Pro Max Apologizes After Removing Speedo

jesterPro Max finally took off his Speedo that he wore the whole time he was on his Mediterranean cruise and got down to writing his subjects a sorry letter. Ever since he heard how the people who paid his salary, but did not elect him, were calling for his head while he was on vacation, he thought of ways to keep his job. It was the best job he ever had and he wanted to keep it so bad. He loved his job even more than the country since it allowed him to vacation at the country’s expense. Pro Max thought if he wrote a three-page “I am sorry” note that he didn’t plagiarize he could get people to believe he wasn’t stupid. Stupid people write blogs not apologize, he thought.

ps3-mushroom-clownPro decided he would send the note after The Enquiry start back since people cannot feel two sets of pain at the same time. Pro couldn’t understand why the people were calling for his head since every other institution in the country was falling apart. Was he being victimized, he wondered. Pro Max thought even though he looked like The Guilty, sounded like The Guilty, and quacked like The Guilty, he would be seen as The Innocent once he admitted to being human. If all else fails admit to being human, was his motto. Pro Max felt if he avoided major issues like plagiarism and promises and instead talked about the next time and systems all would be forgotten. After all, he was having fun in Europe and didn’t want to come back home.

tt-speedoPro Max would blame his blunders and dishonesty on a few scapegoats and claim it was the dawn of a new era and debate. People always liked to hear about new eras almost as much as they liked hearing about booms and aluminum. Pro wanted to say the sky was not falling but that would be plagiarism. To appear humble while being arrogant is what Pro Max really wanted to do. That, and to wine up on his subjects.

Pro Max finally finished his sorry note and signed it. He hoped  the people would understand that even though he never said it, he was a Party Man and the Party ain’t done yet.

11 thoughts on “Pro Max Apologizes After Removing Speedo

  1. Pingback: Twitted by akalol

  2. Okay, I’m nominating this for post title of the year. 🙂 I tell you, for a moment there… **shakes head to remove horrific image** 🙂 Now the patriotic Speedo pictured in your post is another matter altogether!

    …looked like The Guilty, sounded like The Guilty and quacked like The Guilty… – Man, you are so good at this stuff. I love the jest, and the truth behind the jest.

  3. If Pro Max had more “investigative” powers he would have been able to not break promises, not embarrass people, understand the meaning of the word “plagiarize,” and have CXC level intelligence so that he can understand who doesn’t qualify. Power to The Max.

  4. Pingback: Global Voices Online » Trindad & Tobago: Sorry Seems to be the Hardest Word

  5. This is hilarious, and the whole situation would be funny if it wasn’t so sad. I’m still coming to terms with this whole integrity commission business. But I’m really interested to see if Max resigns or not…

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