Windows 8 and Orgasms

orgasmsInitial reviews of Microsoft’s Windows 8 suggest the learning curve is steep for regular Windows users  and apparently it even confuses the minds of eight year olds. This overlooked fact means both parents and grandparents with new PCs will be lost in the windowed woods without any form of tutoring for some time. Some expert reviewers are even suggesting that Windows 8 is not even related to Windows 7 in terms of user-interface so it should have been called something else – I suggest MS Confusion One, MS Confusion One Point One etc.

For those who are not following the intriguing world of Operating Systems for computers, Windows 8 is Microsoft’s attempt to have one OS for computer, laptop, tablet and phone. When Microsoft came up with the concept of Windows 8, they assumed most users had touch-screen computers so there is a heavy bias in Windows 8 to make mouse and keyboard use so difficult, PC users will consider throwing their PCs and best friends who tried to help but became just as insane, through the window.

It seems that the only people rushing to upgrade to Windows 8 will be those puzzle-solving freaks who will more than likely have several orgasms and near-orgasms while figuring out how to do simple things on Windows 8 like shut down the PC or an application. Finding the traditional Start button might even be equivalent to finding and using the elusive, and sometimes mythical, g-spot. Microsoft knows that in order to match Apple OS xxx, Windows 8 was inevitable as the world is rapidly evolving into an Apple-created touch-mode world. The Redmond folks probably thought that biting the bullet now is better than having a live grenade thrown at them later. On the bright side, we, the users,  will no longer have to point our mouses and click to load news articles or save girls in jpg format to our hard drive. The new intuitive touchy-feely, on-demand world will insist that if we want it we should touch it and save it on that virtual drive provided by some cloud guys.

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4 thoughts on “Windows 8 and Orgasms

  1. Well you know the name of the game is upgrades cause that’s where the money is and Microsoft is hurting for money – just ask any of their millionaire employees.

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  4. Hell no. I was happy with XP. They did Vista and W7 to me. Now I’ve learned to be happy with W7, I’m supposed to waste time learning an OS all over again with this? I’m one of those who prefer to keep my good-working old… car. 😀

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