The price of beer is going up on the local market and this has caused nausea and poor judgment among the loyal drinking community. One newspaper reported a bar fanatic almost fell off his stool on receiving the news, which was amazing since he normally falls off completely. Others were more than bitter and said they would now have to drink rum and scotch instead of beer and hangovers may never be the same. Some ugly drinkers threatened to stop buying condoms and reallocate funds from their sex life to their beer life. Being election time, one political party promised to subsidize beer instead of milk if it ever gets elected as the population would need huge amounts of alcohol and very little milk to cope with them in government. However, a spokesman for the beer company expects beer sales to climb because drinking is all anyone can do to cope with price increases.