It was on Christmas day 1953 when the Martians first landed on our planet. These aliens had no idea that Christmas Day was a War Holiday since they had downloaded the CIA World Fact book from the CIA’s website nearly two years before and were pleasantly surprised at the amount of hostility and bloodshed on planet Earth. Little did they know this “Intelligence Agency disguised as a website” was a war-based organization that seldom documents peace and joyous events in a good light. Based also on their searches on Google, Planet Earth seemed to be the ideal planet for a Martian vacation resort and conference center. Unfortunately the bloated Martian Government report titled “Planets We Should Invaded – aka Hostile Atmospheres for Martians – aka 101 Things Brain Dead Governments Should Do Before Christmas” didn’t paint Earth as even a remotely aggressive Planet after the Christmas Landing of 53. Martians are a people (oxymoron) who strive on War and other forms of meaningless aggression. The aliens from The Red Planet would not last a week if someone repeatedly greeted them with “Peace On Earth,” “Joy To The World” or even the worn, hidden-aggressive greeting “Have a nice day.” Their body chemistry and odor would never allow it. Needless to say this lack of Earth invasion by The Martian military may soon come to an end since Earth as a possible planet for a Martian invasion comes up for review sometime in 2007 by the Happiness Committee of Mars, who is actually scheduled to visit a shopping mall on Earth a few days before Christmas this year.
p.s: This blog was inspired by the first Christmas blog for the Season. Please visit The Cuke Is In during the week and selected holidays between normal opening and closing blogging hours.