2010 in review – This Beach Called Life


The following was auto-generated by wordpress.com and the stats disagrees slightly from the Site Stats that I normally monitor but who is really counting. Naturally I modified the wording slightly:

The stats helper monkeys at WordPress.com mulled over how this blog did in 2010, and here’s a high level summary of its overall blog health:

Healthy blog!

The Blog-Health-o-Meter™ reads Wow.

Crunchy numbers

Featured image

The Louvre Museum has 8.5 million visitors per year. This blog was viewed about 630,000 times in 2010. If it were an exhibit at The Louvre Museum, it would take 27 days for that many people to see it.

In 2010, there were 113 new posts, growing the total archive of this blog to 653 posts. There were 306 pictures uploaded, taking up a total of 65mb. That’s about 6 pictures per week.

The busiest day of the year was September 8th with 7,514 views. The most popular post that day was Life on Mars and Halle Berry.

Where did they come from?

The top referring sites in 2010 were en.wordpress.com, search.aol.com, search.conduit.com, and jumbieswatch.com (Thank You, jumbie).

Some visitors came searching, mostly for megan fox, scarlett johansson, miranda kerr, halle berry, and zoe saldana.

Attractions in 2010

These are the posts and pages that got the most views in 2010.

1

Life on Mars and Halle Berry January 2008
4 comments

2

Megan Fox Sex Symbol Revealed June 2009
12 comments

3

Victoria’s Secret – Models Exposed April 2009
13 comments

4

The Bikini in 2009 – Still Almost Naked July 2009
5 comments

5

Sexiest Women Alive, Really October 2009
2 comments

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Sexiest Women Alive, Really


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Kate Beckinsale

Kate Beckinsale is Esquire Magazine’s new Sexiest Woman Alive. I don’t disagree or agree since sexy is as subjective as the selection of Miss Universe or Cabinet Ministers. Kate Beckinsale is 36 years old and her age did not work against her selection.  To be sexy at 21 is no big deal but to be sexy at 36 might require talent and plastic surgery. I suppose Kate Beckinsale was up against the girl Rolling Stone Magazine is calling America’s Sexiest Bad Girl, Megan Fox, who is reportedly prone to temper tantrums and tattoos, both sexy traits that men look for in future girlfriends and wives. Mrs Fox also reportedly said that she wasn’t born with a special vagina.

megan-fox

Megan Fox is Bad

No doubt, Kate Beckinsale was also up against the perennial Halle Berry, Scarlett Johansson, Angelina Jolie and Beyoncé Giselle Knowles so her win is not a sham. But sexy is not only for the famous who show ample amounts of leg to the public, it is for the commoner. If you take a walk down the streets of any big city not suffering from inhibitions and fear you would see many sexy women who could compete with the best fame has to offer. But like tight jeans, short skirts and visible underwear, fame and hype amplifies sexiness. Sexiness means money and is used by the entertainment industry to give value to the lives of celebrities. It can be said that sexiness is what celebrities start with and a book deal is what they end up as.

beyonce_jayz2

Beyonce Looks Good

Scarlett Johansson Shows Almost Enough

Scarlett Johansson Shows Almost Enough

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007 – Secrets Revealed


The 007 Trade Mark

The 007 Symbol of Success

I first met James Bond on a flight from Trinidad to Miami in 2007. He was flying economy because, as he would later explain, he was undercover. I didn’t recognize him at first since he had changed so many times over the years but what eventually gave him away was the use of his precise British accent to pick up the flight attendant and the manila folder on his lap marked”Double-Oh-Seven- Top Secret – For Your Eyes Only, Mr. Bond.” Naturally he denied he was 007 but I was persistent and he finally caved in. Caving in to a layman was not what one would have expected from the best and longest surviving Secret Agent the world had known. I felt he needed someone to talk too and I later realized that carrying the burden of secrecy year in, year out can crack even the oddest ball.

Bond was hesitant to talk about his job at first and explained that he was in Trinidad for a holiday but as he was about to lay down his head, M called with a new mission which had knocked the winds out his sails. He said he went from hero to zero in no time but I suspected he was the victim of great expectations. Bond had to get the first flight out of Trinidad and he never realized that there were so many. I said Trinidad was a place that people liked to leave but Bond failed to notice my attempted humor since, I assumed, he was distracted by his mission and windless sails.

James Bond as he boarded a flight from Trinidad to Miami

James Bond as he boarded a flight from Trinidad to Miami

I was eager to find out about the Secret Agent business since I often pretend I was a Secret Agent making calls from my shoe instead of my cell phone. Bond admitted the Secret Agent business was overrated and many of the secrets of the business could be found in any Robert Ludlum book or Google. I was more interested in the women aspect of the business and he said he it was the main reason he stayed for so long. Bond revealed he was writing a book he was going to either call Women I Bon(d)ed or Women in Bondage. I said the name didn’t matter once there were pictures and Bond agreed.

Bond Girls

Bond Girls

007 grew more talkative as the Martinis flowed. He talked about Odd Job, Goldfinger and our very own Mr. Big. He spoke fondly of Ursula Andress,  Michelle Yeoh and Halle Berry in a bikini. Bond recommended BMW passionately but wondered if The Prime Minister will give Benz, Audi, Jaguar and Aston Martin a chance to bid. James was bitter when I asked about MI6 (Emm eye six) and said he was seriously thinking about leaving and joining the CIA now that Barack Obama was the President. Bond also complained about Tom Cruise, called him pretentious and short, and said there were very few people who understood what was impossible about Cruise’s missions. Bond thought people were mainly interested in the special effects and Tom’s sultry women. I said people were also saying that about Bond and he seemed quite surprised and drunk.

The Air Marshals had to restrain Bond and carry him off the plane when he started to let out top secret information and show passengers his gun. I felt sorry for the Secret Agent who had sacrificed so much of his life saving the world from misguided villains and Republicans but who had now become a little bananas. I realized that Bond’s main source of stress was that he had many women friends who looked so good that it was driving him insane trying to remember their names and tatoo locations. Luckily, before Bond was arrested I was able to get his little black book from his pocket, a book which promised to give me, the new 007, a Quantum of Solace.

Life on Mars and Halle Berry


Halle Berry

Not only was there life on Mars, but also a writer’s union strike and canceled TV shows for the next season. Scientist on Earth hoped that life on Mars would have shed more light on the origins of life and male pattern baldness but this did not happen as hardcover copies of Cosmos by Carl Sagan and Rogain were found to be the only bestsellers on Mars for hundreds of years. Life on Mars was dreary and unfair like it was on Earth except that their United States hardly bought anything from their China other than mosquito coils, oyster sauce and rice noodles. Like Earth, Mars had its fair share of corrupt public officials and morons who roamed the planet trying to get votes.

Martians had similar traits to Earthlings and they both often complained about potholes on the roads. Martians also burnt tires so that the smoke signals could alert road officials and low orbiting spacecraft exactly where the road craters were located. On Mars, there were no tsunamis or bubble baths since there was no water due to slack management of the Martian Water Authority. The land prices on Mars shifted uncontrollably because sand storms often shifted land location. There was very little change in red being the favorite color of Mars but on Earth the color concrete became the color of choice and green became an artificial color. Martians did not need passports to travel within their planet and it was only required for entry into the US. The most popular movies on Mars were sci-fi movies where Earthlings were shown to be creatures destroying planet Earth and fellow Earthlings for unbelievable reasons. Martian suicide bombings became a thing of the past on Mars after Martians discovered that Heaven was a place on Earth.

Man on MarsMartians thought that the Earthling String Bikini was too modest since Martians, like Venusians and porn stars, never wore clothes except when under a mosquito or paparazzi attack. Though Martians did not learn anything earth shattering from Earthlings, but they did like Earth beaches of the Caribbean, Halle Berry, and this blog.