Trinidad and Tobago – The Calm Before the Storm


ok-then

So what has Mr. Howai and the rest of the brilliant PP government done to reduce the massive wastage of fuel due to the thousands of people driving from South and Central into the world famous bottleneck, Port of Spain, to work? This Government promoted inefficiency is not only a drain on the treasury but a complete waste of hundreds of thousands of man-hours spent in traffic daily. The inefficiency due to traffic is made worse by the amount of stress and related health issues, such as unhappiness, this inflicts on those who are unfortunate enough to travel this route to earn enough to feed their families and buy subsidized gasoline.

 
This daily South-North traffic was encouraged by Manning when he built several tall buildings to house the people in the tiny capital Port of Spain almost as a form of vengeance. It was hoped that one of the first acts of the PP Government should have been a plan to get citizens to work closer to where they live rather than give contracts to party financiers. Naturally, Kamla’s amusing and often childish sounding chant “serve the people, serve the people, serve the people” can no longer be heard as the Government buys fifty two armored vehicles to “blow up the people” should they step out of line. Are we a nation on the verge of revolt?

 
Yes, a revolt might be near simply because when the Government, either PP or PNM, removes the unsustainable subsides on gasoline, water, electricity and GATE, CEPEP, URP and CDAP, all hell will break loose in paradise and whether party financiers get their contracts and the appropriate kickbacks paid will be the least of the Government’s concerns.

No Bullies, No Corruption, No Anil


stop-bullying-cartoon3-598x644

I have no idea if the pro-corruption Life Sport programme will be another straw which will break the Partnership’s back again  but certainly the retention of Anil Roberts will. His supporters say that Anil “does give it to them good” but it seems he cannot take it despite his claims of having a very broad, swimmers back. That is how it is with bullies.

Unfortunately the only things Anil ever brought to this country as a politician was his over inflated ego, delusion of grandeur, bullyism and an oversize mouth. The Prime Minister terminated the Life Sports programme, which came under Mr. Roberts, because the audit report said there were more than several instances of suspected massive corruption. Under the Life Sport programme there were a few hundred million dollars earmarked to keep young teens away from gangs,  crime and political life. Instead the audit report suggests much of this money went into the pockets of the chosen few who, like many before them, craved plundering the Treasury.

Anil Roberts said the termination of the programme will cause poor black boys to suffer but was silent on whether his legendary incompetence as a Minister of Sports made poor black boys happy. This is a disgraceful  national fiasco so why is Anil Roberts thinking twice about resigning but more importantly, why is the Prime Minister afraid to fire him. Fear is weakness.

Trinidad and Tobago – Your Stones Will Be Unturned, Again


cops

THIS NEVER HAPPENED

In what can only be described as uncharacteristic brilliance after a national tragedy, our local police made a prompt arrest of a group of suspected hit men, seized their high tech weapons and two bags of doubles within minutes after the group allegedly carried out a daring assassination of an well-known state prosecutor just after 12:00 am last night. The police was able to make this arrest and interception  because of the multitude of working and expensive CCTV cameras along the route were actually working and being monitored for a change. These phenomenally expensive high tech cameras were purchased using taxpayer’s money and installed by the usual high-priced government approved contractors, and monitored by an unknown, but strangely intelligent state agency that were not using the cameras to monitor girls with short dresses and low tops on the Avenue.

When the Ag. CoP was asked to comment he repeatedly said in a comforting manner “Not all murders are hits and but all hits are murders.” However, the Minister of National Security was relieved that something finally went right after a murder. When asked to comment on the National Security breakthrough the Minister blushed uncontrollably, yet sadly, and said the Prime Minister was planning to once again have every stone unturned. He said the PM was ready to offer a reward, which was less than the lotto, for vital information on the assassination, to anyone who craved sudden death via bullets from high-power rifles at close range. The Minister admitted, though he was the God of National Security,  had no clue if the reward would have been tax exempt, delivered via an anonymous wheelbarrow or could be used in the afterlife. 

As for the motive for the gruesome murder, the Minister said they (the hit men) thought we were stupid and wanted to make us look bad internationally. When asked if the hit was an attempt to destabilize the country he said no, as the country was already mentally unstable long before this.  

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Drone Fetes Trinidad Style


short shorts

short shorts

Ask any Pakistani where is a good place to put a drone and the last place they would come up with would be a cooler fete in south Trinidad. But since most fete promoters are not genuine Pakistanis, a drone was employed to take aerial shots of one such fete. As luck would have it, this drone, probably dropping low to get a better view of a woman with nearly no top or shorts or both, lost control and struck a patron on his head causing a several-stitch type injury. However, eyewitnesses said that it was some stupid patrons who started to pelt the drone, possibly thinking it was from the Gary Griffith future crime plan. which caused the crash. Another unsubstantiated report says the drone had cheap batteries which failed when called on to perform.

Crash or no crash, the future of both policing and fete promotion lies on the wings of drones. Drones will be as common as political hot air and just like a new Jack Warner walk about, it will go unnoticed. Future fetes will be streamed live via an unauthorized drones swooping low and making privacy a thing of the past. The shootouts of the future between rival gangs or gangs and police may take the form of a drone war and drive by shootings will be replaced by fly by ones. But right now, everything is up in the air.

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Saying a Prayer for The National Week of Prayer in Trinidad and Tobago


Praying_mantis_indiaThe prayers of the people of Trinidad and Tobago are working and as proof of this the head of the IRO said things could have been worse. What more proof do we need. Because of this revelation I would like support the IRO and Government of this semi-blessed land of Trinidad and Tobago and urge people to pray, not just more, but better. People should now pray 24/7 rather than at bedtime or during a hold up.  A newspaper reported the Prime Minister saying “Pray in whatever way you know. When you pray from the heart, God listens.” Which probably explains the high murder rate and confiscated cans of local orange juice.

I am thankful that the error in my praying has been identified and my prayers will now be heartfelt and focused. I will pray that all political parties be exorcised of drug smugglers, money launderers, bribe payers, bribe takers, pimps, wife beaters, child abusers, the power hungry and those dotish people who think fiction is fact. I will pray that no drugs exported from this country ever be be intercepted. I pray that nobody from our land is extradited to the US to face drug smuggling charges but instead be kept in this murderous and treacherous land called Trinidad and Tobago to face the righteous music and curry duck dished out by our AG and friends.I know my prayers will be acted on by the One who normally listens since this time the prayers would be from the heart and not the intestine as in previous cases. My bad.

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Fishing for Orange Juice in Trinidad and Tobago


Trinidad Orange Juice - a Trinidad and Tobago Icon

Trinidad Orange Juice – a Trinidad and Tobago Icon

Ever since it was discovered in the US that 700 cans of Trinidad orange juice had cocaine hidden inside, the citizens and well wishers of Trinidad and Tobago became anxious and with baited breath are still waiting to know who the true exporter of this juice really is. Surely this must be the work of the mysterious and elusive Mr. Big.  Could this be the moment we have been waiting for donkey’s years?  Mr Big is the mythical and probably real figure who hides in plain sight among the commoners and dignitaries alike.He is the local drug kingpin with powers that would be the envy of any politician or leader. In fact legend says he is, and has always been, the real ruler of the land for countless years.  Mr. Big is the local Keyser Söze.

Some say he started with bags but others say foreign used cars or maybe scotch. Nobody really knows. With things going a little astray overseas recently, the hidden ruler and master of the local drug world is calling on all his politician friends on all sides, to defend him against the foreign, evil oppressors who find his juice in poor taste.  The population is skeptical that Big would ever be caught and identity ever known because of his connections in high places. Naturally, most feel the manufacturer of the juice is not the exporter of the coke and the one who will be charged might be a headless sardine in the cesspit of the local drug trade.

I think it was in very poor taste that the exporter would risk tarnishing the image of a product that is iconic to Trinidad and Tobago and loved by all. As a country, we should stand up against those who want to get rich regardless who or which country they destroy on the way. And if for no other reason Big or Sardine make ah jail it should be for tarnishing the image of the nation for a few big cars and rolly polly women.

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