Despite previous public perception, I am the Attorney General who knows nutting about criminal law. Now under this maladministration we had a Minister of Justice who knew quite a bit about criminals so that is why the PM fire he ass. I see no reason to resign because I was so ignorant about criminal law it ain’t funny. I couldn’t even tell the difference between a purse snatcher and a white collar criminal. In fact, when Section 34 went before cabinet I fly away fast, fast because whether I was there or in Alaska, it wouldn’t ah make ah damn difference and I think the PM was fully cognisant of this. However it should be noted that only last night I ordered two books from Amazon Bargain Books section, Criminal Law for Dummies and The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Criminal Law. With this new found knowledge I will now be able to advise Cabinet properly and at a level they can understand. I am surprised people are calling for my head and I only assume it is because I have fat cheeks. And, no, stupidity is never a reason to be dismissed from cabinet because if that was the case the cabinet of this country will be nearly empty all the time.
All my friends told me since I have nothing better to do I should write you, a man with a big blog, for advice on something that has been troubling me for some time. I read that PM Kamie say they want to crack down on White Collar Crime so they want to set up an Anti-Corruption Commission. PM Kamie say “If it is that a man works for $1,000 but he is driving a million-dollar BMW, then where did that money come from?” Well aka, I think I have a little whistle to blow. There is a girl who works in my office as a clerk for about $5,000 a month but drives a brand new 3-Series BMW and lives in a $4,000 a month apartment. This girl seems addicted to the gym and a diet. She is always dressed in the finest tight pants, short skirts and popping tops. I think she gets her money through corruption but my friends say she is probably a very good worker as the Boss was seen on more than a few occasions going to her apartment late at night to give her work. Do you think I should blow a whistle and take out a bigger life insurance?
Dear Preserved Cherry,
I can see the Anti-Corruption Commission having the power to dig deep in the lives of many people who are either corrupt or just having a good time. In the case you described, I think the Boss is the clerk’s Sugar Daddy. This may not be a White Collar crime but more like a good White Collar wine. On the other hand, the Boss may be involved in some corrupt activity to raise some extra funds to support his lovely, high-maintenance habit. I am sure the Anti-Corruption Commission will have a good time investigating the reasons so many people are having too much fun in this country. Not only will the Anti-Corruption Commission cause the sale of BMWs and Audis to plunge, further stagnating the economy, but it will encourage both Sugar Daddies and those they Sugar Daddy to become more creative. Boldfaceness will be a thing of the past. I think you should blow your little whistle since you never know the truth until the Government legally spies. Also, the Government is going to pass a law to protect whistle blowers, a rapidly dying breed. In Trinidad and Tobago, this protection will have to include the issuing of hand guns and bullet proof vests by the State to the whistler as hits are now the weapon of choice in solving all problems.
So the flag and pole did cost around $TT2 million and nobody is surprised, just outraged and happy for the ammo. Though a breakdown of the expenses adding up to the 2 million was given by Team Hunt, I am not in a position to say if any, or how many, greased-hands were involved since I am not a flag man. The point is not only the credibility of the cost of the monster-flag and associated concrete but the reason we need a monster-flag during a recession and a white collar crime wave.
People are not saying it yet but most think the flag is like the Honest Coast Guard with Australian interceptor boats seizing a shipment of coke or compressed marijuana – how many shipments were not seized – The majority. So, with the very visible waste-of-money flag and pole, we know where that extravagance went, but how many more extravagant waste-0f-money-items did we not know about? The majority – that is what most think.
Yet, despite all the evidence and citizens’ mounting frustrations with crime, traffic, unemployment, and Bailey bridges, our certified-stupid Propaganda Minister admits the current Cabinet made only few mistakes but overall, they are doing a wonderful job. He was quoted as saying the mistakes will remain mistakes until they (The Ministers) acknowledge them (the mistakes). How do you unscrew a pregnant woman?
A poll by CNC3 last night showed the disconnect between the citizens and the Government that Reginald Dumas is constantly talking about when 95% of the voters said the Government is doing a bad job. Once the Government think the kick-back ready 5% of the population is all that matter, is crapo smoke we ganaga again.
p.s – the new unit of measure for the cost of public projects in Trinidad and Tobago is now The Flag-Pole where One (1) Flag-Pole is equal to TT$ 2 Million. E.g. The Education Tower in Port of Spain, unfurnished and incomplete, has cost taxpayers 230 Flag-Poles so far. CHOGM will be costing in the order of 120 Flag-Poles. Somehow, those don’t sound so bad.