A Wealthy Nation

Corn-curls are important to any nation aspiring to become developed. You can tell by the speed and urgency which the corn-curls delivery trucks pelt down the highway at six in the morning. I have nothing against early deliveries but driving like a menace to meet an unrealistic delivery schedule is criminal. All corn-curls investors want a high rate of return on their investment because they have boats and girlfriends to buy. In order to make more money the output per corn-curl worker has to be increased, thus giving rise to speeding trucks at daybreak. Higher profits mean increased employment and the employed not only provide for their families, they provide them with corn curls. The more corn-curls a country possesses wealthier the nation.

Beer trucks are slower than the trucks of their corn flavored counterparts. What they lack in speed and aggression they make up for in causing traffic jams in narrow country roads where the people-to-bar ratio is legendary. Beer distributors claim using smaller trucks would be uneconomical since they would cause less traffic, giving people less reason to drink. The main reason men drink beer is not to relieve stress but to attract females by developing an appealing beer-belly. Like corn curls, the beer-belly is a wealth indicator.

SUVs deliver children to schools and contribute positively to global warming. Not only is the SUV fuel-inefficient but also their drivers sport oversize sunglasses to hide wrinkles and hangovers. By driving an SUV a person makes a bold statement about what they are and that statement says, I may not be pretty but I sure got money. The typical SUV driver talks about the dangers of global warming while driving. They justify buying an SUV by claiming the roads are bad, and that is why they swerve from every pothole they meet. In most wealthy countries, the SUV and its owners are considered as important as corn curls and beer as wealth indicators.

We are a wealthy nation.

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