Missile Shield TM

CEPEP gangs have now become famous for using the latest innovations in technology and have in their arsenal, not only cutlasses and paint brushes, but weed whackers run by noisy gas engines similar to those used in first world by smaller sized grass-gangs to cut three times the amount of grass per hour. However, the latest technological breakthrough in the CEPEP grass-cutting field is not how they whack the weeds, but in a rather ingenious device called a CEPEP Missile Shield ^TM. This shield is used during episodes of weed whacking to prevent stray weeds and misguided stones from hitting the wrong targets such as car windscreens and pedestrians on cell phones. The CEPEP Missile Shield ^TM is ingenious because of its simplicity and effectiveness. The Shield is made from a piece of the foreman’s striped blanket, about two meters long and two meters high with two long pieces of old wood on opposite ends to make the apparatus look like an out of proportion banner from a Carnival Band with a measly budget and poor taste. The Shield is stretched out, and held in position by two unshielded workers who are an unwilling part of the invention. Data analyzers at CEPEP are still trying to boot up their computers but initial findings have suggested that less drivers and pedestrians are chasing down, and cussing up CEPEP workers. Nevertheless, the full extent of the injuries being nursed by the missile shield holders is not likely to be acknowledged in this millennium.