Trinidad and Tobago is never a dull place with activities taking place like the proposed restructuring of the now much-too-fat-for-years Petrotrin, and the creation of more lucrative industries such as the flagpole sector. The entertainment industry is also now more entertaining than ever with the unexpected release of a sex-tape featuring former Miss Trinidad and Tobago, Anya Ayoung-Chee and “boyfriend American photographer, Wyatt Gallery” – what a name. There was a comment in The Daily Express today by Photographer Wyatt concerning the sex-tape(s) and I do feel sorry for the couple since I rated the tape a 3 out of 5, at best. They need to brush up.
Hot on the heels of the sex tape, there was Jerry Narace, Minister of Health, saying now that he has conquered tobacco; he is going after sugar. Don’t laugh since sugar kills more people and causes more suffering in Trinidad and Tobago than many popular lifestyle diseases such as eating animal fat or drinking vodka and orange juice, but not as much as sitting in traffic. As Minister of Health, he is obligated to tell people what to eat to avoid being killed in one of the nation’s hospitals. I am all for prevention and any law that will make a Kiss Cake seem as dangerous as three bandits attacking you and your wife at home, I am for.
Kiss Cake
What I hope the Minister will do soon is to pass even more laws that will put alcohol in its rightful place. These laws must include making the selling of the single bottle of beer illegal, forcing people and maxi taxi drivers to buy beer by the case or keg instead. I hope the Minister does not think the breathalyzer is a deterrent since it just changes the way people drink rather than how much. The minister should look at making sure rum shops and night clubs open only from 7:00 p.m and close at 11:00 p.m rather than any time, any day. The new Keep Trinidad and Tobago Drunk Free initiative will see supermarkets being banned from selling alcohol and people working in the alcohol industry being retrained to plant flagpoles instead of drinking rum in stock rooms and Board Rooms. As much as alcohol encourages sex and sometimes even good sex tapes, the Minister must have alcohol banned over a 3 to 5 year period with the last alcoholic thing to go being the Christmas Fruit Cake. It is not until action is taken against alcohol will I believe this, or any, Government as being patriotic as a big flag.
The Chinese say out of crisis comes opportunity and that is why Trinidad and Tobago is the land of opportunistic people, not only the Chinese. Last week the Prime Minister said no more fetes in national sporting complexes probably because of the high cost of repairing The National Flagpole but the very next day Ministers were meeting to solve the perennial problem of nowhere to wine.
But a crisis isn’t always created for the opportunity to look good but sometimes to create the opportunity to fast track a tender award to those contractors who can charge several flagpoles more just by saying yes they can deliver in Chinese time. Even if the taxpayers will have to borrow to finance these fast tracked schemes, it will happen. The reason for cost overruns in many Government contracts might be due to a change in design by mysterious forces and soil, resulting in a nice crisis midway through the project giving the contractor the opportunity to buy those two extra S-Class Mercedes along with that high-rise apartment his girlfriend always demanded for her sex-tape grade services. Only with this well planned, sudden design change will Mr. Contractor be able to spring for that industrial grade 10-speed blender his wife had her eye on for years. The opportunities taxpayers subsidize.
The traffic “crisis” is another opportunity to give those “fast” contractors the chance to overbid just to help the population, waiting in traffic, to get from A to B without using a shoulder. The crime “crisis” can, or has provided “security supply companies” with the opportunity to deliver crime suppression supplies urgently at top dollar so the public and select suppliers would be impressed how serious the authorities are about alleviating their suffering. Besides, the crime “crisis” now employs both non-criminals and criminals thus making crime more organized and an all encompassing industry. The health care system will continue to fall apart once there is money to be made from people, who have no private practice or Government contracts, suffering in hospital corridors. The urgent need to impress foreign “leaders” is now causing the fast tracking of many things cultural including the cutting of the bush along the highway. The next new “crisis” will be water as the population is running out of tires and foam mattresses to drag and burn.
Out of crisis comes opportunity and if done properly, there will be no Commission of Enquiry.
Most people in Trinidad and Tobago believe Government’s 2020 vision will never be realized but very few thought it would have been because the World would end before that – more precisely, the World ending on December 21st 2012, just after Budget Day.
2012 is the latest blockbuster, kill-the-Planet-and-go-wow movie that promises to end all your worldly problems. 2012 opened in Trinidad and Tobago yesterday and will be opening in the US today, Friday the 13th. It will be released in Japan on November 21st. This movie was made to make people aware that the worldwide recession will end in just over a couple years and that if you had a sex tape accidentally released to a worldwide audience, then you should capitalize on it before it’s too late to make another one.
There are many reasons why people in Trinidad and Tobago agree with the Mayans that the world as we know it will end on December 21st 2012 as that will be the date the Treasury becomes just a word. It will also be around the time the dictatorship slithers into office and 5 new big flagpoles are installed for all comrades to see. Though the world has come a long way from the days of drawings on cave walls to sex tapes on thumb drives, it still has not lived up to our expectations in this country. We all thought, as we fast forwarded to the future, we would have also fast forwarded to happiness but the more we sped the more traffic, floods, Bailey bridges and bandits we met, making a mockery of our Prime Minister’sTiny Capacity Concert Hall. We in Trinidad and Tobago thought the more money the Government had; the happier the citizens would have been but instead, it turned out mostly the Chinese and one pretty Japanese were the happiest, not the taxpayer.
As the Axe the Tax March gets set for Woodford Square on Saturday, this blog decided to clear the air on the not-so-new property tax that has angered homeowners into an angry fireball. Citizens, despite cursing and more cursing, were about to resign themselves to paying the much higher property tax when, out of nowhere, a flagpole appeared. Here is the untold story about that property tax.
1. Who is responsible for valuing my property?
The Government.
2. Is Property Tax a new tax?
No, but they way you will feel about it will be new, especially after you get your first tax bill.
3. How is the value of my property calculated?
It depends on the design, room space, quality of utilities, party affiliation.
4. Do all properties in Trinidad and Tobago have rental value?
Dah!
5. Will all properties on the same street have the same value?
No, and as we said before in 3, it depends
6. What is my Annual Rental Value?
The value of what the Government feels is your monthly rental times twelve.
7. How much tax will I have to pay?
As much as the Government feels you could afford.
8. Do owners of Government Houses have to pay property tax?
Yes but the value will be a mere pittance compared to those who by nature of their politics were unable to get Government housing.
9. What will the money collected from property tax be used for?
Mainly San Fernando Hill and flagpoles.
10. Should I get angry with the Government for taxing me more despite the blatant wastage of taxpayer’s money over the years and well into the foreseeable future?
No, because the Government promise to keep San Fernando Hill looking pretty
11. How did the Government decide on how much to increase my property tax by?
The New Property Tax came to the Minister of Finance when she heard a scream while looking at a football match that was being played on, of all things, a level playing field. It appeared that in a nearby room, a typical middle class home owner was being routinely interrogated by the revenue authority to determine how much more he could give the Government without dieing and he screamed out a value of 3% times ARV less 10% during the waterboading episode. The Minister, desperate for ideas, heard the screams and created the tax.
12. What can the taxpayer look forward to in the New Year?
Quite a bit; the Government plans to get blood from the middle class stones in the following year.
Stunning winner: Miss T&T/Universe Latoya Woods during the swimsuit segment of the pageant on Sunday night at the Hyatt Regency Trinidad hotel in Port of Spain. - Photo: STEPHEN DOOBAY - Trinidad Express - I hope this is considered fair use by all concerned
Girls with long legs have a definite advantage over the shorter-leg variety as they are seen as being much more beautiful by men; it is a biological thing. Pretty girls are also thought of as being more desirable than unattractive ones as are rich men with loose wallets.
There is a photo of Latoya Woods, the new Miss Trinidad and Tobago Universe representative, in the Trinidad Express today showing Latoya lounging on a couch at The Hyatt – a couch I have favorably encountered in the past – and if you didn’t think she was a winner before, this photo will change your mind. She is easily a stunner with her very pretty face, long legs and other exciting dimensions. I will probably post that photo later if The Express, and or, Latoya promises not to take any legal, or other offensive and painful action, against me.
As I said in a previous post, it must be difficult to choose a Miss Trinidad and Tobago since we are a country full of pretty and exciting girls; some apparently more exciting than others but that is not for this post. I am not sure where or when the next Miss Universe competition will be held as Wikipedia is silent on that issue, but I will be keeping a keen eye on the new competitors, including the usually docile Miss Japan.
This is the photo I was speaking about in the post above - The original photo was published in color but I scanned in black and white
One woman by the vegetable stall said she need ah good licking. I just nodded, not wanting to cause confusion. A man next to the bananas asked if I had a copy and I nodded in a funny way.
I don’t know why there is so much fuss about an alleged existence of a leaked sex tape starring a former Miss Trinidad and Tobago because a sex tape is now like a cell phone, everybody has one and some even have one with each service provider. True, some phones are better looking and have more features than others but you soon get over it and want a newer model.
Apart from seeing how good you look on screen, why would you want to make a sex tape? Maybe it’s to improve technique or maybe it’s to see if you are as hot as you were misled to believe. Hotness is like power, addictive to the point of never wanting to let go and even recruiting extra Chinese if you have to. It really doesn’t matter the reasons why, once you intend the sex tape to be for private turn-on use only then just don’t leave the video unencrypted on a hard drive for it will be found and leaked by the jealous or the insane, or as Bandi said, the computer repair man with a bone to pick. But the lessons of past celebrities don’t always filter down to the newbie so the mistakes must be made over and over, much to the delight of new found fans and admirers.
My advice to anyone who is embarrassed by having a leaked sex tape – don’t worry about it, just hold your head high. Yuh know what ah mean.
A few pages from PM PM’s speech fell out of his folder as he was walking to the stage to address party supporters at the opening of a made in China building. A man who looked like a regular citizen, a man who can’t afford either a house in Miami or sardines in the grocery, found the pages and ran to give PM PM the sheets. PM PM looked around, and as he does with all regular citizens, ignored the man. If PM PM had taken the sheets from the citizen, PM PM’s China speech would have been complete. Here are some excerpts from those missing pages that was leaked like a beauty queen sex tape to this blog:
“My dear friends, as we plunge the country into insurmountable debt and move into a new era of waste and reckless spending, we will see contracts awarded to more and more contractors via UDECOTT, the shining example of my feeling towards the citizens of Trinidad and Tobago – I don’t give a shirt or a slacks. My brothers and sisters, it will happen.
Over the next few months, and well into the future or until your untimely demise, we, the Government, will be collecting taxes from citizens like never before. The property tax will be improved so as to give the Government more and more funds to take care of San Fernando Hill, UDECOTT contractors and urgent flag poles. It will happen, my dear friends. It will happen. As you slowly crawl or sail in and out of Port of Spain on a daily basis, we, the Government, will be hoisting even more and bigger flags around the City that you will be able to see from as far as the Bailey bridge in Macoya, and on a clear day, our Golden Grove Prison. My dear friends, you tell me what is the cost of the National Pride you feel while sitting for hours in traffic or while being robbed at the Beetham, Mt. D’or, Penal Rock Road or San Fernando Hill knowing there is a big flag close by? I, not you, my brothers and sisters, know the true cost of National Pride and I have it right here in my back pocket. Suck it in, my dear friends. Suck it in.
My growing numbers of detractors have been saying many nasty things about my kidney and Hart and I want to assure you, My Dear Friends, my kidney is functioning well but my Hart is simply the best. Those of you who have been undergoing increased frustrations due to increased crime, corruption at the licensing office, incompetence at the passport offices, a National Security Minister without a clue, and a Minister of Works who, despite knowing it all, accomplishes very little to ease your daily frustrations, I say to you, my brothers and sisters, Steups.”
Only a few weeks ago I saw the Mint from Diana with the word that I, and everybody in Trinidad and Tobago have been saying (in bold and red) more than usual, Steups. Because of this, I decided to give Diana’s Steups some free ad space for understanding the mood of the nation better than any politician alive today. I also dedicate this blog post to those who make us feel no National Pride but only Steups instead.
Sasha Grey is hailed as one of the most popular and talented porn stars today. She is 21 years old and has so far starred in 189 adult films. She has won 8 Adult movie awards including the prestigious AVN Best Three-Way Sex Scene (2007) (along with two others, naturally) and Best Oral Sex Scene (2008) – I am sure you, dear reader, are familiar with both scenes but I am not. Her claim to fame is not simply from the adult movie business but from other things like appearing fully clothed on the Tyra Banks Show. Sasha was also recently featured in RollingStone Magazine displaying not only her intellect but her body as well. Her most mainstream claim to fame so far is being the main character in the Academy Award winning director Steven Soderbergh’s movie, The Girlfriend Experience, which is available from Amazon and in Blu-ray. To quote Wikipedia “The New York Times described Sasha Grey’s pornographic career as “distinguished both by the extremity of what she is willing to do and an unusual degree of intellectual seriousness about doing it.” She embodies the best of all imaginable worlds.
The story of Sasha Grey is typical. She comes from a broken home and moved out to live on her own at age 16. Sasha eventually graduated from high school and studied film, dance and acting in junior college. She, like so many with her talent, had to choose between a career as a stripper or as a porn actress to make ends meet and money. Luckily for all concerned, she made the right choice.
About the adult porn industry:
A Reuter’s article states there are 11,000 pornographic titles released every year on DVD and the industry is a multi-billion dollar one. CBS puts this figure at US$10 billion. Porn is also widely accepted and appreciated in the US with big names like GM, Marriott and Time Warner selling erotica to Americans. Porn is not just an American thing with countries all over the world either having a porn industry or appreciating the porn industry. The capital of European porn is no longer Paris but Budapest, Hungary since, according to Forbes Magazine, “Hungarian girls are beautiful, they want money, and there is something in their blood. They can do it.” Do you know where that girl on your desktop is from?
I am not sure if there is a porn industry in Trinidad and Tobago but if there is it must be illegal since we are not yet a developed nation. The Internet is creating nightmares for local customs officers and religious leaders as porn is now delivered in discrete ways customs and preachers have probably tried and tested with great success. Once people want it, you can’t stop it.
I assume the Hotel was advised by competent attorneys about the sequence of words and format of this disclaimer.It sounds and looks desperate to me.I suppose even buildings and flag poles paid for with taxpayers’ dollars have feelings too.
If I stay in my yard and effortlessly take a few dozen photos of my neighbor climbing her plum tree in her favorite hole-ridden shorts then that should not be considered illegal though her shorts may be considered immoral by the religious and the afraid. If I jump over the fence to get a better shot of her, that would be illegal, I assume, but fun, I am sure. If a friend comes to my home and takes the same photos with his image-stabilized, 12x zoom without asking my permission then I may have to place a disclaimer notice in the newspaper after he publishes the photo in the Sunday Punch or any similarly scandalous tabloid just to save face.
Note: She (neighbor) was not wearing a shorts that was bought with taxpayers’ dollars and she is living in her own home which she pays the mortgage using her own funds and not taxpayers’ dollars. She does consider herself special but she is almost never arrogant or swells up like a bullfrog in public. She also has no flag poles in her yard but has one or two Chinese friends.
I have no idea what is legal or not in photography. It’s so confusing and fun.
According to Wikipedia “In 1972, Ricky Nelson reached the Top 40 one last time with “Garden Party“, a song he wrote in disgustafter a Madison Square Garden audience booed him when he tried playing new songs instead of just his old hits. “Garden Party” reached number 6 on the Billboard Hot 100 and number 1 on the Billboard Adult Contemporary chart and was certified as a gold single.”
‘n’ it’s all right now, learned my lesson well
You see, ya can’t please everyone, so you got to please yourself
Not exactly an original thought but it’s stuck in my head with this song.
So the flag and pole did cost around $TT2 million and nobody is surprised, just outraged and happy for the ammo. Though a breakdown of the expenses adding up to the 2 million was given by Team Hunt, I am not in a position to say if any, or how many, greased-hands were involved since I am not a flag man. The point is not only the credibility of the cost of the monster-flag and associated concrete but the reason we need a monster-flag during a recession and a white collar crime wave.
People are not saying it yet but most think the flag is like the Honest Coast Guard with Australian interceptor boats seizing a shipment of coke or compressed marijuana – how many shipments were not seized – The majority. So, with the very visible waste-of-money flag and pole, we know where that extravagance went, but how many more extravagant waste-0f-money-items did we not know about? The majority – that is what most think.
Yet, despite all the evidence and citizens’ mounting frustrations with crime, traffic, unemployment, and Bailey bridges, our certified-stupid Propaganda Minister admits the current Cabinet made only few mistakes but overall, they are doing a wonderful job. He was quoted as saying the mistakes will remain mistakes until they (The Ministers) acknowledge them (the mistakes). How do you unscrew a pregnant woman?
A poll by CNC3 last night showed the disconnect between the citizens and the Government that Reginald Dumas is constantly talking about when 95% of the voters said the Government is doing a bad job. Once the Government think the kick-back ready 5% of the population is all that matter, is crapo smoke we ganaga again.
p.s – the new unit of measure for the cost of public projects in Trinidad and Tobago is now The Flag-Pole where One (1) Flag-Pole is equal to TT$ 2 Million. E.g. The Education Tower in Port of Spain, unfurnished and incomplete, has cost taxpayers 230 Flag-Poles so far. CHOGM will be costing in the order of 120 Flag-Poles. Somehow, those don’t sound so bad.
Ever notice when somebody dies tragically the photo that makes the newspapers is from the victim’s driver’s permit, ID card, or passport; all photographic nightmares. To me, it’s tragic enough someone died terribly but why does the press see the need to humiliate the victim and the victim’s loved ones further with such a photograph. It’s like throwing salt in Diet Coke.
Since the reporters and editors are part human, part stone, part insensitive I want to suggest everybody carry in their wallets a good photo displaying their most flattering photographic side and label the photo “Just in case.” If you are not an attractive person, have the photo altered with Photoshop. If Photoshop fails, see a plastic surgeon, or cheaper yet, carry a photo of a better looking person instead but not so good looking as to arouse suspicion. The aim is to make the public feel sorry you passed, not glad you left the world to make it a prettier place.
aka_lol is not my real name and it isn't even a name. I am a male, self-taught blogger with aspirations to become better over time and with counseling.
Bio
aka_lol was born in Trinidad and Tobago and blogs from the island of Trinidad. He is a friendly blogger with no blog-purpose other than self-amusement and immortality.
aka_lol's hobbies are photography, writing wrong things, reading good books, trans-Atlantic swimming, and meteor dodging.
aka_lol is an engineer by profession and by choice. As hard as it is right now, aka_lol supports the West Indies Cricket team.
aka quotes
Without condoms and common sense we don’t stand a chance ~ aka_lol
It can be said that sexiness is what celebrities start with and a book deal is what they end up as ~aka_lol
The Queen is Coming, No More Flooding!! ~aka_lol
We are more entertained by Commissions of Enquiries than troubled by them ~aka_lol
...stupid people need to be restrained before the country slips into that septic tank of no return ~ aka_lol
We are a population that wants to stop fighting with our elected Government and selected President and start worrying about how much of the Heritage Fund will be used for conferences and bribes ~aka_lol
A sex tape is now like a cell phone, everybody has one and some even have one with each service provider ~ aka_lol
Small minds victimize a lot ~ aka_lol
About Engineers
An engineer is someone who is good with figures, but doesn't have the personality of an accountant.
- An Arts graduate's view of engineers-
An engineer is someone who washes his hands before going to the toilet.
- Anonymous-
There are three possible roads to ruin - women, gambling and technology. The most pleasant is with women, the quickest is with gambling, but the surest is with technology.
- Georges Pompidou -
Don't worry about people stealing your ideas. If
your ideas are any good, you'll have to ram them
down people's throats. - Howard Aiken, IBM engineer -
copyright
aka_lol thinks it should be obvoius that the original content of this blog is copyrighted by the owner, aka:aka_lol and may not be reproduced without permission. The content not created by aka_lol belongs to its owners. Maybe you are wondering who in their right mind will ever want to copy anything from this blog. I am wondering that as well, but having the right mind isn't as common as you may think.
Quote of the Day
The pleasure of hating, like a poisonous mineral, eats into the heart of religion, and turns it to rankling spleen and bigotry; it makes patriotism an excuse for carrying fire, pestilence, and famine into other lands: it leaves to virtue nothing but the spirit of censoriousness, and a narrow, jealous, inquisitorial watchfulness over the actions and motives of others. What have the different sects, creeds, doctrines in religion been but so many pretexts set up for men to wrangle, to quarrel, to tear one another in pieces about, like a target as a mark to shoot at? ~ William Hazlit – On the Pleasure of Hating
I did the Right Brain/ Left Brain Quiz and here is my score
The higher of these two numbers below indicates which side of your brain has dominance in your life. Realising your right brain/left brain tendancy will help you interact with and to understand others.
Trinidad and Tobago is never a dull place with activities taking place like the proposed restructuring of the now much-too-fat-for-years Petrotrin, and the creation of more lucrative industries such as the flagpole sector. The entertainment industry is also now more entertaining than ever with the unexpected release of a sex-tape featuring former Miss Trinidad and Tobago, Anya Ayoung-Chee and “boyfriend American photographer, Wyatt Gallery” – what a name. There was a comment in The Daily Express today by Photographer Wyatt concerning the sex-tape(s) and I do feel sorry for the couple since I rated the tape a 3 out of 5, at best. They need to brush up.
Hot on the heels of the sex tape, there was Jerry Narace, Minister of Health, saying now that he has conquered tobacco; he is going after sugar. Don’t laugh since sugar kills more people and causes more suffering in Trinidad and Tobago than many popular lifestyle diseases such as eating animal fat or drinking vodka and orange juice, but not as much as sitting in traffic. As Minister of Health, he is obligated to tell people what to eat to avoid being killed in one of the nation’s hospitals. I am all for prevention and any law that will make a Kiss Cake seem as dangerous as three bandits attacking you and your wife at home, I am for.
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