driving him insane trying to remember their names and tatoo locations. Luckily, before Bond was arrested I was able to get his little black book from his pocket, a book which promised to give me, the new 007, a Quantum of Solace.
Titanic - A memorable scene
Titanic is a water based love story and also a monster movie. Since its release in 1997 Titanic has grossed $1,848,813,795 worldwide and that is a titanic performance. Though I am a straight man I do like Titanic, both as a movie and a submersible. Titanic is a movie which, to this day, appeals to a wide cross-section of people and has a bit of everything. Titanic contains good looking people, ugly people, good people, cruel people, rich people, poor people, Irish people, musicians and even an engineer. Titanic appeals to all ages and sexes and even has a sex scene, or maybe it is just nudity, I can’t remember.
Titanic - Censored by this blog
The question being asked today is whether The Dark Knight will equal or better the box-office performance of Titanic. After seeing The Dark Knight, I will have to say I am doubtful. People went to see Titanic two, three, and four times because it was a bucketful of emotions. It made people happy and cry at the same time and the characters were easy to relate too. The Dark Knight is an action-based, superhero movie that is not as emotional as Titanic and lacks staying power.The Dark Knight, though powerful from a moralistic point of view, and has good special effects and a motorcycle, is simply not as charming as Titanic. Sadly, The Dark Knight had no romping in the hay and there were no trademark memorable scenes as there were in Titanic. At least I can’t remember any. There was scarcely any bonding between screen characters and the non-psychotic members of the audience. I don’t have the urge to go back and see The Dark Knight for those reasons.
The Joker Claps
Very soon, I think, the euphoria over The Dark Knight will settle and just as the Jedi eventually returned for financial reasons, so too will The Dark Knight. With the Titanic there was never any possibility of a return; the end was always meant to be final.
Titanic GIF - Created by this blog
The Dark Knight Poster
The Dark Knight was a good movie because during the movie I wasn’t distracted by the fact Heath Ledger was no longer alive and Christian Bale was recently arrested by London police for allegedly assaulting his 61 year old mother, a former circus clown, and his sister. Good movies are always full of distractions.
The Dark Knight was an intense movie which never let up for the 152 minutes of screen time. It was a good versus evil movie and I am beginning to wonder what the movie industry would do without evil, or good for that matter. As everybody said, The Joker stole the show from Batman but he always did and in every incarnation as that is the nature of evil. This movie was filled with moral dilemmas such as does the good of the one you love outweigh the good of the masses. Or can evil exist simply for evil’s sake or does evil have a plan that is more attractive than Batman’s. Naturally the movie suggested that Batman made the right decision which was probably the wrong one in the end. I find The Dark Knight to be disturbing for that reason but little children and young teens may not find it so since munching popcorn and texting requires concentration.
The Dark Knight - The Joker
Batman is a better superhero than Spiderman, Ironman, and Hulk, and is on par with Daredevil, and Hancock. Batman is better as he bleeds easier than most superheroes which makes him more human but is extremely wealthy which makes him a bit of an idiot for wanting to dress up as a bat in order to fight crime. However, I was made to understand that some women are attracted to Batman because he has a private jet (or missile), wears a black cape in bed, and has a mask with needlessly protruding ears. It’s difficult for the ordinary man to compete with that.
The Midnight Meat Train - Poster
The Midnight Meat Train is a new horror movie being released in Trinidad and Tobago today but is accidentally being listed as All Ages on Movietowne’s website. The Midnight Meat Train is based on a 1984 short story from the master horror writer Clive Barker. The movie already received rave reviews on IMDB based on its premier showing in the US but will only be widely released on 1st August. I can’t wait to see The Midnight Meat Train but I will have to since plans are already in train for The Dark Night starring Batman and The Joker. The Midnight Meat Train is directed by Japanese director, Ryuhei Kitamura and I hope he is as good as they say. The movie stars Bradley Cooper, Leslie Bibb and the scary Brooke Shields.
I am interested in The Midnight Meat Train not because the name sounds suggestive but because it’s an R-rated horror movie based on a Clive Barker story featuring a photographer and his camera. It looks like a rangefinder film camera and not a digital SLR. Somehow, memory cards and computers are not as scary as darkrooms and chemicals.
Ryuhei Kitamura
Movietowne's Mistake
This Beach Called Life - aka_lol's blog 
