My Fellow Citizens
I come to you today under very trying circumstances and via a car without a number plate. I come to you today to let you know that we the Government didn’t burst the financial bubble but it was busted in another country by somebody else. I come to you today not to explain Torouba, the Hyatt, my arrogance, my pink tie, why the Summits still on, why we didn’t clean the drains or even why The Pompeck still so irritable. I come to you today to let you know the Government will be cutting back without cutting back the kick backs. I also come to you today to let you know I will be setting an example and cutting back on the BS. I come to you today to let you know, my fellow citizens, that only today my dear wife used one less egg in the macaroni pie and half the amount of cheese, which you may already know, is not good for my heart. I come to you today to let you know the pie was ok. I come to you today to inform you, the gullible public, if the Government cuts back on expenditure too much the economy will crash but if you, my fellow citizens, cut back on that chicken you had your eye on since last Christmas, the economy will do well. I come to you today because world leaders seem to be taking this financial thing seriously I must also appear to be doing the same, especially since we will be hosting two very extravagant summits next year and you know how dem world leaders does like to run dey mouth. That was the main reason I came to you today.
So Thank You and Ah Gone