Who Stole Paris Hilton’s Jewels


Somebody, probably a thief, has made off with $2 million worth of Paris Hilton’s jewelry on December 19th. The theft took place at the hotel heiress’s mansion and police said the burglar knew exactly where Miss Hilton kept her jewels and what they looked like – who doesn’t. The burglar, in the customary attempt to not be caught, wore a hoodie and gloves. Police were quite annoyed at the burglar for this attempted cover up and called the person a coward and a thief. Like the recent Queen Latifa Tobago jewelry incident, the police suspected it was an inside job since it was not done from the outside. Though Miss Hilton and the Mastercard people both claim Miss Hilton’s jewels are quite priceless the insurers appraised them at $2 million given prevailing market conditions and flash worthiness.

Paris Hilton urged the burglar to return the jewelry anonymously by having ahilton_jewelry taxi manned by an honest taxi driver deliver it in a box to her house so “they won’t get in trouble.” But she warned the cowardly, but newly rich thief, that if he/she/it/they didn’t do the right thing, “they’re going to get in more trouble.” Miss Hilton should know about more big trouble. The burglar was said to have asked Miss Hilton if a bag would do and Miss Hilton is reportedly considering the latest offer.

The Usual Suspect

The Usual Suspect


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