Serena Williams’ Sexy New Video Game Ad Pulled


Serena Williams Top Spin

A good ad agency knows what will offend the pretentious so it is not surprising that this Serena Williams ad for the video game Top Spin was considered “too risqué for television.” That television would be American TV and obviously not Trinidad and Tobago TV which is accustomed to showing all forms of gyrations without even breaking a sweat or receiving a complaint except that the video was too short, or the skirt too long.

The Top Spin ad, I suppose,stressed too much on  the behind the scenes attractions of tennis instead of the boring part of the game which is as bland as dry toast in prison.  I admire the ad agency not only for a well made video that holds the attention as much as anything on Playboy TV but in also understanding that to offend is sometimes necessary to succeed in a world where commercial success is usually driven by sex.

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Porn in 3D


3D movies are the latest craze to hit the planet with nearly every new, big-budget, special effect movie like Avatar, Toy Story 3 and The Last Airbender hitting the screens in this not so new, lifelike format. Audiences have been lapping up 3D offerings and only a few have been complaining of headaches and nausea while wearing those obnoxious, reusable, germ-filled 3D glasses that smell like an old hotdog. 3D is now available in your home but only if you have inherited a fortune or was into government corruption. Every component needed to view 3D movies at home such as 3D Blu-Ray players, 3D-flat screen TVs and battery operated 3D glasses appeared to be priced to cause permanent poverty but prices are expected to come down as the 3D industry milk those impatient early adopters dry. Recently, the World Cup was shown in the US on a pay-per-view channel in 3D and more 3D channels are planned.

What the industry has been silently active about is what I consider the best use of 3D technology so far and that is 3D porn. 3D makes the images on the screen come to life as the brain is tricked into believing things are in one’s lap. What could be better to propel the porn movie industry than a lap dance on the screen that sends one’s pulse rate from resting to unsafe in one second? 3D technology was meant to make people happier so it is only a matter of time before the entire adult industry goes from boringly flat to nicely protruding.

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Elections in Trinidad and Tobago – Time For a Party


The ruling party is hoping that the bribe of freshly paved roads and an increase in old age pension grants will secure enough votes to win the general election on May 24th thus delaying or eliminating the need for certain big boys to go to jail. Only the gullible will think the money for these reelections schemes came from the pockets of politicians and not the pockets of citizens.  Most of the population was grateful to the Government for throwing some money their way and not throwing more money at the Malaysians, the Chinese, the Summits, the undulating stadium or other forms of corruption. The crowds at the ruling party’s and opposition partnership party’s rallies on Sunday seemed big though the Coalition’s crowd seemed larger from TV. If popular support won elections then the ruling party should be scared – it doesn’t but they are.

The competition for votes to stay out of jail is vicious and the Government seem to have made a decision to let the public know what it has accomplished via  expensive full-page ads and TV spots paid for using taxpayers’ dollars. This shows what the ruling party’s stand on integrity is but few will care.  Fortunately, the ruling party is loved by many contractors for their stance on the issue of spending taxpayer’s money corruptly.

The fallout from a general elections is considerable and if the ruling party loses the election many who are now Government Ministers will  be wondering how they will survive on no income, little skill and no Bus Route Pass. Some, who now live in mansions or hotels, may have to settle for a little town house somewhere or a big condo or jail cell somewhere else. The retention of power is not just about being in a position to meddle in things that will keep people prison-free but about losing the position of being a super bully. But these are still early days and the bullies may still end up with the power to bully any citizen they choose.

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Flow and Directv in Trinidad and Tobago – Video Quality etc


Presently, Flow Trinidad has much better Standard Definition (SD) picture quality than Directv in Trinidad and Tobago because Directv uses more signal compression that Flow. Compression of TV signals is what it sounds like and can be compared to having a box that can hold 10 bags of flour and you want to put 13 bags in it. To get all 13 to fit,  you will have to squeeze (compress) the bags of flour.  After the bags are squeezed to fit some bags may burst and all will become distorted resulting in a disgruntled chef or housewife. The grocer will only care if customers refuse to buy the flour, otherwise he is peddling a defective product  to unsuspecting customers. People assume the term digital quality means something better than average but in Directv Trinidad’s case it is even worse than watching local TV picked up with a properly installed rooftop antenna.

Over-compression is what Directv Caribbean and Latin America (Third World Edition) is suffering from and feel they can get away with this because of the typical thinking that Third World People are not only stupid, but cannot appreciate quality. They are so wrong.  Directv has only a limited amount of satellite space to fit the the multitude of channels their Latin American and Caribbean customers want so they have decided to compress channels beyond the limit of looking good to make that extra dollar. On a 27-inch low-resolution CRT TV the Directv video looks average but on a 50-inch plasma, Directv’s SD picture is not acceptable.  However, from a recent demo, Directv’s sprinkling of High Definition (HD) channels looks great but the SD channels may make you want to pick up a book and read instead.

Dr Yagi and his invention, the Yagi TV antenna

Another serious Directv problem is that customers are not able to view local channels via their satellite dish and instead have to concoct a solution that is extremely frustrating to use compared to Flow’s just-click-and-it’s-there solution. In some cases, Directv’s local channel solution is costly to implement and kept a secret by the installers. From what I saw of the Directv Plus HD DVR receiver, their is no VHF tuner which is a big design bungle, as far as I am concerned,  but the receiver (HR22 I think) has HDMI, optical audio and coax audio outputs – a high-tech device being fed with low quality inputs.

I couldn’t find out if Directv has any plans to address the poor quality video and local channel issues but with Blink Entertainment Cable TV from TSTT soon to be launched with a superior and more affordable channel lineup, it is something Directv must do immediately to survive. Until I am convinced Directv can provide a superior service and quality  product as they claim, I will stick with Flow and consider Blink.

Sorry Directv Trinidad and Tobago, you can’t cut it just yet.

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Why Golf Makes Men Horny


After hearing the language of golf, it is not surprising that Tiger Woods probably felt a little horny after a day on the field. Golf  to the uninitiated may look like a dead man’s sport but it is anything but. It is a game for gentlemen and women who have moved up the social ladder so can no longer get turned on using crude and direct sexual statements in public. The upper and better people are still human and need sex as much as the lower ones and sometimes in kinkier ways because they can afford it.  Golf is really a game of sex and just by looking at the positions the female adopts during the game makes me feel it should be removed from public TV along with women’s beach volleyball and bikini mud wresteling. Let’s keep TV clean.

—-

Here is a joke circulating on the Internet which puts golf in its rightful place.

Why Golf is a Horny Game:

1. Look at the size of his putter.
2. Oh, dang, my shaft’s all bent.
3. You really whacked the hell out of that sucker.
4. After 18 holes I can barely walk.
5. My hands are so sweaty I can’t get a good grip.
6. Lift your head and spread your legs.
7. You have a nice stroke, but your follow through leaves a lot to be desired.
8. Just turn your back and drop it.
9. Hold up. I’ve got to wash my balls.
10. Damn, I missed the hole again.

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Hot Hops Bread and The Private Jet from God


cartoon_private_jetMaybe it’s public mischief again but a big man from Boeing probably visited TnT to negotiate the new fleet for Caribbean Airlines, and hardly likely also one private jet on the side. With the public support for the government flagging, this may appear to be the wrong time to buy a luxury such as a private jet or a big flag. Is it, really?

This Government has been smarter and more righteous than most give them credit for. If the country buys that much needed pro-green, private jet at recession prices then the right economic signal will be sent. It will signal the start of a new round of much-needed high wage demands and the buying of big screen TVs with surround sound speakers in Miami. It will also signal the start of another economic boom, massive employment opportunities, foreign exchange availability, aluminum and no more layoffs. It will, however, mainly signal the start of spending on luxury food items like powdered-milk, sardines and crusty hops bread from St. Mary’s Bakery in Curepe.  PM PM promised the country manna from heaven (aka hot hops bread) during the last elections and if, God Willing,  he has to get a Private Jet to fly it in, then so be it. I want my manna now!

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Trinidad and Tobago – Even Worse Than UDECOTT


ball and legs - Kill Bill Vol 1The first thing people must understand is that despite the bad press the UDECOTT fiasco is generating and even if big, big, unsmiling, arrogant men in Government were implicated it won’t change the outcome of an election. What would change the outcome is if this current economic situation and mismanagement by the government affects people’s pockets.

Who thief” was always a form of vile entertainment for the population but not a reason to change die-hard political allegiance. However, despite the middle-class expressing annoyance with the Property Tax’s bigger ball and shorter chain, the inevitable slide of the TT dollar will be the blow that cracked everybody’s gold-plated egg. The currency slide will take away any gains people thought they made over the last few years. Big screen TVs and even big hard drives will once again become long-term dreams of the population just like winning the lotto. This currency slide will turn the manna from heaven our PM promised into anger and rage. That is why the self-righteous but corrupt trade union leaders are now vocal – they too need bigger TVs at good prices and vacations to Disney World.

Everybody knows the PM isn’t as stupid as he looks and sounds and that the PM loves power as much as he loves his million-dollar drapes, thus he is likely to call an election early in the New Year to protect the two things he loves the most. He will call the election months before all hell breaks loose and after he regains power the crime rate of today will seem like the good old days. The PM will get the majority in Parliament he longed for because the Opposition, having big, unaccounted for foreign bank accounts, has become an arm of the Government – surprise, surprise.

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F-Word – The BBC and Christian Bale Fiasco


WARNING!!! STOP!!!

YOU MUST BE OF A CERTAIN AGE TO VIEW THE POSTED VIDEO!!

Before you press play on the YouTube video there is something you should know. The video contains the f-word and was shown by the BBC on national TV, hopefully by accident. The BBC expressed great remorse and the announcers were on the verge of tears. One broadcaster even said “Oh f***” but the microphone was fortunately turned off.  I know it’s childish to even use the word f-word instead of the real word since your daddy and mommy probably use the f-word in your presence and even when calling you (f-wording child, come here!) but the world is always offended by the truth so we must hide it.

The f-word in the YouTube video was repeatedly uttered by Christian Bale during one of the best actor-outburst in recent actor-outburst history. Mr Bale is a famous actor who became famous for dressing as that superhero so many impressionable children and women with a thing for men with muffled voices adore, Batman. Bale also makes a few extra dollars from acting in imitation Terminator flicks. This can upset some and his use of the f-word can also.

The f-word-offended would include people and priest – holy men actually say bless you my child instead of the f-word – who never use the f-word regardless of prevailing conditions such as stubbing recently stubbed toes, trying to put on a condom in a crowded airplane washroom, seeing the PM up close, talking to a TSTT customer service representative, looking at the West Indies play cricket, seeing a Newsday editor, or trying to find a new Kevin Baldeosingh article to read on a Friday.

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED SO PRESS PLAY AT YOUR OWN RISK!!

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