Only In Trinidad and Tobago – CHOGM a Success


Yes, CHOGM was a resounding success with all the aircrafts and people destined to leave Trinidad and Tobago now out of the country. Sorry if I sound like I don’t like world leaders, journalist dollars and simplemindedness but it’s just that I am fed up of people making statements out of politeness rather than knowledge.

Every report on the outcome of CGOGM could have been written weeks, months or years before the first bowl of corn soup was served at the Port of Spain Hyatt.  I am sure most citizens of the Commonwealth did not even know there was a CHOGM and those who knew were simply glad their leader was not around for the weekend. The calling of the 2009 CHOGM a success was probably written on the very the day one crazy man with an inferiority complex chip on his shoulder decided to hold the meeting at the country’s expense, not his.

There were no surprises at CHOGM, the Queen had a ball and world leaders were impressed. Both leaders and their current wives loved the culture and think people should be allowed to drum as much as they want. All found the natives hospitable and the natives they saw in person were not naked, unlike some on the Internet.  The Aussies, with boats and helicopters still on their minds, honored an honorable citizen. The only thing that CHOGM did for citizens of this country was to send the fed up level well above 69% but still far away from the instability level of 96.73%. I want my hospital bed, community centre and private jet now.

Enhanced by Zemanta
Advertisements

The Fed Up 69% – Trinidad and Tobago


As is normal with international gatherings of world leaders and hot air, a group who knows Trinidad and Tobago better than any foreign or local politician has taken out a full-page ad to alert leaders about impostors amongst their midst. Impostors who scarcely understand the game of cricket despite living in the West Indies for too long. I am not fed up as I am numb. I don’t blame the government for their arrogance towards citizens because arrogance is a byproduct of ignorance and stupidity, not the cause. Politicians are part of society – not the best part though – and have evolved into what they are today because they were misguided into thinking they have the divine right to do as they please, as if Trinidad and Tobago was not a democracy.  We have a leader, when armed with two lines of data, thinks he has volumes of knowledge but what he really has is a misunderstanding of public sentiment and a most compliant police service who will protect and serve only one master.

Enhanced by Zemanta

CHOGM – So What!


The Prime Minister has asked me and the other citizens to be supportive of CHOGM (pronounced chewing gum) which might include no negative blogging or making fun of it. The Prime Minister has also asked me, along with other gullible citizens, to look out for foreign investments after CHOGM as investments might be so small we all have to keep our collective eyes open for it. Even if we don’t get CHOGM investments because of traffic, crime, flooding and school children regularly killing each other with 10-inch kitchen knives, we will be happier because of CHOGM starting Monday. Some citizens have already benefited from CHOGM with carefully orchestrated economic activity thrown their way. “Just get it now, I don’t want to know the price. The Queen  coming, and Sarkozy too” one organizer was heard whispering on the phone to a friend. “Sarco who? But anyway, it expensive” said the friend. “So what! You ever hear about the new property tax!” the organizer snickered.

The Queen and other major people will be coming for CHOGM but very few will drive on a traffic road or tour our shanty towns. Very few will meet a normal citizen or have any recollection of our country’s name after Sunday lunch. How can we benefit by the arrogant, head-laughing-stock flying in via jet from fifty something countries,  gathering under one roof to talk about polar ice and eat corn soup that was made in an aluminum pot.

Yes, most citizens still think CHOGM is a few-hundred-million dollar joke and will not benefit citizens in any way.  Most see CHOGM and the big flagpole as a drain on our scarce foreign exchange and the reason for the increased property tax.  Maybe most of the benefits of CHOGM will come in the not too distant future as the Treasury is confirmed empty and the Government increases another tax. Maybe the real benefits of CHOGM will be felt when the Government starts its final plunder for dollars to buy a private jet by attacking those once stable pension funds with their party-backers-financiers. “So what!”

Enhanced by Zemanta

Porn in Trinidad and Tobago – Something New


Korean cat?

Until recently, Trinidad and Tobago was not a force in the porn production industry but with recent “accidental” successes, our GDP looks set to grow, or at least bulge, in the coming months.

I have been reading for sometime that Trinidad and Tobago is the #1 country for porn searches per capita and knowing Trinis, I am sure that is “free porn.” I don’t have any stats but how many people in this country would pay for online porn? On the other hand, South Korea is a country that is not as God fearing or cheap as Trinidad and Tobago with each South Korean (adult, I assume) spending $US526.76 each year on porn which means South Korea spends over $US25 billion annually to have a damn good time. It appears that South Korea is a country that puts its money where its mouth would like to be. Maybe Trinidad and Tobago secretly spends on porn and that is why there is a shortage of foreign exchange to buy CDAP drugs, hospital beds and private jets.

Is porn really that popular in Trinidad and Tobago and if so, why? I have no doubt that porn is popular all over Trinidad and Tobago but that popularity is part of being a young nation and the young is preoccupied with sex. Another reason porn might be popular in Trinidad and Tobago is due to our smallness (geographic) and now have a few dollars, we can afford more Internet connections, thus opening more eyes to a world of exciting possibilities on weekends. Maybe Health Minister Narace will tackle porn after he conquers sweetness and health. I suppose porn is used only to point in the right direction, but porn should never be the final destination or reason for cramps.

Enhanced by Zemanta

Sex Tapes, Cigars and Black Cakes – Trinidad and Tobago


Trinidad and Tobago is never a dull place with activities taking place like the proposed restructuring of the now much-too-fat-for-years Petrotrin, and the creation of more lucrative industries such as the flagpole sector. The entertainment industry is also now more entertaining than ever with the unexpected release of a sex-tape featuring former Miss Trinidad and Tobago, Anya Ayoung-Chee and “boyfriend American photographer, Wyatt Gallery” – what a name. There was a comment in The Daily Express today by Photographer Wyatt concerning the sex-tape(s) and I do feel sorry for the couple since I rated the tape a 3 out of 5, at best. They need to brush up.

Hot on the heels of the sex tape, there was Jerry Narace, Minister of Health, saying now that he has conquered tobacco; he is going after sugar. Don’t laugh since sugar kills more people and causes more suffering in Trinidad and Tobago than many popular lifestyle diseases such as eating animal fat or drinking vodka and orange juice, but not as much as sitting in traffic. As Minister of Health, he is obligated to tell people what to eat to avoid being killed in one of the nation’s hospitals. I am all for prevention and any law that will make a Kiss Cake seem as dangerous as three bandits attacking you and your wife at home, I am for.

Kiss Cake

What I hope the Minister will do soon is to pass even more laws that will put alcohol in its rightful place. These laws must include making the selling of the single bottle of beer illegal, forcing people and maxi taxi drivers to buy beer by the case or keg instead. I hope the Minister does not think the breathalyzer is a deterrent since it just changes the way people drink rather than how much. The minister should look at making sure rum shops and night clubs open only from 7:00 p.m and close at 11:00 p.m rather than any time, any day. The new Keep Trinidad and Tobago Drunk Free initiative will see supermarkets being banned from selling alcohol and people working in the alcohol industry being retrained to plant flagpoles instead of drinking rum in stock rooms and Board Rooms. As much as alcohol encourages sex and sometimes even good sex tapes, the Minister must have alcohol banned over a 3 to 5 year period with the last alcoholic thing to go being the Christmas Fruit Cake. It is not until action is taken against alcohol will I believe this, or any, Government as being patriotic as a big flag.

Enhanced by Zemanta

Trinidad and Tobago – A Nation Conveniently In Crisis?


The Chinese say out of crisis comes opportunity and that is why Trinidad and Tobago is the land of opportunistic people, not only the Chinese. Last week the Prime Minister said no more fetes in national sporting complexes probably because  of the high cost of  repairing The National Flagpole but the very next day Ministers were meeting to solve the perennial problem of nowhere to wine.

But a crisis isn’t always created for the opportunity to look good but sometimes to create the opportunity to fast track a tender award to those contractors who can charge several flagpoles more just by saying yes they can deliver in Chinese time. Even if the taxpayers will have to borrow to finance these fast tracked schemes, it will happen.  The reason for cost overruns in many Government contracts might be due to a change in design by mysterious forces and soil, resulting in a nice crisis midway through the project giving the contractor the opportunity to buy those two extra S-Class Mercedes along with that high-rise apartment his girlfriend always demanded for her sex-tape grade services. Only with this well planned, sudden design change will Mr. Contractor be able to spring for that industrial grade 10-speed blender his wife had her eye on for years. The opportunities taxpayers subsidize.

The traffic “crisis” is another opportunity to give those “fast” contractors the chance to overbid just to help the population, waiting in traffic, to get from A to B without using a shoulder.  The crime “crisis” can, or has provided “security supply companies” with the opportunity to deliver crime suppression supplies urgently at top dollar so the public and select suppliers would be impressed how serious the authorities are about alleviating their suffering. Besides, the crime “crisis” now employs both non-criminals and criminals thus making crime more organized and an all encompassing industry. The health care system will continue to fall apart once there is money to be made from people, who have no private practice or Government contracts, suffering in hospital corridors. The urgent need to impress foreign “leaders” is now causing the fast tracking of many things cultural including the cutting of the bush along the highway. The next new “crisis” will be water as the population is running out of tires and foam mattresses to drag and burn.

Out of crisis comes opportunity and if done properly, there will be no Commission of Enquiry.

2012 – A Movie, Not a Sex Tape


Most people in Trinidad and  Tobago believe Government’s 2020 vision will never be realized but very few thought it would have been because the World would end before that – more precisely, the World ending on December 21st 2012, just after Budget Day.

grande_2012_poster2012 is the latest blockbuster, kill-the-Planet-and-go-wow movie that promises to end all your worldly problems. 2012 opened in Trinidad and Tobago yesterday and will be opening in the US today, Friday the 13th. It will be released in Japan on November 21st. This movie was made to make people aware that the worldwide recession will end in just over a couple years and that if you had a sex tape accidentally released to a worldwide audience, then you should capitalize on it before it’s too late to make another one.

2012 Movie PosterThere are many reasons why people in Trinidad and Tobago agree with the Mayans that the world as we know it will end on December 21st 2012 as that will be the date the Treasury becomes just a word. It will also be around the time the dictatorship slithers into office and 5 new big flagpoles are installed for all comrades to see. Though the world has come a long way from the days of drawings on cave walls to sex tapes on thumb drives, it still has not lived up to our expectations in this country. We all thought, as we fast forwarded to the future, we would have also fast forwarded to happiness but the more we sped the more traffic, floods, Bailey bridges and bandits we met, making a mockery of our Prime Minister’s Tiny Capacity Concert Hall. We in Trinidad and Tobago thought the more money the Government had; the happier the citizens would have been but instead, it turned out mostly the Chinese and one pretty Japanese were the happiest, not the taxpayer.

Enhanced by Zemanta