The Integrity Commission’s Newest Member

integrityPro Max: Hello, aka please.

Aka: This is He.

Pro Max: This is Pro Max. How are you, aka?

Aka: Pro, ah make out yuh voice one time. I ok man. How you?

Pro Max: Boy, I had to leave my undisclosed destination to come home and fix up some loose ends. That press have no idea how much stress I have and when I wineup so much I have to unwind sometimes.

Aka: Ah hear bout dem loose ends.

Pro Max: That is why I am calling. I am looking for people with integrity again. Or at least people willing to serve on The Commission. That is why I am calling you.

Aka: Why?

Pro Max: Would you be willing to serve, Aka?

Aka: Serve what? Tea? Tennis balls? The Party?

Pro Max: No, you joker you. On The Commission.

Aka: Nah boy. De way I see they crucifying people on that Commission. Not me.

Pro Max: But the pay is good and chicks will go for you.

Aka: Ok, I will serve. Buh whah position yuh offering? Ah think ah goe hah tu get dat in writing.

Pro Max: I am a man of my word and I have to ask you a few questions first before we can sign off on the deal.

Aka: Shoot. I aint fraid that.

Pro Max: Have you ever been dishonest in the last 15 years in ways people might find out about?

Aka: What you mean “dishonest?” I does download some MP3s off and on and I does buy a pirate DVD sometimes. I even download some software cracks but these days dem thing loaded with spyware.

Pro Max: That doesn’t sound too dishonest. What about jumping over fences to pick Julie Mangoes or other priority fruits?

Aka: Only Starch.

Pro Max: I am considering mainly Julie today but I might have to start considering Starch if the press makes a fuss.

Aka: I suppose yuh going to ask about plagiarizing now.

Pro Max: Nahh, is only serious thing I worried about. Everybody does do that. It like breaking traffic light and driving on the shoulder. Anybody know about the starch mango thing?

Aka: Only mih two partners who jump with me and the one who remain on lookout.

Pro Max: Good. Loyal friends, I hope. Anything the press could find out about?

Aka: Boy, dem newspaper people does be everywhere and read everything yes. Ah does look at a little Adult porn in guava season and sometimes ah does zoom a little close with mih lens.

Pro Max: Stueeps. Even Priest does…Well zooming is better than wining up … never mind. So far, yuh sounding like ah man of Integrity. Yuh like PM PM? Just a joke, boy. Did you ever take a bribe?

Aka: No, but if ah take this post yuh offering…

Pro Max: …hush nah.