Obama Calls Manning
April 9th, 2009
President O: Hello?
PM PM: Hello.
President O: Is this PM PM?
PM PM: Yes, this is PM PM.
President O: God man, this in President O. I have been trying to reach you for a while but couldn’t get you.
PM PM: Yuh sure? President O! Yuh sounding funny.
President O: This is no trick, Sir. This is President O.
PM PM: Gosh, sorry yuh couldn’t geh mih before. Ah think ah was out? Oh gawdd!
President O: The phone only rang and rang but no one answered.
PM PM: Dem blasted Secetree and dem. Ah tell dem wen ah not around to stay by de dam phone. Shucks Man! Ah tell dem somebody important would ah call one day but dey a believe mih! Stueeps!
President O: Pardon?
PM PM: Sorry President O, I was just mumbling to myself.
President O: Anyway, I am calling about the Summit.
PM PM: Yuh want to change de agenda again? No probs. Some ah dem leaders real soft and de rest is only mouth. Dey feel because dey have a few oil dollars dey big. Stupees!
President O: No, I didn’t really call about that. I am actually calling about my plane and the accommodation for it.
PM PM: We bill a new hanger and thing. Doe worry bout nothing. We taking care of it.
President O: Nice, PM PM. Glad to hear that.
PM PM: So yuh bringing de Beast?
President O: Huh? Yes, Hillary will be arriving ahead of the Summit.
PM PM: No, no! I mean yuh bulletproof car.
President O: Oh, that Beast. My people will talk to your people about that.
PM PM: As you wish, Sir.
President O: There is another matter; about the runway cracks…
PM PM: …yes, we are looking into that seriously this time. Don’t worry about ah ting. Dem dam blog an dem!
President O: Great! And I also wanted you to know that Cuba is not a democracy…
PM PM: …and neither is China.
President O: Touché! You are clever as they said. I would also like to talk at the Summit about going Green.
PM PM: Gosh man, every time I see Air Force One I goe green.
President O: No, I mean the effort by countries to adopt clean, renewable energy sources.
PM PM: Yes, yes. Only a few weeks ago we appointed a Renewable committee and I get them lecturers at UWI to suddenly talk Green and all dat crap.
President O: Great, Trinidad and Tobago is a true political nation. No doubt the hot topic will be the economy.
PM PM: God man, an de Stadium and de Enquiry aint even finish as yet.
President O: What?
PM PM: Sorry President O, I was only mumbling to myself again.
President O: You seem to do that a lot, don’t you?
PM PM: Pressure! Pressure ah tell yuh!
President O: I know how it is.
President O: Not to get sidetracked, another topic on the agenda is inequality and discrimination.
PM PM: That is two topics, Mr. Pres.
President O: Not if you discuss it as one.
PM PM: Oh ho.
President O: As I was saying, the Leaders attending must discuss inequality and discrimination.
PM PM: Stupees, dem people doe vote fuh me so I must discriminate. Nutten fuh dem! Wait till yuh see the “cultural” presentation we have in store fuh Summit Friday. Dey goe bawl.
President O: You know, PM PM, at all these talk shops people say good things and say they are against discrimination but the same people who say so end up discriminating. People don’t want to be discriminated against but they want to discriminate against others. They exclude and they victimize. They are hypocritical and just don’t get it. Some leaders even sound Holier than the Pope but are anything but. I am beginning to wonder if these Summits are not a waste of time and money. Maybe we could all chat on Facebook on the first Wednesday of every third month instead.
PM PM: Gosh Sir, I build the Waterfront already and ah even thank de crook, ah mean man, fuh billing it. How ah goe feel nice if nobody see it?
President O: I understand this Summit is costing the country a pretty penny and people are worried about their jobs, just as in the US.
PM PM: You think I have dem to study. I is de leader, I will spend their money how I want. When yuh doe spend it dey say yuh doe do nothing. When yuh spend it bad dey say he thief. All dem people want is hospital and school, like ah could hole a Summit in a Senior Comp. Look, I fed up yes. Stupees!
President O: I think all Good Leaders must relate to their population and talk to All The People, not just some. A Good Leader must speak with compassion and not arrogance. A good leader must not swell up like a bullfrog on stage.
PM PM: Ah hah tu tell some ah dem leaders that, yes.
President O: Well, I am also a busy man so I will talk to you some more at the Summit.
PM PM: Wait! Wait! So, wah time yuh coming?
PM PM: Like de call jus drop again, yes.