What Makes a Woman Sexy Besides Breasts

G-String or Thong as seen in Wikipedia - Tingly sensations will follow

Every man knows a sexy woman when he sees one but may not know why he finds her hot, thinking it’s just breasts again or that dental floss g-string. Those feelings which a man gets that tells him a woman is desirable are biological and beyond his desire to control. It’s not a g-string clothed butt in isolation which triggers a man’s excitement but  a part of the man’s brain which is used for, of all things, CXC maths exams to work out ratios.

Sexy at Maracas Bay - Trinidad

When a man sees a woman with an exposed navel the ratio-lobe in his brain subconsciously and accurately does the following math:  – ground to navel distance (including stilettos) divided by the navel to top of head distance (including hair piece and/or tiara). If that ratio works out to be approximately 1.6180339887 the woman is classified as sexy and the man’s brain quickly sends those tingly, sexy sensations to the appropriate male areas of the body. The male brain, being sex driven and little else, becomes happy and records in the back of his mind the image of that sexy woman for later use. A woman with the right ratios alone doesn’t make sexy and when she turns around so that the man’s eyes can finally see the woman’s face, a similar computation is done using the distance between the woman’s eyes and the length of the nose, length of smile, twist of the teeth and pimple placement. This facial calculation determines beauty, a part of sexiness.  This concept of total mathematical sexiness gave rise to the popular saying “She looked good until I did the math.”

Trinidad and Tobago Sexy - thanks mayarobeach.com

Trinidad and Tobago Sexy - thanks mayarobeach.com

Fortunately, most men do not find a perfect female body to be the only form of sexiness and there are as many variations as there are short skirts and low-cut tops. To describe all these variations is beyond the scope of this blog post and author’s intelligence. However, there is one form of sexiness that hasn’t been analyzed mathematically and only empirically and that is the roll of the hips by a woman when walking towards or away from a man on either a normal work day or Carnival days. That hip roll, sway, gyration or wine can easily fill a man’s head with stimulating thoughts for days. Because most people realize how important the female hip roll is to world population growth, belly dancers and our local winer guls are held in high esteem in all countries. The term belly dancer is really a misnomer and to be a good belly dancer a woman should not have much of a belly but  be a slave to the gym, low-calorie diets and waxing warm.

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The Quest For The Golden Ratio

The Golden Ratio

The girl who cuts my hair is attractive but hardly smiles when she has a scissors in her hand. I don’t know if this is good or bad but I wish I knew. She has the intensity of a surgeon and the looks of a short and pretty model. Her hair always looks different every time I visit but I like the red and the green.

I am not too fussy about how my hair is cut but rather who cuts my hair and how she looks in jeans. For a man, getting a haircut from an attractive woman is the most fun he can have while sitting in one position. Attractive hairdressers with ample bosoms is not the only reason I am glad I am not bald, but also the girls who are in the hair salon waiting or dying. Some girls look quite good in aluminum foil while others have their legs, lips and brows waxed in a different chamber. Waxing used to be considered a form of torture in the olden days, but now it is considered necessary if one is to remain competitive.

To some extent, beauty is in the mind of the beholder, but there are visible ratios in women and objects that are considered more appealing than others making beauty mainly biological rather than cultural. This ratio is called the Golden Ratio. To beautify is to make beautiful by adjusting the objects’ ratio until golden, or as close as possible to golden. This is where the phrase “You struck gold with that one” came from. The Quest For The Golden Ratio also gave rise to diets, gyms, cosmetic surgery and Dr. Phil. If I greet a woman who is attractive I say Happy to see you. If she is not I say Greetings from Planet Earth. I mean what I say in both cases but what I never say to any woman is You look like the right ratio.

In a follow up to this blog post I will try to come to terms with beauty and the brain.