Missile Shield TM

Missile Shield

CEPEP gangs have now become famous for using the latest innovations in technology and have in their arsenal, not only cutlasses and paint brushes, but weed whackers run by noisy gas engines similar to those used in first world by smaller sized grass-gangs to cut three times the amount of grass per hour. However, the latest technological breakthrough in the CEPEP grass-cutting field is not how they whack the weeds, but in a rather ingenious device called a CEPEP Missile Shield TM. This shield is used during episodes of weed whacking to prevent stray weeds and misguided stones from hitting the wrong targets such as car windscreens and pedestrians on cell phones. The CEPEP Missile Shield TM is ingenious because of its simplicity and effectiveness. The Shield is made from a piece of the foreman’s striped blanket, about two meters long and two meters high with two long pieces of old wood on opposite ends to make the apparatus look like an out of proportion banner from a Carnival Band with a measly budget and poor taste. The Shield is stretched out, and held in position by two unshielded workers who are an unwilling part of the invention. Data analyzers at CEPEP are still trying to boot up their computers but initial findings have suggested that less drivers and pedestrians are chasing down, and cussing up CEPEP workers. Nevertheless, the full extent of the injuries being nursed by the missile shield holders is not likely to be acknowledged in this millennium.

24 thoughts on “Missile Shield TM

  1. It’s a multi-faceted innovation. After all it gives so many extra jobs to people who would otherwise be paid to do nothing. Now you get paid to hold an end of the shield, operate the weedwhacker, be the standby relief whacker-operator, supervise the whacker-operations, supervise the missile shield and the relief shielders. See – much better arrangement.

  2. Future US Presidential-hopefuls could take the 2-week Shield-Holder crash course now being offered by CEPEP.
    It promises to provide all course participants with the agility and dexterity to dodge all hand-thrown flying missiles – from pebbles to footwear, including stones, shoes and the assortment of vegetable cash-crops being destroyed by the EMDC (Estate Management Development Company) as Trinidad showcases its 2020 first-world development drive.
    Appropriate advertising will be carried on Water Taxis to market this Skill Development course to the thousands of intransit tourists arriving for the Summit of the Americas being hosted in Trinidad who will be guesting on floating barges just off the POSH (Port Of Spain Hyatt) Hotel.
    All controversial podium public speakers are asked to take note of the course benefits and should lobby to have the course patented (like the ‘pan) as the only wothwhile endeavour- the only real reality show – invented in this century to guarantee the removal of all boredom from public speech events and to promote live 3D interaction with the Public while protecting the Podium Speakers and their guests from injury.

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