Here is a list of things I want done ASAP since many, many years is a long time even by my standards (for those who don’t know or are just too stupid ASAP means As Soon As Possible and sometimes pronounced Ass Arp or Ass Up in your case). These things are not to be done for the Summit but for the lovely people. Please have all task finished at least seven days before 17th April.
- Paint concrete dividers on the highway so that drivers and dignitaries will notice how clean they look and think our hands are also clean. Have no fear; we will stick posters on them before the Local Gov elections.
- Cut trees in airport car park so that thieves can be seen smashing car windows to get to valuables and bags of bene balls left on car seats. Seeing is believing.
- Cut trees near lighthouse to prevent the Sea Lots bandits from hiding in them. Those bandits will have to hide elsewhere so think of somewhere else for them to hide. Bandits are our friends and supporters.
- Widen road near Light House so that people will feel we want them to come to town.
- Get somebody at UDECOTT to make up another completion date for the white…I mean the Brian Lara Stadium.
- Pave airport tarmac to accommodate VIPs (for those who do not know or are simply stupid it means Very Important Planes)
- Cut bush where necessary.
- Install CCTV where it matters.
- Remove tints from cars so we can see who we looking for with the CCTV.
- Move the homeless but make it sound humane. I don’t care what you do with them since most don’t have ID cards.
- Promise the Unions dialogue since talk is cheap.
- Lock down appropriate areas.
- Promise the people anything to keep them from burning tires.
- Monitor blogs which are critical of the Government and take appropriate action but keep action quiet.
p.s. Mr. Minister of Works, why am I paying a consultant to tell the public the steel no good. I have a good feeling to pay him from your cu…your salary.